Worst Joke Ever

[loong]

Groan

How the hell do you post an image here nowadays?

[loong]

2 antennas got married

Not a great wedding

but the reception was fantastic

[loong]

Why do gorillas have big nostrils

because they have big fingers

[loong]

A termite walked into a pub and asked: "Is the bar tender here?"

[loong]

A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion."

[loong]

So God creates Adam, but sees that Adam is lonely in the garden by himself.

• God : "Adam, I'm going to create a woman for you."
• Adam : "What's a woman?"
• God : "Oh they're wonderful. She'll be beautiful, intelligent, funny, cook for you, clean for you and have sex whenever you want."
• Adam : "That's amazing!"
• God : "It's going to cost you though."
• Adam : "What's it going to cost me?"
• God : "An arm and a leg."
• Adam : "Huh... what can I get for a rib?"

[loong]

Whats red and smells like blue paint?

answer: red paint

[stoneyboy]

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

[stoneyboy]

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

[stoneyboy]

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

[stoneyboy]

A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road

[laislica]

Groan

How the hell do you post an image here nowadays?

Click in Reply

look for and click More reply Options

now you will find Attach Files - Choose Files

select the file and it will be uploaded

Now where the upload bar was you will see Add to Post / Delete

the Add to Post will add wherever the cursor is in the reply

and you will see something like this [axxachment=123456:headache.jpg]

(I had to spell attachment wrongly otherwise nothing was shown]

Good Luck

[loong]

Thank you Laislica

[laislica]

^^

You're welcome

[balo]

My dog has got no nose!

How does he smell?
Awful!

[loong]

Well trained dog

[fang37]

I came out of the fish 'n chip shop with a meat pie, large chips & a jumbo burger.

A poor homeless man, sitting there said,

"I've not eaten for 2 days."

I told him. I wish I had your willpower.

[laislica]

I came out of the fish 'n chip shop with a meat pie, large chips & a jumbo burger.

A poor homeless man, sitting there said,

"I've not eaten for 2 days."

I told him. I wish I had your willpower.

I love this!

Beggars walk up to me so I point to my watch and tell them the time.

Occasionally they say, no, no - I need money.

I reply - indeed, we all do and walk on.

What am I - A walking ATM?

Oh, sorry, Hmmmmm, just ask the wife.....

[fang37]

An Irish boy stood crying at the side of the road.

A man asked him "What's wrong?"

The boy said: "Me Ma is dead."

"Oh, be jayas" the man said.

"Do you want me to call Father O'Reilly for you."

The boy replied, "No tanks, mister. Sex is the last ting on me mind at the moment."

[laislica]

[laislica]

[AhFarangJa]

But Laislica, my car is not red.....

[laislica]

My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.

I thought she was joking .........

... and then I saw her face

[AhFarangJa]

[AhFarangJa]

Laislica, many thanks for the info you gave to Loong. Now I too can post images, the above is my first.....

Stay Safe

AFJ

[AhFarangJa]

[laislica]

The Pope went to Northern Ireland during a trip he asked Paddy what he thought of County Down .

Paddy says " It's <deleted> since Carol Vorderman left " !!

[laislica]

Laislica, many thanks for the info you gave to Loong. Now I too can post images, the above is my first.....

Stay Safe

AFJ

Oh Shit, what have I done LOL

[eefoo]

The Pope went to Northern Ireland during a trip he asked Paddy what he thought of County Down .

Paddy says " It's <deleted> since Carol Vorderman left " !!

Sorry mate, but you're going to have to explain that one.

[stoneyboy]

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.

I only intended to rough him up a bit.