AFL v NRL <BR><BR>This will open your eyes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR><BR>What do we have here???????<BR><BR>AFL or NRL ?<BR>Guess ! ! <BR><BR>36 have been accused of spouse abuse<BR>7 have been arrested for fraud <BR>19 have been accused of writing bad cheques<BR>117 have directly or been indirectly bankrupted.at, at least 2 businesses<BR>3 have done time for assault<BR>71;cannot get a credit card due to bad credit <BR>14 have been arrested on drug-related charges<BR>8 have been arrested for shoplifting<BR>21 are defendants in lawsuits and <BR>84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year<BR><BR>Can you guess which organization this is? <BR>AFL? NRL<BR><BR>Give up yet? . . . <BR>Scroll down <BR><BR>Nieher, it's the 535  members of the AUSTRALIAN PARLIAMENT IN CANBERRA <BR><BR>The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year, designed to keep the rest of us in line<BR><BR>You've got to pass this one on.

Wotta cock up....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFL v NRL What organisation?

This will open your eyes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do we have here???????

AFL or NRL ?

Guess ! !

36 have been accused of spouse abuse.

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad cheques.

117;have directly or been indirectly bankrupted.at, at least 2 businesses.

3 have done time for assault.

71;cannot get a credit card due to bad credit.

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges.

8 have been arrested for shoplifting.

21 are defendants in lawsuits.

84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Can you guess which organization this is?

AFL , NRL

Give up yet? . . .

Scroll down

Niether, it's the 535 members of the AUSTRALIAN PARLIAMENT IN CANBERRA

The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year, designed to keep the rest of us in line

You've got to pass this one on.

And that's only the Liberal Party!

I wonder if it's true or another one of those chain mails simmilar in nature and motive as the "refugees getting so much more in social welfare benefits than Oz-born citizens" hoax.

I doubt that it's possible to exaggerate the dirty deeds of politicians.

Everything else I can understand, however: Shop-lifting! Hillarious!

WARNING : ONLY Read This Once You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD.

You will laugh - guaranteed! ENJOY!!

I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to s**t yourself'

road-kill chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite

habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.

Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Bunnings, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the den.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.

Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, Shit, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time..

The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt.

In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the

direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me.

Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red aproned clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two

different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees.

This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. .......BIG mistake!!!!!

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether

region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging.

One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-bitch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.

Once finished and I left the restroom, re-acquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir,

you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing

at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return .

Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Woolies. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter.

Hadda post it sumplace, BUNNINGS is in OZ

The moral of the story is never follow australian redneck in Bunnings, they are full of &lt;deleted&gt;!!

The moral of the story is never follow australian redneck in Bunnings, they are full of &lt;deleted&gt;!!

You do know Pete is a Nu Zelunder, don't you Nignoy?

The moral of the story is never follow australian redneck in Bunnings, they are full of &lt;deleted&gt;!!

You do know Pete is a Nu Zelunder, don't you Nignoy?

The moral of the story is never follow australian redneck in Bunnings, they are full of &lt;deleted&gt;!!

You do know Pete is a Nu Zelunder, don't you Nignoy?

must be an echo I could swear I read that twice :jap:

Just a second bowl of chilli repeating again (and again, and again ....)

A talking chilli bowl !!!

Now that's show business.

I seem to be repeating myself a lot lately.

I still havent come to terms with this new version of forum.

I seem to be repeating myself a lot lately.

I still havent come to terms with this new version of forum.

We all have a stutter, occasionally.

We all have a stutter, occasionally.

We all have a stutter, occasionally

This should be in a ..........pommie page..

Today's Stupid Quote

"Do you still throw spears at each other?"

- Prince Philip

(to an Aboriginal businessman in

traditional dress)

The aboriginees on this forum don't throw spears, but they do throw the occasional dart.

This should be in a ..........pommie page..

Today's Stupid Quote

"Do you still throw spears at each other?"

- Prince Philip

(to an Aboriginal businessman in

traditional dress)

Surely 'e's edificated enuff to know that they use boomerangs and didgerywhatsits? We 'ad Rolf 'arris over in Blighty for years, teachin' us orl abart Austeraleeyar.

Why is it always the Poms and the Aussies that are always at each other, but the Canucks seem remote from either?

Why is it always the Poms and the Aussies that are always at each other, but the Canucks seem remote from either?

Could you imagined the effect a thirty page thread slagging off your southern neighbours would have?

Outrage, hysteria and bursting in to tears wouldn't begin to cover it.

But then we know that we're....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIrCFrFpHvw

Why is it always the Poms and the Aussies that are always at each other, but the Canucks seem remote from either?

what cannot really pick on the canucks, bit like declaring war on the the beverly hillbillies what has canada got that any one else wants, ice hockey pucks and the maple syrup mines, so in the frozen north they have a bit of gas and oil , and some of their truckies can drive on ice,and the days of canadian troops raping and pillaging are long gone, canucks seem like the poor rellies of the english speaking world, and then of course there are the french canadianswith their bushy beards , hairy armpits and garlic breath and thats just the women,aussies and poms always have a go at each other, sledging is a national pastime in both countries, but when the bugle calls we are all brothers in arms, many poms like me are also australians!! got the best of both worlds, what has canada got?? looking at it from here nothing worth having really :jap:

Hope This answers your question

You're probably right, Nignoy. Canadians are sort of treated like American castoffs. We are too close to the Yanks to be taken as a separate entity.

There are a few reasons why I spend my winters in Thailand and my summers in BC

Amazed to see you wear the same jacket for both jobs!

Where do you apply for the second one?

I doubt they would warrant being part of a state.

How about Norfolk Island South and Norfolk Island Further South?

I think that "Lord Howe about that eh bro Island" has a certain charm

CB

Amazed to see you wear the same jacket for both jobs!

Where do you apply for the second one?

Actually, they are different jackets. One is thick fleece and the other is a very light fleece. Both are very comfortable... and almost like pyjamas which I never wear.

As far as the other job is concerned, it depends on how well you can draw.

Why is it always the Poms and the Aussies that are always at each other, but the Canucks seem remote from either?

Well the Ockors, (Anagram for crooks) were transported from mother England.

They are still crooks, pinch anything, speshully from NZ.

Our boys, the NZ soccer team, embraced by Oz

Hugh was in Sydney last weekend and spotted this in an article in the Sydney Morning Herald on Saturday.

"The Australasian All Whites:

If Holland lose against Spain this weekend, there will be one, and one only, nation that will finish the World Cup undefeated - our fine lads."

I reckon Old Croc, shouldbe "Old Crook"

[/b]I reckon Old Croc, shouldbe "Old Crook"

I've been called a lot worse on these forums.

Interesting to note which two wannabees are the top posters on this Australia thread.

I have often thought of starting a ..........

KIWI KOLUMN..

Dunno if there would be many Kiwi jokers in here to carry on the fun.

Could be quite interesting, "All ya wanna know about NZ".

I read OZ papers as well as Thai most days.

You could start an "other colonies" thread with Ian. You may even find a lonely South African somewhere to join the fun.

I have often thought of starting a ..........

KIWI KOLUMN..

Dunno if there would be many Kiwi jokers in here to carry on the fun.

Could be quite interesting, "All ya wanna know about NZ".

I read OZ papers as well as Thai most days.

The main problem would be cuz is finding enuf kiwis that can read :jap:

You could start an "other colonies" thread with Ian. You may even find a lonely South African somewhere to join the fun.

Call it the " Wanna Be Brits" thread. Then all the yanks can join in as well

You could start an "other colonies" thread with Ian. You may even find a lonely South African somewhere to join the fun.

Call it the " Wanna Be Brits" thread. Then all the yanks can join in as well

You obviously don't realise that the term "Y*nk" is culturally offensive to all Americans born below the Mason Dixon Line?