Do you ever look at Nicolas Cage‘s slowly aging, jolie laide face and wonder if he’s a 200-year-old vampire who feasts on the blood of the living? Lord knows I have. I have tried numerous times to convince people of this fact, but there’s never been any supporting evidence…until now.

A photo listed for sale on Ebay purports to be of Nicolas Cage circa 1870. According to the copy, it is “not a trick photo,” was taken sometime just before the Civil War, and originated in Bristol Tennessee:

Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like

Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of

walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents

himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might

be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.

The seller is serious about his vampire theory, even going so far as to address inconsistencies in the “question and answer” box:

Q: Nick Cage has aged terribly in the past 10 years, he’s obviously not been drinking his daily amount of blood to stay young Aug-01-11

A: My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor “Nicolas Cage” will “die”… but in reality, the undead vampire “Nicolas Cage” will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over. From time to time somebody might mention to him that he bears a slight resemblance to the young version that dead American actor, whose name they can’t recall, but eventually, those occurrences will stop altogether.

http://crushable.com/entertainment/proof-nicolas-cage-is-a-vampire-for-sale-on-ebay-226/

I knew it

Now I know why he turned down that part in Blade, so obvious isn't it.

There you go.

Personally I was convinced he's sold his soul to the devil in return for stardom AND eternal youth.

He's aging now because the validity of the contract has been appealed in court.

The devil said to him............" Oi Nick. You can have eternal life but it will cost you "

" Ok mate" said Nick............" But what's the downside "

" You will forever be a crap actor"

The devil said to him............" Oi Nick. You can have eternal life but it will cost you "

" Ok mate" said Nick............" But what's the downside "

" You will forever be a crap actor"

....................................................

And make the world of men suffer from watching crappy action movies for all eternity

How is it that 'actors' of the ilk of Cage and Tom Hanks get to the 'A' list when people who could run acting rings around them fail?

How is it that 'actors' of the ilk of Cage and Tom Hanks get to the 'A' list when people who could run acting rings around them fail?

Because he's a vampire. Its like a weird vampiric hypnosis thing. Didn't you read the OP?

How is it that 'actors' of the ilk of Cage and Tom Hanks get to the 'A' list when people who could run acting rings around them fail?

Because he's a vampire. Its like a weird vampiric hypnosis thing. Didn't you read the OP?

True this

" Hi I'm a really good actor and I'd like a role in your new film "

" Sorry mate, Cage got the part again I'm afraid "

"Why ? I'm much better than he is "

" True............ but he threatened to bite me if he didn't get it "

First Nicolas Cage, now John Travolta: Is this a photo of the Grease star in 1860? (Scientologists do believe in reincarnation)

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2043257/Nicolas-Cage-John-Travoltas-1860-doppelganger-photo-eBay.html#ixzz1ZMt5d1JE

Lookalike: The 1860 photo of John Travolta looks very similar to a shot taken of the Grease star in 1980

I think the bloke's name from 1860 was Vinny Barbarino. (I remember seeing a TV show when I was a nipper, and I reckon the date's about right.)

Scientologists are vampires too!

Scientologists are vampires too!

They are really, really strange.

Close....

But not quite there

So what's wrong with being a vampire? After a while you get used to the taste of blood.

Tom Cruise?

No comments.

Some of us vampires have been around a long time and weare relatively harmless. In late June in 1876 I advised Custer that he shouldgo trout fishing with me on the Little Bighorn River, but instead he went offchasing some dam_n Sioux named Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull.