6 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

Here comes the "I never pay" brigade.

 

Are you "respecting" a woman if your net worth is 100 times more than hers and you never pay for anything?  

 

 

They are stating they are not paying for everything and not paying the woman to be with them, that is the difference. 

 

They are not paying for the girls family and the sick buffalo in order for the woman to stay with them.

@JamesPhuket10 We live and learn. Including the people who pay for sex. We cannot be judgemental, as we haven't walked in their shoes. But it's good to have open and honest conversations about it. One of the good things about this forum.  

 

Just now, JakeC said:

@JamesPhuket10 We live and learn. Including the people who pay for sex. We cannot be judgemental, as we haven't walked in their shoes. But it's good to have open and honest conversations about it. One of the good things about this forum.  

 

 

My 'argument' with some of the guys is because they are judgemental and stereotype women as all being the same in a negative way. 

 

It is a positive thing to point those type of people out. 

11 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

They are stating they are not paying for everything and not paying the woman to be with them, that is the difference. 

 

They are not paying for the girls family and the sick buffalo in order for the woman to stay with them.

 

Life is not a neat little box.

In theory, this guy's previous post is valid.

 

In practice, if you're taking a girl out of the bar, it's 100% about money right off the bat. And might be mostly about money if she isn't working. You need to pay. She is in a desperate situation. She has no time or inclination to cultivate a "real" relationship. She is in a vulnerable situation and you need to PAY. 

 

Also, if there is a large age gap, money is going to be a big factor right off the bat and it's self-delusion to go down the path of thinking a real relationship needs to be established.

 

Also, I met a string of girls in serious debt, whose businesses failed, who are in crap jobs. Money is important here. 

 

Only 5-10% of available women to retired farangs have good paying jobs and no debt and money isn't the biggest factor. As far as my own experience.

 

I met a girl on a dating site, 26 ,, and she's wheeling and dealing for property and a house. I had only spoken to her on the dating app for a couple of days. Obviously, you have to block out these types of situations .... but money is important here. Very few women have great jobs AND come from good families where the parents are also doing well. A lot of women are divorced, with kids to take care of, low- paying jobs. 

 

You're getting into "hiso" territory and it's not easy to find for a retiree.

 

Maybe if you come to Thailand in your 20s or 30s, get good jobs, and network you have a better chance at the conventional path of relationships, where you actually develop a real relationship that isn't centered around money.  But even then, you will need to buy property that's not in your name at some point, won't you? 

 

 

 

On 9/29/2025 at 9:51 AM, save the frogs said:

If you get hitched up with a bar girl, you can ask her if she wants to get training in sth, like hairdresser.

Then you can support her in that. Training is not even that expensive. 

But some may be very ambitious ... ie want to open a restaurant. Then it's risky. 

 

What's more risky is if they want to open a 'bar'?  With support from the foreigner of course!

11 hours ago, mikeymike100 said:

What's more risky is if they want to open a 'bar'?  With support from the foreigner of course!

 

see, mikey's been around. 

11 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

They are stating they are not paying for everything and not paying the woman to be with them, that is the difference. 

 

They are not paying for the girls family and the sick buffalo in order for the woman to stay with them.

 

There's a guy on Youtube documenting his situation.

His wife has a good job. So she is able to get a mortgage from a bank.

He is paying the monthly mortgage, but with no major deposit.

So if it ends badly, he walks away and doesn't lose much because he would have had to pay rent for himself anyway. 

This is a good strategy, but you can't do it with a girl from a bar or a girl who has amassed massive debts -- and there are many. 

 

 

@JamesPhuket10 I agree. But at the same time perhaps should keep in mind that they actually believe what they are writing.

That may be their perspective. The way they see it. If no one talks about it, the belief remains unchallenged. 

The truth is that they are part of the same problem. The men seek those women and the women seek those men. It's an ecosystem. That's what they know. Self defeating. As those women will think that men are all the same. So then they both hate, but tolerate each other.

Better to tell them of your experience, rather than to appear to criticise. If you appear criticise, you are criticising their life. Hard to take I can imagine.

We can only explain how it is for us. For me, they(women) are people. My friends whom I would not choose to harm, lie nor deceive. Easy to separate the wheat from the chaff if you keep your standards or even raise them.

@save the frogs @BritManToo could have told you that fifteen years ago. 

@save the frogs In real life, it's not just black and white. I had a young Thai girl 'stalk' me. Gave up bar life to work in a restaurant as she knew that I would not accept a bar girl. Didn't give her any money. She worked to regain her self respect and now runs a farm and other businesses upcountry, not ever to return to those old ways.

9 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

Life is not a neat little box.

In theory, this guy's previous post is valid.

 

In practice, if you're taking a girl out of the bar, it's 100% about money right off the bat. And might be mostly about money if she isn't working. You need to pay. She is in a desperate situation. She has no time or inclination to cultivate a "real" relationship. She is in a vulnerable situation and you need to PAY. 

 

Also, if there is a large age gap, money is going to be a big factor right off the bat and it's self-delusion to go down the path of thinking a real relationship needs to be established.

 

Also, I met a string of girls in serious debt, whose businesses failed, who are in crap jobs. Money is important here. 

 

Only 5-10% of available women to retired farangs have good paying jobs and no debt and money isn't the biggest factor. As far as my own experience.

 

I met a girl on a dating site, 26 ,, and she's wheeling and dealing for property and a house. I had only spoken to her on the dating app for a couple of days. Obviously, you have to block out these types of situations .... but money is important here. Very few women have great jobs AND come from good families where the parents are also doing well. A lot of women are divorced, with kids to take care of, low- paying jobs. 

 

You're getting into "hiso" territory and it's not easy to find for a retiree.

 

Maybe if you come to Thailand in your 20s or 30s, get good jobs, and network you have a better chance at the conventional path of relationships, where you actually develop a real relationship that isn't centered around money.  But even then, you will need to buy property that's not in your name at some point, won't you? 

 

 

 

 

No I never did buy property in Thailand as I can not own one unless it is a crap condo, even after my forty years of visiting and a few years now of living here.

 

My partner of 25 years already had a few properties when I ment her and now has a few more, all her money.

 

We split our costs of living as we both have money.

 

The dating app or bar girl scenario would never have happened to me as I met women in a standard way, socially, through friends and family. 

 

But I do not mind other guys paying for girls etc as both parties get what they want, what I do argue with them about is they paint all women with the same negative money grabbing brush because they are the only type of women they have been with.

 

It is a disrespect to the 99% of Thai women who work would never do a job in a bar etc and do not pretend they have no alternative to the gullible farangs who believe their sob stories, there are plenty of other jobs out there which the majority of Thai women do. 

 

On 9/29/2025 at 8:26 AM, MalcolmB said:

It is very common in Thailand for customers to fall for the Ladies of the Night much like in the Hollywood hit Pretty Woman.

 

So then jealousy kicks in and you don’t want her out there plying her trade every night being soiled by hundreds of men.

 

So you pay her monthly not to work in the sex industry.

 

So now what? Should she get a normal job? Or can she just have a life of pleasure living it up?

 

Hold on, I'll ask the missus.

13 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

There's a guy on Youtube documenting his situation.

His wife has a good job. So she is able to get a mortgage from a bank.

He is paying the monthly mortgage, but with no major deposit.

So if it ends badly, he walks away and doesn't lose much because he would have had to pay rent for himself anyway. 

This is a good strategy, but you can't do it with a girl from a bar or a girl who has amassed massive debts -- and there are many. 

 

 

 

It works for both of them it seems as she can sell the house if it all goes sour. 

12 minutes ago, JakeC said:

@JamesPhuket10 I agree. But at the same time perhaps should keep in mind that they actually believe what they are writing.

That may be their perspective. The way they see it. If no one talks about it, the belief remains unchallenged. 

The truth is that they are part of the same problem. The men seek those women and the women seek those men. It's an ecosystem. That's what they know. Self defeating. As those women will think that men are all the same. So then they both hate, but tolerate each other.

Better to tell them of your experience, rather than to appear to criticise. If you appear criticise, you are criticising their life. Hard to take I can imagine.

We can only explain how it is for us. For me, they(women) are people. My friends whom I would not choose to harm, lie nor deceive. Easy to separate the wheat from the chaff if you keep your standards or even raise them.

 

If you have seen any of my threads I do start off by stating my story and my relationship with my Thai partner and state it is not a cash relationship.

 

Some individuals then reply and state we are in denial or lying so I reply and say they are wrong, they only have that experience of women.

 

But it gets to a point where it is a waste of time so I stop with that individual and let them get on with it as their mind is fixed. 

31 minutes ago, JakeC said:

@save the frogs @BritManToo could have told you that fifteen years ago. 

Yeah, I did it 12 years back with a girl from a bar.

20 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

As  underage girls cannot legally give consent , its considered  to be child rape in the eyes of the law 

Not if you are married to them according to him.

Buy a bargirl in South East Asia and get a daughter free type of deal.

3 hours ago, JakeC said:

@save the frogs In real life, it's not just black and white. I had a young Thai girl 'stalk' me. Gave up bar life to work in a restaurant as she knew that I would not accept a bar girl. Didn't give her any money. She worked to regain her self respect and now runs a farm and other businesses upcountry, not ever to return to those old ways.

You can take the girl out of the bar.

 

But you can not take the bar out of the girl.

 

She is tainted by being soiled by all those sex tourists.

A few years ago I paid for a Thai language course . My teacher was probably early twenties and seemed like a " good " girl . Then , suddenly one day , she said she was looking for a husband and wanted a sin sot of 4 million bt . It all comes down to money in the end .

1 minute ago, persimmon said:

A few years ago I paid for a Thai language course . My teacher was probably early twenties and seemed like a " good " girl . Then , suddenly one day , she said she was looking for a husband and wanted a sin sot of 4 million bt . It all comes down to money in the end .

Where did she pick the number 4 million? You must have made a solid impression on her 😄 

Just now, Hummin said:

Where did she pick the number 4 million? You must have made a solid impression on her 😄 

I can`t say . I suppose she thought ( as most Thais do ) that all Farangs are very rich . I told her I could buy a house in the UK for that amount . No response .

My prediction is that these sort of demands will only increase , as there seems to be a lot of money flowing into Pattaya now , and a limited supply of girls .

The burning question is, you can take the girl out of the bar but will you take the bar out of the girl? My wife was 45 yo when I met her in a Beach Road bar. We're still together 25 years on. My take is there's 2 different types of ladies in Pattaya bars. There's the ones who make a profession out of dropping their gear for money. The others are there looking for a life long partner. My wifes husband died in a motor bike accident when she was 30 years old. A few years after he died she made up her mind that she would never marry another Thai man. So her only option was to hit Pattaya and hope for the best.

9 hours ago, persimmon said:

A few years ago I paid for a Thai language course . My teacher was probably early twenties and seemed like a " good " girl . Then , suddenly one day , she said she was looking for a husband and wanted a sin sot of 4 million bt . It all comes down to money in the end .

You're supposed to haggle ...... she would have come down to 1M.

Comment removed 

 

@Ralf001

 

 

 

29. You will not discuss the specifics of prostitution. Although Thailand has a visible sex industry and acknowledgement of that fact is not forbidden, ASEAN NOW is not the place to seek or give specific information on this topic. ASEAN NOW seeks to protect children and other at risk groups from exploitation on the internet. Any content that appears to be inappropriate or exploitative will be removed.

 

 

Quarrelsome posts were removed. Please debate the topic, without resorting to personal attacks. Thank you.

On 9/30/2025 at 3:26 PM, Cameroni said:

 

I'm 54. Yes, the set up you have is ideal, she should be working to occupy herself and convince herself she's doing something useful. Idle hands are the devil's playground.

 

No children is an absoute must again, good call.

 

It does take experimentation for sure. Whilst women are in their physical peak 18 to 23, of course younger girls come with a host of other issues that are not looks related. Granted a girl in her 30s can still look good, but how good did she look at 22? Better for sure. Obviously looks are superficial, and they will disappear, however, when I saw this old English guy at Big C today with his horrendous old Thai grannie, I have to say, a line has to be drawn somewhere.

 

Looks are important, even if superficial and transitory, not saying character is not important, it is, but only AFTER attraction is a given.

 

Sounds like a nice setup. Good luck to you.

 Girls age at different rates depending on their lifestyles. My girl doesn't drink or smoke, eats healthy, exercises and stays out of the sun (works office jobs). She also doesn't have the burden of children or an extended family to support. That's why she looks 10 years younger than her real age. My ex-wife, whom I met at 18, also looked at least 10 years younger than her real age after she hit 30. Also, no children, etc.

 

You seem very focused on age. What do you do when they hit 30 or they want to start a family? Do you trade them in for a younger model?

6 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

 Girls age at different rates depending on their lifestyles. My girl doesn't drink or smoke, eats healthy, exercises and stays out of the sun (works office jobs). She also doesn't have the burden of children or an extended family to support. That's why she looks 10 years younger than her real age. My ex-wife, whom I met at 18, also looked at least 10 years younger than her real age after she hit 30. Also, no children, etc.

 

You seem very focused on age. What do you do when they hit 30 or they want to start a family? Do you trade them in for a younger model?

 

Cam living the dream of every man, and still he is stuck here with us who is married! Bachelor of the year 😄 

16 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

 Girls age at different rates depending on their lifestyles. My girl doesn't drink or smoke, eats healthy, exercises and stays out of the sun (works office jobs). She also doesn't have the burden of children or an extended family to support. That's why she looks 10 years younger than her real age. My ex-wife, whom I met at 18, also looked at least 10 years younger than her real age after she hit 30. Also, no children, etc.

 

You seem very focused on age. What do you do when they hit 30 or they want to start a family? Do you trade them in for a younger model?

 

Yes, that is very true, like with men, really, some women age worse than others. There are women who even at 40 are still doable. But I would say from 48 it goes downhill markedly even if they age well.

 

 

24 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

You seem very focused on age. What do you do when they hit 30 or they want to start a family? Do you trade them in for a younger model?

 

I have actually gone through that. I was married to a beautiful Russian I met when she was 19. Actualy, 30 is fine, the danger age is 36 to 38 when they panic about the children clock. After 20 years of marriage I made the conscious decision to file for divorce. I still see her now and boy am I glad I made that decision. Time is not kind to women. And she is like yours, yoga, slim and takes care of herself, but what a difference to 19.

 

I think I can tolerate up to 45, maybe 48, over 50 I would have to get the parachute, unless I am way past fitness myself. And even then as a man you can compensate. As a woman, not so much.

 

That is why it is so important for me to get a young girl, I can probably only count on 20 to 25 years maximum toleration time. Women over 50 are literally  a living nightmare for me. I doubt I could do that.

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Yes, that is very true, like with men, really, some women age worse than others. There are women who even at 40 are still doable. But I would say from 48 it goes downhill markedly even if they age well.

 

 

 

I have actually gone through that. I was married to a beautiful Russian I met when she was 19. Actualy, 30 is fine, the danger age is 36 to 38 when they panic about the children clock. After 20 years of marriage I made the conscious decision to file for divorce. I still see her now and boy am I glad I made that decision. Time is not kind to women. And she is like yours, yoga, slim and takes care of herself, but what a difference to 19.

 

I think I can tolerate up to 45, maybe 48, over 50 I would have to get the parachute, unless I am way past fitness myself. And even then as a man you can compensate. As a woman, not so much.

 

That is why it is so important for me to get a young girl, I can probably only count on 20 to 25 years maximum toleration time. Women over 50 are literally  a living nightmare for me. I doubt I could do that.

Well, if you do not want children, how do you expect to have a lasting relationship with someone at your preferred age? 

 

have you snipped your string ? 

33 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Well, if you do not want children, how do you expect to have a lasting relationship with someone at your preferred age? 

 

have you snipped your string ? 

 

I have nothing against children. I have two. I love my two daughters and am happy they were born. I quite like having children.

 

What I don't like is the effect children have on women. Have you seen what happens to the looks of a woman after she has children? And it goes way beyond looks. The mother will substitute the children for the husband in terms of affection and importance, as a husband you will always take a distant second place behind a woman's children. 

 

And children have the effect of making women harsh, bossy, self-centred, short tempered and much else besides.

 

So whilst I love children dearly, and very much enjoy having my beautiful children, the effect they had on the mother was overwhelmingly negative and detrimental.  It's the older, harsh, short tempered and self-centred older woman I don't like. Children, I love very much.

43 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Yes, that is very true, like with men, really, some women age worse than others. There are women who even at 40 are still doable. But I would say from 48 it goes downhill markedly even if they age well.

 

 

 

I have actually gone through that. I was married to a beautiful Russian I met when she was 19. Actualy, 30 is fine, the danger age is 36 to 38 when they panic about the children clock. After 20 years of marriage I made the conscious decision to file for divorce. I still see her now and boy am I glad I made that decision. Time is not kind to women. And she is like yours, yoga, slim and takes care of herself, but what a difference to 19.

 

I think I can tolerate up to 45, maybe 48, over 50 I would have to get the parachute, unless I am way past fitness myself. And even then as a man you can compensate. As a woman, not so much.

 

That is why it is so important for me to get a young girl, I can probably only count on 20 to 25 years maximum toleration time. Women over 50 are literally  a living nightmare for me. I doubt I could do that.

You are in great shape and not overweight?