connda Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 TV Member: "I need to invite that shy, quiet blether fella over for some Haggis and single malt. He needs to get out of his shell." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipo1000 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 you want have sex with my sister Sorry,but I hear that almost daily in Pattaya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Bangkok motorcycle taxi driver: "This is a sidewalk?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Yingluck - It's nice to see a full room of people when i speak. Male TV member: "Darn Dean999. What a sexist avatar!" Female TV member: "Darn Dean999. I wish I had a set of jugs like that to put my flowers in." I wanna know where he got that picture of my wife! yours mate she told me i was the first Yea well this thread is about things you 'wouldn't' hear!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Yingluck - It's nice to see a full room of people when i speak. Male TV member: "Darn Dean999. What a sexist avatar!" Female TV member: "Darn Dean999. I wish I had a set of jugs like that to put my flowers in." I wanna know where he got that picture of my wife! yours mate she told me i was the first It was me that paid for the jugs........ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 on TV: You're absolutely right; I can see how I was labouring under a misapprehension based on a lack of experience or consideration for the viewpoint of others. Thanks for setting me straight! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Phuket BIB to Jetski Operator: "Somchai, just give the Farang back his deposit and let him get back to drinking. Your jetski has had that ding in it for over a year." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) pattaya/phuket low season regular sexpat to cheap charlie "thats fantastic 5000 US sailors on shore leave this week" pattaya/phuket bargirl to her friend " sh*t no, 5000 young fit, cashed up sailors in town this week, i wanted sexpat to barfine me this week" Edited March 20, 2012 by macksview Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Thai shop assistant...."Hello welcome. I will leave you alone to browse" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Brit TV member: "Sure I love guns. I think everyone should have one at home!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 TV member...."Your ability to be unable to spell does not concern me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Brit TV member: "Sure I love guns. I think everyone should have one at home!" TV member..."I will never post anything that might make another member think i was a <deleted>!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Or, i will never post anything thinly veiled as racist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benbear Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Thai Mother to a foreigner = I doesn't matter your not rich, your heart is in the right place Thai girl = I'll go out tonight and I won't put makeup on or perfume Foreigner = I like going to immigration Foreigner = Putting immigration up at Chaengwattana was a great idea, it's just so easy to go there Me at soi 2 or Koa san = I am only having a pint, one, thats it, just one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 japanese customer to baccara stunner " i have 12 inches, can go all night and its 1000 baht LT" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 ... Me at soi 2 or Koa san = I am only having a pint, one, thats it, just one I say that at least eight times a night, if I'm out... though, to be fair, I've never been to Kao San SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Thai electrician...."Be careful. Not so safe" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Bargirl...."Can I buy you a drink?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 bargirl to farang "can you give me the 1500 baht now, my thai boyfriend needs the money now for gambling" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benbear Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Some school ones as I've been at the same school for five years now Thai Teacher = You'll be next year, don't worry, sure your back Thai Teacher = The room you need to go to is on the 8th floor and it's second on the left, come I'll take you to the lift Foreigner = I'll buy the coffee and the cream next time Foreigner = I love the food in the canteen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Me...."dean999, please change your avatar, i dont like it!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Provincial Electricity Authority: "We think the wiring on our utility poles need to be tidied up. We'll get right on that this year." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Looks like a dead heat in a zeppelin race! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Show us yer bullocks, dear... Edited March 20, 2012 by StreetCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Bargirl to farang...."You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Dean999's Avatar: "You should see my buffaloes. They are so healthy." Show us yer bullocks, dear... Can't. They're sick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Ok. One more before i go. Thai hotel parking attendent...."I will not blow my whistle today.....no matter how serious the reversing is going on before my eyes" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Ok. One more before i go. Thai hotel parking attendent...."I will not blow my whistle today.....no matter how serious the reversing is going on before my eyes" Thai hotel parking attendant: "Just a moment sir. Let's wait until the traffic clears before you pull onto the street. Don't want to slow traffic. And please turn your lights on and fasten that seat belt!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Without trying to sound like the "Ten Things" Police but ... There are so many funny one liners here then please read from the first post ... you might get a laugh from others have added. When you have something new to contribute ... add it. I'm sure that you have something original to contribute and heck, it's going to make it much easier to read when necronx99 has to compile a list again ... If reading from the first post is a pain then simply go to page #11 where there is a list of over 300 thus far contributed. ... or simply ignore this thought and repeat what others has said. Carry on ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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