Marrying a Thai Wife: Overrated or Underrated?

[richard_smith237]

10 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

14 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

No...  but with that accusation you think you've scored a winning point while using a photo of a teenage Billie Piper...

... a but noncey !!!  

It's a photo of my former bosses wife, I think she was about 25 at the time, and had already recorded the TV series, "Adventures of a call girl" with plenty of nudity, as was her appearance in "Penny Dreadful".

 

You're using a photo of your former bosses wife....  erm....   that doesn't exactly score a winning point either !!

 

& that photo predates these TV series...   Anyway - no biggie, just highlighting that your avatar is open to criticism in the same manner as that you have criticised... 

 

Anyway - I agree...   She was quite the fox.

 

 

 

 

[zhounan]

I'd rather sit back and watch others enter a consumerism loop once they get married.

[KhunLA]

11 minutes ago, zhounan said:

I'd rather sit back and watch others enter a consumerism loop once they get married.

Some of us do like our hobbies & toys.  

[BigStar]

5 hours ago, save the frogs said:

i don't believe a lot of the nonsense other people post about relationships on here.

 

Good, but it depends on which other people. Aren't you the poster unable to see any girls in Pattaya except bar girls?

[KhunLA]

6 hours ago, save the frogs said:

i don't believe a lot of the nonsense other people post about relationships on here.

Agree, and I'm a complete farce ...

 

... "Mommy, can you bring me down another PB&J with a glass of milk"

 

Oh wait, unlike many folks hiding behind the keyboard, I'm an open book, and even have a few AN member who know me personally.  Can at least verify my BS from living in Udon Thani for 16 ish years.

 

Take your point though, and many a trolls living under the bridge 

 

 

[MangoKorat]

On 11/24/2024 at 10:32 PM, KhunLA said:

Take the word 'Thai' out.  It's a woman, hopefully, if that your preference.  No different than any other woman of the world. 

I can't agree with that. Feminism is not rampant with Thai women. I consider both men and women to be equal - no problems with that. However, I also believe that we each have our place - designed by nature. Men are the 'provider' because (in the main) they have the strength. Women have breasts because they feed the babies. Simplistic but factual.  The problems exist because of the tendency of men in many civilisations to subjugate women.

[MangoKorat]

On 11/24/2024 at 10:32 PM, KhunLA said:

You're marrying the woman, not the family.   Why would you support anyone else ?  Is this something you do in home country ?

Many non Asian men cannot understand this concept, the reality is that its part of Thai culture. If you live in Thailand with your Thai wife, you will of course be expected to support your wife's family - the trick is in knowing where the limits are and when you are simply being ripped off. A Thai man, if he had money, would face exactly the same in most cases.  Its akin to 'family social security' - just remember that government social security doesn't exist (in reality) for many Thai citizens.

 

However, its nothing to do with the fact that some Thai women actively target Western men in order to extract cash from them - there is a difference but it can sometimes be difficult to see.

 

Many years ago I was asked to pay quite a large amount for an operation my then mother in law needed.  I called a family meeting and told them straight - there are five children, all are married and all should contribute what they could afford, I was not going to pay for everything, I also had a family back home.  I'm not going to claim it was accepted easily, they each had their excuses as to why they couldn't pay but at the end of the day, the MIL had her operation and I paid 40%. The biggest benefit of sitting them down and stating my case was that such requests were few and far between after that.

[richard_smith237]

19 minutes ago, MangoKorat said:

I can't agree with that. Feminism is not rampant with Thai women. I consider both men and women to be equal - no problems with that. However, I also believe that we each have our place - designed by nature. Men are the 'provider' because (in the main) they have the strength. Women have breasts because they feed the babies. Simplistic but factual.  The problems exist because of the tendency of men in many civilisations to subjugate women.

 

In reality - so do most western women...  We just hear of the ridiculous vocal extremes on social media. 

All of my mates in the UK have relationships that include what maybe considered as 'traditional roles'  - Blokes do the Barbecuing and cutting the lawn, the women do the laundry and cooking etc... 

... this wave of Feminism is not welcomed by any female I know in the UK...   its just social media noise.

 

 

 

[KhunLA]

59 minutes ago, MangoKorat said:

Many non Asian men cannot understand this concept, the reality is that its part of Thai culture. If you live in Thailand with your Thai wife, you will of course be expected to support your wife's family - the trick is in knowing where the limits are and when you are simply being ripped off. A Thai man, if he had money, would face exactly the same in most cases.  Its akin to 'family social security' - just remember that government social security doesn't exist (in reality) for many Thai citizens.

 

However, its nothing to do with the fact that some Thai women actively target Western men in order to extract cash from them - there is a difference but it can sometimes be difficult to see.

 

Many years ago I was asked to pay quite a large amount for an operation my then mother in law needed.  I called a family meeting and told them straight - there are five children, all are married and all should contribute what they could afford, I was not going to pay for everything, I also had a family back home.  I'm not going to claim it was accepted easily, they each had their excuses as to why they couldn't pay but at the end of the day, the MIL had her operation and I paid 40%. The biggest benefit of sitting them down and stating my case was that such requests were few and far between after that.

 

Only if you are an idiot, or that just happens to be your choice.  Nothing wrong with either, as long as you have the funds.

 

Just not for me, and I have the funds.  My funds are for me & mine, not theirs.

 

1 hour ago, MangoKorat said:

I can't agree with that. Feminism is not rampant with Thai women. I consider both men and women to be equal - no problems with that. However, I also believe that we each have our place - designed by nature. Men are the 'provider' because (in the main) they have the strength. Women have breasts because they feed the babies. Simplistic but factual.  The problems exist because of the tendency of men in many civilisations to subjugate women.

 

You've been brainwashed.  Nobody has a place, and everyone has the freedom to do as they please.  Although they do need to exercise that freedom.  

 

Whatever makes a woman happy, that's what I want her to do.  I know what makes happy, and that's never going to change, and pity the woman that thinks she can.

 

Anyone hanging out with me for more than a week or 2 will understand that, and they can decide to except it, or have fun elsewhere.  Probably why most never lasted 1 or 2 weeks 

[Expat68]

10 hours ago, MangoKorat said:

Many non Asian men cannot understand this concept, the reality is that its part of Thai culture. If you live in Thailand with your Thai wife, you will of course be expected to support your wife's family - the trick is in knowing where the limits are and when you are simply being ripped off. A Thai man, if he had money, would face exactly the same in most cases.  Its akin to 'family social security' - just remember that government social security doesn't exist (in reality) for many Thai citizens.

 

However, its nothing to do with the fact that some Thai women actively target Western men in order to extract cash from them - there is a difference but it can sometimes be difficult to see.

 

Many years ago I was asked to pay quite a large amount for an operation my then mother in law needed.  I called a family meeting and told them straight - there are five children, all are married and all should contribute what they could afford, I was not going to pay for everything, I also had a family back home.  I'm not going to claim it was accepted easily, they each had their excuses as to why they couldn't pay but at the end of the day, the MIL had her operation and I paid 40%. The biggest benefit of sitting them down and stating my case was that such requests were few and far between after that.

That is why Thai men get p----d off and leave their wives, Thai women always say Thai man no good (which I used to believe) but after years of living here I can understand why they bag off

[Bredbury Blue]

On 11/25/2024 at 6:32 AM, KhunLA said:

Someone thinks too much.   Fantasy vs Reality ... who comes up with this stuff.

 

Take the word 'Thai' out.  It's a woman, hopefully, if that your preference.  No different than any other woman of the world.  

 

Same everywhere, emphasis on 'potentially' ... as all people aren't ...

... beautiful  (sounds a bit shallow)

... caring, good luck with that

... devoted, divorce rates not different 

... values family and home life  ???

 

More important, do you want to be married and or .... why ?

 

You're marrying the woman, not the family.   Why would you support anyone else ?  Is this something you do in home country ?

 

Cultural compatibly and the rest is just made up BS.  You're 2 people, you get along or you don't.  The rest is just BS excuses people use when things fail.   

 

Like all relationships, either works or doesn't, no need for excuses.  What makes you happy, what makes her happy, and if not like minded, it will fail.

 

Culture, language, other people have nothing to do with it.   The fantasy of marriage is a failed institution, and why so many fail.   

 

2 people finding out everything there is to know about each other and still liking each other .... 

 

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE 

 

My advice ... if never wanting to be divorced, never get married.  That piece of paper is a fantasy, and for many, a curse.

 

Brilliant response.

"Take the word 'Thai' out. It's a woman...No different than any other woman of the world. 

Culture, language, other people have nothing to do with it."

[kevozman1]

12 minutes ago, Bredbury Blue said:

 

Brilliant response.

"Take the word 'Thai' out. It's a woman...No different than any other woman of the world. 

Culture, language, other people have nothing to do with it."

 

That's just not true though. Women are different in various regions. Women are different in various generations within a region. As Thai women is the topic I will drop my two points with them: they must be attracted to you, and you must be able to deal with their emotional bombing (they don't like a pussy). If you can do that then you have a good chance of having a woman who will go above and beyond for you much more than most other women out there.

[FriscoKid]

Seven pages of anecdotal, subjective opinions about Thai women from men who’ve mostly only been with a handful. Suddenly, everyone’s an expert on the subject just because they’ve had a few encounters. Honestly, it’s exhausting.

[JimmyTobacco]

I think it's probably great, but you need to find yourself a good one, just like in every country or with every nationality. I do think one advice that stands out for me is that it is wise to stay away from the family. My girlfriend prefers to keep distance to the family without my asking it, so that's a good thing.

[MangoKorat]

8 hours ago, Expat68 said:

That is why Thai men get p----d off and leave their wives, Thai women always say Thai man no good (which I used to believe) but after years of living here I can understand why they bag off

Nah they don't, they just have a problem keeping it in their pants. They start their behaviour early on - look around, how many teenage single mothers are there?  As soon as a young lad gets a girl pregnant, he's off. I doubt there are any (accurate) official figures but if there were, Thailand must surely be the single mother capital of the world.

[MangoKorat]

18 hours ago, KhunLA said:

 

Only if you are an idiot, or that just happens to be your choice.  Nothing wrong with either, as long as you have the funds.

 

Just not for me, and I have the funds.  My funds are for me & mine, not theirs.

 

 

You've been brainwashed.  Nobody has a place, and everyone has the freedom to do as they please.  Although they do need to exercise that freedom.  

 

Whatever makes a woman happy, that's what I want her to do.  I know what makes happy, and that's never going to change, and pity the woman that thinks she can.

 

Anyone hanging out with me for more than a week or 2 will understand that, and they can decide to except it, or have fun elsewhere.  Probably why most never lasted 1 or 2 weeks 

I believe you've lived in Thailand for quite a while - shame you have learned nothing during that time.

[3NUMBAS]

Mates married with old women in 70s don’t look happy ,their wives are bloated and undesirable,they yearn from slim young women

[Expat68]

24 minutes ago, MangoKorat said:

Nah they don't, they just have a problem keeping it in their pants. They start their behaviour early on - look around, how many teenage single mothers are there?  As soon as a young lad gets a girl pregnant, he's off. I doubt there are any (accurate) official figures but if there were, Thailand must surely be the single mother capital of the world.

How many Thai men do you know personally?

[RichardColeman]

On 11/25/2024 at 4:27 AM, SoCal1990 said:

Marrying a Thai woman often sounds like a unique and appealing opportunity, but how can one know in advance what they’re really getting themselves into?

My wife is traditional Thai, someone that takes care of her man, but is not in servitude (if you know what I mean). She clean the house 3 times a day, washing everyday,  lays out my clothes for wearing in the day and better clothes when we go out, cuts my nails, does the garden, cooks thai food I enjoy when I want it, tells me when its hair cut time, great mother, great wife, well educated (ex-teacher), does her wifely duties (hehehe). Great wife and best partner I have ever had - i actually married her 10 years ago after being together 20 days. 

 

Problem for a thai wife that is 'unique' is it probably applies to marrying someone with a great body 30-40 years younger than you. And that is the problem, they are too much upkeep, expensive. A 'dolly' will not take care of you. Man across the road from me is 75, his boo 29 - you really think his unique GF sees a future with him ? 

[KhunLA]

2 hours ago, MangoKorat said:

I believe you've lived in Thailand for quite a while - shame you have learned nothing during that time.

Shame some folks still fall for the same BS, especially foreigners marrying a working gal/guy, or another non working gal/guy, who been married already, and or has kid (s).

 

No Thai would pay a sin sot in that case.  It's a dying tradition, as is the institution of marriage itself.   Why do the local do the village ceremony, and many avoid legal registration ?  

 

Been married 2X here, and the subject was never even brought up.  And the gals were from the village.  Nor with any of the gals I dated.

 

File sin sot with all the other silliness .. Thai culture ...

... only wear long pants & collared shirt

... never out without a shirt on

 

Or silly superstitions they don't believe in themselves that I've heard ..

... don't take photos of kids, as they lose years of life

... If child isn't talking at young age, rub their mouth with a frog, OK, that one is probably true  

 

Didn't you hear, Christians are all virgins before getting married ... white dress, so it must be so 

[Bredbury Blue]

On 11/27/2024 at 8:57 AM, kevozman1 said:

 

That's just not true though. Women are different in various regions. Women are different in various generations within a region. As Thai women is the topic I will drop my two points with them: they must be attracted to you, and you must be able to deal with their emotional bombing (they don't like a pussy). If you can do that then you have a good chance of having a woman who will go above and beyond for you much more than most other women out there.

Still single?

[Hummin]

 

Call me crazy, but still, 

 

Theres is a few cores I have kept throughout my life, and it is as follows

 

When somebody ask me if I'm happy, I say I will tell you in 10 years

 

When somebody asks me if I love them, I say I will tell them in 10 years. Of course I love them for the time being, or think it is love, but I can't truly tell them, before I have lived it, and given it time, so  in 10 years I think I will know. Many things can be related in retrospect, after you have dealt with the time and also what you actually remember, and how you feel about it. Also based on your other  experiences and happenings in your life. 

 

There is only one regret I have, who I  let go, but I was in my prime, and made good money, travelled a lot, and also almost risked my life on a daily basis both work and my other activities. This girl was studying hard, all her friends wanted some kind of doctor, lawyers or any high status men who had a solid base, and I was the reckless one, who just played with my life. I'm not really sure why she wanted me, but she was younger, and I gave her a lot of support. Not financially, but when I was there, I had time to be there 100%, and also helped her with her studies, cleaning, making food, shopping, and everything I could to make her life easier when I was home. But it came to a point where I doubted myself, comparing myself to her friends' partners, and also I felt I would hold her back in life,  with my lifestyle. I finally let her go since she wanted to study abroad, and I could not really cope with that, and understood for both of us, we needed to end it, even though we continued to keep in contact for another two years, and I really do not think she had anyone else, and I did not either. End of story, she is now a professor, 3 kids, wrote a few books, married to a lawyer, and got all her things under control as far as I know. I'm married to a Thai farmer, but still had a good life, with a few ups and downs, so I shouldn't really complain, and I still think I did the right thing. I would never feel I was in the right company with all her colleagues and friends. 

Do I feel I should have done something different today, no, and I don't regret anything, and I just cherish the experience, which made me believe in something called love, and being a couple. I will always chase those feelings I shared with her, and if I do not have it, I will miss it, and I will find it again. I'm willing to make the effort to experience it again and again, no matter what happens in my life, I will not give up chasing the feeling of being 2.

 

 

[G_Money]

Overrated 

[Hummin]

16 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Oxford anthropologist J.D. Unwin studied 86 societies and civilizations to see why some collapse and others don't. What did he find? That sexual debauchery leads to the collapse of a civilization within 3 generations.

 

Without prenuptial chastity, people usually regress into the lowest "dead" category as they become interested only in their own wants and needs. They become slaves to their appetites.

 

Cultures that have embraced total sexual freedom collapse within three generations. They might limp along for a time, powered by some momentum, but eventually, they are conquered or taken over by another culture.

 

Lost morality might be one of them, but still, there are som key evidences that is essential for collaped cultures. 

 

From the collapse of ancient Rome to the fall of the Mayan empire, evidence from archaeology suggests that five factors have almost invariably been involved in the loss of civilizations: uncontrollable population movements; new epidemic diseases; failing states leading to increased warfare; collapse of trade routes

 

 

https://www.weforum.org/stories/2016/03/why-do-civilizations-collapse/

[Jerry777]

On 11/25/2024 at 8:07 PM, Moti24 said:

Marrying a Thai Wife: Overrated or Underrated?

 

I would have thought that was illegal; she'd need to get divorced first.

Oh My isn't hat true?

[SAFETY FIRST]

On 11/25/2024 at 8:58 AM, SAFETY FIRST said:

Nothing to do with ratings.

 

I'd say most of the guys marry in Thailand for convenience. 

 

Less money in the bank required etc. 

 

You'll find lots of guys here on a pension so it's all about the bottom line, affordability. 

 

I came to Thailand for work in my 30's, met a 17yo Thai girl (Mew). Mew never had children, we had 2 children together, I never married, Mew wanted to get married, I had no need, I didn't know Thai marriage law etc. didn't need a marriage visa for residency.

 

We grew apart over the many years, we still talk occasionally but never see each other any more, I still see my children.

 

I met a few girls over the last few years, I now have a gf in her 20's, she's sweet, soft, cute and she likes me. I spoil her to death, why not she's exactly what I want, it works for me. 

 

Glad I never married. 

 

 

[Expat68]

4 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I came to Thailand for work in my 30's, met a 17yo Thai girl (Mew). Mew never had children, we had 2 children together, I never married, Mew wanted to get married, I had no need, I didn't know Thai marriage law etc. didn't need a marriage visa for residency.

 

We grew apart over the many years, we still talk occasionally but never see each other any more, I still see my children.

 

I met a few girls over the last few years, I now have a gf in her 20's, she's sweet, soft, cute and she likes me. I spoil her to death, why not she's exactly what I want, it works for me. 

 

Glad I never married. 

 

 

We are all different. What works for one couple doesn't work for another 

[GinBoy2]

On 12/2/2024 at 7:25 PM, Expat68 said:

We are all different. What works for one couple doesn't work for another 

Well ain't that the truth.

 

Humans aren't a one size fits all species.

 

I think a lot, if not most all on here have been previously married in their home country.

 

People can drift apart, that happens and hopefully not too acrimoniously.

 

I met my Thai wife at work in Singapore. I'd already drifted apart from my wife, too much travel for work, and i delved into the workplace affair. Not too honorable I'll admit, but it happens.

 

We aren't far apart in age, and she had grown up as a teenager in Chicago, so we shared a lot of cultural things, maybe with the exception of baseball.

She's a diehard Cubs fan whereas I'm a Giants fan

 

So on to marriage. 

 

We were OK in Thailand until our son went to college in Chicago and told us he wasn't coming home.

 

So, only only reason we actually got legally married was to get MrsG a green card

 

So I don't think the OP's premise is really valid. Marriage in all cultures is an up and down thing.

 

Maybe cross cultures is more difficult, but in my case Mrs G was a bit of a hybrid so I've never really thought about it

[KhunLA]

To the title ...

... wife #1  two year

... #2, one year (both Yanks)

... #3, technically, < 1 year (Thai)

... #4 18+ years (Thai) and counting

... nuff said 

[GinBoy2]

6 hours ago, KhunLA said:

To the title ...

... wife #1  two year

... #2, one year (both Yanks)

... #3, technically, < 1 year (Thai)

... #4 18+ years (Thai) and counting

... nuff said 

You're a braver man than me to have ended up with four!