Oriental vs. Occidental. Why all the fuss....??

Due to a water shortage in Ireland.

Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

Thank you.

A grasshopper landed on my balcony intruding my property.

I killed it by cutting of it's head.

Am I now a murderer or a terrorist?

A grasshopper landed on my balcony intruding my property.

I killed it by cutting of it's head.

Am I now a murderer or a terrorist?

According to some less-bright commentators, if you put the head in a freezer, that would make you a terrorist.

A grasshopper landed on my balcony intruding my property.

I killed it by cutting of it's head.

Am I now a murderer or a terrorist?

According to some less-bright commentators, if you put the head in a freezer, that would make you a terrorist.

A grasshopper landed on my balcony intruding my property.

I killed it by cutting of it's head.

Am I now a murderer or a terrorist?

A hero to certain members of the Carradine family............

I am pleased to announce that I have at least 20 fruit in various stages of maturity on the tomatoe plants that Zpete gave me.

I am pleased to announce that I have at least 20 fruit in various stages of maturity on the tomatoe plants that Zpete gave me.

Amazing, I said to Aline it mite be a bit late in the season.

It has been subtropical in Auckland of late.

We are getting a 2nd crop too.

Wow, this notebook's great. I didn't realise they were supposed to be reliable...

Wow, this notebook's great. I didn't realise they were supposed to be reliable...

Then why'd you buy it?

Why did I buy what?

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street; one from London, another from Bristol and the third, Liverpool.

They go with a government official to examine the wall.

The London contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about £900: £400 for materials, £400 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Bristol contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says, 'I can do this job for £700: £300 for materials, £300 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Liverpool contractor doesn't measure or figure but leans over to the Government official and whispers, "£2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?' ...........

The Liverpool contractor whispers back, '£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Bristol to fix the wall.'

'Done!' replies the government official.

And that friends, ...... Is how it all works.

Sounds like where Thai politicians learned the trade........

Unf#*@ingbelievable. I decide to change my cable from Blue Dolphin to PA Cable. I go to Blue Dolphin and tell them that I wish to finish their service as of 31 March. I go to PA Cable and sign up as of 1 April (maybe that was my mistake!).

On 1 April, PA Cable arrives and cuts off Blue Dolphin and feeds through the PA Cable line. Perfect. However, on 4 April, Blue Dolphin arrives and cuts PA Cable (obviously thinking they are cutting their own line). I ring PA Cable and they re-attach their line. I then decide to go and tell Blue Dolphin about their error so that they don't do the same to someone else in the future. All is clearly and carefully explained to them so that there can be no ambiguity. Good. But wait, there's more...

Today, I open the eejit box and yep, I now have Blue Dolphin again - so they must have come early this morning and reconnected it and disconnected PA Cable. <deleted>!

TiT

Unf#*@ingbelievable. I decide to change my cable from Blue Dolphin to PA Cable. I go to Blue Dolphin and tell them that I wish to finish their service as of 31 March. I go to PA Cable and sign up as of 1 April (maybe that was my mistake!).

On 1 April, PA Cable arrives and cuts off Blue Dolphin and feeds through the PA Cable line. Perfect. However, on 4 April, Blue Dolphin arrives and cuts PA Cable (obviously thinking they are cutting their own line). I ring PA Cable and they re-attach their line. I then decide to go and tell Blue Dolphin about their error so that they don't do the same to someone else in the future. All is clearly and carefully explained to them so that there can be no ambiguity. Good. But wait, there's more...

Today, I open the eejit box and yep, I now have Blue Dolphin again - so they must have come early this morning and reconnected it and disconnected PA Cable. <deleted>!

TiT

PMPLMAO................ ha ha ha.

Unf#*@ingbelievable. I decide to change my cable from Blue Dolphin to PA Cable. I go to Blue Dolphin and tell them that I wish to finish their service as of 31 March. I go to PA Cable and sign up as of 1 April (maybe that was my mistake!).

On 1 April, PA Cable arrives and cuts off Blue Dolphin and feeds through the PA Cable line. Perfect. However, on 4 April, Blue Dolphin arrives and cuts PA Cable (obviously thinking they are cutting their own line). I ring PA Cable and they re-attach their line. I then decide to go and tell Blue Dolphin about their error so that they don't do the same to someone else in the future. All is clearly and carefully explained to them so that there can be no ambiguity. Good. But wait, there's more...

Today, I open the eejit box and yep, I now have Blue Dolphin again - so they must have come early this morning and reconnected it and disconnected PA Cable. <deleted>!

TiT

PMPLMAO................ ha ha ha.

And then someone starts a thread on TVF called "Why Do All Thai'S Get Labelled The Same On Thaivisa"

Irony?

I am happy to announce that the letter "T" on my keyboard is now working again.

Spent 2 hours trying to fix one keyboard where the letter "A" & Shift keys only worked spasmodically - threw that one in the cupboard and spent another hour cleaning up this old spare.

Now I've got this keyboard cleaning down to a T .....TTTTTTTTTT

Better go for a cuppa.

Cuppa TTTTTT

TEE hee...........lol

If you add them up and don't drink, you'll get to the Tee Total

But if you DID drink them all, and you were an American Indian, you'd be in danger of drowning in your own teepee.

In order to drink your tea, you will need to boil some water. I can't help you with that, because less than a month ago, I bought a new electric kettle at Supercheap and yep, dead already.

In order to drink your tea, you will need to boil some water. I can't help you with that, because less than a month ago, I bought a new electric kettle at Supercheap and yep, dead already.

Buying kettles from Intelligent parrots is always fraught with danger...........

cheep cheep

cheep cheep

If it's dead already, it will be a Norwegian Blue.............

And since when did parrots go cheep? The ones I know go squawk.

cheep cheep

If it's dead already, it will be a Norwegian Blue.............

It's not dead, it's resting. Pining for the Fjords.

And since when did parrots go cheep? The ones I know go squawk.

The ones that don't go cheap are the ones on higher perches.

(hire purchase)

I'm glad I had my corset on for that one..............

I'm starting to lose weight.....I'm looking sooooooo good!

Where's my tea cosy?