Just how much does this reflect your memories of Xmas day?

It's 9.58am on Christmas Day – time for the first festive row

The average family will have their first Christmas Day argument as early as 9.58am, a survey has found.

A study of the festive routines of more than 4,000 households has charted how the traditional British Christmas quickly descends into acrimony.

It found how tired, excited children and stressed out parents will fall out just before 10am as parents try to tidy the wrapping paper away or discuss what to watch on television.

Things only get worse as the morning goes on, with parents giving the children their first proper telling off at about 11.07am, even before the first festive drink

Wimps and bluddy amateurs! By 11:07 I'm halfway down the first bottle of wine.

The survey, carried out for the makers of Jarlsberg cheese calculated that the average family gets out of bed just before 8am and is ready to open presents by 8.19am.

What the <deleted> do foriegn cheesmakers know about traditional British Christmas?

Once the wrapping paper has been torn off all the presents, they then sit down to breakfast at 9am, but not before they have tucked into a bit of chocolate at 8.39am.

As the strain of cooking the turkey begins to show, parents start to sip their first alcoholic drink at 11.49am.

Bluddy slackers!

When lunch is finally served at 3.24pm, 85 per cent of people have the traditional turkey with all the trimmings.

But all of the food and drink means the first person falls asleep at 4.59pm, with fathers the most likely to lose the battle of tiredness first.

And almost half of those who do nod off end up annoying the others with their loud snoring, the survey also noted.

Now I'm starting to relate to true family Christmas.

For those who manage to keep their eyes open, the family board games are bought out at 5.46pm.

Despite the acrimony, 13 per cent make time to celebrate peace on Earth and goodwill by going to church while 27 per cent sit down to watch the Queen's Speech with their family.

A spokesman for the cheese maker said: ''Family flare-ups are bound to happen, particularly as there are lots of people together and tensions can be running high.

''There is so much excitement, high expectations and lots going on, but it's important to remember that Christmas can't always be perfect – not everything may run to plan.

"After all the early Christmas morning stresses, it's great to see that food shared round a table with the family is still described as the best bit of the day.

''I'd encourage parents not to put too much pressure on themselves on the day – it's your day too, so relax and be realistic.''

The average Christmas:

Get up: 7.55am Not if you've got kids, the time is more likely 04:15, 15 minutes after you've slipped their stockings onto the end of the bed and snuggled up to the wife hoping for your Christmas pressie

Open presents: 8.19am See above

Eat breakfast: 9.02am Eat? Curious idea, bu66er it is Christmas the only time of year you can get away with a Scotch before 12:00

First munch on chocolate: 8.39am Sounds reasonable, a choccie with that glass of grog

Family argument: 9.58am I gave up arguing, particularly at Christnas, years ago.

Tell off the kids at: 11.07am By then I'm locked in the kitchen cooking the dinner

Time of first alcoholic drink: 11.49am Utterly pathetic

Sit down to Christmas dinner: 3.24pm About right, pubs close 2pm

First person falls asleep: 4.59pm Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Play board game at: 5.46pm Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Go to bed: 11.39pm Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Source : http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/christma...estive-row.html

The bits in red sound like a familiar Xmas. Especially the bit about kids and waking time and amount of sleep thus far.

None of that is anything like my christmas. I hate christmas, I always go away, usually to Thailand (not this year though). Why anyone would put themselves through it I just don't know...

None of that is anything like my christmas. I hate christmas, I always go away, usually to Thailand (not this year though). Why anyone would put themselves through it I just don't know...

well...when yer a kid there ain't much you can do...

when I was a kid in California my mother's bolivian family that had immigrated to the US all useta congregate at our house; they were evangelical christians...first there'd be a lot of praying led my an uncle who was a pastor to the spanish speaking flock at a southern baptist congregation...then there'd be the food, always tainted with traditional bolivian delicacies like dehydrated purple potatoes with scrambled eggs

then the fights would start...always about money as they would always want my mom to shell out dough for 'christian purposes'...then there'd be more praying and mercifully they would go home...jezus, I don't know why I remind meself of those nightmares...and repeated at easter...

those folks in the telegraph article never had it so good...

We rarely let religion interfere with Christmas, my first wife occasionally liked to pretend she was a Catholic at Christmas and say grace and once she dragged me to midnight mass. Wasn't bad fun actually, the priest was that pissed he dropped the biscuit.

Must confess I'd had a few snorts myself by that stage.

For 2 years in a row I boycotted Xmas. The only exception I made was gifts for my youngest as he wouldn't have understood my stance.

I would mow the lawn and treat the day as a normal Saturday or Sunday.

One-man protests against the commercialism of it all was the same as hitting my head against a brick wall.

Now, I see it as I should have....a day to express goodwill to friends and family, but still no need to buy into the commercialism of it all.

I was in Thailand for 5 Christmas' straight prior to moving to UK for 5 years with Mr boo & of course it being his first UK Christmas we made a fuss but then went back to the low key, dinner & small presents.

Once baby boo was born everyone got a renewed gusto for it but there were never any rows.

Between me, my sister, my mum & aunt we would all take one part of the dinner & be in charge of it. Mum would always take the turkey & beef as she had the large double Aga, I would be in charge of desserts & cheese, sister veggies & aunt in charge of the stuffing, sausages in bacon & other miscellaneous bits. Took the pressure off one person, cut down on one person doing all the washing up & meant not all day was spent cooking.

Worked well & has been carried on this year although we wont be there as we are in LOS this year. So without the baby it will be a more subdued event for them.

I have yet to decide what to do here in KK, maybe a buffet at a hotel or maybe I'll attempt a mini Christmas lunch for the family. Chicken, mashed potatoes, veg & gravy. Dunno yet but I am def decorating the house & getting a tree.

It's the out and out commercialism of it all that is putting people off. In the UK the shops et al are ramming it down your throat from late September onwards so that by the time it's December people just want to get rid of it. Then Christmas day is allowed to last until midday on TV before it's January sales and winter holidays (a brief respite for the Queen's message mid afternoon).

I've worked more Christmasses than not during the last twenty years and I have to admit I quite like it. At least you don't get quite so many e mails and phone calls.

I've worked more Christmasses than not during the last twenty years and I have to admit I quite like it. At least you don't get quite so many e mails and phone calls.

Same here.

For me, Christmas is cancelled this year. MrsBoJ and Baby BoJ went to Thailand yesterday and I'm in Saudi. Fortunately it falls on a weekend this year, so at least I'll have the day off to prepare my pre cooked Turkey sandwich.

Agree about the commercialism.

My son was just at that age where he understood that adverts on tv & in shops meant he could have things.

I bought him a wooden pirate ship with scary pirates all the way from UK to be opened on Christmas day & apart from a couple of other mall bits that's all he is getting.

My sister (single parent) finds it harder each year to keep up with the latest 100gbp + technology that all the kids my nieces age (12) are getting every Christmas & birthday that we all only give cash to my niece now & a couple of stocking fillers so that money can be pooled for expensive gadgets. My niece then can keep up & my sister doesn't feel bad for not having unlimited cash. I am staying out of it for as long as I can or at least limited trips to UK over Christmas to a week.

In the old days my sister would prepare the Christmas Dinner and it was the one time of the year the brothers would meet up, apart from funerals.

After a while the monopoly set would come out and WW3 would eventually develop, to such an extent that Monopoly was banned and we would all have to wear old clothes so as rolling around in the muck and bullets throwing punches was halfway negated by not ruining any clothes to go with the blood and the bruises.

We were a poor family, clothes were in short supply.

For the last few years we have spent it in Thailand, either on the beach, or in the village, oh joy to the latter.

However this year we are having the family round, the first time in many years we will have been together for Christmas, if you see a Mushroom cloud somewhere in the vicinity of Oxford, you will know exactly where it will be

Merry Christmas

I know what you mean boo about all the technology stuff. At least my dad could buy me a new box of Meccano bits every Christmas knowing that they would connect and interface with all the previous ones. These days your purchase for little Jonny or Jane is out of date by Easter and in any case you could have bought it for 25% of it's December price in the January sales.

When I was married and living in the UK I nearly always cooked the Christmas dinner and loved doing it. Pile of music tapes (latterly CD's), a bottle of vino and I was away. There's nothing quite like a house on Christmas day when the smell of the cooking turkey starts getting round .

Christmas was always a time of mixed emotion for myself and my brother, for him in his formative years and me in my venture to adulthood.

Our Dad passed away on Christmas Day 1977, I was seventeen, Bro' was twelve...... Mum loved Christmas and would spend weeks preparing for it, and it was always the same, which was wonderful.... imagine two lads, now in their thirties being woken up at 6:30 in the morning after a night on the lash with shouts of "he's been, he's been" and finding two sacks with your names on stuffed with prezzies.... Ok, the contents changed over the years to reflect our advancing years, but there was always the standard Christmas Jumper, bag of chocolate pennies and satsumas.

Mum always made Christmas special, the clock was wound back to fond memories every time.

Since we lost Mum eight years ago, Bro' and I don't do Christmas any more, it just wouldn't be the same.

None of that is anything like my christmas. I hate christmas, I always go away, usually to Thailand (not this year though). Why anyone would put themselves through it I just don't know...

I could have written this exact post!

Who would of thought we would be so similar?

(Now my mother is no longer here, I don't have to pretend it means anything to me)

Christmas was always a time of mixed emotion for myself and my brother, for him in his formative years and me in my venture to adulthood.

Our Dad passed away on Christmas Day 1977, I was seventeen, Bro' was twelve...... Mum loved Christmas and would spend weeks preparing for it, and it was always the same, which was wonderful.... imagine two lads, now in their thirties being woken up at 6:30 in the morning after a night on the lash with shouts of "he's been, he's been" and finding two sacks with your names on stuffed with prezzies.... Ok, the contents changed over the years to reflect our advancing years, but there was always the standard Christmas Jumper, bag of chocolate pennies and satsumas.

Mum always made Christmas special, the clock was wound back to fond memories every time.

Since we lost Mum eight years ago, Bro' and I don't do Christmas any more, it just wouldn't be the same.

That's so sad mate. My thoughts will be with you on the day.

None of that is anything like my christmas. I hate christmas, I always go away, usually to Thailand (not this year though). Why anyone would put themselves through it I just don't know...

I could have written this exact post!

Who would of thought we would be so similar?

(Now my mother is no longer here, I don't have to pretend it means anything to me)

Yeah, me and you are like twins!

Christmas was always a time of mixed emotion for myself and my brother, for him in his formative years and me in my venture to adulthood.

Our Dad passed away on Christmas Day 1977, I was seventeen, Bro' was twelve...... Mum loved Christmas and would spend weeks preparing for it, and it was always the same, which was wonderful.... imagine two lads, now in their thirties being woken up at 6:30 in the morning after a night on the lash with shouts of "he's been, he's been" and finding two sacks with your names on stuffed with prezzies.... Ok, the contents changed over the years to reflect our advancing years, but there was always the standard Christmas Jumper, bag of chocolate pennies and satsumas.

Mum always made Christmas special, the clock was wound back to fond memories every time.

Since we lost Mum eight years ago, Bro' and I don't do Christmas any more, it just wouldn't be the same.

That's so sad mate. My thoughts will be with you on the day.

It wasn't meant to be sad, but reading it again it does come across that way, it's more bitter-sweet. Christmas is a time for children and Mum always made us feel like kids again, a very special talent that most Mums can do naturally, just one of the reasons that we both loved her so much.

As neither Bro' or myself have had any kids of our own, that 'special day' leaves us with nothing to do...... it was a bit OTT to say that we don't do Christmas any more, I'm sure that we both do in our own way, but it's probably more introspective and nothing like the quote in the OP, to be honest, our Christmas's were never anything like that.

I'll always remember the Christmas of the past years as being good times, frame it, nail it to the wall, and raise a glass to it every time it comes around.

And then get throughly pissed at New Year

Good on ya'!

My son sadly will never grow up ( severe mental handicap ).

One good ( I think ) thing about this, is he loves Christmas. His face lights up every day with delight when he sees the tree and he belts out carols the best he can from December to the end of January.......... Keeps us young .

In his house in Thailand, well ours really, but he thinks it's just his; we have a christmas tree planted outside the front door with external electrics for the lights. Happy boy this time of year.

We have just recorded our boy dressing his first Christmas Tree, as I can't remember a single Christmas as a boy, it did make me smile