Call me old, aged, foggie, etc. I don't care cos I know just how great I feel!

Call me old, aged, foggie, etc. I don't care cos I know just how great I feel!

My kids call me an ancient "Fogy", I am not dense, foggie .

Lotsa life this mature frame yet.

^^ Tiggs, you won't be saying that in ten or fifteen years!

E:Clarification

^^ Tiggs, you won't be saying that in ten or fifteen years!

E:Clarification

If I'm still alive in 15 years time I'll just say halleluyah!

Halleluyah, brother!

Amen to that!

.

By the way, it's also Leonardo da Vinci's birthday today.

He would have been 556 if he was still alive !

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Leonardo, happy birthday to you.

It is the golden arches birthday too.

The first McDonald's Restaurant opened in Des Plaines, Illinois by McDonald's Corporation founder, Ray Kroc, on April 15, 1955.

Been fattening people ever since.

Have you ever seen the MCSHIT! T-shirt?

Have you ever seen the MCSHIT! T-shirt?

Yeah, actually lotsa Maccas bad taste Ts

I've seen the T-shirt - haven't seen anyone stooooopid enough to wear one, yet...

Why are nocturnal insects attracted to light? Why don't they just get up in the day time?

I've seen the T-shirt - haven't seen anyone stooooopid enough to wear one, yet...

For fear of seeming stoooooopid I guess I wont mention what I found when cleaning out the wardrobe last week then...

Why is it that I seem to drop in to 'random posts' expecting random posts? When in reality very few are random?

A couple of special Birthday Greetings for today 16th April :-

Charlie Chaplin (Sir Charles (Spencer) ‘Charlie’ Chaplin) 1889

Spike Milligan 1918

Sir Peter Ustinov 1921

Mary Isabel Catherine Bernadette O’Brien 1939 – Better known as :-

Dusty Springfield

I've seen the T-shirt - haven't seen anyone stooooopid enough to wear one, yet...

For fear of seeming stoooooopid I guess I wont mention what I found when cleaning out the wardrobe last week then...

Yep, been down that path also (throwing out embarassingly stoooopid old T-shirts that I've bought on a pished whim when younger).

Those same T-shirts were in excellent condition, too (for obvious reasons).

A couple of special Birthday Greetings for today 16th April :-

Charlie Chaplin (Sir Charles (Spencer) ‘Charlie’ Chaplin) 1889

Spike Milligan 1918

Sir Peter Ustinov 1921

Mary Isabel Catherine Bernadette O’Brien 1939 – Better known as :-

Dusty Springfield

UUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrhhhuuuuummmmm..........................! :D :D

redrus

Spike Milligan should actually be inducted into the Bedlam Hall of Fame.

Would anybody like to 2nd this nomination ?

Spike Milligan should actually be inducted into the Bedlam Hall of Fame.

Would anybody like to 2nd this nomination ?

I'll second it!

Spike Milligan could be our patron saint!

Spike Milligan should actually be inducted into the Bedlam Hall of Fame.

Would anybody like to 2nd this nomination ?

I'll second it!

Spike Milligan could be our patron saint!

After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I don't mind dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Kan Win

Nice ones Kan, I read all his books years ago. I was just thinking that I must re-visit them!

Spike Milligan should actually be inducted into the Bedlam Hall of Fame.

Would anybody like to 2nd this nomination ?

I'll second it!

Spike Milligan could be our patron saint!

Kan weeeee have 2 patron saint "suegha"

Tommy Cooper

Jokes - One liners (Cooperisms)

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age. 'The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well. '

'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine. 'So that was nice.'

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'

The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'

A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'

The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners

'So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'

And a voice said, 'You are.'

'So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ' Is that the local swimming baths?' He said ' It depends where you're calling from.'

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind' ,

so he gave me a kite.

I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu.

So I went, and I got it.'

I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty.........but she's great with the kids!

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house'. He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Kan Win

Classics. It was his delivery that made the corniest joke funny!

Spike Milligan and Tommy Cooper. Two excellent selections. I note you've started another thread re this. I was initially thinking (from that thread) that you were starting a Bedlam hall of fame for notable Bedlamites who, unfortunately, went MIA. Now something like that would be worth pinning (if you could convince the Mods).

Spike Milligan and Tommy Cooper. Two excellent selections. I note you've started another thread re this. I was initially thinking (from that thread) that you were starting a Bedlam hall of fame for notable Bedlamites who, unfortunately, went MIA. Now something like that would be worth pinning (if you could).

Sorry "Khun Ping" I wood never, ever be

pinning

you.

Yours as always

Kan Win

^ Thank gawd for that!

.

The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

Pink blob on my gal's boob is called a 'tittie'

Pink blob on my gal's boob is called a 'tittie'

Nurse Diesel will be round with your medication shortly Zpete

and the syringe is "Gigantic"..........