6 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

Since you are name dropping in an attempt to be superior, my favourite event is the Oxford University and Cambridge University annual Christmas dinner each December in Bangkok.

 

Most attendees are high ranking Thais. 

 

No riff-raff there. 

Yes, I was wondering if that guy gets invited to all those events or just crashes for drinks and snacks (I was gonna say Hors d'oeuvres but I wasn't sure how to spell).

 

I belong to the Bangkok branch of my Uni Alumni association (Signed up on the website) but I have never gone to any functions cuz mostly seems like young, recent grads and mostly Thais that studied abroad.

7 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

Since you are name dropping in an attempt to be superior, my favourite event is the Oxford University and Cambridge University annual Christmas dinner each December in Bangkok.

Most attendees are high ranking Thais. 

 

No riff-raff there. 

Not an attempt.I am merely pointing out that there are multiple social clubs where there are people worth meeting and socializing with. Not everyone sits on a bar stool in a cheap beer bar making small talk with the hookers.  I am not a member of the British Club. Many foreigners  are physically active and their socialization is at their sports venue, the  golf club, tennis club,yacht club etc. Others are  active in their social service clubs or churches and socialize with other members. Others socialize with friends from the workplace. A small number of people are dependent upon the cheap bar  scene, and they are there because they lack social skills. The majority of people  know how to socialize and will do so wherever they are. 

 

 

21 minutes ago, Patong2021 said:

Not an attempt.I am merely pointing out that there are multiple social clubs where there are people worth meeting and socializing with. Not everyone sits on a bar stool in a cheap beer bar making small talk with the hookers.  I am not a member of the British Club. Many foreigners  are physically active and their socialization is at their sports venue, the  golf club, tennis club,yacht club etc. Others are  active in their social service clubs or churches and socialize with other members. Others socialize with friends from the workplace. A small number of people are dependent upon the cheap bar  scene, and they are there because they lack social skills. The majority of people  know how to socialize and will do so wherever they are. 

 

 

 

It is a bit easier to find a gentleman's club or activities around places where there is expats who is working, and have sound and healthy routines, also combined with more healthy activities, and not only bar sports and activities. 

One guy told me he visited Bangkok for a couple of weeks and commented that almost all westerner's he met were "unstable". Made him think twice about retiring here in Thailand. 

 

I agree 100% with his assessment. 

1 hour ago, Furioso said:

One guy told me he visited Bangkok for a couple of weeks and commented that almost all westerner's he met were "unstable". Made him think twice about retiring here in Thailand. 

 

I agree 100% with his assessment. 

 

 

And even more crazy, those who are truly crazy, do not even know themselves. To them, everyone else are the crazy ones 😉

 

"The idea is that those who are truly unconventional or "crazy" in their thinking might not even realize they are different, and may perceive those who follow the norm as the ones with the unusual perspective. "

4 hours ago, Furioso said:

One guy told me he visited Bangkok for a couple of weeks and commented that almost all westerner's he met were "unstable". Made him think twice about retiring here in Thailand. 

 

I agree 100% with his assessment. 

It's a good place for unstable people to function, probably more noticeable if they were back in the west

14 hours ago, Hummin said:

 

 

And even more crazy, those who are truly crazy, do not even know themselves. To them, everyone else are the crazy ones 😉

 

"The idea is that those who are truly unconventional or "crazy" in their thinking might not even realize they are different, and may perceive those who follow the norm as the ones with the unusual perspective. "

 

So you're defending "the norm"?

And there's nothing crazy about "the norm"?

 

 

Living in a Nakhon for a while I was amused by the farang response to seeing another in the street, look through them, past them, above them, beyond them but do NOT make eye contact. But I became friends with a number of farang there and still am.

I am also still on friendly terms with people I got to know in a bar in Pattaya close to 30 years ago and seeing some for a drink there this weekend.

Agree, I usually try and politely say "How are you Mate" and try and practice my "English" and that is it!!

Unless they are shopping at 8.30 am on a Friday in Tesco everyone can fro 🤔

On 7/9/2025 at 5:02 PM, SoCal1990 said:

After spending enough time in Thailand, I’ve noticed something that feels unusual to me. I’ve become increasingly reluctant to engage with other foreigners I meet here. Not all, of course, but after years of encountering the same types over and over like the grifter, the guy running from something, the alcoholic, the conspiracy nutter, or the one who’s always “between jobs” and looking to borrow cash, I find myself keeping my distance more and more.

 

It seems like the longer you stay, the more you build up a kind of radar for this. You get tired of peeling back the layers and finding yet another sketchy story underneath. It's not that every foreigner here is like that, but a lot of people drawn to Thailand seem to be here because it's cheap, easy to disappear in, and doesn’t ask too many questions.

 

I’ve noticed that when I travel in places like Japan, Singapore, or even parts of Europe, I don’t feel the same hesitation. Foreigners you meet in those places tend to be professionals, students, people with cultural or historical interests or travelers with a plan. There’s a different vibe there. You’re not constantly wondering if the friendly guy you just met is going to hit you up for a loan or ask to crash at your place next week.

 

Thailand’s relatively low cost of living makes it incredibly attractive for people on a tight budget, but it also attracts people living on the fringe. All this has made me wary of striking up new conversations with fellow foreigners.

 

Have you felt this too? And do you avoid getting too close to other foreigners in Thailand, or do you still meet decent people from time to time and still form good new friendships?

I used to avoid them, but now I prefer to make subtle jokes, laugh and find out what annoys them and comment on it. Especially Chinese guys. I know they have small weiners and focus on small dik jokes.

4 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

It's a good place for unstable people to function, probably more noticeable if they were back in the west

Yep, one of the first westerner I met in Pattaya bragged he had been in all the tabloids and European papers for fooling around with a rich bankers wife and the controlling husband did not take too kindly to the affair. Eye opening to say the least. 

I'm lucky enough to have a couple of great foreigner friends here who don't fall into the alcoholic / sexpat / weirdo categories... Mostly regular guys who just enjoy living in Thailand and are respectful of the country and others. But that being said, I do avoid befriending other foreigners or expats (whatever that means) for all the reasons already cited by other members here. 

6 hours ago, save the frogs said:

 

So you're defending "the norm"?

And there's nothing crazy about "the norm"?

 

 

Im not normal, considering the life I have lived, and most people have something, or are different from what people think is norm. But still, most people do what is expected by them.

 

Go to work 9-5, thats the norm

 

I never fitted that box, and used to work for months even years with little time off, and then a long time off. 

 

When it comes to mental health, I agree there more abnormal cases among expats in Thailand with or without long term visas, and I believe it is maybe for some easier to live here with those challenges as long they live healthy with healthy routines. 

On 7/9/2025 at 9:15 PM, norsurin said:

I have 2 really good friends in Thailand.One is a former police in the swat team in my country.

The other one is a professor in social anthropology.Can sit and talk with them about everything.

Their honest and humble.

maybe that makes you the odd one out

If you frequent bars and areas like patong and pattaya you meet these older, beer drinking type of people. Often jaded.

The few and far between younger and normal working expats are either too busy with work or also a bit weird.

If you don't live in those areas then you are limited to people you see around your home and any hobbies etc. 

I have lived both these. The former and the latter.

Nowadays most (maybe 90%) of the "foriegners" I encounter are Russians around my home area. They speak Russian and I have no interest in them and vice versa.

I avoid most of the above types. I don't come accross many normal expats that aren't pissheads. retirees, Russians, criminals or mentally unstable.

On 7/9/2025 at 3:08 AM, richard_smith237 said:

https://aseannow.com/topic/663667-farang-v-farang-why-are-we-ignoring-each-other

 

https://aseannow.com/topic/1030598-whats-wrong-with-you-foreigners

 

https://aseannow.com/topic/1360507-when-was-the-last-time-that-you-spoke-with-a-foreigner/

 

https://aseannow.com/topic/1233668-being-scared-to-talk-to-other-farang

 

 

The general consensus... Too many loons, too many grumpy old boomers...  

 

Most people of a balanced mind will engage in interaction with anyone else, foreign or otherwise when the situation is organic and natural, not when its forced.

 

 

I was lucky.  During my time living in Phuket the neighbors on my soi, there were only 11 houses, were from Belarus, Iran, Belgium, Poland, Uruguay, Great Britain and Australia.  I walked every morning at dawn out to the end of the Palai Pier and along the embankment to Chalong Creek and back.  There was an informal community of people with many familiar faces each day walking the same route.  I met many Thai people and foreigners as well and had so many interesting conversations.  Leaning on the rail of the pier watching the Sun come up over Cape Panwa and chatting with new aquaintances from different countries and cultures was extremely pleasant.  I'm an old white guy and I tended to avoid old white guys and it worked out well.  

I like talking to foreigners here.

 

i don’t understand why anyone who doesn’t would join this forum to speak to foreigners all day.

2 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

I like talking to foreigners here.

 

i don’t understand why anyone who doesn’t would join this forum to speak to foreigners all day.

I am not surprised you wouldn't understand, but you must meet lots in your nightly girly hangouts, eh.....

34 minutes ago, transam said:

I am not surprised you wouldn't understand, but you must meet lots in your nightly girly hangouts, eh.....

Yes, a lot.

You should try an get out more in the real world instead of being stuck on your phone all day sending 95,000 messages to people you don’t even know.

 

STOP the personal remarks please!

On 7/9/2025 at 10:48 PM, geisha said:

I think they avoid me ! My neighbours are mostly Scandinavian who smoke and drink by the pool. They don’t speak. 

If you are from the UK you are not going to have much in common with guys from other countries. Personally I like the company of Americans as I do tend to have a lot in common with them having travelled over most parts of America.

Yes....for example people like you

Over the years, when my wife had a cafe, I met some that like to brag about their wealth back home, wherever that is.

Sounds like they are quoting telephone numbers or a European countries national debt.

The next week they are trying to borrow a few grand till their pension arrives.

Alas the magic words F&&k Off shattered their dreams

Driving thru the village the other day,  we saw a "farange" riding thru on a bicycle 

The wife said,,  guess you're not the only one here ( this village )

I said ..  damn.  there goes the neighborhood !

1 hour ago, MalcolmB said:

Yes, a lot.

You should try an get out more in the real world instead of being stuck on your phone all day sending 95,000 messages to people you don’t even know.

 

Like you chasing some cock in a frock

Just now, MalcolmB said:

Yes, a lot.

You should try an get out more in the real world instead of being stuck on your phone all day sending 95,000 messages to people you don’t even know.

 

95,000 in 18 years, chummy, you do the maths.........

6 minutes ago, transam said:

95,000 in 18 years, chummy, you do the maths.........

100 per week.

Do you think it was time well spent?

Just now, MalcolmB said:

100 per week.

Do you think it was time well spent?

Well yes, I got a pair of pink tights, which would look great on you at your nightly venue, eh....😘..............🤭

How many posts have you made, adding them up from all your usernames..........

On 7/9/2025 at 8:46 PM, Magictoad said:

It depends just as it would back in Europe/ UK Excessively drunk, I might not talk to but I might not have any choice!

I don't talk to "Roadmen style younguns" usually but I don't really mind Roadmen but you don't see many in Pattaya. 

I talk to older folk  often I find they they have more to offer.

As I have zero interest in sports that cuts a lot of people out of my scope. Even though I let them know I'm not going to watching any sport except Chess and snooker...Oh and wrestling.

It doesn't matter really if you are in your home country or a foreign countyy if you are are in a bar and a bloke sits next to you and starts a conversation  If youv'e been around a bit you should be able to work out if he's an idiot or dick head after a few sentences and  and if that's the case you can just move away from him or go to another bar.In my travels around the world I  have met a heap of idiots in pubs and bars  and it's not a problem and you don't have to sit there and listen to their drival all night.