Popular Post silver sea Posted March 23, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 23, 2015 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted March 24, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2015 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stan42 Posted March 24, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2015 Two Italians talk to each other on a bus. "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." A lady behind them says "We don't talk about our sex lives in public!" The Italian replies "Hey, coola down lady, who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post nikmar Posted March 27, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 27, 2015 A man walks up to reception at the doctors. " Excuse me, I have an appointment for Dr Smith." "OK, and what is the nature of your medical problem?" "I have a problem with my penis." The receptionist tuts and looks embarrassed and finally says quietly' "Sir, you really shouldnt have mentioned about this nature of problem. You should just have said that you have a problem with your nose." "OK"' says the man. "I have a problem with my nose." "That's better. And what is the problem with your nose?" "I cant piss out of it." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic... and so am I. Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got Alzheimer's... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mca Posted March 27, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 27, 2015 Where do you send a Jewish kid with ADHD? To a concentration camp. That's not funny. My grandpa died in a concentration camp. He slipped and broke his neck whilst patrolling the guard tower. My great, great Grandfather died at the Battle of Little Big Horn. He wasn't actually fighting. He was camping in the next field and went over to complain about the noise. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Uri Geller cancelled his tour of Thailand when he found that somebody had already beat him to it. The spoons and forks were already bendy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Men in their 20s play football Men in their 40s play tennis Men in their 60s play golf Notice how the older you get the smaller your balls become? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 My fridge started to vibrate and sound like Barry Manilow's Copacabana. The engineer told me to turn the temperature down........because it wasn't cool enough! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post South Posted March 28, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 28, 2015 I called my boss this morning and told him I wouldn't be coming in today as my car wouldn't start. He said take the bus. I haven't got a bus. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stan42 Posted March 28, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 28, 2015 Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver sea Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stan42 Posted April 1, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2015 A turtle gets mugged by a gang of snails.Police officer: "Can you explain to me what happened?"Turtle: "I dunno, it all happened so fast." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) I turned into a cat Don't ask meow! Edited April 5, 2015 by laislica 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?Snowballs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tancred Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Nuisance telephone canvassers: I just say"I'm an idiot and not allowed to use the phone" I suppose it's better than lying. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riceyummm Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Bathroom graffiti. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NiwPix Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Bathroom graffiti. Is it bad if I don't get it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stan42 Posted April 8, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2015 Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post riceyummm Posted April 8, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2015 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stan42 Posted April 8, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2015 Bathroom graffiti. I once read above a urinal: Do not look for jokes on the wall, your hand is holding the greatest of them all 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Bathroom graffiti. I once read above a urinal: Do not look for jokes on the wall, your hand is holding the greatest of them all Once at the urinal there was a wavy line drawn upwards. I looked up, along the line and right near the ceiling it said, while you're reading what I put, you are pissing on your foot! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikmar Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 what's red and travels the world on crutches? . . . . . . . . . Herpes. 555555555 crutches...crotches...no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctormann Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Another urinal-related joke (very old one) Two men relieving themselves in the gents' urinal, having a conversation: "You come from Unst, yes?" "I do, how did you know that?" "There is a doctor in Unst, yes?" "Sure, we only have the one." "He circumcises slightly to the left, yes?" "So, I'm told, how do you know that?' "You are pissing in my pocket!" DM 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Another urinal-related joke (very old one) Two men relieving themselves in the gents' urinal, having a conversation: "You come from Unst, yes?" "I do, how did you know that?" "There is a doctor in Unst, yes?" "Sure, we only have the one." "He circumcises slightly to the left, yes?" "So, I'm told, how do you know that?' "You are pissing in my pocket!" DM Conversation material for gents at the urinal: -"How's it hanging?" -"What's up?" -"Cum here often?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post silver sea Posted April 12, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted April 12, 2015 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef stroganoff. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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