From today's Telegraph UK.

Women believe men should take out bins and mow lawns

Mowing the lawn, cleaning the windows and putting the bins out are jobs that women believe should be carried out by the man of the house, a study has found.

The list of 'his 'n hers' chores emerged following a study of 5,000 adults into which sex is responsible for everyday jobs around the house.

Women also ruled out getting things out of the loft, removing sticky lids from jars and unblocking the lavatory.

Meanwhile men believe women's jobs include remembering birthdays and anniversaries, organising the social calendar and replacing the toilet roll when it runs out.

A spokesman for www.TheBabyWebsite.com, which carried out the survey, said: "There is a very clear divide between the chores men and women will do, but at least it shows that both sexes are responsible for the running of the household.

"There seems to be a general trend that women are responsible for the day to day chores, such as keeping the house clean and tidy.

The top 20 men's jobs according to the survey:

1.Getting things out of the loft

2.Investigating strange noises in the night

3.Putting out the bins/ going to the tip

4.Topping up oil / radiator / screen wash /washing the car

5.Mowing the lawn

6.Edge and hedge-trimming

7.Reading instructions for new gadgets

8.Getting spiders out of the bath

9.Unblocking the lavatory with a plunger

10.Putting up shelves

11.Fixing broken toys

12.Building flat-pack furniture

13.Removing sticky lids from jars

14.Washing up after dinner

15.Setting the television to recording programmes

16.Anything car-related

17.Sunday morning paper-run

18.Cleaning windows

19.Sweeping the driveway

20.Carving the roast

The top 20 women's jobs:

1.Remembering birthdays / anniversaries

2.Treating the children's head lice / verrucas

3.Changing bed linen

4.Buying presents

5.Pairing up clean socks

6.Organising the social calendar

7.Washing clothes

8.Baking cakes for the school

9.Organising the children's social life 1

0.Removing the children's ear wax

11.School packed lunches

12.Ironing

13.Binning out-of-date food

14.Dusting

15.Cleaning the oven

16.Replacing the lavatory rolls

17.Attending children's parties

18.Changing nappies

19.Booking the babysitter

20.Cleaning up if the children are sick

Seems a good split to me especially if you live in a condo.

Anyone actually have a split of responsibilities like this with their partner?

Sounds about right. Got no issue with that at all! At the moment im living on my own, but yes, has always pretty much as that list.

...BUT, I do appreciate the when a guy will do some washing up and make dinner, particularly if we both have full time jobs. Making the bed together in the morning is something I like too, if we are both up at the same time. Occasional breakfast in bed. Remembering to put the toilet seat down. And, either not making an outrageous mess or if so, cleaning up after himself (including putting things back in the right place..if humanly possible!). Putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket.. Hmm .........do i ask too much?

Mmm... I do the laundry, put up the shelves, cook, replace the toilet roll. He does the car, the electrical issues, dead stuff and critters. (have no issues with spiders but snakes and rats are his job )

Ironing is against my religion, but I will do it if pushed

As I live on my own I have to do everything anyway, apart from cook. Cooking for one has always been a pain in the ass, so I eat out.

I do get help from my Thai neighbours though, if it's something like booking the car in for a service.

Maybe you will be granted a young student wife...

It sounds like a pretty good split to me.

A couple of points though. I usually don't read any instructions unless I get stuck. I prefer to try to work things out myself.

Also, it'd be nice if the wife removed the stickiness from the outside before I try to take a lid off anything.

Oh, and I generally cook (purely because I like to eat good food, and she'll manage to burn/overcook anything.

Like Thad though, I spent many years alone, and cooking for one, is dumb. (if economical) I also would eat out usually.

Very funny & quite accurate article in our house;

The top 20 men's jobs according to the survey:

1.Getting things out of the loft - yes

2.Investigating strange noises in the night - yes

3.Putting out the bins/ going to the tip - yes (except I drive to the tip but he has to load & unload)

4.Topping up oil / radiator / screen wash /washing the car - nope neither of us do any of these things ever

5.Mowing the lawn - yes

6.Edge and hedge-trimming - yes

7.Reading instructions for new gadgets - 100% yes

8.Getting spiders out of the bath - nah, can do them me'self

9.Unblocking the lavatory with a plunger - never had cause to but would be his job if we did

10.Putting up shelves - yes

11.Fixing broken toys - yes

12.Building flat-pack furniture - god yes

13.Removing sticky lids from jars - nope, never an issue we don’t do jars

14.Washing up after dinner - every single day

15.Setting the television to recording programmes - well I can't be expected to know how can I?

16.Anything car-related - generally not, have a good mechanic

17.Sunday morning paper-run - no

18.Cleaning windows - nope, window cleaner, 12 quid every 2 months

19.Sweeping the driveway - no

20.Carving the roast - never cook roasts

The top 20 women's jobs:

1.Remembering birthdays / anniversaries - every one

2.Treating the children's head lice / verrucas - not had this yet but probably will be my job

3.Changing bed linen - yes

4.Buying presents - yes

5.Pairing up clean socks - yes

6.Organising the social calendar - yes

7.Washing clothes - yes

8.Baking cakes for the school - bake, huh?

9.Organising the children's social life 1 - he is 22 months old, he doesn’t have a social life :jerk:

0.Removing the children's ear wax - yes

11.School packed lunches - yes

12.Ironing - yes, I quite like it but do it all once a week on a Sunday

13.Binning out-of-date food - yes, left to the Mr we would all get botulism

14.Dusting - yes

15.Cleaning the oven - umm, sure, lets just say that our oven gets cleaned for the sake of this....

16.Replacing the lavatory rolls - yes

17.Attending children's parties - yes

18.Changing nappies - actually 50/50, we have a rule, who ever is closest to the kid at the time has to do it, evil huh?

19.Booking the babysitter - yes

20.Cleaning up if the children are sick - yes

Very funny & quite accurate article in our house;

The top 20 men's jobs according to the survey:

3.Putting out the bins/ going to the tip - yes (except I drive to the tip but he has to load & unload)

16.Anything car-related - generally not, have a good mechanic

Does he drive? I only ask cos I don't, and I'm edging on 30 now, and no other man I know of alive doesn't drive. (I love cars, I just don't have a licence).

The top 20 women's jobs:

8.Baking cakes for the school - bake, huh?

9.Organising the children's social life 1 - he is 22 months old, he doesn’t have a social life

Coming up to two years already... Jeez... I remember when you were preggers...

15.Cleaning the oven - umm, sure, lets just say that our oven gets cleaned for the sake of this....

I hear that!

18.Changing nappies - actually 50/50, we have a rule, who ever is closest to the kid at the time has to do it, evil huh?

Fair enough, Agreed!

He can drive but has never got round to getting his Uk license, something he has been told has to happen this year cause I am sick being designated driver & listeneing to him giving me driving tips from the comfort of the passenger seat. he gets the finger quite a lot for doing that

My uncle is in his 50's & doesn't drive but tbh i dont know anyone else either. Go for it kayo.

Yep, 22 months, will be 2 on May 11th, can't beleive how quick it has gone either.

What on Earth are chores?

I found it quite an accurate breakdown thinking back to when I was married. As for cooking/washing up we split the duties, whoever cooked did not do the washing up although if there were extenuating circumstances, like she was behind schedule on the bricklaying, I'd do both. Like Thaddy when I'm on my own I just can't be ar5ed cooking, it's suck a lot of <deleted>' around when there's so many restaurants around. Often I'd make the effort and when the meal was ready I'd just lose my hunger and feed it to the cats.

eek, I don't get this putting the bog seat down thing. I know it is a big thing with some women but I just don't get the logic behind it's importance.

Let's look at the logistics of maintaining the status quo (i.e. leaving the seat the way it was when you're finished).

Say in a situation where there are 50% women and 50% men and one kahzi. Ignoring the bowl movements, 50% of the time a woman goes to the wc she is following another woman therefore can just walk in, sit down and get on with it. The other 50% she is following a bloke and has to put the seat down first. Then for the blokes 50% of the time they are following another bloke so can just waltz in, lubb it out and do the business. The other 50% they are following a woman and have to lift the seat up first (a not insignificant time lag if you've been hanging on with the score 1-0 in extra time ). So we have equality but then there is the jobbies to enter into the equation and that tips the balance slightly in favour of the women (ignoring the noxious fumes ).

So we have a fairly balanced situation unless we apply the beer correction factor but I'm trying to keep the maths simple as I'm none too good at it and it ruins my thesis.

Of course if the women/men split is not 50/50 the whole lot goes to rat sh1t but, hey, that's democracy.

I found the best solution was two toilets, I had the one upstairs and she had the little one down the bottom of the garden. That may be the reason I am currently wifeless.

As for reading technical instructions for gadgets real men don't read instructions we just hand the thing over to one of the kids and let them sort it out.

Household Chores, Which one's do you do?

my main chores are:

1. preparing and serving breakfast for my dog

2. opening two doors for my dog enabling him to pee and poo in the garden

3. treating my dog with treats when he comes begging for treats

4. helping my dog (on his demand) to get his bone which he wedged between sofa cushions

5. opening two doors for my dog enabling him to pee in the garden

6. entertaining my dog when he is bored and the other members of the household are busy with their chores

7. opening two doors for my dog enabling him to pee in the garden and meet his toad friends

8. washing some poisonous secretion off the mouth of my dog because he kissed one (or more) of his toad friends

9. opening two doors for my dog enabling him to pee in the garden

10. preparing and serving dinner for my dog

11. opening two doors for my dog enabling him to poo in the garden

12. giving my dog a stern lecture that his foreplay with toads can have dangerous and even fatal results

13. opening two doors for my dog enabling him to pee in the garden before his bedtime

nice one Naam, I know that feeling. I have four.

As for the ironing, Boo, come over to my house and do mine too? I'll be the woman in wrinkly clothes.

And Phil, I don't care if you don't put the toilet seat down. Just be sure to put it up first, that is all I ask

Since i came to Saudi, all the household chores have bit the dust. I / we love it.

House boy for the cleaning, nanny for baby sitting, gardener, call 1145 for any maintenance Air Con etc. Bloody marvellous

I always lift the seat sbk, I'm not a total animal.

But I forgot the Asian alternative solution : squatters .

No way Jose, the cure is way worse than the problem.

What we need a is a pheremone detector fitted to toilets that automatically drops the seat for a lady and raises it for the guys. Katoeys have a problem , or do they?

Back to mundane chores. The only chore I truly HATE is ironing. There was a time the board and iron was a permanent fixture and I'd iron the shirts as I needed them. Eventually I saw the errors of my ways and sent all the dirty stuff to the laundry and stuff the costs.

But the one in Thailand that used to get me was cleaning the floor. My missus once went away for a weekend and left me with the stern instruction to clean the floor. We lived on a dirt track so in the dry season dust was a major problem. Anyway, of course, I forgot the floor until the day she was due back. Well it looked okay to me until I bentdown to pick up one of the pairs of keks casually scattered around. Looking across the floor I could see a thick brown dusty layer, OMG she's due home in a couple of hours! Sweeping that dust up with the fans turned off and no a/c was punishment enough for any transgressions actual or imagined.

The other chore I only did once in Thailand was washing my pickup. Never again, off to the car wash and a healthy tip was the order of the day thereafter.

I'll do any household chore, clean the dishes, ironing, water the plants, dust the cupboards, get rid of mouse caught in glue trap, anything except for cleaning the baby's shit. No way! Can't do it. On the one occasion I tried, I almost lost my lunch on top of the baby.

Just look at the Oscars................Biggest accolades are always for the producers and the director. Like is no different. Madam wins best actress, supporting actresss, and all the technical awards

I direct.

Division Of Duties.

Mr Cuban: Earning.

Mrs Cuban: Spending.

Division Of Duties.

Mr Cuban: Earning.

Mrs Cuban: Spending.

Replace the above with Mr and Mrs BoJangles and we have an identical lifestyle Cuban

Replace the above with Mr and Mrs BoJangles and we have an identical lifestyle Cuban

I'm sure we're not the only ones, but I feel in these PC days I need to add the disclaimer that neither my wife or I dislike this arrangement.

Currently I am operating with a special licence under extraordinary conditions:-

Phil H. Duty : Earning.

Phil H. Duty : Spending.

However I do have to admit there is something missing in my life but I know she aint far away.

Currently I am operating with a special licence under extraordinary conditions:-

Phil H. Duty : Earning.

Phil H. Duty : Spending.

However I do have to admit there is something missing in my life but I know she aint far away.

Wouldn't be a sheepdog by any chance ?

Replace the above with Mr and Mrs BoJangles and we have an identical lifestyle Cuban

I'm sure we're not the only ones, but I feel in these PC days I need to add the disclaimer that neither my wife or I dislike this arrangement.

Hmmm...... I must be doing something wrong then......

I must say, I prefer your arrangement to mine, Cuban, but since you appear to be taken I guess I'll just have to stick with Mr sbk after all

Currently I am operating with a special licence under extraordinary conditions:-

Phil H. Duty : Earning.

Phil H. Duty : Spending.

However I do have to admit there is something missing in my life but I know she aint far away.

Wouldn't be a sheepdog by any chance ?

I know it's shocking Sounders old chap, but Phil has been acting sort of strange lately

( what with the howling and those attempted yoga positions, you have to wonder )

eek, I don't get this putting the bog seat down thing. I know it is a big thing with some women but I just don't get the logic behind it's importance.

..Thats probably because you have never had the experience of falling in at night time

eek, I don't get this putting the bog seat down thing. I know it is a big thing with some women but I just don't get the logic behind it's importance.

..Thats probably because you have never had the experience of falling in at night time

You are absolutely correct, I did have to give up tap dancing after I fell in the sink and I have been known to do the kahzi kwik step on occasions but I've never been bowleroed over at night.

I'm with eek there, there is nothing worse than sitting down on the porcelan... and then having the seat fall down on your back.

Whilst, obviously. we are trying to keep our ballgown around our neck and not showing our wittle kitty knickers. ha ha

Well, er, apart from cooking, I do pretty-much everything. My first year in LOS was spent living in retirement mode so I did all the housework whilst TW was at work. Fair enough. I'm pretty efficient at household chores as I'm quite good at living on me todd so all she had to do on getting back was think about dinner. Then she'd plonk down in front of the box and I'd wash the dishes. No problems with that.

Now, however, we're both teaching (at different colleges) and I'm away between Mon morning and Fri afternoon. Trouble is, she still carries on as if I'm still there so when I walk into the place on Friday, it looks like a bomb's gone off. Opening the fridge normally rewards me with a view of a few other things that have gone off. The worktops in the kitchen, which I like to keep spotless, she'll leave mucky thereby half the ant population of Thailand have taken-up residence in my absence. A week's worth of clothes in the Ali Baba, oh, the list goes on.

Essentially, she's a lazy cow but she cooks like a dream and I love her to bits so I grin to myself and just button down to it. Obviously, I've tried a few times to get her a bit more involved with the house whilst I'm away but any little victories are short-lived. Reading back over this post makes it seem like I'm grumbling, which I'm not actually. The thing is, I actually take a pride in the house being clean and tidy and things being organised. Hang on, did I say organised? I've lost count of how many times she's lost the motorbike keys, her thumb-drive, her 'phone (I always end-up finding them for her). As a teacher, she's very hard-working, extremely conscientious and organised. Her admin and paperwork are absolutely top-notch; I can't fault her at all. I think that she just completely lets go when she's away from work and slips into her alter ego.

Sounds like a rant but it's not. Like I said, I love her and I wouldn't change her for the world.

The worktops in the kitchen, which I like to keep spotless, she'll leave mucky thereby half the ant population of Thailand have taken-up residence in my absence.

The cure only needs to be threatened once: Connect a hose pipe to a nearby tap and make the motions that to clean the area you need to use the hose and high pressure water. The look of disbelief disappears with the first blast of water.

Hmm, worth a go...