Did Thai Wife Dating Ruin Thailand?......

[rene123]

I might agree that their was a time between mail order brides and internet dating when I would have agreed with you. But I think the world has moved beyond that now.

I don't like to take "snippits" out of someone's text because it often changes the original meaning, but this sentence holds true in most of North America and most certainly most of Canada. MrRealDeal's first reply was excellent.

The same could be said about gay bashing. 20 years ago in Canada, gay bashing was common, but not so much today. Most people have slowly opened their eyes to the real world. I've never noticed any ridicule of men with Asian wives or girl friends in Canada because I grew up in Vancouver where there is a huge mix of Asians and other ethnic groups. In fact, the term "Hongcouver" was used to describe the number of Chinese in Vancouver.

The internet today has completely changed the world and it has been a hard adjustment for some older people. My father still has friends who have never been on a computer and don't own cell phones.

I haven't spent too much time in Great Britain so I can't say what it's like as far as mixing of races. All I get is second hand information from my sister in London and we seldom talk about those things.

[Songhua]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

Really? So Thai Wife type sites never hit Oz prior to the internet?

@MrRealDeal....excellent post.

Poms are obsessed with what their mates will think of their Asian wives down the pub. This is never an issue in Australia.

Maybe not concerned about what their friends think, but actually been approached in Australia, in a bar by a complete stranger, asking how much did you pay for your wife. Fair amount of Asia female stereotyping, racism & bigotry in Australia.

EDIT: It's well know that people advertising on internet dating sites are often involved in scamming. Do not know about other countries, but in Australia a few years back their was a documentary that actually filmed Thai females in internet cafes having multiple internet based "relationships", asking for money etc. The females paid to have responses written in English. This is not unique to Thailand & personally do not believe it has any impact on the reputation of Thailand, other than with extraordinarily naive foreigners.

Yep. Have to say, we've never really encountered the stereotyping issue in Australia. In fact, for us it's been a little more noticeable in Thailand but even then not to a great degree.

Having said that, here is the gist of a strange conversation I had with a guy in his sixties a few years back while on a nice, wholesome family fishing/bbq day in Queensland with the wife and kids:

'how do you find the missus mate, is she a good one?'

'Pardon?'

'yer missus, is she alright? I'm thinking of getting one'

'er, well I didn't buy her, she's my wife and we met while I was working overseas'

'yeah, but somebody told me they're all after yer money so I'm a bit wary of getting one myself. Or is it just luck of the draw?'

'no they're not all the same - they're humans'

' I'm heading to the Philippines in a coupla weeks. Think I'll take my chances and give one a try'

(lol to self) 'good on ya mate. See ya'

It wasn't really until that encounter that I'd even given it much thought but afterwards I wondered 'if this guy was bold enough to walk up and ask me straight out, what are at least a percentage of others on the street thinking? The same thing?'

I don't know how widespread such a perception might be but I do know that not a single one of my own family or acquaintances have ever asked me 'where I got her from'.

[Neeranam]

Internet dating certainly changed a lot. These days, I can be walking near my house in Khon Kaen and bump into a 65 year old former accountant. 20 years ago lets just say there were more interesting people being bumped into in Khon Kaen.

[rene123]

Yep. Have to say, we've never really encountered the stereotyping issue in Australia. In fact, for us it's been a little more noticeable in Thailand but even then not to a great degree.

Having said that, here is the gist of a strange conversation I had with a guy in his sixties a few years back while on a nice, wholesome family fishing/bbq day in Queensland with the wife and kids:

'how do you find the missus mate, is she a good one?'

'Pardon?'

'yer missus, is she alright? I'm thinking of getting one'

'er, well I didn't buy her, she's my wife and we met while I was working overseas'

'yeah, but somebody told me they're all after yer money so I'm a bit wary of getting one myself. Or is it just luck of the draw?'

'no they're not all the same - they're humans'

' I'm heading to the Philippines in a coupla weeks. Think I'll take my chances and give one a try'

(lol to self) 'good on ya mate. See ya'

It wasn't really until that encounter that I'd even given it much thought but afterwards I wondered 'if this guy was bold enough to walk up and ask me straight out, what are at least a percentage of others on the street thinking? The same thing?'

I don't know how widespread such a perception might be but I do know that not a single one of my own family or acquaintances have ever asked me 'where I got her from'.

Great story, Songhua. Thanks for the chuckle. Was THAT bloke ever in for a big surprise when he hit the Philippines. I hope he got back alive.

The world is FULL of all types and you can only shake your head in wonderment at some of them.

[Berkshire]

Seems the current trend is Russian/Ukrainian mail order brides.

While this is a good point, it's also irrelevant. Farangs seen with a Russian wife will not have the same stigma as a farang with an Asian, Thai or otherwise. The racial element is ever present. While it's changing (ever so slowly), I can't see having a Thai wife as ever being the same as having a farang wife in terms of public perception. That's just the way it is. Deal with it.

[simple1]

Just to add to the conversation, a true story. A friend of mine met a Thai women via an internet dating site. She was a "good girl" worked for a financial institution in BKK Flew to Thailand a few times to spend time with her, but eventually told me he found her boring. Then met a BG, in a bar, and married. Bought a house in Northern Thailand and now has children and happy.

Edited January 11, 2013 by simple1

[chiangmaikelly]

Seems the current trend is Russian/Ukrainian mail order brides.

While this is a good point, it's also irrelevant. Farangs seen with a Russian wife will not have the same stigma as a farang with an Asian, Thai or otherwise. The racial element is ever present. While it's changing (ever so slowly), I can't see having a Thai wife as ever being the same as having a farang wife in terms of public perception. That's just the way it is. Deal with it.

Not so in the USA. Many US towns have a majority of Asians in residence. http://en.wikipedia....ity_populations

When Asians are a majority there is little of what you speak of. I believe Asians are about 60% of the population of Hawaii and both coasts of the US Asians are very much in evidence. Los Angeles, California has the largest Thai population outside of Asia. It is home to the world's first Thai Town. In 2002, it was estimated that over 80,000 Thais and Thai Americans live in Los Angeles. Other large Thai communities are in Clark County, Nevada; Cook County, Illinois; Cuyahoga County, Ohio; Orange County, California; San Bernardino County, California; San Diego County, California; San Francisco, California; and Fairfax County, Virginia.

50% of single-race Asians 25 and older who had a bachelor's degree or higher level of education. This compared with 28 percent for all Americans 25 and older. 20% Asians 25 and older who had a graduate (e.g., master's or doctorate) or professional degree. This compared with 10 percent for all Americans 25 and older.

2.6 million people 5 and older who spoke Chinese at home in 2009. After Spanish, Chinese was the most widely spoken non-English language in the country. Tagalog, Vietnamese and Korean were each spoken at home by more than 1 million people.

https://www.census.g.../cb11-ff06.html

I guess we could ask Tiger Woods and Tata Young about public perception in America.

Edited January 11, 2013 by chiangmaikelly

[Berkshire]

Seems the current trend is Russian/Ukrainian mail order brides.

While this is a good point, it's also irrelevant. Farangs seen with a Russian wife will not have the same stigma as a farang with an Asian, Thai or otherwise. The racial element is ever present. While it's changing (ever so slowly), I can't see having a Thai wife as ever being the same as having a farang wife in terms of public perception. That's just the way it is. Deal with it.

Not so in the USA. Many US towns have a majority of Asians in residence. http://en.wikipedia....ity_populations

When Asians are a majority there is little of what you speak of. I believe Asians are about 60% of the population of Hawaii and both coasts of the US Asians are very much in evidence. Los Angeles, California has the largest Thai population outside of Asia. It is home to the world's first Thai Town. In 2002, it was estimated that over 80,000 Thais and Thai Americans live in Los Angeles. Other large Thai communities are in Clark County, Nevada; Cook County, Illinois; Cuyahoga County, Ohio; Orange County, California; San Bernardino County, California; San Diego County, California; San Francisco, California; and Fairfax County, Virginia.

50% of single-race Asians 25 and older who had a bachelor's degree or higher level of education. This compared with 28 percent for all Americans 25 and older. 20% Asians 25 and older who had a graduate (e.g., master's or doctorate) or professional degree. This compared with 10 percent for all Americans 25 and older.

2.6 million people 5 and older who spoke Chinese at home in 2009. After Spanish, Chinese was the most widely spoken non-English language in the country. Tagalog, Vietnamese and Korean were each spoken at home by more than 1 million people.

https://www.census.g.../cb11-ff06.html

I guess we could ask Tiger Woods and Tata Young about public perception in America.

I hear what you're saying, Kelly. By the way, what percent of the US population is Asian? 5%? I'm pretty sure it's in the single digits.

Ask Tiger Woods? I would imagine he would say that the US is still more racist than it could/should be.

[NanLaew]

Depends on what 'Western public perception' you're talking about. Thailand played host to 20 million tourists last year. The vast majority of them came for a holiday, had a good time, went home and recommended the place to their friends. 99.3475% of them didn't take a Thai wife home.

That's the stats...what's the perception?

Who cares? When I mention that I'm off to Thailand for a holiday the reactions are split between the usual sniggers (which are even more tedious for a gay bloke than they are for straighties) and the 'Oh really I went there last year and had a wonderful time'. The demographics usually break down into those who have been to Thailand and those who haven't.

The preconceptions of those who've never visited a country (any country) are completely irrelevant.

I am of the opinion that narrow-mindedness and ignorance beats demographics and worldliness every time.... if you let it.

[NanLaew]

Just to add to the conversation, a true story. A friend of mine met a Thai women via an internet dating site. She was a "good girl" worked for a financial institution in BKK Flew to Thailand a few times to spend time with her, but eventually told me he found her boring. Then met a BG, in a bar, and married. Bought a house in Northern Thailand and now has children and happy.

Most people like a nice girl but they all love a bad girl.

[chiangmaikelly]

Seems the current trend is Russian/Ukrainian mail order brides.

While this is a good point, it's also irrelevant. Farangs seen with a Russian wife will not have the same stigma as a farang with an Asian, Thai or otherwise. The racial element is ever present. While it's changing (ever so slowly), I can't see having a Thai wife as ever being the same as having a farang wife in terms of public perception. That's just the way it is. Deal with it.

Not so in the USA. Many US towns have a majority of Asians in residence. http://en.wikipedia....ity_populations

When Asians are a majority there is little of what you speak of. I believe Asians are about 60% of the population of Hawaii and both coasts of the US Asians are very much in evidence. Los Angeles, California has the largest Thai population outside of Asia. It is home to the world's first Thai Town. In 2002, it was estimated that over 80,000 Thais and Thai Americans live in Los Angeles. Other large Thai communities are in Clark County, Nevada; Cook County, Illinois; Cuyahoga County, Ohio; Orange County, California; San Bernardino County, California; San Diego County, California; San Francisco, California; and Fairfax County, Virginia.

50% of single-race Asians 25 and older who had a bachelor's degree or higher level of education. This compared with 28 percent for all Americans 25 and older. 20% Asians 25 and older who had a graduate (e.g., master's or doctorate) or professional degree. This compared with 10 percent for all Americans 25 and older.

2.6 million people 5 and older who spoke Chinese at home in 2009. After Spanish, Chinese was the most widely spoken non-English language in the country. Tagalog, Vietnamese and Korean were each spoken at home by more than 1 million people.

https://www.census.g.../cb11-ff06.html

I guess we could ask Tiger Woods and Tata Young about public perception in America.

I hear what you're saying, Kelly. By the way, what percent of the US population is Asian? 5%? I'm pretty sure it's in the single digits.

Ask Tiger Woods? I would imagine he would say that the US is still more racist than it could/should be.

It's a big country. I think you have to look at population concentrations. For example California is a little bigger than Great Britain and has about 14% Asian population. When comparing the US to other Western countries I guess you have to ask how racist is a country that has a black President?

[SteeleJoe]

Just to add to the conversation, a true story. A friend of mine met a Thai women via an internet dating site. She was a "good girl" worked for a financial institution in BKK Flew to Thailand a few times to spend time with her, but eventually told me he found her boring. Then met a BG, in a bar, and married. Bought a house in Northern Thailand and now has children and happy.

Most people like a nice girl but they all love a bad girl.

Long ago when I was single and on the prowl I went through my initial bad girl phase and then once I was here a while, had some pulling skills, knew the ins and outs of the culture and spoke Thai, I thought I'd go for what was then generally considered a far harder catch -- the "good girl". I'd find myself going through the motions but it wasn't long before I'd head back to my old haunts and the "bad girls". It wasn't just that the casual sex was more readily available (I didn't do P4P - no objection to it but it defeated my purpose) but I just found the girls more fun in general...

But then I eventually got bored with that stuff and changed my lifestyle - without expectation of finding a good or bad girl - and wound up with a genuinely good person...

EDIT: I am NOT implying that the girls I knew and partied with in the bars and pubs were not good people - many of them were very fine people indeed (and I have good cause to say so). I merely meant to say that the woman I wound up with is just truly a good person irrespective of the fact that she happens to fit the usual definition of a "good girl".

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

Edited January 11, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[David48]

Seems the current trend is Russian/Ukrainian mail order brides.

More a European Trend.

America still entices, but the flight journey is to far to be away from mother.

Far better to be a 3 hour flight from Germany or a 4 hour flight from England.

As for New Zealand ... no chance.

[meom]

Seems the current trend is Russian/Ukrainian mail order brides.

Mate of mine started an agency for polish brides as far back as 1982.

He called it Interpool

[eeeya]

I remember when I was a kid playing video games at the milk bar / corner store. Me and my mate were giving this guy shot about his Asian wife.

I think I was saying "mail order bride!"

He ignored us but his wife turned around and said " I love my husband very much!"

We laughed and carried on.

Cut to 30 years later and I'm that guy with the Asian wife

Edited January 11, 2013 by eeeya

[SteeleJoe]

I remember when I was a kid playing video games at the milk bar / corner store. Me and my mate were giving this guy shot about his Asian wife.

I think I was saying "mail order bride!"

He ignored us but his wife turned around and said " I love my husband very much!"

We laughed and carried on.

Cut to 30 years later and I'm that guy with the Asian wife

And I assume you have as much regard for her as you should have for that other guy's wife and her action (I think it's great that she spoke up and said what she did).

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[eeeya]

Sounds more like women bitching about women.. the same the world over

[Burr]

I married a retired Filipino banker in American then retired to the Philippine and everyone plus my children turned on me.

[SteeleJoe]

I married a retired Filipino banker in American then retired to the Philippine and everyone plus my children turned on me.

So much for small talk. (Sorry - I just imagined a guy walking up to a circle of people and dropping that one).

You have my sympathies.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[krisb]

Blether, let me turn the microphone around back to you....

"what do you think"?....Your a father of a Thai child by the look of that avatar, so I take your other halfs Thai. What did you used to think of your ex boss when everyone gave him crap behind his back? as a younger Blether, and looking back with a different view on society.... Probably went something like "cant you get a Scottish girl"?...here in Australia at the same time it was "cant you get an Aussie girl"?....So.....

.....What would your answer be if I asked you your question?....I expect an honest answer ok mate.

Edited January 11, 2013 by krisb

[Lancelot]

Love or hate the place, tourists are flocking to Thailand in ever increasing numbers. Some folks must like ti here

As for home country bias against thai wives, lets face it, there are xenophobics in every country and society. Ignore the small minds and jealousies of otheres and please yourself

[Humbugged]

I married a retired Filipino banker in American then retired to the Philippine and everyone plus my children turned on me.

maybe its you !!

[Humbugged]

..here in Australia at the same time it was "cant you get an Aussie girl"?....So.....

Narrow mindedness.....

Had one, gave it back.

[mrtoad]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

Really? So Thai Wife type sites never hit Oz prior to the internet?

@MrRealDeal....excellent post.

Poms are obsessed with what their mates will think of their Asian wives down the pub. This is never an issue in Australia.

I'm a Pom and I don't give a toss. Never had an issue when I have been back in Blighty.

[krisb]

But Songhua, cant you get an Aussie girl?

THAT was/is the perception. These days because of the internet, which is the new meeting place, byebye discos, it is acceptable to meet a partner on the net. What Blether is talking about, it was only thought of as a "mail order bride".

So Songhua, the chap you refer to was asking you "hows your mail order bride going"?...while drinking his VB and smokn his Winfield reds, its not his fault, he just hasnt caught up with the times, and found the internet, or , holidayed further than the Whitsundays. ...Dont hate him for it, he just doesnt understand its the year 2013/2555....and he never will understand.

Edited January 11, 2013 by krisb

[matt helm]

This thread makes me wonder how many fights are started in Thailand over insults to someones gf/wife.

[krisb]

This thread makes me wonder how many fights are started in Thailand over insults to someones gf/wife.

Not same same.

[carmine]

Not if it carries on being as unpleasant as it has recently become...........

[farang000999]

I have always wondered what percent of Americans can even locate Thailand on a map.

[theblether]

@krisb......do you mind? that's me in my avatar. I have never been so insulted.

Sniff.

Okay, truthful answer. I was only 18 and I was oblivious to people's attitudes. It was a bit of a shock to me when I heard some of the things being said.

My memory of the lady is that she was superstrict with her children, supercareful with money, and always appeared to be very professional. What I saw and what I heard didn't compute.

I happen to know that they are still happily married and have done well financially. Chalk that up to Big Success in my book.

I remember my mother saying that the guy had worked in Asia for a long time, so the chances are it wasn't a mail order bride, but it didn't stop the comments. More fool they that made them.