Family Integration

[macb]

I am just interested to see if members who have a Thai partner have family or actually live with the partners family:

If your partner has children then I obviously assume you take care of them. ?

Do you have your partners brothers and sisters living with you ?

Do you have mother or father living with you. ?

If any of the above apply have you encountered any cultural problems ?

[WilliamCave]

I am just interested to see if members who have a Thai partner have family or actually live with the partners family:

If your partner has children then I obviously assume you take care of them. ?

Do you have your partners brothers and sisters living with you ?

Do you have mother or father living with you. ?

If any of the above apply have you encountered any cultural problems ?

when my wife and I bought our first home here nefue lived with us for about a year he was 19 and stole from us brought friends in to our home when we were not there and the list goes on night mare finally it came down to he goes or I go. Then he went back to other members of her family and caused problems there also. My thai brother in law felt him also haha you people have your problem back dont put it on my door step again,,

[thesunset75]

Nope, never.

We lived in ourown place when we were in BKK.

Here my bf does not want to live with parents nor family members.

I had a thought to bring family mebers here to live with us and help me take care of my son and the house cause I myself have to go school 4 days a week.

But...nope will never happen.

[MaryWorth]

No, visiting the family for 1, 2 days is enough, they have a reasonable sized house with one bedroom airconditioned that we can sleep in when we visit, but it's a too bit far from everything and I would not like to live close by. 

[ThaiBasil]

Her 16 y/o daughter lives with us. We live in the village where her family lives and we made the deal that her mother cooks for the family (two little cousins live with her) in the morning and we cook in the evening. This way they are around a lot. But also take care of our baby when we are both busy and the father sometimes takes care of the garden as he planted some vegatables for everyone.

[tutsiwarrior]

previous line up:

MiL;

four nieces (14, 12, 11 and 6 y.o.);

step daughter.

present line up:

brother in law and new girlfriend;

two nieces, now 12 and 7 y.o.;

nephew;

step daughter, new baby and boyfriend.

(MiL moved out after a row with the wife, brother in law split up with wife and moved in with us - his wife then came and took the two oldest nieces, including my favorite who I was grooming for university ; the step daughter...oh, well...)

the wife rules over this assembly with an iron fist. The arrangement did not appear to be unwieldy last time I was home but we'll see next month when I demobilize an' return home long term. I get along well with everyone...the BiL's girlfriend is shy but knows that I'm harmless...

[macb]

Those that have replied so far thanks it is nice to get different aspects of family life out here:

Do any of you have a problem with the language barrier in conjunction to the family ?

Do they show respect as I am sure you do to them ?

[venturalaw]

Wife's mother stayed with us for a month following the birth of our son. After that she returned home. I speak absolutely no Isaan, so there was no communication except for smiling. She was a help. It was nice having her around, but my wife and I prefer having our privacy with our child, therefore, except for an infrequent visit (perhaps every 2 - 3 years for a week or 2) that's how it will remain.

[ThaiBasil]

Those that have replied so far thanks it is nice to get different aspects of family life out here:

Do any of you have a problem with the language barrier in conjunction to the family ?

never, can speak enough thai and understand most of what they are saying, we joke around, help eachother out, eat and drink together.

Do they show respect as I am sure you do to them ?

yes, never had any issues there as well.

[Valjean]

We have two women my wife's age; a cousin that's really like a sister to her as they grew up together with their grandmother and a long time friend of both and roommate of the cousin. They moved in about a month ago. We all lived in Bangkok and took time with lots of weekend visits at our house (they just had a small apartment). It just felt comfortable at some point. We have a 4 year old and my wife is busy getting her grad degree. They both work FT (the cousin now for me) so it's not like live in nanny but there are more hands to help out.

So far so go. We're an easy going, responsible, quiet bunch who like the same sorts of things. I'm am super busy with a start-up right now and I like that my wife and son have family around. They are good with him also - not the dotting aunts that spoil, firm but really engaged with activities.

We give each other our space. We fixed up the maid room and remodeled the bathroom for them so they have their own place outside the house. We have the upstairs to ourselves. And my office is walking distance from the house so not only am I there a lot but if I ever wanted to be alone on weekends or evenings I can always go there to goof around on the computer or read.

For a westerner having some space is important. Put me in my wife's family's home at the holidays with 20+ people mostly sleeping on the floor, half of them it seems in our addition to the house where there's aircon and after a few days I'm coming unhinged. (or to be more accurate you can find me at my friend's quiet guest house drinking coffee or wine depending on the time of day)

Needless to say people who you trust 100% is essential.

[PeaceBlondie]

None yet, and I forbid it. I did my family bit, 1965-1998. Ended up as sole custodial parent of 3 or 4 kids; I paid my dues. Here, the in-laws bought the lot next to our new home for Mama, but I doubt she'll build and move in there. The boyfriend's 4 sisters are responsible ladies, and about once a month they stay overnight in the front room, and they spend Sundays here. Only 2, grown grandchildren among them; nearly a dying breed compared to my big brood.

[ThaiBasil]

@ Valjean:

I agree, I need my space too, thats why I made a whole wing for me and my wife alone when designing my house (it has a bedroom/bathroom/workroom with fridge and terrace all for our own usage, this is where I get my privacy when needed)