Ok, so we all know that perpetual motion is impossible. But since arriving in Thailand, and especially in the last few months, I'm being constantly struck by how closely some Thai's, usually men, approach this holy-grail of energy conservation/consumption. I'm referring, of course, to what happens whenever a Thai gets on his hind legs and picks-up a microphone. Now, I realise that the population of the world can be divided into two, main camps; those who like meetings and (the vast majority) those that detest them. But the twice-monthly meetings at my college are turned into a near living-hel_l by these verbose cretins that love the sound of their own voices and assume that everyone else does too. These cosy get-togethers occur after work and, looking at what needs to be said, should be over within the hour. But no; they can drag-on for anything up-to three and a half hours, simply because some people have this love affair with the microphone. It's the same at any Thai function, I've noticed. Give then the flimsiest reason for public speaking and an operational PA system and at least half an hour of tedium will ensue. At my wife's college sports day, back in January, some local political big noodle was invited to open the thing. But what did he do after all the kowtowing, wai-ing and general arse-licking? Did he just say something like "It's a great pleasure and honour to be invited to share your special day today. I hope that you all have a lot of fun etc, etc" 2 minutes, tops? Oh no; it went-on for about twenty-five minutes, honestly. The students, who were all stood out in the sun, must have been as pissed-off as I was. Two girls fainted and had to be carted-off. I remember thinking "Only two things are going to stop this clown; a power-cut or death." Luckily for all concerned, I think he noticed the second girl being carried away and he cut it down to the bare minimum.

Have any of you been exposed to "TML" or Thai Microphone Lunacy?

Every bloody day weeks before ant poxy local election !!!

Yeah, and we have another one here now. All the posters are up showing these tossers in their ludicrous uniforms and the loudspeaker trucks are doing their thing. What now, for chrissakes?

A couple of months back, when I was still living in the village, we had a new farang move in a few doors down (Chris, French, nice bloke) My house was close enough to the tannoy system for it to be annoying, his was right underneath it.

One day the Puy Yai starts his broadcast at 6am and at 9am he is still going....... then I heard him say "a farang has just given me 200 Baht to shut up" ....... and then he prattled on for another 90 minutes.

A microphone and a captive audience can be a bad combination anywhere, here it is taken to the extreme.

haha, yes,

They all want to be stars. I have found the same to be true with Indians. Maybe it's an Asian thing?!?

Yeh, Ghandi was a bit a a gabbler wasn't he, you couldn't shut the bloke up.

I offer this premise..... the person most likely to be offered the microphone (or actually grasp it without it being proffered) is usually the same person that has managed to overtalk all his/her peers in any given gathering without the need for amplification, and takes it as a divine right to bore the arse off anyone present, this works in a small town.

Once larger status has been assumed/awarded, the microphone is something to be avoided, as your latter day peers may realise what a total cretin you are....... this does not apply if you end up as the PM of the country.

Sorry, politics, I'll shut up now.

Oh deary me yes I have and do everything in my power to avoid going to places where one might encounter these blatherers droning on and on listening to the sound of their own voice

Fidel Castro

Muammar Ghadaffi

Err ,,, Ummm ... Tony Blair

It's always the politicians or wannabe politicians.

It's the Empty Pot syndrome

Thaddeus - were you near this disputed temple before? Only I recall you complaining about army movement in the area and wondered ....

Thaddeus - were you near this disputed temple before? Only I recall you complaining about army movement in the area and wondered ....

Not the one in Sisaket (I'm close, but not that close) However I am (or was before I moved) incredibly close to one who name escapes me for the moment which is not much more than a pile of rubble, and I have recently discovered that the ownership of that one is being disputed by the Cambodians, just not enough to make the news, but the helicopters have started to fly again.

To make matters worse, they have unearthed another one not 100 yards from the ex-pat bar here in town, which they are now carefully excavating using JCBs (seriously) Whenever you try to tell the locals that where we are stood used to be part of Cambodia not so long ago it is strongly denied "it's always been Thailand" then when you ask them why their entire village speaks Khmen, you just get told to shut up.

Here's a good example of perpetual motion (now that we have started to go off the intended topic)

The Galaxy Song

(can you tell I've got youtube back)

Wow, I'd forgotten about this one Taddy!

Yeh, Ghandi was a bit a a gabbler wasn't he, you couldn't shut the bloke up.

I offer this premise..... the person most likely to be offered the microphone (or actually grasp it without it being proffered) is usually the same person that has managed to overtalk all his/her peers in any given gathering without the need for amplification, and takes it as a divine right to bore the arse off anyone present, this works in a small town.

Once larger status has been assumed/awarded, the microphone is something to be avoided, as your latter day peers may realise what a total cretin you are....... this does not apply if you end up as the PM of the country.

Sorry, politics, I'll shut up now.

Actually, that's a good point, Thaddy. Usually these bods speak just as loudly with the microphone as without it. I don't think they've twigged that the mike's doing the work for them and then tone it down a bit. That, and the usual bang, bang on the thing before they speak even though it worked perfectly well for the previous user.

I'd like to take issue with the title of this thread : The impossibility of perpetual motion.

The Americans developed a perpetual motion device decades ago. It is the meter that can be found in all NYC taxi cabs. If the technology is ever transferred to Thailand the moans about Pattaya's non-meter meter cabs will pale into insignificance.

Our meetings with our Vietnamese client not only drag on for hours as each one has his 15++ minutes of fame but descend into farce with their meetings within a meeting and loud conversations on the bluddy mobile phones. If that's not bad enough once their off the phones we have to go back and rerun all that they missed only to find they don't agree with the conclusion and off we go again.

We also have our weekly whinge meeting with the contactor and their sub-contractors where everybody blames everybody else. I'd rather be subjected to 8 hours of waterboarding than two hours of this mind numbing torture. I'm thinking of taking my case to the European Court of Human Rights.

As for the loudspeakers up the poles, we also have them here in Viet Nam. Every morning and evening they spout the news and propaganda followed by music for an hour or so. Some of the Vietnamese music is okay, quite relaxing but a few months back we were sitting having a beer when they played Tubular Bells. Now that's definately a bit of alright in my book, signs of cultural progress maybe (depending on your opinion).

The first 4 mins...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYmIKcP7Nbc