Looking for the first April fool gag I came across this , Shearer is taking over as manager until the end of the season and will earn big bucks if he keeps them up.

But the story is on a few major website so it would appear to be true,

BBC

Sky Sports

The Sun

Well well...is he the man to save them from the drop?

Well at least with Shearer Newcastle will have a chance. Under Chris Hughton and old man Kinnear, Newcastle looked doomed.

I just feel that it may be too late for Shearer to save Newcastle. He should have been brought in about 6 weeks ago when Kinnear first suffered his heart problems.

will he be any good though? actually managing a club and having to win matches isn't as simple as sitting there on the match of the day sofa and spouting cliches.

Well, he is the 'Geordie Messiah'.

There's no indication that he'll be any good as a coach though. If he really wants to go into management, Newcastle is always likely to be a huge letdown. He'll be hailed as the Next Coming but 6 months down the road after 10 straight defeats... Doing this could work though. If he saves them the Messiah thing is enhanced and if not his reputation won't be tarnished too badly. Whatever happens he shouldn't stick around once the season is over.

The only hope they have is if he laces them up and plays about 30 mins a game.

For the remaining 8 games,it's an appointment that will keep them up.Whether he's any good as a manager or not,the adulation the bloke commands from the fans will guarantee that the team will get the full backing from the terraces until the end of the season.Newcastle have got some good players and,with the crowd behind them,I can see them getting some positive results.........PROBABLY starting with my lot on Saturday.

For the remaining 8 games,it's an appointment that will keep them up.Whether he's any good as a manager or not,the adulation the bloke commands from the fans will guarantee that the team will get the full backing from the terraces until the end of the season.Newcastle have got some good players and,with the crowd behind them,I can see them getting some positive results.........PROBABLY starting with my lot on Saturday.

true that, the new manager effect is usually worth about six points from the first three games just through sheer momentum. that said i've never heard shearer utter a word in his punditry which makes me think he's got a scooby tactically.

For the remaining 8 games,it's an appointment that will keep them up.Whether he's any good as a manager or not,the adulation the bloke commands from the fans will guarantee that the team will get the full backing from the terraces until the end of the season.Newcastle have got some good players and,with the crowd behind them,I can see them getting some positive results.........PROBABLY starting with my lot on Saturday.

Notr sure about that Pee Oldgit, i agree with Stevie too, Management a whole different ballgame than sitting on a Sofa with a Redknapp spouting Cliques..

For me this stinks of more desperation than the Keegan appointment, i fear for the Geordies this Season you know...

Or is it an April Fools Joke ??

well let's take an optimistic look at their remaining fixtures..

4 Apr, 15:00 Newcastle United v Chelsea No

11 Apr, 17:30 Stoke City v Newcastle United draw =1

18 Apr, 15:00 Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United no

27 Apr, 20:00 Newcastle United v Portsmouth draw =1

May

2 May, 15:00 Liverpool v Newcastle United no

9 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Middlesbrough win = 3

16 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Fulham draw = 1

24 May, 15:00 Aston Villa v Newcastle United no

I see 6 points coming their way from the above, enough? did shearer only sign up to the end of the year? hope so.

i could see them getting something off chelsea in shearer's first game and could also see them beating pompey and fulham on tyneside. still might not be enough though.

I had them a while back finishing on 38 points & didn't think that would be enouhg, don't even think they'd get that ^^ ??

i could see them getting something off chelsea in shearer's first game and could also see them beating pompey and fulham on tyneside. still might not be enough though.

They will take points off Chelsea on the weekend and Shearers cult like status will be elevated even further .However doubt if he has more than one inspirational speech in his locker. Desperate times need desperate action but they will probably still go down. If only the owner would walk away and take the backroom boys with him they might have a chance. In the Championship the value of the club will be reduced by 75% whatever offers Ashley got before,if any, he should have taken.

well let's take an optimistic look at their remaining fixtures..

4 Apr, 15:00 Newcastle United v Chelsea No

11 Apr, 17:30 Stoke City v Newcastle United draw =1

18 Apr, 15:00 Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United no

27 Apr, 20:00 Newcastle United v Portsmouth draw =1

May

2 May, 15:00 Liverpool v Newcastle United no

9 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Middlesbrough win = 3

16 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Fulham draw = 1

24 May, 15:00 Aston Villa v Newcastle United no

I see 6 points coming their way from the above, enough? did shearer only sign up to the end of the year? hope so.

I think your'e conservative in your estimates there,Jim lad.You've not taken into account the teams that have nothing to play for.I can see Newcastle taking all the points against Fulham(because they'll be safe) and Aston Villa (because they'll have fifth spot to themselves, the Barry debate will reappear and the Geordies will NEED the win).I'll be surprised if they don't take all three points against Portsmouth.

well let's take an optimistic look at their remaining fixtures..

4 Apr, 15:00 Newcastle United v Chelsea No

11 Apr, 17:30 Stoke City v Newcastle United draw =1

18 Apr, 15:00 Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United no

27 Apr, 20:00 Newcastle United v Portsmouth draw =1

May

2 May, 15:00 Liverpool v Newcastle United no

9 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Middlesbrough win = 3

16 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Fulham draw = 1

24 May, 15:00 Aston Villa v Newcastle United no

I see 6 points coming their way from the above, enough? did shearer only sign up to the end of the year? hope so.

I think your'e conservative in your estimates there,Jim lad.You've not taken into account the teams that have nothing to play for.I can see Newcastle taking all the points against Fulham(because they'll be safe) and Aston Villa (because they'll have fifth spot to themselves, the Barry debate will reappear and the Geordies will NEED the win).I'll be surprised if they don't take all three points against Portsmouth.

well, i am assuming that by the time mid-may rolls around newcastle may already be out of it.

it's actually a really shithouse move by shearer this, he can't lose. they go down, he joined them too late etc and he walks away. if they stay up he's the second coming of the lord. where was he when they really wanted him, post-keegan?

it's actually a really shithouse move by shearer this, he can't lose. they go down, he joined them too late etc and he walks away. if they stay up he's the second coming of the lord. where was he when they really wanted him, post-keegan?

trying to get his coaching cert.

it's actually a really shithouse move by shearer this, he can't lose. they go down, he joined them too late etc and he walks away. if they stay up he's the second coming of the lord. where was he when they really wanted him, post-keegan?

trying to get his coaching cert.

which i don't think he ever did no? got his fa ones but not his uefa ones?

well let's take an optimistic look at their remaining fixtures..

4 Apr, 15:00 Newcastle United v Chelsea No

11 Apr, 17:30 Stoke City v Newcastle United draw =1

18 Apr, 15:00 Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United no

27 Apr, 20:00 Newcastle United v Portsmouth draw =1

May

2 May, 15:00 Liverpool v Newcastle United no

9 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Middlesbrough win = 3

16 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Fulham draw = 1

24 May, 15:00 Aston Villa v Newcastle United no

I see 6 points coming their way from the above, enough? did shearer only sign up to the end of the year? hope so.

I think your'e conservative in your estimates there,Jim lad.You've not taken into account the teams that have nothing to play for.I can see Newcastle taking all the points against Fulham(because they'll be safe) and Aston Villa (because they'll have fifth spot to themselves, the Barry debate will reappear and the Geordies will NEED the win).I'll be surprised if they don't take all three points against Portsmouth.

Something your not taking into consideration though Mate is that collectively they're awful, simply don't have the mental strength to win a Premiership Game of Football & many i doubt, don't give a monkeys whether they go down or not..

well let's take an optimistic look at their remaining fixtures..

4 Apr, 15:00 Newcastle United v Chelsea No

11 Apr, 17:30 Stoke City v Newcastle United draw =1

18 Apr, 15:00 Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United no

27 Apr, 20:00 Newcastle United v Portsmouth draw =1

May

2 May, 15:00 Liverpool v Newcastle United no

9 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Middlesbrough win = 3

16 May, 15:00 Newcastle United v Fulham draw = 1

24 May, 15:00 Aston Villa v Newcastle United no

I see 6 points coming their way from the above, enough? did shearer only sign up to the end of the year? hope so.

I think your'e conservative in your estimates there,Jim lad.You've not taken into account the teams that have nothing to play for.I can see Newcastle taking all the points against Fulham(because they'll be safe) and Aston Villa (because they'll have fifth spot to themselves, the Barry debate will reappear and the Geordies will NEED the win).I'll be surprised if they don't take all three points against Portsmouth.

Something your not taking into consideration though Mate is that collectively they're awful, simply don't have the mental strength to win a Premiership Game of Football & many i doubt, don't give a monkeys whether they go down or not..

there's a few teams in the relegation mix who just have no leadership on the field at all, and the barcodes are one of them. no captains at all, particularly since given left.

who i would like to see go.. barcodes, boro and ports

who i think will go, barcodes, boro and ports

not west brom? they're doomed james, have been since about september.

Something your not taking into consideration though Mate is that collectively they're awful, simply don't have the mental strength to win a Premiership Game of Football & many i doubt, don't give a monkeys whether they go down or not..

there's a few teams in the relegation mix who just have no leadership on the field at all, and the barcodes are one of them. no captains at all, particularly since given left.

True which is weird seeing as they've got Nolan, Butt & a few others..

Newcastle are a very possible Club to go down, but so are WBA ( gone ), Pompey, Boro, Blackburn, Stoke & maybe Sunderland unless they pull their fingers out..

it's actually a really shithouse move by shearer this, he can't lose. they go down, he joined them too late etc and he walks away. if they stay up he's the second coming of the lord. where was he when they really wanted him, post-keegan?

trying to get his coaching cert.

which i don't think he ever did no? got his fa ones but not his uefa ones?

This is desperate move but more for the owner as a drop will devalue the club. So Shearer is a fool for taking the offer, but I suspect he's done it for the money!! I'm no fan of him so I hope personally he flops, but I feel for the fans and they deserve better then the Owner and Shearer. So I hope he can keep them in the Prem. I hope they get rid of Owen too!!!

He certainly will be an April fool if Newcastle are relegated before the end of the month!

Gamble for him to take on the position at this stage of the season, but he might inspire the team to improve its performances. However, he has a lot of dross to work with, so it won't be an easy task.

That said, I think any 2 from 3 of the NE teams - Mags, Boro and Sunderland - are in danger of being relegated if they don't put a half decent run together before the end of the season.

Unless this whole thing is one big April Fools Joke, he's brang in Ex Charlton Manager Iain Dowie to his Coaching Staff, honestly...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/t...ted/7975700.stm

Denis Wise left yesterday, no big syrprise, he and Shearer did not get on

i remember hearing a story about shearer decking wise on an england trip once. put shearer right up in my estimation that did.

Iain Dowie has got a lot of experience managing Championship sides !

wasn't it dowie who coined the phrase 'bouncebackability'? they're going to need quite a bit of that.

I thought it was Holloway with the bouncebackability. . .

Anyway the cartoon army just get more of a running joke everyday - they employ a totally unqualified and untrained manager and all of a sudden in the eyes of the media they are world beaters!

Hopefully Chelsea will give them a thrashing at the weekend and we can then put them even deeper into the bottom 3 the following week. Then hopefully they slip out the trapdoor and into administration - I really have grown a deep seated hatred with all the 'too big to be relegated', 'the premiership needs newcastle' and whatever other cliched crap is being rolled out.