My wife has six nieces, three are university educated with good, well paid jobs. They are attractive, personable girls between 23 and 30, and not only unmarried, have no current prospects of marriage on the remote horizon.

The three other nieces, all younger, took less strenuous educational paths and remain at home in the village happily married.

The "smart" girls had boyfriends at college but the relationships ended with graduation.

I have several theories on this, the main being that while many girls from peasant farming backgrounds take the difficult road to higher education, few boys do. Subsequently the girls mix with boys from a higher socio-economic strata and while the lads are happy to frolic with them in the carefree school days, when they start work their parents firmly direct them towards potential wives from their own class.

These girls are then left with no male companions that they are prepared to have a relationship with; they are not going to accept courtship by the village lads, the single ones are much younger and in considerable awe of them, which only leaves the prospect of affairs with married work mates which I suspect they will eventually drift into.

Do you think this is fairly normal in Thailand? I'm pretty remote so I don't see a lot of other examples and would be interested to hear your views, particularly from those in the teaching profession.

Interesting idea. I employ a number of female staff in Pattaya (office work) that fit this descripion; education (level varies) without Thai BF/husband. The fact that they work for a living seems to be an issue from what some have said - they feel that 'all' Thai men are lazy and worthless. From what I see it is the educated (language skills) ones that are seeking 'relationships' from overseas via the internet, IMs or dating sites.

Its been my experience as well, scead.

Thai people, at least where I live, are very class oriented and I know that my MIL was disappointed that my husband did not marry a local land owning girl to supplement their own land holdings.

While there are educated and well to do local men on this island (and no, not all Thai men are lazy and worthless, just perhaps, the ones these girls can attract) if they do marry locally they marry girls of their own class.

The theory that educated Thai women think Thai men are lazy and worthless is a popular one with male expats. They justify the myth by pointing out a few idle tuktuk drivers who live off of scams and ignore the many laborers who work hard for small wages. When I built my house I employed mainly uneducated men from the village and was impressed with their work ethic and the pride they took in what they did.

If the girls we're talking about express interest in marrying foreigners it would be for financial reasons, the obstacles in this type of relationship are huge and they would have heard all about them. The language and cultural differences take a lot of patience and tolerance to get around.

My husband has a cousin, educated at an Australian university, she wanted to stay there as she had met a nice guy and was looking to settle down. Her mother put her foot down and insisted she come home. So, home she came, to an island where all the decent guys in her class were already married or moved away, and not really qualified as a wife for the upper class guys as her family isn't that well to do and doesn't own much land. Off she went to Bangkok, where she dates but remains single to this day. She is about 38.

When I first came to Thailand, I met a beautiful, young Thai girl who spoke fluent English and sold tours in a hotel. She met a handsome young man from America and he courted her for several years, but her parents would not allow her to marry him. Finally, they forced her to marry a young Thai, tour guide that they approved of and she tried to make the best of it even though he was not faithful to her and hardly ever came home. After being married for 6 or 7 years, she found out that he had been carrying loads of heroin in his van and had been busted. He was sentenced to life in prison.

Everyone knew that she loved the American boy, but he had been gone for a long time and although she was still attractive, she was not the beauty that she had been. She divorced the Thai man and found an old, wealthy Englishman in his 60s who loved to travel and she has been happy ever sense!

An occupational hazard with Chiang Mai tour guiding.

My Mrs, a former guide, says a large number of her former colleagues are either dead from drug over doses or in prison. She says that for years drugs were the "currency" of the mountain people and used to bribe guides to take tourists to their villages.

Many people she worked with succumbed to temptation and started using or dealing.

The scenario seems to fit. Wife and her sister are university educated. Other 3 sisters are not. Both educated girls live in BKK. The others remain in the village. My wife's sister is not married and has just seriously started looking for farang romance on the internet not seeming to have any prospects in BKK. From what I have seen there are no prospects back in the village as even the guys that are available and a good prospect are more interested in local girls who are 18-20, not a 30ish independent thinking type whose used to taking care of herself in BKK.

My wife had an affair with a married thai guy who was over 40 when she was just out of university. Perhaps she was lonely having come to BKK after finishing study. Or it could have been that a married guy was safer and more convenient than a single guy more her age. the married guy wouldn;t want to move in with her and desert his family and she could still have time to herself when she wanted it. It would seem the "gig" relationship was convenient for her at the time.

When I met her she was working in an office where there were lots of prospects but not much seemed to happen. Most of the guys working in the company were from better BKK families and were destined for advancement whereas the women did the more menial office type jobs and were more likely to hook up with the office motorcycle messenger than any of the supervisors or management trainees. Many of the girls in the office from 5 years ago are still single, over 30 and given up looking locally but maintain extensive social networks on the internet. Marrying the motorcycle taxi driver (or anybody) for love regardless of their social status just doesn't get considered. Realistically, all those single girls could get married for love tomorrow if they wanted to, but they're just not willing to. It's got to be love + money + status + family + land + future prospects + sin sod + + + + +. No wonder they'll never get married.

This is not only a Thai problem. Also in Japan and Singapore and in many other Asian countries Educated women who have a good career even don't like to be married because they enyoi there freedom and once they married its expected that they pla

This is not only a Thai problem. Also in Japan and Singapore and in many other Asian countries Educated women who have a good career even don't like to be married because they enyoi there freedom and once they married its expected that they pla

That they must confirm themselves to the tradition of being a servant of the husband, and they simply don't want to do that.

Quit a few of single Thai career women have non binding love affairs outside of their daily social circle, even in other towns, so nobody will know about it. And they don't want it any other way, because they see the reality of married women in Thailand who left alone whit the children after their husband takes off.

Also many men are intimidated by a woman who have a successful career, this you can see also in the states and Europe where many successful career women in there 30's and 40's are still single and can't find a suitable husband who is there equal.

Interesting idea. I employ a number of female staff in Pattaya (office work) that fit this descripion; education (level varies) without Thai BF/husband. The fact that they work for a living seems to be an issue from what some have said - they feel that 'all' Thai men are lazy and worthless. From what I see it is the educated (language skills) ones that are seeking 'relationships' from overseas via the internet, IMs or dating sites.

My experience with such Thai ladies of this class, they tend to seek out their own in a partner. Successful and educated Thai guys. Seems to work...

Ditto my Filipina partner,

Uni grad, we have a great relationship.

TOO hard to find a Thai gal I was able to have a REAL, worldly conversation/discussion with.

My wife has six nieces, three are university educated with good, well paid jobs. They are attractive, personable girls between 23 and 30, and not only unmarried, have no current prospects of marriage on the remote horizon.

The three other nieces, all younger, took less strenuous educational paths and remain at home in the village happily married.

The "smart" girls had boyfriends at college but the relationships ended with graduation.

I have several theories on this, the main being that while many girls from peasant farming backgrounds take the difficult road to higher education, few boys do. Subsequently the girls mix with boys from a higher socio-economic strata and while the lads are happy to frolic with them in the carefree school days, when they start work their parents firmly direct them towards potential wives from their own class.

These girls are then left with no male companions that they are prepared to have a relationship with; they are not going to accept courtship by the village lads, the single ones are much younger and in considerable awe of them, which only leaves the prospect of affairs with married work mates which I suspect they will eventually drift into.

Do you think this is fairly normal in Thailand? I'm pretty remote so I don't see a lot of other examples and would be interested to hear your views, particularly from those in the teaching profession.

This happened to several Thai women that I know. My thought is that if the farming family has sons, they stay to help with the farming. The wealthy families have sons in colleges - and due to their social standing, are not permitted by family to marry a college educated lady from a farm. A continuum of the backwards thinking that those from poorer families are not worthy, and I would think, very discouraging for the women. On the other hand, this provides opportunities for foreign men who do not live under such ignorant beliefs and restrictions.

Good point.

My wife has six nieces, three are university educated with good, well paid jobs. They are attractive, personable girls between 23 and 30, and not only unmarried, have no current prospects of marriage on the remote horizon.

The three other nieces, all younger, took less strenuous educational paths and remain at home in the village happily married.

The "smart" girls had boyfriends at college but the relationships ended with graduation.

I have several theories on this, the main being that while many girls from peasant farming backgrounds take the difficult road to higher education, few boys do. Subsequently the girls mix with boys from a higher socio-economic strata and while the lads are happy to frolic with them in the carefree school days, when they start work their parents firmly direct them towards potential wives from their own class.

These girls are then left with no male companions that they are prepared to have a relationship with; they are not going to accept courtship by the village lads, the single ones are much younger and in considerable awe of them, which only leaves the prospect of affairs with married work mates which I suspect they will eventually drift into.

Do you think this is fairly normal in Thailand? I'm pretty remote so I don't see a lot of other examples and would be interested to hear your views, particularly from those in the teaching profession.

I think you may have a point. My own observation has been simmilar.

My GF has a degree (I've seen it and her graduation photos), as do her sister and cousins. The GF had a few BF's during her Uni days, but stopped that when she returned home. The GF is 33 now, two cousins are older than her and have nursing degrees, a sister and another cousin that are a year or two younger and also have degrees...my GF is the only one amongst them with a steady partner. They all live in Uttaradit, which is not rural rural, but it's certainly not the big city. The family does have land and is comfortable....but the educated girls are all single.