I'm Living In Hell Because Of My Own Foolishness

[AAAGGGHHH]

I have been comming backwards and forwards to pattaya from australia for the last 4 years. during this time i have formed a relationship with thai guy aged 31 for all of 2 years . In september 2012 I decided to come here to live permantly as it was becoming very expensive living in sydney. My boyfriend moved into the apartment with me and since then he has made my life a living hell. He treats me like crap and is cleaning me out of my money. I had been giving him from 5000 to 10 000 baht every 5 or 6 days. Now he has turned on me telling me it is not enough that he can earn much more than that working back in a boy bar in jomtein complex. ( that is where i originally met him at ). i buy all his meals mostly he only orders the expensive western food when we go out to restaurants , only occasionaly he orders thai food., and have given him so much and got nothing in return .for my kindness and caring. ( and i mean nothing the sex just does not happen as he tells me he is not like other boys and not into sex with men ( (that is bu****hit he is having sex with customers at the bar, and when i first became involved with him he certaily didnt have any problem about it whenever i took him off from that bar)

I could tell you readers so much that has been going on with the way he treats me but I am certain not many of you would believe any of it . but just a small example a couple of weeks ago i was quite sick and could not go out of the apartment , and on one of those days when i was bed bound i foolishly gave him my master card and told him the pin number asking him to draw 2000 baht out as i needed to him get some food supplies .

Last thursday my bank staement arrived online and to my shock i saw that on the day he did that atm withdrawal for me he drew out a total of 30000 baht ( that is the max that could be drawn out daily from my account) On friday morning I was so cranky and started to question him about the money . HE turned on me in such a way that I was scared for my safety, he told me that was the extra money that he could have been earning at the bar as a "waiter" (and we all know what that also includes ?) I dont know what to do now about it and him as well. he did not come back to the apartment until well after 2 , 3 and 330 AM. every night since saturday last, he been telling me he has been out with his friends to karaoke on all those nights.

Now I find out this morning that he is actually back working in the same bar in jomtein complex and that he has had 2 private customers of his own for short time sex.. What the <deleted> hell am i to do about this now,? the guy has a very bad temper and blows up at the slightest thing and it has been that way ever since he moved in with me in september 2012.

now he just does not even talk to me whenever he is at home he just watches the rubbish on tv .On sunday i wanted to watch cbn news and when i asked him for the remote he said if i want to watch other programs then i should buy another tv for myself .This is all my own fault i know and not looking for sympathy for my own trusting foolishness,just some advice from other guys who have lived in pattaya long time and know how to handle this kind of situation i am in.

please people everything i have said is absolutely true , please dont make comments that only hurts me more than i am hurting at the present time, and i mean hurting so bad i am frightend for my safety, no i am not exagerating in any way.all i was wanting was some loving tender careI i am 76 years of age and not in the best of health . that is one of the reasons why i decided to come here to live as i was under the impression that this guy would care for me I have no one in australia, there is nothing there for me . i dont know any other western guys here also that i can turn to for help.

Edited January 8, 2013 by AAAGGGHHH

[OMGImInPattaya]

I propose a poll...troll or no troll

If not, I suggest to you that there is a reason there are so many short-time hotels in Pattaya/Thailand. In your next relationship with a sex-worker, I suggest you make use of them. Its worked out well for me for 15 years.

[kevkev1888]

Get the hell out quick, and disappear.

[londoedan]

Any comments on the Sunday dinners served at the Ritz at Jomtien Complex ?

Is it worth it ? should I book ahead ?

[Jingthing]

Believable.

[balo]

Troll or just a very very stupid Ozzie.

Edited January 8, 2013 by balo

[norrona]

Serious answer....either move him out of YOUR apartment with the help and assistance of the management (not easy but do-able for a fee)

Move out yourself and go live somewhere else...as in move all your stuff and vacate when he is not about (do a runner)

Or go back to that boy bar and get his best mate and install him!

[Jingthing]

If you need a locksmith (to lock the thief out) perhaps someone can make a reference by PM? Troll or not, such things really happen everyday in Fun City and would the police be interested?

[whatchamacallit]

If you are afraid for your safety - you need to get the hell out. if you bought your apartment - then plan for the day where you can change all the lock and then put away all his personal stuff and put it outside the door. You pack your bag and leave the country for 6 months or more and make arrangement with a friend or a real-estate agent to sell the apartment. Make sure he cannot move into the apartment while you're gone and tell security to not allow him in the condo anymore.

I am telling you - again if you are afraid for your safety - get out and go home now!!!!

[yannic]

are you a pussy? Giving your bf sex worker your ATM and PIN??? Crazy? Get the hell out or throw him out.

[Jingthing]

Again troll or not it's a good warning story. For people tempted to support a Thai with questionable character, perhaps a setup in a SEPARATE room for months or years while testing out the relationship is the wiser option. Such a tactic would have likely shaken out the lack of interest in sex with you once you were hooked before it was too late.

Edited January 8, 2013 by Jingthing

[whatchamacallit]

troll or not - after living here for over 7 years - I heard/seen it many times before and his story is believable!!!

the first blame goes to the farang who uses his penis to think with!!!!

[Jingthing]

It could happen to most anyone. Love (or illusion of same) / Lust is a drug. Some of these players are real con men pros. The PC meme is that sex workers are always victimized. Quite often it's the actually the buyer who is really victimized.

Edited January 8, 2013 by Jingthing

[David48]

Where is endure when you need him?

.

[AAAGGGHHH]

i dont know what "troll " means here , but if it means i only chase boys for sex i do not, i am not type of person who goes from boy to boy, i never have and never will sink so low as that. i just was under the impression from the very begining that this guy was genuine and sincere in everything he said. I was constanly sending him support money ever 3 weeks during the times i was back in australia before i came here to live., Now i know i have only been set up and used. how can i just disapear as someone suggested, I have paid up the condo rent for 6 months in advance, and he knows every other boy in pattaya, it would take him 5 minutes to locate me even if i did do a runner . this boy has lived here for over 15 years.

[

Edited January 8, 2013 by AAAGGGHHH

[CMTourist]

If someone is extorting money from you through threats of violence, tell the police. If you fear tellng them to move out because they may react with violence, tell the police. The police aren't as bad as many on this forum make out. They'll expect a little something for their trouble of course, but not much.

And if the extortioner is really making big and easy money in the bar he'll move back there rather than try and persist in what has become a difficult situation when they have an easier one available.

And another thing, this person hates you, so don't think for a second the relationship can be rekindled. Get it finished with as soon as possible

[Penangfreak]

Another very naive Farang....If the story is real, sorry for your trouble. Many similar stories can be observed daily. Men that behave like clowns and are super naive.

Yes, make him leave or wait until he is out one day, pack his stuff, leave with security and instruct not to let back onto property. Need to tell and tip manager & head of security. Then lock your place securely and go for a nice vacation on Samui.

Did exactly this scheme for a friend who was in same trouble with a girl. Worked out fine. She had a new sucker by the time he got back 3 weeks later.

Best of luck mate. PF.

[Woody1]

OP, if this story is for real you sound like your scared of your own shadow! I wonder if your boyfriend has found out you've joined TVF and is reading all these posts and knows your very next move, scary thought isn't it!!!!!

Seriously, you have so many options as mentioned by other members above, you could even utilize several of the suggestions, report the threats to the police, for a small fee have them and security remove him from your rented condo, pre-plan a trip to Cambodia or Laos (not sure how you'll survive there though if Jomtien is already proving too rough?), if you really want to keep the condo, I can't imagine why though, as a few months rent is nothing compared to being able to go to sleep without having one eye open, have a locksmith arranged to change the locks as your (ex)boyfriend is ejected. If you were to leave for a couple of months away somewhere, just rent somewhere else on your return to Thailand, it'll have died a death by then.

This guy is a bully, the more you put up with the situation, the more he's going to keep taking the p*ss out of you!!! You give a Thai an inch, and they WILL take a mile!!!

[whatchamacallit]

i dont know what "troll " means here , but if it means i only chase boys for sex i do not, i am not type of person who goes from boy to boy, i never have and never will sink so low as that. i just was under the impression from the very begining that this guy was genuine and sincere in everything he said. I was constanly sending him support money ever 3 weeks during the times i was back in australia before i came here to live., Now i know i have only been set up and used. how can i just disapear as someone suggested, I have paid up the condo rent for 6 months in advance, and he knows every other boy in pattaya, it would take him 5 minutes to locate me even if i did do a runner . this boy has lived here for over 15 years.

[

"In Internet slang, a troll (pron.: /ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is someone who posts inflammatory,^[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response^[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.^[3] The noun troll may also refer to the provocative message itself, as in: "That was an excellent troll you posted."

While the word troll and its associated verb trolling are associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels subjective, with trolling describing intentionally provocative actions and harassment outside of an online context. For example, mass media has used troll to describe "a person who defaces Internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families."^{[4][5]" - Wikipedia}

Edited January 8, 2013 by whatchamacallit

[OMGImInPattaya]

You give a Thai an inch, and they WILL take a mile!!!

I think it's more accurate to say that if you give someone anywhere an inch and they'll take an inch...if you GIVE them a mile, they'll take a mile...and I would too.

[swissie]

Some Farangs have it written on their forehead: VICTIM !

Of course they don't know it themselfes, but an experienced Bar-Lady or Lady-Boy can single out a "VICTIM" out of a large crowd of Farangs within 5 minutes.

Needless to say, the most endangered are first time visitors, without beeing in the company of some "old Pattaya-Hand", that if necessary, could act as some sort of a "guardian angel."

Cheers.

[AAAGGGHHH]

its not the remaining rent that is the problem, it is i dont know where i can find another place to rent at reasonable rent like this (12000 bht p/m) everything is booked out because of peak season. and if i mentioned the word police to him that im sure would send him over the top. he is not going to work tonight even tho he does not realise i know he is back at the bar working. and he does see that i am online but does not know this site , he cant read very much english. and even if i did manage to escape it would mean i could never go to any boy bar here again as he has so many friends doing the same work in bars all over boyztown and jomtein, i dont know about sunee plaza ive never been there and it has never been mentioned all the time i have known this guy

[meatballs]

Relationships are always a bad idea. Stay single.

[AAAGGGHHH]

i dont know what "troll " means here , but if it means i only chase boys for sex i do not, i am not type of person who goes from boy to boy, i never have and never will sink so low as that. i just was under the impression from the very begining that this guy was genuine and sincere in everything he said. I was constanly sending him support money ever 3 weeks during the times i was back in australia before i came here to live., Now i know i have only been set up and used. how can i just disapear as someone suggested, I have paid up the condo rent for 6 months in advance, and he knows every other boy in pattaya, it would take him 5 minutes to locate me even if i did do a runner . this boy has lived here for over 15 years.

[

"In Internet slang, a troll (pron.: /ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is someone who posts inflammatory,^[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response^[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.^[3] The noun troll may also refer to the provocative message itself, as in: "That was an excellent troll you posted."

While the word troll and its associated verb trolling are associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels subjective, with trolling describing intentionally provocative actions and harassment outside of an online context. For example, mass media has used troll to describe "a person who defaces Internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families."^{[4][5]" - Wikipedia}

i dont look for a emotional response to my situation , i need and want sound sensible advise from those who know how things work in this country

[uptheos]

Why don't you just 'man up' and do something instead of being a wimp?

Move to Ubon, you'll be OK there.

[CMTourist]

its not the remaining rent that is the problem, it is i dont know where i can find another place to rent at reasonable rent like this (12000 bht p/m) everything is booked out because of peak season. and if i mentioned the word police to him that im sure would send him over the top. he is not going to work tonight even tho he does not realise i know he is back at the bar working. and he does see that i am online but does not know this site , he cant read very much english. and even if i did manage to escape it would mean i could never go to any boy bar here again as he has so many friends doing the same work in bars all over boyztown and jomtein, i dont know about sunee plaza ive never been there and it has never been mentioned all the time i have known this guy

Ahh, I didn't realise you needed a solution that allowed you to go look for another male prostitute to repeat the same mistake with.

[whatchamacallit]

its not the remaining rent that is the problem, it is i dont know where i can find another place to rent at reasonable rent like this (12000 bht p/m) everything is booked out because of peak season. and if i mentioned the word police to him that im sure would send him over the top. he is not going to work tonight even tho he does not realise i know he is back at the bar working. and he does see that i am online but does not know this site , he cant read very much english. and even if i did manage to escape it would mean i could never go to any boy bar here again as he has so many friends doing the same work in bars all over boyztown and jomtein, i dont know about sunee plaza ive never been there and it has never been mentioned all the time i have known this guy

Sorry but this story isn't adding up. You gave him 5k to 10k every 5 to 6 days plus he just took 30k from you plus you buy a lot of expensive western Meals for him? And you worry about paying more than 12 k rent a month? What is wrong with you? Just think of the savings just by getting rid of the boy? I am beginning to have my doubt! Are you for real? How about move to BKK or Chiang Mai? Or get a set of balls and tell the boy to <deleted> off!!!

[Morakot]

Sorry but this story isn't adding up. You gave him 5k to 10k every 5 to 6 days plus he just took 30k from you plus you buy a lot of expensive western Meals for him? And you worry about paying more than 12 k rent a month? What is wrong with you?

That might just be the reason why the OP is now worried about paying more than 12k rent a month.

Edited January 8, 2013 by Morakot

[ballbreaker]

If you can't man up and put him out then do a runner to Bangkok. Plenty of decent places to rent in your price range.

[telldem]

I feel sorry for this guy.

Move back to Oz. You are never going to find love looking in a bar, only satisfaction.

My condolences......

to your bank account.