I am sure there are people who post on here who watch Oprah Winfrey. I apologize but I think you should stop reading right now. I even hear that Oprah is watched in Canada. I find that hard to believe nevertheless please stop reading if you watch Oprah. It will be too much for your system. If your favorite words are misogyny, you guys are all alike and clueless, this piece may not be for you.

Since it turns out that the Mel Gibson and bimbo argument was actually about oral sex I thought perhaps a more detailed analysis of the subject might be in order. Please save me the bimbo rhetoric if you Oprha watchers are still reading. She is young enough to be his granddaughter and he has a ton of money.

Mel wanted oral sex and his lady went to sleep. This has happened to me once. Although I would say passed out would be a more accurate term than sleep. I know where Mel is coming from. Another poster mentioned she might be good enough to burn down a house for. I think that is extreme but lets examine the situation. What makes a hummer great? If we men know why haven’t we communicated it to our spouses or significant others. Why is Lolita’s opening up branches everywhere? Why do all those places on Soi Six, Pattaya exist?

Even bad sex is good does not apply in Thailand so don't go there.

First, what makes a great hummer? It is simple really. Don’t stop until I tell you to stop. Why is this so hard for people to grasp.

Has a woman ever asked you to teach her how to give a great hummer? I have had one out of thousands actually ask. It was a lady friend of mine the week before she got married. She was an enlightened woman. Why don’t other women want to know? Why don’t any of the ladies at Lolita’s know? I have met only two women in Thailand who have grasped this simple concept. I was shocked because Thai women are bright. They know how to put the toilet seat down before they sit down. But maybe this is a cultural thing about the majority of toilets not having seats who am I to know.

Perhaps Mel’s lady knew not to stop until he asked her to stop. If so, she was truly a gem and worth a lot but a house is stretching it.

I would query the ladies of Thai Visa. Have you ever asked a man how to give oral sex?

My guess is women don’t want to have any kind of proficiency at oral sex so it is a non existent question.

How many women advise men how to give a woman oral sex? Again, my personal experience, I’ve had one. She was a lesbian. She was an expert. She taught me in two hours enough to fill a 200 page textbook. My hand also almost went numb and cramped up.

I don’t think women want men to be any good at oral sex. They want men to fail so they can say they are bad lovers. My ex wife told me five years after our divorce at a family gathering, "you know I am really good in bed now, I took lessons."

If women truly want men to be better people and better lovers. creating more joy and satisfaction in the world let them come forward and explain the nuts and bolts of the woman’s pleasure mechanism during oral sex. Oral sex is the gateway to multiple orgasms.

But it’s not going to happen. They will invent all sorts of excuses not to commit instructions to writing. It is too personal. It is different for every woman (balderdash!). It is embarrassing. It is against the rules.

The truth is women want you to be unhappy. They want you to fail. They want the women in your life to be unfulfilled.

Perhaps I am being harsh. Not every woman knows. Not every man knows that that slack jawed long distance runner beats the short burst jackhammer approach every time.

Why don't any of the ladies at Lolita's know?

The few that I have met knew - no complaints at all.

Why don't any of the ladies at Lolita's know?

The few that I have met knew - no complaints at all.

I always go to Lolita’s around noon just after they open up. Obvious reasons. Maybe the more experienced staff comes to work later in the day. I can’t bring myself to go later though. The thought is just too horrifying. Anyway I think you have more luck or Karma than me. Perhaps I should go back to Chiang Mai.

Hummer!!!!...<deleted>!!!

You wouldnt happen to be from the U.S would you??

I once had a mate who would say he wouldnt put his netherland bits and pieces into the same mouth that was to be kissing his own children.

After reading your post i can see his point.

Hummer!!!!...<deleted>!!!

You wouldnt happen to be from the U.S would you??

I once had a mate who would say he wouldnt put his netherland bits and pieces into the same mouth that was to be kissing his own children.

After reading your post i can see his point.

Hum is the Thai word for penis.

Why don't any of the ladies at Lolita's know?

The few that I have met knew - no complaints at all.

I always go to Lolita's around noon just after they open up. Obvious reasons. Maybe the more experienced staff comes to work later in the day.

Late in the afternoon is probably better and still not a lot of customers.

Hummer!!!!...<deleted>!!!

You wouldnt happen to be from the U.S would you??

I once had a mate who would say he wouldnt put his netherland bits and pieces into the same mouth that was to be kissing his own children.

After reading your post i can see his point.

One wonders if he knew where his children came from. Maybe a virgin birth eh?

How many women advise men how to give a woman oral sex? Again, my personal experience, I've had one. She was a lesbian. She was an expert. She taught me in two hours enough to fill a 200 page textbook. My hand also almost went numb and cramped up.

If it's oral sex your tongue should cramp up, not your hand. Unless of course one of you is deaf.

Mel is what we in the States would call a hand-job.

Hummer has a completely different meaning here than blow-job.

In any case, I always tell whatever lady I'm with that she doesn't know what she's doing, and I don't want to teach anybody anything. I want to learn. It makes them try harder.

Talk to the hand.

I feel a little weird tonight after watching the evening news. I promise not to do that anymore. They go from one horror story to another for 20 minutes on topics ranging from the spill disaster, to the fraud of the financial institutions, much less all institutions, to the religious institution's insane proclamations, and end up with George Clooney being mobbed at court in Italy. Never again..

"....It is different for every woman (balderdash!)...."

Shows how little you know.

You're a cock Marky. What a BS post.

And you're a cock UG for encouraging him and going along with the post.

"....It is different for every woman (balderdash!)...."

Shows how little you know.

You're a cock Marky. What a BS post.

And you're a cock UG for encouraging him and going along with the post.

And you Harcourty are a cock for responding to me personally instead of responding to my post. If women are all different when it comes to oral sex why not share your insights and experience and tell us the source of your voluminous knowledge of the area.

"....It is different for every woman (balderdash!)...."

Shows how little you know.

You're a cock Marky. What a BS post.

And you're a cock UG for encouraging him and going along with the post.

Haven't you sworn up and down that you are ignoring me? Another example of Harcourt "honesty". 

If you are going to attempt to read my posts, you might attempt to read them correctly. I disagreed with him, so get off of your high horse. 

How many women advise men how to give a woman oral sex? Again, my personal experience, I've had one. She was a lesbian. She was an expert. She taught me in two hours enough to fill a 200 page textbook. My hand also almost went numb and cramped up.

If it's oral sex your tongue should cramp up, not your hand. Unless of course one of you is deaf.

Every woman has a right to multiple orgasms. The lesbian taught me that the combination of digital and oral manipulation are a fitting prelude to male/female coupling. Have you ever watched lesbian sex. Not the porn kind or the go go kind but real women in real life. It is interesting and was an education for me. Too bad this didn’t happen to me until rather late in life. My sexual peak in terms of knowledge, physical ability and opportunity came at around 40 years of age. At 50 I noticed a decline in ability. No longer could I have a nooner with my secretary and go home and perform with the same energy as I had at 40. So I began looking for other technical enhancements to maintain the same level of satisfaction of my partner hence the lesbian educational experience. I don’t know if heterosexual Thai women and western women have the same amount of lesbian experimentation. It would be my guess that Thais are less experienced in this area.

You have some wonderful wet dreams Marky, I haven't had any of those since I was a kid.

It's a bu66er waking up though ain't it? Your sheet's got a wet patch and you're all alone.

The best BJ's of my life were by a Thai woman, who's name I will not reveal (well maybe for ten bucks I might let it slip), and she wouldn't stop until I was arching my back, clawing the sheets and pleading her to stop.

Jeez, now I have a stiffy just thinking about it. Happy memories of a mis-spent middle age.

"....It is different for every woman (balderdash!)...."

Shows how little you know.

You're a cock Marky. What a BS post.

And you're a cock UG for encouraging him and going along with the post.

And you Harcourty are a cock for responding to me personally instead of responding to my post. If women are all different when it comes to oral sex why not share your insights and experience and tell us the source of your voluminous knowledge of the area.

You personally wrote the post, so I responded to you.

I have no intention of being so crass, nor appear to brag about my "voluminous lnowledge".

"....It is different for every woman (balderdash!)...."

Shows how little you know.

You're a cock Marky. What a BS post.

And you're a cock UG for encouraging him and going along with the post.

And you Harcourty are a cock for responding to me personally instead of responding to my post. If women are all different when it comes to oral sex why not share your insights and experience and tell us the source of your voluminous knowledge of the area.

You personally wrote the post, so I responded to you.

I have no intention of being so crass, nor appear to brag about my "voluminous lnowledge".

No Harcourty, you did not respond to me. You hurled an insult at me (cock and shows how little you know). There is a difference. In addition to not responding to me you told me I was wrong but you could not tell me why because to do so would make you crass.

So to restate what you said. I know very little but you can’t tell me why because that would not be nice.

You have succeeded in keeping good sex in the dark again or at least your limited knowledge of said subject.

You personally wrote the post, so I responded to you.

I have no intention of being so crass, nor appear to brag about my "voluminous lnowledge".

While you may not be so crass as to brag about your knowledge, the question must be asked..."Is your knowledge gained as a "giver" or "receiver"?

You have some wonderful wet dreams Marky, I haven't had any of those since I was a kid.

It's a bu66er waking up though ain't it? Your sheet's got a wet patch and you're all alone.

The best BJ's of my life were by a Thai woman, who's name I will not reveal (well maybe for ten bucks I might let it slip), and she wouldn't stop until I was arching my back, clawing the sheets and pleading her to stop.

Jeez, now I have a stiffy just thinking about it. Happy memories of a mis-spent middle age.

Good or great BJ’s are few and far between in my experience. However currently I live in a condo and on the northern exposure is a view of a small bar that opens up at noon. Except if you call and request earlier hours. They have prices (very reasonable) for one or two or three person events. They only add a fraction of the base price for adding people. Kind of like “super size it” at fast food outlets. There is one older lady, management, who has beautiful long hair and is in charge of the place. She is a wonderful person. Why she doesn’t train her staff is a mystery to me but she alone retains the knowledge of oral perfection. She knows everything it takes. She knows she is not young anymore and compensates for that fact with additional personnel.

She has a boyfriend or I would have moved her in a couple of years ago.

In answer to your implied question, no I haven’t had a wet dream in years. Since living in Thailand I have never been more that a 100 meters away from available companionship. And I’m not married so wet dreams are a thing of the past.

You personally wrote the post, so I responded to you.

I have no intention of being so crass, nor appear to brag about my "voluminous lnowledge".

While you may not be so crass as to brag about your knowledge, the question must be asked..."Is your knowledge gained as a "giver" or "receiver"?

You personally wrote the post, so I responded to you.

I have no intention of being so crass, nor appear to brag about my "voluminous lnowledge".

While you may not be so crass as to brag about your knowledge, the question must be asked..."Is your knowledge gained as a "giver" or "receiver"?

I have no doubt whatsoever that he is the receiver..of something...

just wondeing if it might be his own hand that is doing all the giving

"....It is different for every woman (balderdash!)...."

Shows how little you know.

You're a cock Marky. What a BS post.

And you're a cock UG for encouraging him and going along with the post.

And you Harcourty are a cock for responding to me personally instead of responding to my post. If women are all different when it comes to oral sex why not share your insights and experience and tell us the source of your voluminous knowledge of the area.

You personally wrote the post, so I responded to you.

I have no intention of being so crass, nor appear to brag about my "voluminous lnowledge".

No Harcourty, you did not respond to me. You hurled an insult at me (cock and shows how little you know). There is a difference. In addition to not responding to me you told me I was wrong but you could not tell me why because to do so would make you crass.

So to restate what you said. I know very little but you can't tell me why because that would not be nice.

You have succeeded in keeping good sex in the dark again or at least your limited knowledge of said subject.

Well to you, "good sex" is "Don’t stop until I tell you to stop".

Sounds a bit domineering to me.

But then, you are one of those that has to pay for it. I guess you feel you can do anything if you are paying.

You personally wrote the post, so I responded to you.

I have no intention of being so crass, nor appear to brag about my "voluminous lnowledge".

While you may not be so crass as to brag about your knowledge, the question must be asked..."Is your knowledge gained as a "giver" or "receiver"?

If you weren't so doddery and had been able to follow the thread, you would have realised that marky's reference to "voluminous knowledge" was with regard to cunnilingus.

I can hardly be a "receiver" of cunnilingus.

Harcourt always gets it for free!

But then, you are one of those that has to pay for it. I guess you feel you can do anything if you are paying.

And that sums it up nicely, you only get what you pay for so if you get a lemur then maybe you ought to up the payments to peanuts.

Actually the way it usually goes for me, that Lemur looks quite attractive................................How many peanuts ?

Well to you, "good sex" is "Don't stop until I tell you to stop".

Sounds a bit domineering to me.

But then, you are one of those that has to pay for it. I guess you feel you can do anything if you are paying.

1. When cash changes hand, yes, you can.

2. Everyone "pays for it" one way or another - unless you do it yourself.

Harcourt always gets it for free!

What the hel_l is that thing?

Some people really have to get a life.

To switch gears, and, hopefully, end the squabbling. I would like to pose a question.

Is it better to have an orgasm while getting blown, or better when your salami is in hiding? If you know what I mean.

And you Harcourty are a cock for responding to me personally instead of responding to my post. If women are all different when it comes to oral sex why not share your insights and experience and tell us the source of your voluminous knowledge of the area.

No Harcourty, you did not respond to me. You hurled an insult at me (cock and shows how little you know). There is a difference. In addition to not responding to me you told me I was wrong but you could not tell me why because to do so would make you crass.

So to restate what you said. I know very little but you can't tell me why because that would not be nice.

You have succeeded in keeping good sex in the dark again or at least your limited knowledge of said subject.

Well to you, "good sex" is "Don’t stop until I tell you to stop".

Sounds a bit domineering to me.

But then, you are one of those that has to pay for it. I guess you feel you can do anything if you are paying.

A couple of minor things.

A. I didn’t say good sex. I said good oral sex.

B. Domineering. Most men like to grab their partner by the hair, if your partner has hair, I don’t want to get into a gay discrimination thing here, but I have no idea what to do if my partner doesn’t have hair. Anyway, it has been my experience most women don’t like to be grabbed by the hair and pumped up and down like a sailor bailing water out of the bilge of a sinking ship. However if you find one you don’t have to tell her when to stop as you are controlling the action and can stop anytime you want. Trying shaking up a beer bottle and put your thumb over the opening. Then transfer the bottle to your mouth. Your natural tendency is to pull away from the explosion of beer but if you open your mouth to let some of the carbon dioxide escape you can maintain mouth and bottle contact. You get the picture?

Your unasked question, am I dominant? Yes. I am.

One of those who has to pay for it? I am one of those who can pay for it. Therein lies the big difference. I have the money, the time and the freedom. I live where I want and buy what I want and that includes the services of women. I suffer no delusions about what is for sale and what is free in Thailand. Maybe you should read that last sentence twice. Or jot it down it may come in handy as you get older.

Some people really have to get a life.

To switch gears, and, hopefully, end the squabbling. I would like to pose a question.

Is it better to have an orgasm while getting blown, or better when your salami is in hiding? If you know what I mean.

Do you like kissing girls with big lips? That’s half the reason for coming to Thailand and half the answer to your question. The other half is, although exercises exist for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscles of the pelvic floor they are not universally practiced by women after childbirth. If one has a more seasoned female partner oral gratification might be the preferred method or achieving the desired result.