Where’s All the Dodgy Low-Budget Tourists Gone?

[Lewie London]

Oi, what’s all this then, mates? I’m down Sukhumvit last night expecting the usual parade of sweaty Indian sex-tourists, dodgy Thai blokes whisperin’ “ping pong show boss” every three steps, some Nigerian geezer tryin’ to flog me a suitcase of black dollars or lynch my bank account with a crypto scheme that’s basically a bin on fire. And what do I get? Nothin’. Ghost town. Like someone called last orders on sin itself. Whole place feels like Nana Plaza’s been raided by the Ghostbusters. Where’s all the filth gone? It’s spooky, mate. You could hear a cockroach having a scratch.

 

And don’t come at me with that “it’s the low, rainy season, bruv” ballocks. I’ve been terrorisin’ Sukhumvit since before most of these TikTok muppets knew how to tie their shoelaces. Rainy season, hot season, nuclear winter, floods, protests, don’t matter, Sukhumvit’s always been buzzing like a dodgy neon sign outside a short-time hotel. A-Rab lads doing 5 geezers on one slapper, old blokes from Hull looking for love with a pension and a dodgy knee, Russians wearin’ trackies tucked into their socks. Rain don’t stop that lot. Monsoon season’s usually just free aircon for the street drinkers. Now? Tumbleweeds, bruv. Even the tailor shops are sittin’ there like “Boss, where you go?”

 

I’m outside Soi 11, scratchin’ me head, thinkin’, where’s all the tight-arse Aussie blokes in vests screaming about rugby? Where’s the Americans, arguing about whether Trump smells like your Nan's wizard sleeves or expired orange spray paint? Where’s that weird Scandinavian bloke that’s always got only one flip-flop and a Chang in each hand? Nothing. Nana’s emptier than me biscuit tin after a family visit. Bangkok’s supposed to be chaos in a Hawaiian shirt, now it’s like someone put the whole city on airplane mode.

 

Nah, I’m not buyin’ it. I ain’t seen it this dead since Covid lockdown where even the soi dogs looked depressed. And the excuses don’t wash. This ain’t tourist season we’re talking about, this is lifestyle tourism. These lads don’t come for temples, they come all year round for cheap whiskey, bad decisions, and mysterious crotch rashes. Now? Gone. Not even one desperate geezer trying to sell me dodgy Ray-Bans made from melted Coke bottles.

 

So what is it then? Global recession? CIA poisoned the street food? Did someone finally tell ‘em about Bangkok Belly and now they’ve all bottled it? Feels off, mate. Streets this quiet give me the fear. Feels like we’re due for something stupid to kick off, and I’m not talkin’ about Khao San Road lads on mushrooms, I mean proper chaos.

 

Bangkok without bottom of the barrel tourists is like a curry without spice, still technically a meal, but what’s the point?

[transam]

1 minute ago, Lewie London said:

Oi, what’s all this then, mates? I’m down Sukhumvit last night expecting the usual parade of sweaty Indian sex-tourists, dodgy Thai blokes whisperin’ “ping pong show boss” every three steps, some Nigerian geezer tryin’ to flog me a suitcase of black dollars or lynch my bank account with a crypto scheme that’s basically a bin on fire. And what do I get? Nothin’. Ghost town. Like someone called last orders on sin itself. Whole place feels like Nana Plaza’s been raided by the Ghostbusters. Where’s all the filth gone? It’s spooky, mate. You could hear a cockroach having a scratch.

 

And don’t come at me with that “it’s the low, rainy season, bruv” ballocks. I’ve been terrorisin’ Sukhumvit since before most of these TikTok muppets knew how to tie their shoelaces. Rainy season, hot season, nuclear winter, floods, protests, don’t matter, Sukhumvit’s always been buzzing like a dodgy neon sign outside a short-time hotel. A-Rab lads doing 5 geezers on one slapper, old blokes from Hull looking for love with a pension and a dodgy knee, Russians wearin’ trackies tucked into their socks. Rain don’t stop that lot. Monsoon season’s usually just free aircon for the street drinkers. Now? Tumbleweeds, bruv. Even the tailor shops are sittin’ there like “Boss, where you go?”

 

I’m outside Soi 11, scratchin’ me head, thinkin’, where’s all the tight-arse Aussie blokes in vests screaming about rugby? Where’s the Americans, arguing about whether Trump smells like your Nan's wizard sleeves or orange spray paint ? Where’s that weird Scandinavian bloke that’s always got only one flip-flop and a Chang in each hand? Nothing. Nana’s emptier than me biscuit tin after a family visit. Bangkok’s supposed to be chaos in a Hawaiian shirt, now it’s like someone put the whole city on airplane mode.

 

Nah, I’m not buyin’ it. I ain’t seen it this dead since Covid lockdown where even the soi dogs looked depressed. And the excuses don’t wash. This ain’t tourist season we’re talking about, this is lifestyle tourism. These lads don’t come for temples, they come all year round for cheap whiskey, bad decisions, and mysterious crotch rashes. Now? Gone. Not even one desperate geezer trying to sell me dodgy Ray-Bans made from melted Coke bottles.

 

So what is it then? Global recession? CIA poisoned the street food? Did someone finally tell ‘em about Bangkok Belly and now they’ve all bottled it? Feels off, mate. Streets this quiet give me the fear. Feels like we’re due for something stupid to kick off, and I’m not talkin’ about Khao San Road lads on mushrooms, I mean proper chaos.

 

Bangkok without bottom of the barrel tourists is like a curry without spice, still technically a meal, but what’s the point?

Probably still figuring out how to do the new online entry thingy...........

[hotsun]

Yeah low season is the best time to come. If it were low season year round then i would consider staying 

[FriscoKid]

48 minutes ago, transam said:

Probably still figuring out how to do the new online entry thingy...........

I just flew back in 2 weeks ago. Did that online tosh. I filled in Bob Smith and Pasty Cornish for every question on the form. I put 86-47 as my passport number. Worked like a champ. I blazed through immigration. No questions asked. Didn't even have to show the QR code. Wais all around. Full VIP treatment. 

[Gandtee]

58 minutes ago, Lewie London said:

Oi, what’s all this then, mates? I’m down Sukhumvit last night expecting the usual parade of sweaty Indian sex-tourists, dodgy Thai blokes whisperin’ “ping pong show boss” every three steps, some Nigerian geezer tryin’ to flog me a suitcase of black dollars or lynch my bank account with a crypto scheme that’s basically a bin on fire. And what do I get? Nothin’. Ghost town. Like someone called last orders on sin itself. Whole place feels like Nana Plaza’s been raided by the Ghostbusters. Where’s all the filth gone? It’s spooky, mate. You could hear a cockroach having a scratch.

 

And don’t come at me with that “it’s the low, rainy season, bruv” ballocks. I’ve been terrorisin’ Sukhumvit since before most of these TikTok muppets knew how to tie their shoelaces. Rainy season, hot season, nuclear winter, floods, protests, don’t matter, Sukhumvit’s always been buzzing like a dodgy neon sign outside a short-time hotel. A-Rab lads doing 5 geezers on one slapper, old blokes from Hull looking for love with a pension and a dodgy knee, Russians wearin’ trackies tucked into their socks. Rain don’t stop that lot. Monsoon season’s usually just free aircon for the street drinkers. Now? Tumbleweeds, bruv. Even the tailor shops are sittin’ there like “Boss, where you go?”

 

I’m outside Soi 11, scratchin’ me head, thinkin’, where’s all the tight-arse Aussie blokes in vests screaming about rugby? Where’s the Americans, arguing about whether Trump smells like your Nan's wizard sleeves or expired orange spray paint? Where’s that weird Scandinavian bloke that’s always got only one flip-flop and a Chang in each hand? Nothing. Nana’s emptier than me biscuit tin after a family visit. Bangkok’s supposed to be chaos in a Hawaiian shirt, now it’s like someone put the whole city on airplane mode.

 

Nah, I’m not buyin’ it. I ain’t seen it this dead since Covid lockdown where even the soi dogs looked depressed. And the excuses don’t wash. This ain’t tourist season we’re talking about, this is lifestyle tourism. These lads don’t come for temples, they come all year round for cheap whiskey, bad decisions, and mysterious crotch rashes. Now? Gone. Not even one desperate geezer trying to sell me dodgy Ray-Bans made from melted Coke bottles.

 

So what is it then? Global recession? CIA poisoned the street food? Did someone finally tell ‘em about Bangkok Belly and now they’ve all bottled it? Feels off, mate. Streets this quiet give me the fear. Feels like we’re due for something stupid to kick off, and I’m not talkin’ about Khao San Road lads on mushrooms, I mean proper chaos.

 

Bangkok without bottom of the barrel tourists is like a curry without spice, still technically a meal, but what’s the point?

 

The Thai Tourist Authority's new theme song. 'Please don't go.'

[Lacessit]

Come on Lewie. Real Australians play Australian Rules football, not that Pommy transplant for players with thick necks and legs.

[Quentin Zen]

 

3 hours ago, Lewie London said:

Sukhumvit

 

was OK around 2008, terrible afterwards.   1990's was decent.  Bro, you gotta get with the times.

 

All the backpackers go to Vietnam or Bali or a few islands in Euroland.......Some Russian backpackers are in Phuket.  

 

Thailand is transitioning to Hi-So.   Golden rice in Issan for 10,000 baht.   Backpackers beg me for pictures......cannot poor Oliver.  

 

 

[Harrisfan]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Come on Lewie. Real Australians play Australian Rules football, not that Pommy transplant for players with thick necks and legs.

Aerial ping pong

[DonniePeverley]

It will pick up in a few weeks with summer holidays. Then it's peak season. 

 

Still loads of indians around.

 

Most of Sukhumvit is ladyboys. 

[bubblegum]

Seen vids of Pattaya looking like a nice place without Indians as well? Something sure has changed.

[gk10012001]

12 hours ago, hotsun said:

Yeah low season is the best time to come. If it were low season year round then i would consider staying 

I must admit I had no problems with low season in past years (2004-2010).  I went to Thailand in between jobs and never really planned the time I went there except a few times I did target the USA winter time.  Thanksgiving and Christmas in warm Thailand really was pleasant.  Remember all the girls dressing in red?   In Pattaya you could actually easily cross beach road without getting run over.   Soi Bukhao was peaceful.  Soi Yume was barely paved!  High season was nice also as it was a break from the cold winter weather if I had just finished working in a cold state here in the USA.  Low season and hot was fine with me.  Hotel pool, used to be able to swim in Jomtien beach water without getting sick.  Too much runoff there now the last decade or so.  

[JoseThailand]

13 hours ago, Lewie London said:

Oi, what’s all this then, mates? I’m down Sukhumvit last night expecting the usual parade of sweaty Indian sex-tourists, dodgy Thai blokes whisperin’ “ping pong show boss” every three steps, some Nigerian geezer tryin’ to flog me a suitcase of black dollars or lynch my bank account with a crypto scheme that’s basically a bin on fire. And what do I get? Nothin’. Ghost town. Like someone called last orders on sin itself. Whole place feels like Nana Plaza’s been raided by the Ghostbusters. Where’s all the filth gone? It’s spooky, mate. You could hear a cockroach having a scratch.

 

And don’t come at me with that “it’s the low, rainy season, bruv” ballocks. I’ve been terrorisin’ Sukhumvit since before most of these TikTok muppets knew how to tie their shoelaces. Rainy season, hot season, nuclear winter, floods, protests, don’t matter, Sukhumvit’s always been buzzing like a dodgy neon sign outside a short-time hotel. A-Rab lads doing 5 geezers on one slapper, old blokes from Hull looking for love with a pension and a dodgy knee, Russians wearin’ trackies tucked into their socks. Rain don’t stop that lot. Monsoon season’s usually just free aircon for the street drinkers. Now? Tumbleweeds, bruv. Even the tailor shops are sittin’ there like “Boss, where you go?”

 

I’m outside Soi 11, scratchin’ me head, thinkin’, where’s all the tight-arse Aussie blokes in vests screaming about rugby? Where’s the Americans, arguing about whether Trump smells like your Nan's wizard sleeves or expired orange spray paint? Where’s that weird Scandinavian bloke that’s always got only one flip-flop and a Chang in each hand? Nothing. Nana’s emptier than me biscuit tin after a family visit. Bangkok’s supposed to be chaos in a Hawaiian shirt, now it’s like someone put the whole city on airplane mode.

 

Nah, I’m not buyin’ it. I ain’t seen it this dead since Covid lockdown where even the soi dogs looked depressed. And the excuses don’t wash. This ain’t tourist season we’re talking about, this is lifestyle tourism. These lads don’t come for temples, they come all year round for cheap whiskey, bad decisions, and mysterious crotch rashes. Now? Gone. Not even one desperate geezer trying to sell me dodgy Ray-Bans made from melted Coke bottles.

 

So what is it then? Global recession? CIA poisoned the street food? Did someone finally tell ‘em about Bangkok Belly and now they’ve all bottled it? Feels off, mate. Streets this quiet give me the fear. Feels like we’re due for something stupid to kick off, and I’m not talkin’ about Khao San Road lads on mushrooms, I mean proper chaos.

 

Bangkok without bottom of the barrel tourists is like a curry without spice, still technically a meal, but what’s the point?

 

Are you complaining or what? That all sounds great to me! 

 

Probably everyone is gone to Vietnam...

[JoseThailand]

However, Pattaya is still full of Indians

[cjinchiangrai]

Prices are high and there is economic uncertainty.

 

The low rent folks are still in Phuket and Jomtien. The BIB have been rousting illegal workers. Never heard of ping pong touts outside of Patpong.

 

The big cadre missing is the Chinese. They think it is unsafe and are going elsewhere.

[JoseThailand]

6 hours ago, bubblegum said:

Seen vids of Pattaya looking like a nice place without Indians as well?

 

Walking street is full of them! By far, most tourists there are Indians!

[JoseThailand]

21 minutes ago, cjinchiangrai said:

The big cadre missing is the Chinese. They think it is unsafe and are going elsewhere.

 

I don't miss them at all. Do you?

[cjinchiangrai]

25 minutes ago, JoseThailand said:

 

I don't miss them at all. Do you?

I don't live on tourist baht.

[JoseThailand]

7 minutes ago, cjinchiangrai said:

I don't live on tourist baht.

 

Then why do you care? You should enjoy! The less tourists, the better for the rest of us who stay here