Cracked Me Up, The First Time She Came To My Country...

[macksview]

What about the first Christmas cracker "trust me" it wont blow your hand off and I promise you'll look cute in the paper hat.

Yeah lol, and the plastic ring inside it!.. not to mention the crappy joke as well lol

what is so funny about that australian cracker classic, "what time did the chinese man go to the dentist? tooth hurtee",dam_n political correctness,she has missed that classic.

[Orac]

The first time it snowed my wife rushed outside only to come back two minutes later because it was cold.

Also, while shopping in a supermarket I bought some grapes and told my wife they were used to make wine. For the next month she kept asking me to buy more and more grapes for her until she mentioned that they were not working - apparently she had misheard me and though I had said that they would make her white.

[Songhua]

The most asked question in her earlier days here: 'you can arrange that over the phone?'.

[macksview]

The most asked question in her earlier days here: 'you can arrange that over the phone?'.

heard that one too.

[simple1]

Wife came to Australia, living in Sydney, after about a month or so she said when are we going to travel around Europe, she though she was in Austria

Edited November 11, 2012 by simple1

[barefoot1988]

i love rabbits in a different way. cracked me up when she think i was kidding despite me assuring i am not when i ordered fried rabbits. she still think its chicken when the dish came but the priceless look when she finally realised

[Thailand2012]

555 please keep these comments coming,i havent brought a thai back home allthough im living with a mate who has and we have a giggle about everyday things such as some guys have posted here,This is quite a refreshing post for a change.The best was when she first encounered the natives in there element who are they what they do why they sleep on footpath we gave up on the history lesson.

[macksview]

a hairdresser in town,asked my wife where she lived,she replied australia,the hairdresser asked my wife if she knew her aunt as she had married a farang,pity she live about 1000 kms away.

a man went into the wife's work,being friendly he asked where she came from, the wife replied the name of our suburb in australia,bloke was stunned for a minute,then he got the joke and now he always wants to talk about his orders with her.

[krisb]

Wife came to Australia, living in Sydney, after about a month or so she said when are we going to travel around Europe, she though she was in Austria

Lol, my wife got taken to the Austrian Embassy in Bangkok by a taxi driver.

Australia could be called a small island off the coast of Austria

[krisb]

The most asked question in her earlier days here: 'you can arrange that over the phone?'.

Tell em its not what you know in Australia. Its who

[krisb]

The whole family was installed in and around the poolhouse, teerak gets bored (no sunbathing for her!) and she goes poking around back in the garden sheds. Squeals of delight when she finds a stash of fishing rods, grabs a few slices of bacon out of the fridge and off she goes, spends most of the next two weeks fishing up at the family pond and lived mostly on the tiny "trash fish" she caught. Found a place in the nearby city with lots of SE refugees to buy Thai herbs and spices, ingredients for som tam. Happy as a pig in shit, decided she could survive in farangland after all 8-)

And OT I know Aussies are proud of Mr's Hill's invention, but recently I saw a series of Mickey Mouse cartoons from the early 30's where something very similar was featured. Comments?

Funny how they love fishing! never had an Aussie girl who liked it.

Took my wife crabbing 1 time , she loooved it. "ooowwww lucky lucky" shes going everytime she pulled up a crab net. Classic!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Took a solid week for me to finally get her trained to use the bathroom without getting the floor all wet.

Just having people walk around the house with outside shoes, but the fact that they go to the dunny with them on!

I have to admit I prefer the Thai way with that myself. . .

[simple1]

The whole family was installed in and around the poolhouse, teerak gets bored (no sunbathing for her!) and she goes poking around back in the garden sheds. Squeals of delight when she finds a stash of fishing rods, grabs a few slices of bacon out of the fridge and off she goes, spends most of the next two weeks fishing up at the family pond and lived mostly on the tiny "trash fish" she caught. Found a place in the nearby city with lots of SE refugees to buy Thai herbs and spices, ingredients for som tam. Happy as a pig in shit, decided she could survive in farangland after all 8-)

And OT I know Aussies are proud of Mr's Hill's invention, but recently I saw a series of Mickey Mouse cartoons from the early 30's where something very similar was featured. Comments?

Funny how they love fishing! never had an Aussie girl who liked it.

Took my wife crabbing 1 time , she loooved it. "ooowwww lucky lucky" shes going everytime she pulled up a crab net. Classic!

My wife used to love going to Stockton Beach (near Newcastle) for day trips to collect pippis - could not get her head around the limit of number of pippis to be collected, especially when a council guy said she had to discard the extras she had collected.

[eyebee]

My wife used to love going to Stockton Beach (near Newcastle) for day trips to collect pippis - could not get her head around the limit of number of pippis to be collected, especially when a council guy said she had to discard the extras she had collected.

What the hell are pippis???

[transam]

What about the first Christmas cracker "trust me" it wont blow your hand off and I promise you'll look cute in the paper hat.

Wonder what she thought of you in a paper hat. ....crackers.................................

[simple1]

My wife used to love going to Stockton Beach (near Newcastle) for day trips to collect pippis - could not get her head around the limit of number of pippis to be collected, especially when a council guy said she had to discard the extras she had collected.

What the hell are pippis???

Australian name for a clam

[MRTELLYOUSTRAIGHT]

They say the Ozzies like the simple things in life. It appears they also like simple wives as well.

[krisb]

They say the Ozzies like the simple things in life. It appears they also like simple wives as well.

What the hecks that meant to mean?...Whos your wife?...Hillary Clinton?...Simple things in life are often the best. Ever heard that?

This isnt an Australian only topic champ.

[PoorSucker]

Friend of mine brought his girlfriend to Denmark.

She said all farmer in Denmark are so spoiled, they have big fans for the fields.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

They say the Ozzies like the simple things in life. It appears they also like simple wives as well.

Don't know about national generalizations, but I sure do.

Upcountry people can remember when they used to be able to live on the wildlife living among/between the rice paddies, and AFATC it's like a mythical paradise lost to them, these days everyone needs cash to survive in most places even twenty years ago wasn't as true.

[scotto]

Driving from melbourne across the nullabor to perth

the missus said to me no one lives in Australia

I told her if you look real hard you will see

some Aborigines she looked for days

of course i said nothing

[simple1]

They say the Ozzies like the simple things in life. It appears they also like simple wives as well.

Yes my wife was a simple woman - she only had 4 years of formal education in Thailand as she came from a poor family and had to work to assist the family income from the age of 9. However her efforts contributed to the family to save enough money to build a concrete and teak house, before that living in a shack. where was this? Pattaya.

When she came to Australia her English was very limited, but she got a full time job as a housekeeper in a hotel and proceeded to learn spoken English. So well in fact that she eventually had her own small business, a Thai restaurant. So your attempted put down shows how simple minded you are

Edited November 11, 2012 by simple1

[BookMan]

The whole family was installed in and around the poolhouse, teerak gets bored (no sunbathing for her!) and she goes poking around back in the garden sheds. Squeals of delight when she finds a stash of fishing rods, grabs a few slices of bacon out of the fridge and off she goes, spends most of the next two weeks fishing up at the family pond and lived mostly on the tiny "trash fish" she caught. Found a place in the nearby city with lots of SE refugees to buy Thai herbs and spices, ingredients for som tam. Happy as a pig in shit, decided she could survive in farangland after all 8-)

And OT I know Aussies are proud of Mr's Hill's invention, but recently I saw a series of Mickey Mouse cartoons from the early 30's where something very similar was featured. Comments?

Funny how they love fishing! never had an Aussie girl who liked it.

Took my wife crabbing 1 time , she loooved it. "ooowwww lucky lucky" shes going everytime she pulled up a crab net. Classic!

My wife used to love going to Stockton Beach (near Newcastle) for day trips to collect pippis - could not get her head around the limit of number of pippis to be collected, especially when a council guy said she had to discard the extras she had collected.

ON a side note re the pippis.

There were organised tour buses of people coming up to Newcastle to collect bucketloads of pippis a few years back

Edited November 11, 2012 by BookMan

[BookMan]

They say the Ozzies like the simple things in life. It appears they also like simple wives as well.

Don't know about national generalizations, but I sure do.

Upcountry people can remember when they used to be able to live on the wildlife living among/between the rice paddies, and AFATC it's like a mythical paradise lost to them, these days everyone needs cash to survive in most places even twenty years ago wasn't as true.

AFATC?

[David48]

Aussies for many years were proud of 'inventing' Hills hoist clothes lines and Victa lanwmowers. We kind of set the bar fairly low and now you are telling me that we copied one of these ideas from Disney?

Actually, I'm much more proud of the fact that Aussies invented the wine cask (box wine) ... a far more usefull invention and a gift that keeps on giving ... till it's empty ...

.

[scotto]

MRtellyoustraight,

Amazing there is always xxxxxx to ruin a good thread

Edited November 11, 2012 by Rooo

[David48]

What about the first Christmas cracker "trust me" it wont blow your hand off and I promise you'll look cute in the paper hat.

Christmas is special ...

[mjj]

My wife actually looked at me in disgust when she found out there were no bum guns in the UK.

"What? You just rub it in?"

"Yes"

Oh, and THEN you take a shower?"

"No, just leave it"

Pause

"And you do that do you?" With a complete look of horror as if I was uncivilised jungle boy.

Even after 6 or 7 years living in the UK, mrs mjj would always take a shower after a dump.

Another time she was helping my mum make a trifle. All that was left were the sprinkles to go on the top. Wife says, "and now I mix it". Shouts of NO from mother and I.

What's that blue in the cheese?

Mould, darling.

Look of <deleted> again.

[BookMan]

Aussies for many years were proud of 'inventing' Hills hoist clothes lines and Victa lanwmowers. We kind of set the bar fairly low and now you are telling me that we copied one of these ideas from Disney?

Actually, I'm much more proud of the fact that Aussies invented the wine cask (box wine) ... a far more usefull invention and a gift that keeps on giving ... till it's empty ...

.

And the bladder acts as a handy pillow when empty and inflated

[David48]

Aussies for many years were proud of 'inventing' Hills hoist clothes lines and Victa lanwmowers. We kind of set the bar fairly low and now you are telling me that we copied one of these ideas from Disney?

Actually, I'm much more proud of the fact that Aussies invented the wine cask (box wine) ... a far more usefull invention and a gift that keeps on giving ... till it's empty ...

.

And the bladder acts as a handy pillow when empty and inflated

Have used it as a pillow while camping more then once!

Edited November 11, 2012 by David48