39 minutes ago, Celsius said:

How long have you guys been in Asia again?

For those of us who understand the iron law, that all relationships are transactional, it is not a pecularity of Asia that women want resources. This applies in every country in the world, almost, with some very remote matrinlineal tribes being an exception. The only difference is that poverty is much more extreme in Asia, which makes the demands more obvious, though interestingly also more modest.

Whilst I would generally agree that most women want to lead and call the shots, even in China, there are some rare women who truly like to obey and have the man be in charge. It's very rare but it does exist.

As I understand it the Chinese lady referred to is a lawyer so it's possible finances are not uppermost in her mind, but clearly snaring the prize is, so the "I like to obey" line may be a strategic play. At this point it's impossible to say really, time will tell.

25 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

It’s definitely better when the woman is more into the man then the man is into the woman.

That is the conventional wisdom. However, whilst there will always be an adorer and the adored, it is the adorer who gets to experience all the depth and sweetness of love, not the adored. The adored has more power, yes, but the price they pay is that they forego the full experience of loving.

So it depends on your preference really, do you prefer the ecstasy of love, or the certainty of power?

A question of perspective.

1 hour ago, Celsius said:

God, not this again.

No wonder you and Cameroni are the best mates. She wants me to lead.... your wallet does the leading. She wants you to take charge.... of the bill 🤣

How long have you guys been in Asia again?

BTW my wife is 100% pure chinese christian. Her beauty can be seen on page 97 of this thread. Don't give me this BS she wants me to lead... that's bargirl talk

She own her own condo free and clear a couple of soi's away. She dresses very well. A lot of Jim Thompson. Prob mid-50',s but she won't say. She knows my age.

Other benefits: very supportive of me being close friends with my ex-wife. Doesn't like to travel, but wants me to enjoy life. No stress, very complimentary and tactile.

I think the leader title is mostly honorific, rather than me actually charting a course for someone who works in M&A. It's part of her Bible thing (Bible group, twice a week). I did a bit of googling.

Since I meditate, an educated spiritual person is a good fit. And hard to find. But it's only been 3 dates in 3 day, so I'm keeping projection to a minimum.

As a non-Christian, how do your wife's beliefs impact you?

1 hour ago, Celsius said:

God, not this again.

No wonder you and Cameroni are the best mates. She wants me to lead.... your wallet does the leading. She wants you to take charge.... of the bill 🤣

How long have you guys been in Asia again?

BTW my wife is 100% pure chinese christian. Her beauty can be seen on page 97 of this thread. Don't give me this BS she wants me to lead... that's bargirl talk

double post

10 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

As a non-Christian, how do your wife's beliefs impact you?

Excellent question.

She tried gently to convert me, and I tried (less gently) to stay unconverted. True to form, she’s too kind-hearted to push the issue. She believes God will bring us together when she passes and that is her only hope.

I am an atheist, so her religious beliefs don't really resonate with me. She's a converted Christian (her parents are both Buddhist), and I sometimes feel her faith leads her to be more passive trusting that God will sort everything out. I tjink that this mindset may have held her back from reaching her full professional potential while she was working in Thailand.

On the other hand no other woman would put up with me for so long if it wasn't for her religion. Won't go into many details, but her being both Chinese and Christian I, as a husband am the second god. I am forgiven almost everything I do. I am not a fan of this behavior and don't take advantage of it, just to make it clear.

9 minutes ago, Celsius said:

Excellent question.

Won't go into many details, but her being both Chinese and Christian I, as a husband am the second god.

Def a bit of this.

She sees me as her teacher and guide. It's something to be very light with. She enjoys craft cocktails and asks me to pick for her.

It's more a statement of trust than a kink. Some seepage between the two elements may happen, that would be great. In the old pre-gender eternal wars days, she'd just be considered traditional.

Idealizing a partner is OK if you're aware you're doing it and not projecting too much; like you being the head of the household. I expect any obedience to mostly symbolic and very occasional.

In Buddhism, the desire for aspiration, to be better or more loving, is considered not to be clinging (the draining kind of desire). In Christianity, the giving over of self is a necessary connection to God. We talk about stuff like that.

28 minutes ago, Celsius said:

Excellent question.

She tried gently to convert me, and I tried (less gently) to stay unconverted. True to form, she’s too kind-hearted to push the issue. She believes God will bring us together when she passes and that is her only hope.

I am an atheist, so her religious beliefs don't really resonate with me. She's a converted Christian (her parents are both Buddhist), and I sometimes feel her faith leads her to be more passive trusting that God will sort everything out. I tjink that this mindset may have held her back from reaching her full professional potential while she was working in Thailand.

On the other hand no other woman would put up with me for so long if it wasn't for her religion. Won't go into many details, but her being both Chinese and Christian I, as a husband am the second god. I am forgiven almost everything I do. I am not a fan of this behavior and don't take advantage of it, just to make it clear.

58 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

She own her own condo free and clear a couple of soi's away. She dresses very well. A lot of Jim Thompson. Prob mid-50',s but she won't say. She knows my age.

Other benefits: very supportive of me being close friends with my ex-wife. Doesn't like to travel, but wants me to enjoy life. No stress, very complimentary and tactile.

I think the leader title is mostly honorific, rather than me actually charting a course for someone who works in M&A. It's part of her Bible thing (Bible group, twice a week). I did a bit of googling.

Since I meditate, an educated spiritual person is a good fit. And hard to find. But it's only been 3 dates in 3 day, so I'm keeping projection to a minimum.

As a non-Christian, how do your wife's beliefs impact you?

I missed that part she was in her 50ies, and it makes it more understandable her affection for you. She got time to mature and understand her standing, where most younger believe they are worth alot more, especially when dating elderly men. Within or where the main problems for mest men lays, when they believe their relationship is not transactional, even they got other qualities than just liquid resources

6 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Within or where the main problems for mest men lays, when they believe their relationship is not transactional, even they got other qualities than just liquid resources

To be free of that transactional boner killer aspect is great.

I told her: I want to take you out to Michelin restaurants, not pay your electric bill. She thought that was pretty funny.

But that's down to the luck of the draw. Even when I was Tindering, I was looking at the pics for signs of affluence, or at least self-sufficiency. We're in a poor country. If I'm making $10K a month (imaginary amount) and my partner is making a fifth of that, then I should help her out.

If I am going out with a much younger person like Cameroni is, that's almost certainly going to be the case. I see happy relationships all around me where the man is giving financial support.

My ex-wife had health problems and I asked her to stop working. If Phuket Girl wants to go to college or something and they are a couple, it's very different from sending money to an Only Fans woman.

If she wants to continue being a part time escort and he can live with that, that could work too. I have seen a few relationships here that started out as transactional and turned into real couples.

I don't see myself going down that road due to my age. And I don't want to do it.

8 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

To be free of that transactional boner killer aspect is great.

I told her: I want to take you out to Michelin restaurants, not pay your electric bill. She thought that was pretty funny.

But that's down to the luck of the draw. Even when I was Tindering, I was looking at the pics for signs of affluence, or at least self-sufficiency. We're in a poor country. If I'm making $10K a month (imaginary amount) and my partner is making a fifth of that, then I should help her out.

If I am going out with a much younger person like Cameroni is, that's almost certainly going to be the case. I see happy relationships all around me where the man is giving financial support.

My ex-wife had health problems and I asked her to stop working. If Phuket Girl wants to go to college or something and they are a couple, it's very different from sending money to an Only Fans woman.

If she wants to continue being a part time escort and he can live with that, that could work too. I have seen a few relationships here that started out as transactional and turned into real couples.

I don't see myself going down that road due to my age. And I don't want to do it.

Everyone have their own destiny, and what fits one might not fit another. Many of us who happily take charge, and being the main provider, but also make sure we are creating a future together based on dependency of each other, where we have different roles to succeed.

Doesn't mean the wife just cleaning and making food and stay home.

20 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

Even when I was Tindering, I was looking at the pics for signs of affluence, or at least self-sufficiency.

We really are polar opposites in terms of mating strategy. Not just in age preference. I actually look for the exact opposite, Whilst I don't mind if she's affluent I actually prefer girls who are not. It just means they are more amenable to coming here and going all in quickly. Paying 250 USD a month is a small price for pliability.

If the girl runs a business and makes her own money they invariably are more difficult in character. It depends on the girl of course, but usually my preference is a girl that needs a man on every level, sexually, emotionally and financially.

28 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

If I'm making $10K a month (imaginary amount) and my partner is making a fifth of that, then I should help her out.

Exactly right, though I think even in the West, usually when the husband makes 10K and the girl makes 6K, the husband will still end up "helping" out, ie paying everything from mortgage, to food, to holidays to gifts and so on.

It's just the resources for sexual access paradigm that women and men have adopted for hundreds of thousands of years.

30 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

If Phuket Girl wants to go to college or something and they are a couple, it's very different from sending money to an Only Fans woman.

Quite so. She did mention this idea of going back to college. I'm not sure how I feel about it, not because of the money it costs, but because she'd be in an environment that normalizes all people around her being in their 20s, and makes people older than 20 look like freaks. That's why you can't date a college girl in the US normally, they think it's normal to be surrounded by people in their 20s, anyone older looks weird. Only when they go into the real world does that change.

24 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

To be free of that transactional boner killer aspect is great.

I told her: I want to take you out to Michelin restaurants, not pay your electric bill. She thought that was pretty funny.

But that's down to the luck of the draw. Even when I was Tindering, I was looking at the pics for signs of affluence, or at least self-sufficiency. We're in a poor country. If I'm making $10K a month (imaginary amount) and my partner is making a fifth of that, then I should help her out.

If I am going out with a much younger person like Cameroni is, that's almost certainly going to be the case. I see happy relationships all around me where the man is giving financial support.

My ex-wife had health problems and I asked her to stop working. If Phuket Girl wants to go to college or something and they are a couple, it's very different from sending money to an Only Fans woman.

If she wants to continue being a part time escort and he can live with that, that could work too. I have seen a few relationships here that started out as transactional and turned into real couples.

I don't see myself going down that road due to my age. And I don't want to do it.

I think many of the comments he attracted were from his denials that she worked as an escort...

The balance is between possibly earning more as a part time escort or a receiving a steady income from a single or at least, a few regulars.

But love....I doubt it. But he is so...lovestruck is the wrong word 😊, that he is willing to grab on to the flimsiest of straws of hope. His ego fills in the glaring omissions. But perhaps that is the case for everyone. Just that some of us demand more for ourselves, rather than to prostrate ourselves for the want of a younger woman. They know.

I meet them and throw them back into the water if they don't fit my criteria, younger or older. P4P I leave to others.

Either way, it's all a learning experience and makes for interesting reading sometimes 😊

10 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

We really are polar opposites in terms of mating strategy. Not just in age preference. I actually look for the exact opposite, Whilst I don't mind if she's affluent I actually prefer girls who are not. It just means they are more amenable to coming here and going all in quickly. Paying 250 USD a month is a small price for pliability.

If the girl runs a business and makes her own money they invariably are more difficult in character. It depends on the girl of course, but usually my preference is a girl that needs a man on every level, sexually, emotionally and financially.

Exactly right, though I think even in the West, usualyl, when the husband makes 10K and the girl makes 6K, the husband will still end up "helping" out, ie paying everything from mortgage, to food, to holidays to gifts and so on.

It's just the resources for sexual access paradigm that women and men have adopted for hundreds of thousands of years.

Quite so. She did mention this idea of going back to college. I'm not sure how I feel about, not because of the money it costs, but because she'd be in an environment that normalizes all people around her being in their 20s, and makes people older than 20 look like freaks. That's why you can't date a college girl in the US normally, they think it's normal to be surrounded by people in their 20s, anyone older looks weird. Only when they go into the real world does that change.

So what happens when the woman earns more, does she help the man out? You do you write some nonsense...often 😊 You certainly won't be paying her US$250 per month. That was just what you decided that you could afford, before you met her.

35 minutes ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

So what happens when the woman earns more, does she help the man out? You do you write some nonsense...often 😊 You certainly won't be paying her US$250 per month. That was just what you decided that you could afford, before you met her.

He is buying her 'affection' but does not want to admit to it.

He pretends he is not interested in self sufficient women with their own money etc, the real reason is they are not interested in old blokes, the poor 'on call girls' are more available to him as long as a large wallet is involved.

But she seem to have got the psychology right, she knows her stuff, playing hard to get, feeding him titbits to keep him on the hook and then the demands will start which will end up in buying a house, a car, supporting her parents and the buffalo up in Isaan, hooked like so many others I have hear of.

A few years or even months down the road it will be a cry into beer scenario.

Or as I have said many times, he is having us all on and we are falling for it, either way it is still funny to read the antics.

56 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

We really are polar opposites in terms of mating strategy. Not just in age preference. I actually look for the exact opposite, Whilst I don't mind if she's affluent I actually prefer girls who are not. It just means they are more amenable to coming here and going all in quickly. Paying 250 USD a month is a small price for pliability.

If the girl runs a business and makes her own money they invariably are more difficult in character. It depends on the girl of course, but usually my preference is a girl that needs a man on every level, sexually, emotionally and financially.

Exactly right, though I think even in the West, usually when the husband makes 10K and the girl makes 6K, the husband will still end up "helping" out, ie paying everything from mortgage, to food, to holidays to gifts and so on.

It's just the resources for sexual access paradigm that women and men have adopted for hundreds of thousands of years.

Quite so. She did mention this idea of going back to college. I'm not sure how I feel about it, not because of the money it costs, but because she'd be in an environment that normalizes all people around her being in their 20s, and makes people older than 20 look like freaks. That's why you can't date a college girl in the US normally, they think it's normal to be surrounded by people in their 20s, anyone older looks weird. Only when they go into the real world does that change.

"That's why you can't date a college girl in the US normally, they think it's normal to be surrounded by people in their 20s, anyone older looks weird."

That's because it is a fact. It is normal.

Did you hang around with women 35+ years older than you at college?

You need a one sentence reason why you are together. That’s not not transactional, that’s reality.

For me in this Chinese person, we want to be in a complementary relationship. We are relationship people. She wants someone to cook for. I want someone to wake up next.

What is the one sentence reason why this woman wants to be with Cameroni?

3 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

You need a one sentence reason why you are together. That’s not not transactional, that’s reality.

For me in this Chinese person, we want to be in a complementary relationship. We are relationship people. She wants someone to cook for. I want someone to wake up next.

What is the one sentence reason why this woman wants to be with Cameroni?

Which was your 'one sentence'? Did you mean 'one paragraph'?

she wants to cook for someone

38 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

You need a one sentence reason why you are together. That’s not not transactional, that’s reality.

For me in this Chinese person, we want to be in a complementary relationship. We are relationship people. She wants someone to cook for. I want someone to wake up next.

What is the one sentence reason why this woman wants to be with Cameroni?

She loves sex with Cameroni and he thinks it's nice.

1 hour ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

So what happens when the woman earns more, does she help the man out? You do you write some nonsense...often 😊 You certainly won't be paying her US$250 per month. That was just what you decided that you could afford, before you met her.

Quite obviously he like s the lady to be non affluent,so he can try to control them by money. The flip is an absolute control freak. . I love reading this diatribe as he is getting conned and it is good to watch.

3 hours ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

I think many of the comments he attracted were from his denials that she worked as an escort...

I think you're confusing the discussion about whether CM girl was an escort with Phuket Girl. Phuket Girl never worked as an escort.

She had a very normal relationship, a Thai boyfriend of 5 years. Then she wanted to escape for adventure and met the Austrian guy, who is very wealthy, He owns 5 apartments and she helped him administer those condos, so she got an allowance. That has nothing to do with being escort.

Turns out they broke up because the Austrian didn't handle her right, one of his tenants complained about a condo not being clean enough. Phuket Girl was blamed by the Austrian, but she was not told she had to do anything, so she blamed the Austrian. They had an argument.

There were a few indiscretions, revenge cheating, but again, nothing akin to being an escort.

3 hours ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

The balance is between possibly earning more as a part time escort or a receiving a steady income from a single or at least, a few regulars.

But love....I doubt it.

Again, she's never worked as an escort. You're implying a professionalism and sex work ("regulars") which is completely inappropriate and false.

Now, was she a "serial dater"? Not really, she did not have a lot of boyfriends. Would she like to work as an escort? The money intrigues her a lot, and she likes sex, so she is very tempted. She even told me this. But she's never done it.

3 hours ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

But he is so...lovestruck is the wrong word 😊, that he is willing to grab on to the flimsiest of straws of hope. His ego fills in the glaring omissions. But perhaps that is the case for everyone. J

It's not the case for me. I'm not "lovestruck" in the slightest. I'm very aware of the difficulties with Phuket Girl, the age gap, the socio-economic gap, the cultural gap.

Now did I enjoy her enthusiastic sexual desire, her playful and vibrant personality, her expert kissing, her expert touch (she can massage like a pro), sharing intimacies like showering together, sleeping together, eating together, shopping together? Indeed I did.

Nevertheless, nobody knows better than I do that you can only tell if a woman really loves you with the passing of time. Her jealousy about girls that text me, her effort to have me block them, all those things signal she cares for me but of course that will only be revealed after considerable time.

When I think she loves me, that's based on real facts, not projections. I'm far too realistic to grab on "straws of hope".

4 hours ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

So what happens when the woman earns more, does she help the man out?

I've been in the top 1% of earners of my home country for most of my life, so this scenario has never occured to me. Having said that I doubt a woman who earns more would help the man out, but I've actually seen that with two female lawyer colleagues who had husbands who were not lawyers. They did finance the life, and of course there's sex workers with pimps, it does happen. Not sure what you are getting at here.

4 hours ago, FrankieGoesToHolly said:

You certainly won't be paying her US$250 per month. That was just what you decided that you could afford, before you met her.

No that was what I paid BKK girl as an allowance, but you're right of course, that's just part of it, taking them out for restaurants, dresses, shoes, trips, hotels, that does crank it up a bit. Fair point.

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

I've been in the top 1% of earners of my home country for most of my life,

End you ended up in Chiang Mai? What happened to you ?

You should definitely be down in Phuket instead, or not in Thailand at all

3 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

He is buying her 'affection' but does not want to admit to it.

You can't buy "affection". That would always be very short-lived and ineffectual.

What you can do, is become indispensable. If a financial need arises, you take care of it. You can provide a lifestyle that far surpasses what she is used to and she may get accustomed to it. So you can raise your attraction level with resources, however, it's a double edged sword. Women don't like to ask for money. They don't like to be dependent on a man. And you have to be careful that your "usefulness" does not eclipse real attraction.

That's what I have with Phuket Girl. Real attraction that goes both ways. She's very attracted to me. Because her previous boyfriends were unusually unattractive. She's practicing hypergamy in terms of looks. Climbing up the ladder and getting something better. It is HER who suggests we shower together. It is HER who initiates sex.

Out of the blue, she'd jump on my lap and rub herself all over me and kisses me. These are the hallmarks of a woman who is genuinely attracted. I can tell, because I had the opposite before.

3 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

He pretends he is not interested in self sufficient women with their own money etc, the real reason is they are not interested in old blokes

Wrong. I've gone on dates with women who owned their own business. They are just as attracted to me as the poorer women. Because you see, at the outset you DON'T know what her economic status is for sure, and neither does she. So it has happened that I've been on dates with a business woman. A very attractive one I remember too. However, they are always far more difficult.

It's not that I'm not "interested" in affluent women. For me it's about attraction. If they'r wealthy or not doesn't really come into it much. It's just I've noticed that these women tend to be more difficult to please, more demanding and a bit of headache.

I'll give you an example. Phuket Girl is not like that. She is ultra lazy. She'd probably never start her own business. She's a homebody who often even refuses to go out, that's how lazy she is. I love that. You don't have to try so hard.

3 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

the poor 'on call girls' are more available to him as long as a large wallet is involved.

Well, that's true of course, it does make things a lot easier. Colour me lazy.

3 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

But she seem to have got the psychology right, she knows her stuff, playing hard to get,

Yes, I think women have much better game than men do as a rule. Phuket Girl may be an avoidant, so she is extra interesting and prone to play it cool.

3 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

"That's why you can't date a college girl in the US normally, they think it's normal to be surrounded by people in their 20s, anyone older looks weird."

That's because it is a fact. It is normal.

Did you hang around with women 35+ years older than you at college?

Actually, I myself was the victim of a 24 year old predator when I was 17, so my relationship life started with an age-gap rel.

35 plus years? Where did you get that from? Seems a bit extreme. But it does actually happen outside of Uni life. Quite often. In the West too. Many younger women go for older men. I can give you tons of examples. Both celebrities and in my own social ciricle.

The point I was making is that Uni life predisposes girls to date only those of their own age. Only when they exit uni to they realise that older people are human beings too, not weirdos.

2 hours ago, theshu25 said:

Quite obviously he like s the lady to be non affluent,so he can try to control them by money. The flip is an absolute control freak. . I love reading this diatribe as he is getting conned and it is good to watch.

When you don't post outright lies you post complete nonsense.

You can never control a woman. Much less with money. The less affluent girls are just easier and more prone to compromising. It's nice.

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

End you ended up in Chiang Mai? What happened to you ?

You should definitely be down in Phuket instead, or not in Thailand at all

That was a very rational decision. I did a tour of Asia, Shanghai, Kuala Lumpur, Taipei, Bangkok, Hua Hin, Phuket and when I arrived in Chiang Mai I knew instantly this is where I wanted to live. It has much less traffic congestion than the other cities, but has almost everything those other cities offer, good restaurants, world class massage, shopping malls, cool day trips and even some extras like amazing cafes.

I much, much prefer Chiang Mai to Phuket, where I found the beaches disappointing, the locals surly and the city uninspiring.

From someone who married a 22 year old at 40 I find recent posts concerning - to state the obvious and as others have said.

That she would only want intermittent contact and if I recall was making appointment times days apart to talk. What happened to wanting to speak to your new partner where ever whenever. Then the phone problems hmmm .. why would she not use the phone of a friend or family as she wishes rather than making contact once in a blue moon and regularly being unavailable.

The election excuse for having to go was bizarre and weakened her argument - no 24 year old especially one like her is going to care. As if half the population return to their homes for some minor election.

This must be you having a laugh as who would give a girl access to their devices and then contact a former love and ask when she is coming to your town.

But if it is to be a thing get a pre nup.

46 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

That was a very rational decision. I did a tour of Asia, Shanghai, Kuala Lumpur, Taipei, Bangkok, Hua Hin, Phuket and when I arrived in Chiang Mai I knew instantly this is where I wanted to live. It has much less traffic congestion than the other cities, but has almost everything those other cities offer, good restaurants, world class massage, shopping malls, cool day trips and even some extras like amazing cafes.

I much, much prefer Chiang Mai to Phuket, where I found the beaches disappointing, the locals surly and the city uninspiring.

I would seriously considered Kuala Lumpur If I had double of what I have. I could live there comfortably now, but if something changes in future, I would had less buffer to play with.

However I agree, Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai is two of my favorite cities inland.

Anyway, Isaan and travelling is a nice combo for us, so that's how it is going to be for now.

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

When you don't post outright lies you post complete nonsense.

You can never control a woman. Much less with money. The less affluent girls are just easier and more prone to compromising. It's nice.

Millions of women are indeed controlled by millions of men all over. Money and assets is one way it's done. Abuse and threats are another. In poor countries like this one, money is used to obtain and as leverage for most men here, especially foreigners. The more independence a woman has, the less chance to control her, especially with money. The more equal things are, the more attraction and chemistry holds a woman. This is also a reason an equal status woman, in regards to a local man's status here will prefer a Thai man. Thai woman are usually more attracted to their own for a few reasons. The ones that are attracted to money first will go with most anyone regardless of looks. True that the poorer a woman here the more chance she might want to end up with a foreigner, for gossip goes a long way when women decide on a partner, and when she sees a friend or family member doing better with a foreigner than previously with locals, she'll want that for herself.

None more blind than those who REFUSE to see.