What do they do to show you they care about you around Thai special holidays?  That should be a fairly good guide.

 

The more effort they make to make you feel included in their celebrations, the more effort you should go to to include them in yours.

17 minutes ago, Hawaiian said:

Not familiar with Dickens' "A Christmas Carol"?

No!

As it has the word ""Christmas" in it!

8 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

No!

As it has the word ""Christmas" in it!

Would you refuse a million dollar check if it was  clearly marked as a Christmas gift?

3 minutes ago, Hawaiian said:

Would you refuse a million dollar check if it was  clearly marked as a Christmas gift?

Stupid post!

I give "gifts" at New Year's and occasionally at Songkran mainly to delivery drivers. I avoid tipping at each delivery because it creates an ongoing expectation that they will be tipped every time, and if you don't tip the next time there's often this resentment/disappointment vibe which I prefer to avoid.

18 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

What do they do to show you they care about you around Thai special holidays?  That should be a fairly good guide.

 

The more effort they make to make you feel included in their celebrations, the more effort you should go to to include them in yours.

 

I don't want to be included in their celebrations. Mostly they are for co-workers, friends, and extended family.

 

I think it's well to remind Thais that farang also have celebrations, including benevolent that encourage giving not only to friends and family but to those less fortunate and to those who are merely appreciated in some way. The act of giving is sufficient reward in itself, but it does build good will. We can all use that, intangible or not.

 

10 minutes ago, BigStar said:

I don't want to be included in their celebrations. Mostly they are for co-workers, friends, and extended family.

 

I think it's well to remind Thais that farang also have celebrations, including benevolent that encourage giving not only to friends and family but to those less fortunate and to those who are merely appreciated in some way. The act of giving is sufficient reward in itself, but it does build good will. We can all use that, intangible or not.

 

Why are you happy with a one-sided relationship with someone who doesn't value you the way you value them?

5 hours ago, Jingthing said:

This is a bit of a concern with the doorman.

He has an odd personality.

I think if I tip he will start to do silly trivial things for me like run to the elevator to hold the door, etc.

I don't really want extra fluff attention.

I just want him to maybe be in my corner more if a real issue comes up. 

 

Don't tip immediately after service.

 

I tip the condo maids randomly every once in a while, maybe once a month, as I run into them on my way out of the condo. I just say, "tip for you!" and hand over a 100 baht note, for which I receive a gracious thank you and wai. No particular reason, I just think they work hard at their miserable jobs and have been around for years and been very honest and are of course quite poor. Why not brighten up their day a little at trivial cost to me?

 

Now they all love me and I get smiles all the time, notified if they see a package has come in, get my water bottle refilled by the time I get back from my beach walk, etc. Kinda nice. If I needed help with something or the other (NOT that), I know any of them would try to help.  

 

Just now, BangkokReady said:

 

Why are you happy with a one-sided relationship with someone who doesn't value you the way you value them?

 

I'm happy with me, and my happiness doesn't depend on others and their customs. It's part of overall self-confidence and a sense of noblesse oblige. I am large, I contain multitudes, wrote Walt Whitman.

38 minutes ago, Hawaiian said:

Would you refuse a million dollar check if it was  clearly marked as a Christmas gift?

From Nigeria?

6 hours ago, Jingthing said:

I just want him to maybe be in my corner more if a real issue comes up. 

 

Enquiring minds wonder what you've got your mitts into that would cause "real issues" that would require someone "in your corner."  It sounds like you need a good criminal defense attorney, not a doorman.  

30 minutes ago, Oliver Holzerfilled said:

 

Enquiring minds wonder what you've got your mitts into that would cause "real issues" that would require someone "in your corner."  It sounds like you need a good criminal defense attorney, not a doorman.  

Your post says more about you than me.

Hey @Jingthing do us all a favor and don’t be tipping service workers otherwise they will be begging the rest of us for cash.

3 minutes ago, khunJam said:

Hey @Jingthing do us all a favor and don’t be tipping service workers otherwise they will be begging the rest of us for cash.

I get that. I tip Thai style at restaurants and food deliveries, etc. Are you saying Thai people don't tip condo building staff? 

1 minute ago, Jingthing said:

 . Are you saying Thai people don't tip condo building staff? 

 

 

 

Many don't  -  some do.

 

 

Not unlike Farangs really.

2 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

I get that. I tip Thai style at restaurants and food deliveries, etc. Are you saying Thai people don't tip condo building staff? 

Tip Thai style? They must be tipping where you are. My girlfriend adamantly opposes me tipping and I never seen Thais tip here in Chiang Mai. But I must admit that I do tip the delivery drivers every time when she’s not around.

If a customer doesn't tip someone does that mean their service will less than a customer who does.  ?

 

They receive a salary and their job description is to serve the customer.  

Just now, hotandsticky said:

 

 

 

Many don't  -  some do.

 

 

Not unlike Farangs really.

That's what I reckoned.

I don't see this as required. 

I feel most strongly that the package person is working insane hours and my order volume is unusually high. 

I'm conflicted about the doorman. Like I said, he's odd and I think a good chance of backfiring into the kind of attention I would find annoying.

1 minute ago, khunJam said:

Tip Thai style? They must be tipping where you are. My girlfriend adamantly opposes me tipping and I never seen Thais tip here in Chiang Mai. But I must admit that I do tip the delivery drivers every time when she’s not around.

As opposed to American style which is based on a high percentage of the bill. 

2 minutes ago, steven100 said:

If a customer doesn't tip someone does that mean their service will less than a customer who does.  ?

 

They receive a salary and their job description is to serve the customer.  

Probably so, depending on the tip. That doesn't mean substandard service for non-tippers, but possibly something extra for those that do. No guarantees.

Our condo (we, the residents) pay for a New Year party for all staff, (about THB30k). We have about 20 security and cleaning (contract) staff. On top of that residents give gifts to be raffled at the party, (now held on the premises, so they can spend more on the party, rather than at a restaurant). I used to tip whoever delivers my mail, grocery shopping to my room, but on top of the money to the Tops delivery guy, it was getting out of hand. I started during covid, but now do not tip, as I'm usually not in. It's a personal thing. I (as a member of the committee) have initiated and authorised refurbishment of the staff canteen, changing rooms etc. They know they are appreciated, and they know who instigated it.

 

In-house technicians who come to fix a multitude of things, (including changing a light bulb), are employed by the Juristic, and they get a tip of about 200 to 1000 depending on what they've done. Our Juristic staff also get a 1 month bonus, and their salaries are reviewed every year, with an average increase of 5% this year. 

2 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

As opposed to American style which is based on a high percentage of the bill. 

Why not consider tipping anonymously? It would cut out any future obligations that might be laid on you by the recipients.

2 minutes ago, samtam said:

Our condo (we, the residents) pay for a New Year party for all staff, (about THB30k). We have about 20 security and cleaning (contract) staff. On top of that residents give gifts to be raffled at the party, (now held on the premises, so they can spend more on the party, rather than at a restaurant). I used to tip whoever delivers my mail, grocery shopping to my room, but on top of the money to the Tops delivery guy, it was getting out of hand. I started during covid, but now do not tip, as I'm usually not in. It's a personal thing. I (as a member of the committee) have initiated and authorised refurbishment of the staff canteen, changing rooms etc. They know they are appreciated, and they know who instigated it.

 

Technicians who come to fix a multitude of things, (including changing a light bulb), are employed by the Juristic, and they get a tip of about 200 to 1000 depending on what they've done. 

Yeah much of this kind of thing is situational. 

There is also the possibly slim chance that some people could even be insulted by getting tipped.

1 hour ago, BigStar said:

I'm happy with me, and my happiness doesn't depend on others and their customs. It's part of overall self-confidence and a sense of noblesse oblige. I am large, I contain multitudes, wrote Walt Whitman.

 

I'm sure you're very happy and confident (although I'm not sure how that relates to this), I'm just not sure why you would want to be kind to someone who is not kind to you, to think of them when you know they do not think of you.  You're literally saying that you want to treat someone on your special occasion who you know does not treat you on their special occasion.

3 minutes ago, samtam said:

They know they are appreciated, and they know who instigated it.

 

Technicians who come to fix a multitude of things, (including changing a light bulb), are employed by the Juristic, and they get a tip of about 200 to 1000 depending on what they've done. 

 

Wise to encourage good people to stick around. Plenty of jobs out there in their line of work.

14 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

You're literally saying that you want to treat someone on your special occasion who you know does not treat you on their special occasion.

 

Yep, I literally am, and have said so a couple of times already. Will many more times be needed? You're going around in circles.

 

14 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I'm just not sure why you would want to be kind to someone who is not kind to you

 

But they aren't unkind to me. You have a basic misunderstanding.

 

14 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

to think of them when you know they do not think of you. 

 

I don't care if they think of me, as noted. But they certainly do when I give them a gift.

 

A gift given in a spirit of benevolence and generosity doesn't need reciprocation. The act of giving is its own reward. You're not going to be able to understand this basic concept foreign to you, so I guess we've reached the end of the discussion.

 

 

6 minutes ago, BigStar said:

But they aren't unkind to me. You have a basic misunderstanding.

 

I never said they were unkind.  I said they weren't kind to you even though you are kind to them, which is where the surprise appears.  It just seems a little one-sided.

 

If you're happy giving a gift to someone who never gives one to you, then that's fine.  Of course, giving is its own reward, but you're kind of showing that they mean more to you than you mean to them, which seems a little odd.

 

6 minutes ago, BigStar said:

I don't care if they think of me, as noted. But they certainly do when I give them a gift.

 

I mean, yeah, they think of you when you give them a gift, but when it's time for them to give gifts, they don't think of you.  If you're happy with this kind of one-sided relationship, good for you.  I think a lot of people wouldn't be too keen on it though.

26 minutes ago, khunJam said:

Why not consider tipping anonymously? It would cut out any future obligations that might be laid on you by the recipients.

 

Where have I heard this before...?

 

 

39 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I never said they were unkind.  I said they weren't kind to you even though you are kind to them, which is where the surprise appears.  It just seems a little one-sided.

 

Saying they weren't kind when you think they should be is just saying they're unkind. Enough with trying to split a hair.

 

39 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

you're kind of showing that they mean more to you than you mean to them, which seems a little odd.

 

I'm not "showing" all this meaning that's so important for you and that you need reciprocated--though even I did, I wouldn't care (odd to you, yes). What I'm showing is merely a little kindness, and I feel good when I do so. I don't overthink it, actually.

 

39 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

when it's time for them to give gifts, they don't think of you.

 

And for the 4th? time, I don't expect them too. They don't have a Christmas giving tradition and don't give gifts to acquaintances unless there's a self-interested motive--which I don't need. Not the culture, period. On the other had, I've been the recipient of countless spontaneous, unsolicited little acts of kindness from Thais over the decades. Pay it forward.  

 

Are you done yet? As noted, it's too "odd" for you--and that's your problem, not mine. But whenever I ask a poster that, he has to make sure that he's not done.

 

10 hours ago, Jingthing said:

Putting in a card in a great idea. Just handing over naked cash is kind of crass 

 

 

and so american