Ten Things You Will Never Hear In Thailand.........

[connda]

TV Member: "I need to invite that shy, quiet blether fella over for some Haggis and single malt. He needs to get out of his shell."

[pipo1000]

you want have sex with my sister

Sorry,but I hear that almost daily in Pattaya.

[connda]

Bangkok motorcycle taxi driver: "This is a sidewalk?"

[beerchang]

Yingluck - It's nice to see a full room of people when i speak.

Male TV member: "Darn Dean999. What a sexist avatar!"

Female TV member: "Darn Dean999. I wish I had a set of jugs like that to put my flowers in."

I wanna know where he got that picture of my wife!

yours mate she told me i was the first

Yea well this thread is about things you 'wouldn't' hear!.

[theblether]

Yingluck - It's nice to see a full room of people when i speak.

Male TV member: "Darn Dean999. What a sexist avatar!"

Female TV member: "Darn Dean999. I wish I had a set of jugs like that to put my flowers in."

I wanna know where he got that picture of my wife!

yours mate she told me i was the first

It was me that paid for the jugs........

[StreetCowboy]

on TV: You're absolutely right; I can see how I was labouring under a misapprehension based on a lack of experience or consideration for the viewpoint of others. Thanks for setting me straight!

[connda]

Phuket BIB to Jetski Operator: "Somchai, just give the Farang back his deposit and let him get back to drinking. Your jetski has had that ding in it for over a year."

[macksview]

pattaya/phuket low season regular sexpat to cheap charlie "thats fantastic 5000 US sailors on shore leave this week"

pattaya/phuket bargirl to her friend " sh*t no, 5000 young fit, cashed up sailors in town this week, i wanted sexpat to barfine me this week"

[beerchang]

Thai shop assistant...."Hello welcome. I will leave you alone to browse"

[connda]

Brit TV member: "Sure I love guns. I think everyone should have one at home!"

[beerchang]

TV member...."Your ability to be unable to spell does not concern me"

[beerchang]

Brit TV member: "Sure I love guns. I think everyone should have one at home!"

TV member..."I will never post anything that might make another member think i was a <deleted>!"

[beerchang]

Or, i will never post anything thinly veiled as racist.

[benbear]

Thai Mother to a foreigner = I doesn't matter your not rich, your heart is in the right place

Thai girl = I'll go out tonight and I won't put makeup on or perfume

Foreigner = I like going to immigration

Foreigner = Putting immigration up at Chaengwattana was a great idea, it's just so easy to go there

Me at soi 2 or Koa san = I am only having a pint, one, thats it, just one

[macksview]

japanese customer to baccara stunner " i have 12 inches, can go all night and its 1000 baht LT"

[StreetCowboy]

...

Me at soi 2 or Koa san = I am only having a pint, one, thats it, just one

I say that at least eight times a night, if I'm out... though, to be fair, I've never been to Kao San

SC

[beerchang]

Thai electrician...."Be careful. Not so safe"

[beerchang]

Bargirl...."Can I buy you a drink?"

[macksview]

bargirl to farang "can you give me the 1500 baht now, my thai boyfriend needs the money now for gambling"

[benbear]

Some school ones as I've been at the same school for five years now

Thai Teacher = You'll be next year, don't worry, sure your back

Thai Teacher = The room you need to go to is on the 8th floor and it's second on the left, come I'll take you to the lift

Foreigner = I'll buy the coffee and the cream next time

Foreigner = I love the food in the canteen

[beerchang]

Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

[beerchang]

Me...."dean999, please change your avatar, i dont like it!"

[connda]

Provincial Electricity Authority: "We think the wiring on our utility poles need to be tidied up. We'll get right on that this year."

[connda]

Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

[beerchang]

Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

Looks like a dead heat in a zeppelin race!

[StreetCowboy]

Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

Show us yer bullocks, dear...

[beerchang]

Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy."

Show us yer bullocks, dear...

Can't. They're sick!

[beerchang]

Ok. One more before i go.

Thai hotel parking attendent...."I will not blow my whistle today.....no matter how serious the reversing is going on before my eyes"

[connda]

Ok. One more before i go.

Thai hotel parking attendent...."I will not blow my whistle today.....no matter how serious the reversing is going on before my eyes"

Thai hotel parking attendant: "Just a moment sir. Let's wait until the traffic clears before you pull onto the street. Don't want to slow traffic. And please turn your lights on and fasten that seat belt!"

[David48]

Without trying to sound like the "Ten Things" Police but ...

There are so many funny one liners here then please read from the first post ... you might get a laugh from others have added.

When you have something new to contribute ... add it.

I'm sure that you have something original to contribute and heck, it's going to make it much easier to read when necronx99 has to compile a list again ...

If reading from the first post is a pain then simply go to page #11 where there is a list of over 300 thus far contributed.

... or simply ignore this thought and repeat what others has said.

Carry on ...