Those are all attributes that seem to explain so many people in North America and Europe. It doesn't seem the same here in Thailand. Many Europeans and North Americans seem to believe that all single males past the age of 40 should remain celibate for their remaining years. So many of the North American married males are pussy whipped, and totally dominated by their female spouses. I don't see that here in Thailand. Maybe it exists, but not in the circles I travel in. By stark contrast to North America, the Islamic countries are totally opposite. Women and children are considered lesser individuals that the male dominated society can do with as they wish. A young woman can be stoned to death for being raped, in some strange, twisted logic that she somehow instigated the rape. There are many examples of these strange customs.

But, I'm more concerned with what goes on in the twisted brain of so many North Americans. Violence and mayhem is promoted through TV and internet games, but Lord help anyone suggesting anything about sex! Sex is something to promote through advertising, but it's all look but don't touch. The dominated married men go through life with enforced blinders on, and heaven help them if they look at another woman with lust in their eyes. Sex seems to end after the initiating period of the first few years. After that he better be a yes man or he ain't getting any.

I'm on various fishing forums in North America and I see examples of what I just wrote all the time. If I happen to mention having younger women as my friends there is a big hullabaloo about sex and prostitution. A picture of a young woman having a good time in a bar is cause for all sorts of complaints. Nobody can understand that the people at the bars I frequent are ACTUALLY having a good time. There just MUST be something nasty going on! What a sad world those poor individuals must live in. Meanwhile I'm having far too much fun to care.

When I saw the title of this thread I thought you were having a go at the ladies forum!

(Just joking, sbkbooeek, just joking. Don't flog me! )

Seriously, it's long been a mystery to myself, and many other Australians, the standards North Americans apply in regard to violence and sex. As you have stated, enacted violence in the extreme is fine in almost any situation, but the glimpse of a nipple on tv could result in the loss of an operating license.

The Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction and the furour it created in the States were of great amusment and wonder in Oz.

I guess it relates to the fact that the US is one of the most fundimentally religious countries on the planet.

Has that winterboy jerk approached you Ian?

You seem to have your feathers ruffled, which is unlike you.

Has that winterboy jerk approached you Ian?

You seem to have your feathers ruffled, which is unlike you.

No, and he never will. He was probably just some pimple faced kid trying to look big, and made himself into a fool. That type never scare me. In fact nothing scares me. I thought I explained that in the hunter topic.

I was just reacting to some hypocrites on a BC fishing forum when I showed pictures of everyone having fun here on New Years Eve. There was nothing raunchy other than some gals dancing (fully clothed) on the counter top at 3AM. But, the prudes like to think the worst of everyone. I'm not going to post any more there until I can think of a way to get my digs back at them... in a clever manner. I've already got some good ideas.

I seldom get my feathers ruffled because I'm having too much fun, but the self righteous hypocrites never cease to amaze me. And, I DO like to stir them up occasionally. I was originally thinking of posting this topic on the general forum, but it would have been shut down quickly. It's much more open and friendly here in Bedlam. And, surprisingly enough, far more sensible and willing to discuss potentially hot topics in a reasonable manner.

You may find that it has more to do with covetousness than genuine prudery..... in which case you should flaunt more

I can't help but to think of a thread in which neverdie said something along the lines of "Nobody over 50 should have sex". The bitter responses from those who clearly missed the queue when senses of humour were being handed out were very entertaining.

(That's not a dig at you Ian)

I agree with Harcourt, I think these guys are just jealous and angry that they haven't the means or the balls to explore other parts of the world where you are not condemned for having fun.

I think that if you've found your niche, nobody is getting hurt, and you are plain about your intentions, then no one should be able to castigate you for your lifestyle.

While I'm quite happy cultivating my traditional, monogamous relationship with my girlfriend, I applaud your efforts to live a life that makes you happy! Being a happy and healthy bachelor isn't for everyone, but I think knowing that the lifestyle is possible here if it is wanted is very freeing when compared to the restrictions in the west.

Don't let the comments of others infuriate you, just pity them for their need to pass judgment on you for something that they don't understand, and would probably jump at the chance of trying if they weren't restrained.

I know just what you mean, Meridian. It just reminds me once in a while when I hear that common viewpoint by the oppressed in North America just how good we have it here in Thailand. No wonder I'm always walking around with a smile on my face. I love it here. If my kids and grandkids lived here, and there was some trout fishing, I'd probably never leave. As it is I get the best of both worlds and always have something to look forward to. My little 3 year old granddaughter keeps telling her parents that she is coming to Thailand to see Grampa and ride an elephant.

Ian, never mind the dancing-on-the-bar stuff- though it is a little out of character for 'normal' guys & girls here- I think that your friends may be hinting to you that you're not going in the right direction for yourself.. I don't mean that you can't enjoy a fling with younger people, but that the real goal for your relationships should be someone intellectually closer to you in experience, right? So if the focus of your life is those younger types & bar life and so on, maybe it should seem a little unfulfilling... eventually.... if you are being honest with yourself.

Ian, never mind the dancing-on-the-bar stuff- though it is a little out of character for 'normal' guys & girls here- I think that your friends may be hinting to you that you're not going in the right direction for yourself.. I don't mean that you can't enjoy a fling with younger people, but that the real goal for your relationships should be someone intellectually closer to you in experience, right? So if the focus of your life is those younger types & bar life and so on, maybe it should seem a little unfulfilling... eventually.... if you are being honest with yourself.

That is fair enough, but if I just want someone intelectual to share my time with then I'll pick another man. We have FAR more in common. However, if it is sex that I want then I'll pick someone young and attractive who actually DOES enjoy sex... and not someone who says "What? Not again! We did that a month ago!"

You pay for it one way or another... either in hard earned cash or having to put up with someone who wants to live an entirely different life style. The facts are pretty plain... 50% of all first time marriages end in divorce. Over 60% of second time marriages end in divorce, but for slightly different reasons. The ratio goes up from there. Now, if you have invested all your life time savings in this one marriage venture and it fails, then the person who invested the most (usually the man) gets taken to the cleaners.

When I get too old to enjoy myself the way I do then I'll sit in my rocking chair with a big grin on my face and live off my great memories.

With all respect Ian, i think women can offer intellectual conversation too, not just men. As for sex, well, sure, everyone wants to be with a person who is enjoying having sex with them. But, i think that in all honesty, if a person is being paid for sex, then its a business agreement, and not really about the payee's choice, or pleasure. Women are very good at faining pleasure, sometimes even within a great and loving relationship, just because they want their man to feel good. Im sure a young girl being paid for sex by a much older man would know the right things to do and say etc in order to keep her side of the deal...and to ensure more transactions.

I realise you take offense at how others may perceive you and your choice of lifestyle, but at the same time, you seem to have quite negative views about how those people are living their lives too, ie: calling men "pussy whipped" etc.

I really dont think that any person thinks a single man after 40s should remain celibate. I think the opposite really, that many would be surprised if he did. Even if the man was going out with girls much younger than him, im sure many would be like "WoW!". I think its when men pay prostitutes, particularly in a poor country, for sex, people get the cringe and worry factor. Add to that MUCH older men, with MUCH younger girls (as well as frequency of purchases), and you will get added consternation (ie: people thinking he should know better). No matter what you would like, thats not going to leave people. I also think for many its not just the older man/younger woman thing, im sure for many its a concern about exploitation. Like it or not, those kinds of issues usually concern people.

With all respect Ian, i think women can offer intellectual conversation too, not just men. As for sex, well, sure, everyone wants to be with a person who is enjoying having sex with them. But, i think that in all honesty, if a person is being paid for sex, then its a business agreement, and not really about the payee's choice, or pleasure. Women are very good at faining pleasure, sometimes even within a great and loving relationship, just because they want their man to feel good. Im sure a young girl being paid for sex by a much older man would know the right things to do and say etc in order to keep her side of the deal...and to ensure more transactions.

I realise you take offense at how others may perceive you and your choice of lifestyle, but at the same time, you seem to have quite negative views about how those people are living their lives too, ie: calling men "pussy whipped" etc.

I really dont think that any person thinks a single man after 40s should remain celibate. I think the opposite really, that many would be surprised if he did. Even if the man was going out with girls much younger than him, im sure many would be like "WoW!". I think its when men pay prostitutes, particularly in a poor country, for sex, people get the cringe and worry factor. Add to that MUCH older men, with MUCH younger girls (as well as frequency of purchases), and you will get added consternation (ie: people thinking he should know better). No matter what you would like, thats not going to leave people. I also think for many its not just the older man/younger woman thing, im sure for many its a concern about exploitation. Like it or not, those kinds of issues usually concern people.

Well Eek, my wife is 17 years younger than me. Somehow I feel like the exploited one.

Well Eek, my wife is 17 years younger than me. Somehow I feel like the exploited one.

Mine is 14 years younger.

I did a poll about this in 2008.

The average age difference was 16,45 years.

So, how does it fell to be "Average James"

I moved here at age 38.

Ian, do you wish you had moved sooner?

..and my bf is 10 yrs older than me..but hes not paying me and other girls for sex. Of course some may argue that you pay one way or the other in the end anyway. I knew when i wrote my post that it wouldnt be favorable, i am also giving my view on why people react or will have opinions about men paying women for sex, particularly younger women, particularly from poor countries. I also didnt say it was my own opinion. As i said, like it or not, thats how people will think

..and the reasons people may have a negative opinion about another persons lifestyle choice, may not be for the reasons one may think..which is also what i tried to address. People may object to Ians way of life for other reasons than he is thinking.

Anyway, people should live life how they please.. as long as it isnt harming others.

Mine is 14 years younger.

I did a poll about this in 2008.

The average age difference was 16,45 years.

So, how does it fell to be "Average James"

That was a Thailand based poll, right? Thailand may as well be a different planet PS ..and thats also why many of us love it here.

Well Eek, my wife is 17 years younger than me. Somehow I feel like the exploited one.

Well Eek, my wife is 17 years younger than me. Somehow I feel like the exploited one.

Mine is 14 years younger.

I did a poll about this in 2008.

The average age difference was 16,45 years.

So, how does it fell to be "Average James"

I moved here at age 38.

Ian, do you wish you had moved sooner?

Great mate, all this time I thought I was gaining face but in fact all those shrugs of the shoulders were meant for her, not me apparently.

I may have said this before but aren't we living in the first "civilised" society that begrudges an older man a young woman?

With all respect Ian, i think women can offer intellectual conversation too, not just men. As for sex, well, sure, everyone wants to be with a person who is enjoying having sex with them. But, i think that in all honesty, if a person is being paid for sex, then its a business agreement, and not really about the payee's choice, or pleasure. Women are very good at faining pleasure, sometimes even within a great and loving relationship, just because they want their man to feel good. Im sure a young girl being paid for sex by a much older man would know the right things to do and say etc in order to keep her side of the deal...and to ensure more transactions.

I realise you take offense at how others may perceive you and your choice of lifestyle, but at the same time, you seem to have quite negative views about how those people are living their lives too, ie: calling men "pussy whipped" etc.

I really dont think that any person thinks a single man after 40s should remain celibate. I think the opposite really, that many would be surprised if he did. Even if the man was going out with girls much younger than him, im sure many would be like "WoW!". I think its when men pay prostitutes, particularly in a poor country, for sex, people get the cringe and worry factor. Add to that MUCH older men, with MUCH younger girls (as well as frequency of purchases), and you will get added consternation (ie: people thinking he should know better). No matter what you would like, thats not going to leave people. I also think for many its not just the older man/younger woman thing, im sure for many its a concern about exploitation. Like it or not, those kinds of issues usually concern people.

Well Eek, my wife is 17 years younger than me. Somehow I feel like the exploited one.

With due respect to Ian because I think I can empathise (looking to my future), I think Eek makes a very solid case...at least a case I can empathise with it wholeheartedly.

Recently single, I can empathise with Ian, but being of a different emotional temperament, I can see what Eek is saying. ( I actually value the sincere touch over the sexual fantasy).

It is just "each to his own". Different temperaments, different values,...... each to his own.

Found my old poll.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Girlfriends-...ou-t203540.html

I very seldom disagree with eek. In fact I believe she is one smart insightful woman. I even agree with her points here. However, I've enough exprience with women to know the actresses from the real ones. There IS a difference. And, when marriages work then I believe that is wonderful. It's just that a whole lot of them don't work. Even the couples who are still together after 50 years are often not happy. I often just post stuff a little off the edge to get a response. A lot of the time I only half believe what I've written. I guess that is called a "Troll". The young ladies of Thailand who are keeping older men from other countries happy are providing a very good service, and that is appreciated.

But, I do firmly believe that men have more in common with other men then they do with women... until if comes to sex. The same is true for women. I know several women who might be called lesbians, but only because they haven't found men that they were physically comfortable with enough to live with them. The same is usually not true for men who are sexually attracted to other men.

I'm also wise enough to realize that although an older man and a much younger woman might physically satisfy each other, they seldom have enough in common to live as man and wife. But, if they are together then that should be nobody's business but their own.

Quote from eek.

I really dont think that any person thinks a single man after 40s should remain celibate. I think the opposite really, that many would be surprised if he did. Even if the man was going out with girls much younger than him, im sure many would be like "WoW!". I think its when men pay prostitutes, particularly in a poor country, for sex, people get the cringe and worry factor. Add to that MUCH older men, with MUCH younger girls (as well as frequency of purchases), and you will get added consternation (ie: people thinking he should know better). No matter what you would like, thats not going to leave people. I also think for many its not just the older man/younger woman thing, im sure for many its a concern about exploitation. Like it or not, those kinds of issues usually concern people.

There is a VERY viable trade in western countries (Canada and the USA) with call girls. But, it is all kept hush-hush and somewhat hidden. It's the old "wink wink, nudge, nudge" game. The women enjoy what they do an act as "escorts" for men with the dosh to pay for it. I know several well off men who use these women's services. They all have a good time and nobody gets hurt. Unfortunately, a few men do fall head over heals in love with these lovely ladies who have no intention of leaving their viable trade. With the women I know in Thailand who provide a similar service they mostly enjoy their work... and it pays better than most other jobs. But, they all realize there is a limited time scale when they are in demand. The ones who DON'T enjoy the work are quite obvious once you get them alone.

But, as I've said many times, I don't really care what others think. I make no bones about it and don't hide who I am. I know I've hurt no one and have helped many. To me that is all that counts. The prudes can continue sucking on lemons.

I have mixed views about prostitution. Thats one of the reasons i rarely speak about it in threads. I dont give a strong opinion on something unless i feel I have a strong understanding and can hold my ground in a debate on it. (Of course, im always open to other viewpoints also).

Sometimes my posts clash with others views, but I do prefer to try to answer honestly and objectively (at least thats my aim).

No one can order others how to live their lives, but people will have views on it. I will offer my point of view, or a slant on something, or even a suggestion of looking at it from a different angle. Ultimately though, when it comes to living life, i usually have enough drama going on in my own life to even think about whats going on in other peoples lives!

I have mixed views about prostitution. Thats one of the reasons i rarely speak about it in threads. I dont give a strong opinion on something unless i feel I have a strong understanding and can hold my ground in a debate on it. (Of course, im always open to other viewpoints also).

Sometimes my posts clash with others views, but I do prefer to try to answer honestly and objectively (at least thats my aim).

No one can order others how to live their lives, but people will have views on it. I will offer my point of view, or a slant on something, or even a suggestion of looking at it from a different angle. Ultimately though, when it comes to living life, i usually have enough drama going on in my own life to even think about whats going on in other peoples lives!

And that is precisely why we love you, eek. You are not a judgemental person. You are strong and thoughtful. You are also much younger than me, and when I was your age I had life all figured out and everything carefully put in what I thought was the proper category. I've come 180 degrees to some of my previous thoughts.

I've also got mixed views on prostitution, but I've come to realize that it is not all cut and dried like so many people try to make it. There are so many different degrees to the profession that you can't lump it all in one basket.

There is a VERY viable trade in western countries (Canada and the USA) with call girls. But, it is all kept hush-hush and somewhat hidden. It's the old "wink wink, nudge, nudge" game. The women enjoy what they do an act as "escorts" for men with the dosh to pay for it.

Everyone seems fine with the fact that wealthy men in Western countries can pay for sex, but if middle-class men in less wealthy countries want to do it, it suddenly turns into "exploitation" and a horrible sin.

Men come to Thailand because "the rules" are on our side, where in the West, they often favor women.

I often find that those screaming the loudest about judgmental people back home are usually the ones who are most likely to do the same here.

There is a VERY viable trade in western countries (Canada and the USA) with call girls. But, it is all kept hush-hush and somewhat hidden. It's the old "wink wink, nudge, nudge" game. The women enjoy what they do an act as "escorts" for men with the dosh to pay for it.

Everyone seems fine with the fact that wealthy men in Western countries can pay for sex, but if middle-class men in less wealthy countries want to do it, it suddenly turns into "exploitation" and a horrible sin.

Men come to Thailand because "the rules" are on our side, where in the West, they often favor women.

You'd need to be wealthy to pay for sex here in Adelaide, General, bleeding $100 for half an hour.... errr so they tell me.

I often find that those screaming the loudest about judgmental people back home are usually the ones who are most likely to do the same here.

That can be true, sbk, but my experience has taught me that judgemental people are judgemental no matter where they live. The more experience intellegent people have the more likely they are of being less judgemental. I had to include the "intellegent" part, because many people go through life with blinkers on and don't open their minds that other possibilities might exist.

Me, I don't have a judgemental bone in my body, and I'm probably too forgiving of other's limitations. I understand that we've all become programmed by our life of experiences. I know things that happened to me as a child, STILL affect me now if I let it happen.

I often find that those screaming the loudest about judgmental people back home are usually the ones who are most likely to do the same here.

That can be true, sbk, but my experience has taught me that judgemental people are judgemental no matter where they live. The more experience intellegent people have the more likely they are of being less judgemental. I had to include the "intellegent" part, because many people go through life with blinkers on and don't open their minds that other possibilities might exist.

Me, I don't have a judgemental bone in my body, and I'm probably too forgiving of other's limitations. I understand that we've all become programmed by our life of experiences. I know things that happened to me as a child, STILL affect me now if I let it happen.

Did you have your mouth washed out with soap for swearing, too?

You'd need to be wealthy to pay for sex here in Adelaide, General, bleeding $100 for half an hour.... errr so they tell me.

I'm afraid it would be back to the Playboy magazines for me.

Me, I don't have a judgemental bone in my body, and I'm probably too forgiving of other's limitations.

do you really believe this or is what you write on this forum complete fabrication then?