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They will not say sorry!

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  • Popular Post

Have a GF who completely, totally refuses to say sorry!

 

Like it's her life on the line or something, if she utters the word!

 

Tried withholding money, making her sleep in a different room, stopping all lunches/dinners out at nice restaurants, NOTHING works!

 

I say sorry numerous times in a week, coz I do occasionally <deleted> up in this strange country, with faux pas and stuff, it doesn't bother me to say sorry, or "Khao Thot" in the slightest, it's just an expression, yes?

 

But she will not do so!  I'm thinking about dangling her off  the balcony with a thin thread, but that might get me even deeper in trouble.

 

Can ANYBODY give me an idea on how to make her say the simple and short word "sorry"?  I really want to hear it!

  • Popular Post
4 minutes ago, CanadaSam said:

Have a GF who completely, totally refuses to say sorry!

 

Like it's her life on the line or something, if she utters the word!

 

Tried withholding money, making her sleep in a different room, stopping all lunches/dinners out at nice restaurants, NOTHING works!

 

I say sorry numerous times in a week, coz I do occasionally <deleted> up in this strange country, with faux pas and stuff, it doesn't bother me to say sorry, or "Khao Thot" in the slightest, it's just an expression, yes?

 

But she will not do so!  I'm thinking about dangling her off  the balcony with a thin thread, but that might get me even deeper in trouble.

 

Can ANYBODY give me an idea on how to make her say the simple and short word "sorry"?  I really want to hear it!

Leave her alone, move out or kick her out, then she will say sorry, and learn to appreciate saying sorry. Do not take her back first week, not the second and then see how it evolves before you take her back. 

 

Good luck 

 

to be honest, you are far beyond that point, and should left long time ago and never looked back

  • Popular Post

Simple question, does she know and have you specifically told her she needs to apologise ?

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  • Popular Post
14 minutes ago, CanadaSam said:

Can ANYBODY give me an idea on how to make her say the simple and short word "sorry"?  I really want to hear it!

Maybe she doesn’t pity you and thinks you should just man-up.

  • Popular Post
15 minutes ago, CanadaSam said:

Have a GF who completely, totally refuses to say sorry!

 

Like it's her life on the line or something, if she utters the word!

 

Tried withholding money, making her sleep in a different room, stopping all lunches/dinners out at nice restaurants, NOTHING works!

 

I say sorry numerous times in a week, coz I do occasionally <deleted> up in this strange country, with faux pas and stuff, it doesn't bother me to say sorry, or "Khao Thot" in the slightest, it's just an expression, yes?

 

But she will not do so!  I'm thinking about dangling her off  the balcony with a thin thread, but that might get me even deeper in trouble.

 

Can ANYBODY give me an idea on how to make her say the simple and short word "sorry"?  I really want to hear it!

You know you can just walk away, right?

21 minutes ago, CanadaSam said:

Can ANYBODY give me an idea on how to make her say the simple and short word "sorry"?  I really want to hear it!

No, you don't ...

 

Show her the door and tell her not to come back.

 

Do you really live a life like this ... 

 

... "Tried withholding money, making her sleep in a different room, stopping all lunches/dinners out at nice restaurants, NOTHING works!" ... 

 

Or worse, she really puts up with such silliness.   Sounds like a match made in heaven :cheesy:

  • Popular Post

Saying sorry is not a thai thing really, they show respect in other ways, than verbally say they are sorry. Saying sorry is something western people do, and those who maybe excuse themselves most, is Japanese. Thai not so much, if not completely taken with their pants down, even they say sorry, it doesnt comes without an excuse. 

  • Popular Post

Why even care? Are you in high school?

 

What does she have to say "sorry" for? If it's nothing serious then ignore it. If it is serious and really upsets you, then tell her to leave or walk away yourself. Works a charm and will make you happier.

 

 

  • Popular Post

Funny, you should bring this issue up.

I've always wondered if it's just my wife or all Thais. In 11 years, I don't remember my wife ever saying she was sorry. And, when I point out what she did wrong, she gets defensive, angry, and quiet. So, I've learned to let the small things go, and try to politely explain how to do something, rather than scold her. My life is so much better when I talk sweet rather than with dog mouth.

 

I was taught to recognize my mistakes and to say I'm sorry. Not all cultures or people do that. Maybe it's a low face thing. Good luck...

Title shoud be SHE  they   will not say sorry. 

  • Author

Thank you all for your sugestions.  Need you to know, after almost 5 years here in LOS, she is the ONLY girl I've found, who is loyal, trustworthy, not that much interested in money, and her family are also really good people!

 

I'm SERIOUSLY thinking of marrying her, but the ONLY thing is that "loss of face" thing, where she believes if she says sorry, she's going to hell or something, I dunno.

 

HAVE to find a way to get her to say it, because I can not imagine a life with her never being able to say it, it's necessary in my culture, to just say it, and forget it.

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

Saying sorry is not a thai thing really, they show respect in other ways, than verbally say they are sorry. Saying sorry is something western people do, and those who maybe excuse themselves most, is Japanese. Thai not so much, if not completely taken with their pants down, even they say sorry, it doesnt comes without an excuse. 

From my experiences I disagree.

  • Author

I GOT IT!  Sorry for the caps, but somebody showed her this thread, and those of you who said "kick her out" etc., I guess resonated within her pea brain, and I got my apology!

 

I sincerely thank all of you that participated, a very happy ending to a really distressing week.  I love you all!

 

TC, Sam.

  • Popular Post

Saying ‘Khao Thot’ or Deep-Fried Rice Balls is maybe not the right expression to use!

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

From my experiences I disagree.

My wife do, but I guess it comes with personality and learned experience. Just asked my wife, and in her family or her experience with Thais, Mirrors my previous experience. Thailand got 67 millions and for sure there is differences and different ways of paying respect and ways of showing you are sorry without saying it

3 hours ago, CanadaSam said:

... resonated within her pea brain ...

 

You say this about her and then claim to be seriously thinking about marrying her.  She should be the one telling you to hit the road.

 

Oh, and Canadians are famous for saying "sorry" too often and ingenuously.  Quit trying to force your insipid culture on this Thai woman. 

  • Popular Post
6 hours ago, CanadaSam said:

I say sorry numerous times in a week

Maybe she's not a massive 🐈 like you 

6 hours ago, CanadaSam said:

Have a GF who completely, totally refuses to say sorry!

 

Like it's her life on the line or something, if she utters the word!

 

Tried withholding money, making her sleep in a different room, stopping all lunches/dinners out at nice restaurants, NOTHING works!

 

I say sorry numerous times in a week, coz I do occasionally <deleted> up in this strange country, with faux pas and stuff, it doesn't bother me to say sorry, or "Khao Thot" in the slightest, it's just an expression, yes?

 

But she will not do so!  I'm thinking about dangling her off  the balcony with a thin thread, but that might get me even deeper in trouble.

 

Can ANYBODY give me an idea on how to make her say the simple and short word "sorry"?  I really want to hear it!

Does it have something to do with losing face?   It’s an Asian thing. 

4 hours ago, CanadaSam said:

it's necessary in my culture, to just say it, and forget it.

so she is ahead of the game by skipping the first step, why not, saves time and end result is the same

Try changing sorry to I make/made a mistake...

That's how my wife phrases it either as a statement or a question if I point something out....

I don't sweat trivial gafs..... It's easy to pick somebody apart by pointing out their mistakes or what you perceive is a transgression.....

Most Thai women just want to please 95% of the time.....

You take that away from them you get what you deserve.....

Personally, I couldn't live with someone pointing out my flaws? or honest mistakes, then demanding that I apologize......

She must be at a disadvantage, I would have told you fk off - goodbye after a short while.....

Being constantly judged & waiting for the next hammer blow is a terrible way to live.....In any society....

18 hours ago, CanadaSam said:

HAVE to find a way to get her to say it, because I can not imagine a life with her never being able to say it, it's necessary in my culture, to just say it, and forget it.

Trying and insisting so hard to hear the words, "I'm Sorry", make it seem a bit like your asking her to stroke your ego. The words are nice when they are sincere, but they are not magic words. It's not like clicking 'reset' on a computer where everything conveniently returns to the way it was before somebody's feelings were hurt. 

  • Popular Post

Thailand is their country — their culture.
In a culture where keeping face is social currency
admitting fault openly can feel like losing status.
It’s not that Thais don’t feel sorry — they just avoid
drawing attention to the mistake.

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