Hi,

I just like to have your opinions ladies and girls(only women) about a certain matter; what do you feel if you are going out and you'd face one of these situations:

1-You are on a first date with a man and he decided to share half the bill without previously informing you that it will be a Dutch treat( although he drank like a fish!)??

2-You are out with a bunch of people and one of them disappear without paying his/her bill??

3-Your own bf/hubby does not like to go out only because he hates spending money ??

4-Will you insist on going out for certain places without any regard of his budget?

5-You invited some friends to celebrate a certain occasion in a decent restaurant and they would start ordering all the expensive items in the menu that they would never ordered if they would pay em by themselves??

6-If you are out with your friend for a dinner;how would you share the expenses??

How will you react in each situation and did you have some funny or sad experiences in such issues?

Do you fancy the generous man(old gentle men's generation) who would like to pay for his lady?

Is there any forgotten points??Please feel free to add them or leave your comments.

Thanks..

P.S: I always pay for my own self though ,if I am with other people!

Sutnyod's rules of thumb:

1. Whoever invites pays.

2. If both parties agreed on a certain restaurant they either go dutch or fight over paying (i.e. there the old toilet trick will be applied)

3. For business meetings: the one with the bigger wallet pays

3. a) The one who wants information pays

3. b ) The one who is after a favour pays

4. Farang and Thai: The Thai will always fight to pay, so we have to be inventive to prevent them to (if we want to). My favoured trick that works well in places that have a card payable upon exit: ask them to read/explain things to you that are behind them while you switch their card for an empty one (works best when you are two Farangs and one keeps her card empty)

When I was new to Asia I was quite surprised that the men always insisted on paying. That was not how I was brought up. But meanwhile it is okay. I don't mind paying the bill, but I don't like people taking advantage. Like you invited someone for a working dinner and he shows up with a flock of 'relatives'. That's where I have to fight for composure. Way out? I go and pay immediately after the last one has finished eating and before the drinking starts.

edit: my 3 b turned to a smiley with sunglasses

Hi,

I just like to have your opinions ladies and girls(only women) about a certain matter; what do you feel if you are going out and you'd face one of these situations:

1-You are on a first date with a man and he decided to share half the bill without previously informing you that it will be a Dutch treat( although he drank like a fish!)??

The best idea is to sort out who's paying before you get to the restaurant. Whenever I go out I assume that I'm paying for myself. If someone has drunk more & insists on going Dutch, ask for separate bills

2-You are out with a bunch of people and one of them disappear without paying his/her bill??

I allow that once. Anyone can make a mistake, esp if drink's involved. If it happens twice, that person does not get invited out anymore.

3-Your own bf/hubby does not like to go out only because he hates spending money ??

Go out without him

4-Will you insist on going out for certain places without any regard of his budget?

Convoys go at the speed of the slowest vehicle. Unless someone else is paying for them, group social events should go at the budget of the most financially constrained person.

5-You invited some friends to celebrate a certain occasion in a decent restaurant and they would start ordering all the expensive items in the menu that they would never ordered if they would pay em by themselves??

Make sure you repay the compliment when they invite you out. No, seriously, let it go. If it's a real problem, don't invite them to expensive places, or make sure they know it's Dutch

6-If you are out with your friend for a dinner;how would you share the expenses??

Offer to pay. If that wasn't practical, make sure the financial arrangements were known & accepted well in advance

How will you react in each situation and did you have some funny or sad experiences in such issues?

Do you fancy the generous man(old gentle men's generation) who would like to pay for his lady?

Is there any forgotten points??Please feel free to add them or leave your comments.

Thanks..

P.S: I always pay for my own self though ,if I am with other people!

1) I would pay my portion of the bill, leave him his and then not go out with him again I don't expect the man to pay my share if it is known to be dutch, but if he invited me out, he should pay. When I was single and I invited a guy out, I would pay. Fair is fair. And besides, who wants to go out again with a man who drinks heavily on the first date?

2) divide the missing bill among the rest of the group and then never invite that person out again, and let them know why.

3) go without him if he has money but is stingy. invite him and pay for him if he likes to go but doesn't have any money.

4) if he insists on paying then go someplace within his budget. Consideration for one's partner is an important part of any relationship

5) Whew, not real friends then, are they? Bite the bullet, pay the bill and then find different friends.

6)Share expenses unless my friend is poorer than me then I pay.

Don't go out with him in the first place...

Thanks for clearing some rules for me....

6. I'm a woman having a lady friend who secretly paid the bill once. I don't like that. I feel I'm having pressure looking for a chance to pay her back in other occasion. I prefer sharing the bill among friends.

1-You are on a first date with a man and he decided to share half the bill without previously informing you that it will be a Dutch treat( although he drank like a fish!)?? i would pay for wat i ordered dont mind sharing it with him but if i ordered i pay it

2-You are out with a bunch of people and one of them disappear without paying his/her bill?? @@@@ Remember which one did that and dont invite them again

3-Your own bf/hubby does not like to go out only because he hates spending money ??@@@ask him if u dont use money why do u need money for?

4-Will you insist on going out for certain places without any regard of his budget? @@@ possible

5-You invited some friends to celebrate a certain occasion in a decent restaurant and they would start ordering all the expensive items in the menu that they would never ordered if they would pay em by themselves?? @@@ i would say something to them but pretend it just a joke that i have limited budget for this party so becareful wat u order, if over my limit we have to share!

6-If you are out with your friend for a dinner;how would you share the expenses?? @@@ if i invite them i will pay or share i dont mind too.

How will you react in each situation and did you have some funny or sad experiences in such issues? i will just tell them, if they r friends im sure they dont mind my irony joke...hahahaha

Do you fancy the generous man(old gentle men's generation) who would like to pay for his lady? ohh yes sure but not too old please.. Is there any forgotten points??Please feel free to add them or leave your comments. if you love japanese food at Fuji resturant than stop compain about their cheap chopsticks and keep eating

thats' my way....

LMP

1. Being self-sufficient is my policy. I would never expect anyone to pay for me, but if the guy pays for me, I consider it a bonus.

In Thailand going Dutch on a date is not normal. An Icelandic woman told me that in Iceland women pay half on dates; men and women are considered equal. Different cultures.

2. If the person does that repeatedly, soon he or she won’t get invited.

3. If you want to go out, go out without him.

4. No. That would be inconsiderate.

5. If I feel generous, I offer to pay. If I invite friends to a restaurant, all the invitees are expected to pay unless the inviter offers to pay. If I don’t offer to pay yet people don’t dig out their wallets when the bill arrives, I pay, but I might not invite them again.

6. Everyone pays for what he orders. If the food is shared, like sukiyaki, for example, divide the figure on the bill by the number of people. I think in Thailand it is quite common that each person puts in an amount that is slightly larger than his portion. The excess amount is often returned to the payer by the group anyway.

Although Thais generally, like the rest, don’t like paying for others, they usually fight to pay, and it is your responsibility not to ‘lose’ the fight and make sure it ends in a ‘tie’. It is an unspoken rule in Thai culture. My workplace has its own culture, however. At lunch each coworker keeps track of what he orders and pays the exact amount. Water is usually shared so we count how many bottles we have consumed and do the arithmetic. At other workplaces I have been to, fighting to pay is common. That can be kind of annoying if you come from a more ‘direct’ culture.

In some context, like, say, the boss takes his employees out to lunch; if he offers to pay, let him or her pay and thank him or her. If a family dines at a restaurant, the most senior member or the wealthiest pays. It’s the seniority thing.

Do I fancy the generous man who would like to pay for his lady? Not fancy, but I would not mind it at all. In fact if my man is happy to cook and clean and don’t mind that all I do around the house is watch TV, I am fine with that too. If he wants to do half the chores and expects me to do the other half, I am totally cool with that. If he pays for everything and expects me to do all the chores, or the majority thereof, I would refer him to a cleaning agency and then leave.

Paying for others is fine if one feels generous and expects nothing in return. It is not cool if the paying party expects that he or she will be repaid in other occasion.

One time I had dinner with a roommate. When the bill arrived, unlike most civilized persons, she did not touch her purse. So I told her I would pay. She just smiled. You know, a smile does not always make a person look nicer. I earned more than she did, and I might have paid for her even if she offered to pay for herself, but I would have felt better if she had at least offered.

After a while she became oblivious of the water bills and the phone bills that arrive. Eventually I reminded her that she should pay the water bill this month (since I have been paying for too many months already), and she told me, ‘I am busy. Can you pay now and collect money from me later?’ She is usually too ‘busy’ to ‘remember’ to repay. Sometimes she would bring me gifts that I did not ask for, and when I reminded her about the unpaid bills, she would remind me about the gifts she gave me, which I never wanted and never asked for anyway.

Now I think if I go out on a date with a guy and he accepts my offer to pay for him, there may be a second date, but I will think twice before I move in with him.

Hi,

I just like to have your opinions ladies and girls(only women) about a certain matter; what do you feel if you are going out and you'd face one of these situations:

1-You are on a first date with a man and he decided to share half the bill without previously informing you that it will be a Dutch treat( although he drank like a fish!)??

I would have no problem with paying my share -- in fact I prefer it -- but I wouldn't go out with him again on account of the drinking bit.

2-You are out with a bunch of people and one of them disappear without paying his/her bill??

As others have said..last time that person gets invited anywhere.

3-Your own bf/hubby does not like to go out only because he hates spending money ??

Some people are like that. He is not likely to change. Learn to accomodate each other's differences and compromise, e.g. you and he go out to pricey places on special occasions (anniversary etc) and otherwise confione your time out to places that are free or inexpensive; and you satisfy your desire for more dining out etc thru friends.

4-Will you insist on going out for certain places without any regard of his budget?

Of course not. If he can't afford a place I want to go (even on a ciost shared basis), arrange to go there with friends some other time.

5-You invited some friends to celebrate a certain occasion in a decent restaurant and they would start ordering all the expensive items in the menu that they would never ordered if they would pay em by themselves?? I would reconsider my choice of friends.

6-If you are out with your friend for a dinner;how would you share the expenses??

Depends very much on the culture they are from and also the context. if they are Asian, try to pay for both of us and if I fail be sure to get it the next time. If western, share unless there is a clear reason to do toherwise (e.g. one of us öwes"the other for something)

How will you react in each situation and did you have some funny or sad experiences in such issues?

Do you fancy the generous man(old gentle men's generation) who would like to pay for his lady?

Is there any forgotten points??Please feel free to add them or leave your comments.

Thanks..

P.S: I always pay for my own self though ,if I am with other people!

Is there any forgotten points??Please feel free to add them or leave your comments. @@@if you love japanese food at Fuji restaurant than stop company about their cheap chopsticks and keep eating.

LMP

NO, THANKS! If I have to use CHOP STICKS ; I will never go out from the first place

I feel so frustrated of never finding out how to use them!!!

Is there any forgotten points??Please feel free to add them or leave your comments. @@@if you love japanese food at Fuji restaurant than stop company about their cheap chopsticks and keep eating.

LMP

NO, THANKS! If I have to use CHOP STICKS ; I will never go out from the first place

I feel so frustrated of never finding out how to use them!!!

oops sorry actually wanted to say stop Complining not company.....sorry typo.... hahaha u can use it to stick in ur food . hehehe

To little_muppet

Are they the bamboo chopsticks in the plastic bag and to be used only once? If yes, these chopsticks are not harmful. They hopefully don't have the added chemicals.

You can edit your post for that word (company).

lol these issues remind me of a guy i knew back in UK - we always used to say he was 'first out of the taxi, last to the bar' - we used to take the mikey out of him all the time for it and eventually he got the message!!!

I guess I should clear why I needed to know such rules ; cause where I came from it is quite different. Like:

The man should(ought) to pay for everything for the woman in his accompany whether she is a wife, friend, work mate or even if they were mere university students having lunch together. If you refuse accept his (generosity) ;he will be quite offended and take it as an insult of being not adequate enough as a (man), he will think that he is being belittled in his (decency) &(financially relaxed )aspects.

To avoid such embarrassing stuff and to avoid being under the pressure of having someone's making a (favor) as (ANSWER) mentioned in her post, I used to apologize or never been with a company of a man unless he is one of the family, hubby or a (westernized) man.

But when I lived here , I have noticed there is different rules even between already committed or seriously dating couples.

So, I needed guidance on those points to avoid being mis-judged in that matter.

But; I should also add that I had been out with 100% western man (we're only good friends though) and he refused me to pay my bill saying:His father taught him that a lady never should pay when she is with a gentleman!

So I avoided ordering anything for myself whenever we were out even if I were starving! till he accepted me paying sometimes for both . But I still appreciate his (approach) and regard him as a proper gentleman cause he did that as a personal choice and not to address the culture's manners codes.

I do pay whole heartedly for my friends if I do invite them as long there is no fear of (being used) by them.

I do expect that my spouse will provide for me and certainly would cherish his effort to show me around new places and being pampered as a (lady) by a nice super caring gentleman

I did invite once the working staff in my office and I ended up paying the whole month's salary for that dinner cause they ordered all the menu and ironically they take the untouched dishes as (take away) with them (although I had heard that this act is not "proper" common here) anyway; that was the first and the last time I would invite them.

And ;YES! I learned never to lend a 1k here to a friend cause they are usually too busy to remember to pay back their debts.

To little_muppet

Are they the bamboo chopsticks in the plastic bag and to be used only once? If yes, these chopsticks are not harmful. They hopefully don't have the added chemicals.

You can edit your post for that word (company).

Yep i know @ ANSWER , i never complain about their chopsticks and i agree with u that they r very clean , from my Last post i just abit nagging to my ex hahah that he always complains about it everytime and many time trust me. lol

LMP

Zaza, people say if you can, just give your friends the money. Don't let them borrow as it might ruin the friendship.

LMP, LOL. They're a lot better than those plastic chopsticks which look nice but can cause cancer when they contact hot food.