This fred is becoming a rite balls up........

. .................

and an ice hockey puk.....which is kind of like a ball but not round (well actually it is round but in a two dimensional kind of way).

Sorta like a squash ball that's been squashed? But harder.

(Although being hit in the gonads with a squash ball is definitely not funny)

Stick with the oval ball and you can't go wrong. (Except for septics - they abuse the odd-ball concept with NFL).

Ian - did you ever play lax? My daughter loved it at school.

(Edit: Lacrosse - abbreviated in UK girls' schools)

This fred is becoming a rite balls up........

. .................

Its okay, as long as you have the 'balls' to go through with it.

Anyway, at least we are only talking about balls and the topic of conversation hasnt been downgraded to fart talk or toilet talk.

Actually many secret mens issues are still yet to be spoken of; perhaps we should create a list or agenda to move forward with?

If this is Secret Men's Business is it okay if I run around bear. I promise there won't be any balls...

and an ice hockey puk.....which is kind of like a ball but not round (well actually it is round but in a two dimensional kind of way).

Ian - did you ever play lax? My daughter loved it at school.

(Edit: Lacrosse - abbreviated in UK girls' schools)

No, Ian is strictly ex-lax. Keeps him going regularly.

and an ice hockey puk.....which is kind of like a ball but not round (well actually it is round but in a two dimensional kind of way).

Ian - did you ever play lax? My daughter loved it at school.

(Edit: Lacrosse - abbreviated in UK girls' schools)

No, Ian is strictly ex-lax. Keeps him going regularly.

I only played box lacrosse as a teenager. We never played field lacrosse. It's a Canadian sport. It's a rough game and even tougher than hockey. I was never a good skater so I never played hockey.

and an ice hockey puk.....which is kind of like a ball but not round (well actually it is round but in a two dimensional kind of way).

Ian - did you ever play lax? My daughter loved it at school.

(Edit: Lacrosse - abbreviated in UK girls' schools)

No, Ian is strictly ex-lax. Keeps him going regularly.

I only played box lacrosse as a teenager. We never played field lacrosse. It's a Canadian sport. It's a rough game and even tougher than hockey. I was never a good skater so I never played hockey.

Played roller hockey when I was working with the Swedes. Took out the net of a tennis court (and the posts) put on our roller-blades and there you are.

Although I cannot imagine any other nationality transporting a couple of dozen plastic ice-hockey sticks in their personal baggage from Sverige to Saudi. But htese guys did - almost every project I was on, for about fifteen years in total.

It was fast and very furious. Luckily the wooden-tops are a fairly phlegmatic race and took their hits without complaint. Had good memories, though. Sooner or later it all came back to you.

But I would never play lacrosse against my daughter's team. They were homicidal - hurling, with boobs.

Balls up by regular mens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xTxCosxi3U

While on the subject of nether regions, conkers, all things round and attachments, a limerick from my primary school days (so not overly vulgar):

The bosun's name was Bopper

By hel_l he had a whopper

Twice round the deck

Once round his neck

And up his ar*e for a stopper

While on the subject of nether regions, conkers, all things round and attachments, a limerick from my primary school days (so not overly vulgar):

The bosun's name was Bopper

By hel_l he had a whopper

Twice round the deck

Once round his neck

And up his ar*e for a stopper

Part of "The Good Ship Venus"

(Don't want a vacation, so I won't post it all here)

^If you hadn't said it, I would never have recalled that piece of info. Yes, "The Good Ship Venus". That certainly dates me. What fun we primary school kids got up to, conkers and dirty rhymes. Different kettle of fish with the young uns now. (Emoticon of a decrepit old man)

^If you hadn't said it, I would never have recalled that piece of info. Yes, "The Good Ship Venus". That certainly dates me. What fun we primary school kids got up to, conkers and dirty rhymes. Different kettle of fish with the young uns now. (Emoticon of a decrepit old man)

Also 'dabs' or 'fivestones' or 'knucklestones'.

Conkers were a limited season, but dabs could be an all-year thing.

Very few marbles around when I was at school, so not so popular. Especially if some bar-steward won the lot.

The songs and pomes we learned in the CCF (combined cadet force) after school hours, and on rugby tours.

I've only now realised that "The Good Ship Venus" is made up of limmericks. It just never occurred to me.

Speaking of risque limmericks.....

There was a young woman from Sydney,

Who could take it right up to her kidney.

A man from Quebec

Stuck it up to her neck.

Now, he had a long one, didn't 'e?

^Wow, you lads must be old.

....the things 'the people' use to get up to before the internet.

I was only remarking the other day, I think I might send a friend a letter......just for the hel_l of it.

Balls up by regular mens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xTxCosxi3U

Holy crap batman, I don't know whats more dangerous the ride on or the pogo stick. (lucky the pogo stick had a handlebar or he may have driven it all the way home

Rite Neverdie,

You seem to have an obsession with your willy. Getting it caught in doors and things.

Why? Has it a life of its own that it bounces around and then comes running back to nestle?

The mind boggles!

ND's genetalia + chocolate in the same thoughts. What are you thinking of Patsy? Actually there is no need to answer that.

How to dispose of dead animal.

'ckin hel_l .

The Klown is here!!

Are you married yet?

Rite Neverdie,

You seem to have an obsession with your willy. Getting it caught in doors and things.

Why? Has it a life of its own that it bounces around and then comes running back to nestle?

The mind boggles!

ND's genetalia + chocolate in the same thoughts. What are you thinking of Patsy? Actually there is no need to answer that.

Patsy is HOT for me. I mean, go easy on her, shes only human (note to mods: please change my nic to 'handsumanneverdie'

Patsy is HOT for me. I mean, go easy on her, shes only human (note to mods: please change my nic to 'handsumanneverdie'

Long distance fantasy romances work for you, do they, Neverdie?

When you get much older than me you'll find that is all you've got.

Is this men's business?

Or is it everyone's business?

Anyway - it's doing your business in a rest-your-aunt.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/7894303/Modern-Toilet-a-toilet-themed-restaurant-chain-in-China.html?image=9

^Normally I do not click on the links, but doing your business in a "rest-your-aunt" was intriguing (if you've seen the mugs on my aunts anyway). Ideal for a blowout after a vinadaloo.

Is this men's business?

Or is it everyone's business?

Anyway - it's doing your business in a rest-your-aunt.

http://www.telegraph...na.html?image=9

That would work, Humphrey. Just sit there naked and never stop eating. Just eat and poop, eat and poop. Isn't that what this crowd is most interested in anyway?

Patsy is HOT for me. I mean, go easy on her, shes only human (note to mods: please change my nic to 'handsumanneverdie'

When you get much older than me you'll find that is all you've got.

Won't happen Ian, I will NEVER get that old. I was hoping that I would be dead by about age 60. By 70 all my aches and pains will be twice as bad, no thanks, but next time Im coming back as a multi-billionare and the lot of you are going to be my slaves......I think I will make Ian my photographer, but he's gonna have to do a few courses first ...... it seems his techniques are a bit dated

I havent come up with jobs for the rest of you yet, so be on your best behaviour if you don't want to be wiping my toosh!

If you come back as an attractive female multibillionaire, I would like to be:

A. Your toy boy

B. Your bicycle seat or

C. The hole in your crotch-less panties.

Failing that, count me out I'll be busy.................

Patsy is HOT for me. I mean, go easy on her, shes only human (note to mods: please change my nic to 'handsumanneverdie'

When you get much older than me you'll find that is all you've got.

Won't happen Ian, I will NEVER get that old. I was hoping that I would be dead by about age 60. By 70 all my aches and pains will be twice as bad, no thanks, but next time Im coming back as a multi-billionare and the lot of you are going to be my slaves......I think I will make Ian my photographer, but he's gonna have to do a few courses first ...... it seems his techniques are a bit dated

I havent come up with jobs for the rest of you yet, so be on your best behaviour if you don't want to be wiping my toosh!

In the HIGHLY unlikely event that I ended up as one of your slaves ( More than likely you'd be one of my govenors of a minor province), if anything, I would be HR In Charge Of Harem, Boat Test Skipper, and Cheif Strategic Planner.

Patsy is HOT for me. I mean, go easy on her, shes only human (note to mods: please change my nic to 'handsumanneverdie'

When you get much older than me you'll find that is all you've got.

Won't happen Ian, I will NEVER get that old. I was hoping that I would be dead by about age 60. By 70 all my aches and pains will be twice as bad, no thanks, but next time Im coming back as a multi-billionare and the lot of you are going to be my slaves......I think I will make Ian my photographer, but he's gonna have to do a few courses first ...... it seems his techniques are a bit dated

I havent come up with jobs for the rest of you yet, so be on your best behaviour if you don't want to be wiping my toosh!

In the HIGHLY unlikely event that I ended up as one of your slaves ( More than likely you'd be one of my govenors of a minor province), if anything, I would be HR In Charge Of Harem, Boat Test Skipper, and Cheif Strategic Planner.

Im not sure, it will all depend on whether you are a kiwi in your next life

A hairy green fruit could never take on all those responsibilities.................Now a mango !!!

^Sir, I hate to split hairs.....actually I don't mind splitting hairs but they are different types of hairs than the one I am referring to her, anyway, what was I saying?

Thats right, you carelessly above refer to a KIWI FRUIT, I never mentioned the word fruit and if you said the word 'kiwi' you would definately not be talking about the fruit if you had any smarts about yourself, you would infact be referring to one of two things, a: the animal thingy or b: the new zealander.

FINALLY, if ur still reading, when you talk about mango are you referring to the 'BIG MANGO' or the everyday tree hanging mango???????

Animal thingys and New Zealanders are just hairy fruits stacked high. Everyone knows that .........tssk