Dating 22-Year-Old Thai Bubble Tea Girl - She Just Asked for 30K/Month – Am I Being Played?

[123Stodg]

Been on here a while now and never thought I’d be making this kind of post, but life has a way of surprising you I guess.

 

So here’s the story. I’ve been in Bangkok for a while, had a few girlfriends in the past, working for an overseas company now, just keeping my head down. I’m not one of those bar scene guys, never really got much into all that.

 

A few months ago I met this amazing girl who works at one of those little bubble tea kiosks in a Skytrain station. She’s in her early 20s, very sweet, doesn’t speak much English and my Thai isn’t great either, but somehow we click.
 

I used to stop by and buy tea from her a few times a week, then eventually we started chatting more and I asked for her LINE. Things moved slowly at first, but now we’ve been officially dating for a few months. And honestly, I’ve been having the time of my life. No drama, no stress, she’s affectionate, fun, and makes me feel 20 years younger. We go out, we laugh, we do things together, and she never nags or causes problems.

 

I’ve read all the horror stories, but this feels a bit special and different in some way. The intimacy is amazing too, which I didn’t expect with the language and age gap, but it just works.

 

Now here’s where I’m looking for a bit of perspective. She recently brought up the idea of me helping her send money to her family. She mentioned around 30,000 baht a month would really help them out. I know that’s about double what she earns, but she didn’t demand it or push hard, just brought it up gently. She’s still working full time at the kiosk and hasn’t asked me for anything else.

 

I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. I always used to read posts on here and think “nah, I’d never be that guy”, but now here I am. And I’m honestly not sure how to feel about it. The truth is, I can afford it, I don’t really care about the money, and I am genuinely enjoying my time with her. She’s made my life feel lighter, happier. I don’t get any sense that I’m really being used, but I also know how brutally honest some of you can be, so I figured I’d throw it out there for some feedback.

 

If both of us are happy and it’s working, is there actually anything wrong with it? As I said, I don’t mind giving her the money. She makes me happy. So I’m thinking, why not. 

[Patong2021]

Lovely story. It would have had more bite if you had provided more details, like how she trims your  toenails or plucks your back hair.  In your next version, recycle the protagonist as a young man who makes kebabs. You can then discuss  your struggles in the competitive kebab world. Instead of 30,000, he only will need 10,000 for his ailing grandmother who raised him. 

 

Maybe some of the more gullible readers will  accept your current  story and will comment and they can share their wisdom with you.

[CHdiver]

Sorry to burst your (tea) bubble, but you are her sugar daddy. But as you think 30k is ok, go for it. But I would not invest any feelings and treat her as that wat she is, a rental.

 

Good luck and enjoy your time. 

[Cameroni]

42 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

She recently brought up the idea of me helping her send money to her family. She mentioned around 30,000 baht a month would really help them out. I know that’s about double what she earns, but she didn’t demand it or push hard, just brought it up gently. She’s still working full time at the kiosk and hasn’t asked me for anything else.

 

Ah yes, you're being played. Obviously.

 

30000 is way too high, 8 to 10K would be more reasonable.

 

You don't get a sense of being used, because you've put her on a pedestal and she can do no wrong now. If she cut your hands off, you'd say you didn't really feel a thing and she was just tring to help you save money on gloves.

[norsurin]

30.000 is insane.Doesnt matter if u can afford it She will ask for more and more for sure.Anyway ur decisions what u do 

[blaze master]

25 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

, but somehow we click.

 

Stop it. You'll click for 30k a month.

[simon43]

OP, I had you blocked from some time ago.  I decided to read your post in this thread and now I understand why I blocked you 🙂

[Schoggibueb]

Of course - 30k per month for her family is nice.

 

For how long? She has a big family. Hospital cost might be the next needed help. And so on etc.pp.

Above the expression "sugardaddy" was used. I guess thats the way it is.

 

Enjoy and pay. But don't expect "real love" in case you can't bring up the 30k per month anymore.

"You get what you pay for".

 

 

[norsurin]

I think ur not the only one she talks with at her work.I meet a similar girl but she was older.First she asked 10.000 baht a month.It raised up to 70.000 and she also wanted a Honda yazz.I said goodbye and good luck to her.

[BangkokReady]

Sounds like bullsh*t

[TedG]

You are being played.  Don't do it. 

[NorthernRyland]

Why stop at 30k? She's selling a very popular BUBBLE TEA drink. I'd say this one is worth more in the 40-50k range.

[Celsius]

52 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

, I’d never be that guy”, but now here I am.

 

Yes. You are that guy. You are an idiot.

 

And lets be honest..... how much did you pay before the money requests came about. New phone, new bag, expensive dinners....

 

Just to be clear..... a lot of young women in Thailand can be affectionate and make you feel special for 30k a month. 

 

Even the next guy who offers more.

[persimmon]

It`s just an opening request - negotiate , it`s common in Thailand . 30 k sounds a lot , but if you have $$$$ and are happy to pay, why not ?

I think many retirees splash a lot more on their Thai life than 30 k / month .....buying land , building the house , buying the car etc etc.

[tjintx]

I'll be your friend for 20k a month only, ok?

[blaze master]

1 minute ago, persimmon said:

buying land , building the house , buying the car etc etc.

 

Don't buy the cow....

 

 

Rent

 

[still kicking]

I just don't get it, how do people fall into those traps I have been married to a Thai for 22 years, she never asks me for any mefor any money 

[roo860]

1 hour ago, 123Stodg said:

Been on here a while now and never thought I’d be making this kind of post, but life has a way of surprising you I guess.

 

So here’s the story. I’ve been in Bangkok for a while, had a few girlfriends in the past, working for an overseas company now, just keeping my head down. I’m not one of those bar scene guys, never really got much into all that.

 

A few months ago I met this amazing girl who works at one of those little bubble tea kiosks in a Skytrain station. She’s in her early 20s, very sweet, doesn’t speak much English and my Thai isn’t great either, but somehow we click.
 

I used to stop by and buy tea from her a few times a week, then eventually we started chatting more and I asked for her LINE. Things moved slowly at first, but now we’ve been officially dating for a few months. And honestly, I’ve been having the time of my life. No drama, no stress, she’s affectionate, fun, and makes me feel 20 years younger. We go out, we laugh, we do things together, and she never nags or causes problems.

 

I’ve read all the horror stories, but this feels a bit special and different in some way. The intimacy is amazing too, which I didn’t expect with the language and age gap, but it just works.

 

Now here’s where I’m looking for a bit of perspective. She recently brought up the idea of me helping her send money to her family. She mentioned around 30,000 baht a month would really help them out. I know that’s about double what she earns, but she didn’t demand it or push hard, just brought it up gently. She’s still working full time at the kiosk and hasn’t asked me for anything else.

 

I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. I always used to read posts on here and think “nah, I’d never be that guy”, but now here I am. And I’m honestly not sure how to feel about it. The truth is, I can afford it, I don’t really care about the money, and I am genuinely enjoying my time with her. She’s made my life feel lighter, happier. I don’t get any sense that I’m really being used, but I also know how brutally honest some of you can be, so I figured I’d throw it out there for some feedback.

 

If both of us are happy and it’s working, is there actually anything wrong with it? As I said, I don’t mind giving her the money. She makes me happy. So I’m thinking, why not. 

[FriscoKid]

You didn’t get played, mate, you got upgraded. From customer to sponsor, with unlimited bubble tea refills on the house. Still, hard to call it a proper hoodwinking when you’re smiling and getting a reach-around during the monthly bank transfers, right?

[FriscoKid]

11 minutes ago, still kicking said:

I just don't get it, how do people fall into those traps I have been married to a Thai for 22 years, she never asks me for any mefor any money 

Handsome man!

[Cameroni]

14 minutes ago, still kicking said:

I just don't get it, how do people fall into those traps I have been married to a Thai for 22 years, she never asks me for any mefor any money 

 

Because you give her 30,000 Baht allowance every month?

[pub2022]

If you do not care about the money and feel very happy with her then why not?

Just be prepared it is going to be a relationship based on giving money to her. If you turn off the tap it's  probably over.

Btw you did not mention the age gap? That's important!

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, 123Stodg said:

Been on here a while now and never thought I’d be making this kind of post, but life has a way of surprising you I guess.

 

So here’s the story. I’ve been in Bangkok for a while, had a few girlfriends in the past, working for an overseas company now, just keeping my head down. I’m not one of those bar scene guys, never really got much into all that.

 

A few months ago I met this amazing girl who works at one of those little bubble tea kiosks in a Skytrain station. She’s in her early 20s, very sweet, doesn’t speak much English and my Thai isn’t great either, but somehow we click.
 

I used to stop by and buy tea from her a few times a week, then eventually we started chatting more and I asked for her LINE. Things moved slowly at first, but now we’ve been officially dating for a few months. And honestly, I’ve been having the time of my life. No drama, no stress, she’s affectionate, fun, and makes me feel 20 years younger. We go out, we laugh, we do things together, and she never nags or causes problems.

 

I’ve read all the horror stories, but this feels a bit special and different in some way. The intimacy is amazing too, which I didn’t expect with the language and age gap, but it just works.

 

Now here’s where I’m looking for a bit of perspective. She recently brought up the idea of me helping her send money to her family. She mentioned around 30,000 baht a month would really help them out. I know that’s about double what she earns, but she didn’t demand it or push hard, just brought it up gently. She’s still working full time at the kiosk and hasn’t asked me for anything else.

 

I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. I always used to read posts on here and think “nah, I’d never be that guy”, but now here I am. And I’m honestly not sure how to feel about it. The truth is, I can afford it, I don’t really care about the money, and I am genuinely enjoying my time with her. She’s made my life feel lighter, happier. I don’t get any sense that I’m really being used, but I also know how brutally honest some of you can be, so I figured I’d throw it out there for some feedback.

 

If both of us are happy and it’s working, is there actually anything wrong with it? As I said, I don’t mind giving her the money. She makes me happy. So I’m thinking, why not. 

If you are 20 or more years older than her it's totally appropriate for her to be asking this, and not unexpected at all. This is in line with what a lot of guys are paying for young hot women, if she's ugly it would be a different story, but I assume she's not or you wouldn't have approached her to begin with! If you can afford it, I say go for it. Nothing is free in this world neither in the East nor in the West. One way or the other you typically pay either on the front end or the back end. 

[still kicking]

4 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Because you give her 30,000 Baht allowance every month?

 

4 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Because you give her 30,000 Baht allowance every month?

 

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Because you give her 30,000 Baht allowance every month?

Never, she pays for me

[swissie]

41 minutes ago, persimmon said:

It`s just an opening request - negotiate , it`s common in Thailand . 30 k sounds a lot , but if you have $$$$ and are happy to pay, why not ?

I think many retirees splash a lot more on their Thai life than 30 k / month .....buying land , building the house , buying the car etc etc.

It always starts with "I love you maak maak". The investments in the sticks come afterwards. Anything new?

[Cameroni]

27 minutes ago, pub2022 said:

If you do not care about the money and feel very happy with her then why not?

Just be prepared it is going to be a relationship based on giving money to her. If you turn off the tap it's  probably over.

 

 

Normally yes, but this girl is special and different.

 

The intimacy is amazing too.

 

Did I mention she is amazing?

 

She will stay the course, she does not even care about the money. She brought it up gently and does not push for it.

 

She has not asked for anything else either. Only the 30000 Baht.

 

She is very different. And definitely not using the OP. At all.

 

Because she is special. And amazing.

[lamyai3]

2 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

She mentioned around 30,000 baht a month would really help them out.

 

It's an impressive opening gambit... 

[gejohesch]

2 hours ago, CHdiver said:

Sorry to burst your (tea) bubble, but you are her sugar daddy. But as you think 30k is ok, go for it. But I would not invest any feelings and treat her as that wat she is, a rental.

 

Good luck and enjoy your time. 

This sounds like good advice. With time, let's say give it at least a few months, you will start seeing if this is a nice, decent relationship or not. Until then, indeed, do not get too much into it sentimentally speaking. I know it's a difficult advice to take, as an older man tends to go weak in his heart when a younger woman grapples him up. I have been there a few times myself, and for sure Thai girls / women (many of them) know how to make your heart feel sweet but the truth is : it gets weak as well.

 

As for the amount you are willing to give her, be careful also. I would tell her you give her 15 or 20 k's, at most. That would already be a huge amount of help, for sure, and at the same time you will start drawing lines in the sand between you and her, in a non brutal way. However sweet and genuine she might be, it's important I think that she gets the message: you are not falling in for her unconditionally.

[Dan O]

i think its a bs story just for kicks but I'll throw out some comments.

 

She maybe makes 9 to 10k salary a month selling bubble tea. If she has family in the country they most likely already own the land and house so have no house payment or heavy expenses. Food is basically it and maybe gas for the car and electric. They've been living off something in the past and made it this far in life without your help. 

 

It doesnt cost more than about 10k to15k all in for food, gas and electric and thats generous so your 30k is a major upgrade and thats just to start. at some point you'll be giving her money too. Your most likey being played which is pretty normal in this scenario and this is just the beginning. 

 

if your not seeing her every day then she probably has someone else on the hook too or will soon. If its a true story tell her you cant right now but maybe in the future can help. she how she reacts and if things stay the same or slow down for some "reason".  Then go hang out with her and her friends and also meet the family and see for yourself their situation and how they live. By that time you'll know how serious and honest she is. 

 

I will add that its not uncommon for many Thai's to happily  trade future financial security in place of love. its your money in the end so do what you want.

[it is what it is]

 

absolutely not being played, sounds like a bargain, i mean she obviously loves you dearly, not to mention she thinks you're the most hansomest, funniest, cutest, most amusing farang she's dated this week... suggest you offer 45k to keep hold of her.