What am I going to do?

[fire and ice]

Unless I see a Diploma, I'm going to assume that everyone here is an amateur. Sure, we all have life experiences, but there is a point where people need to seek real help from professionals - that remains my advice to the OP. I dont want to turn this into a to-and-fro : this isn't a discussion about the evils of Pattaya.

No, I don't need a shrink. I'm not in the mood to waste my time and money, sitting in some office playing mind games with some shrink. Could use some seratonin though, which I think I might do. I actually slightly know a doctor at one of the clinics in town -- educated in Australia, and she seems to love the chance to practice English. Will go see if I can get some mild SSRI off her.

But yeah, this is bad. And I already know it's not going away easily.

Sounds like existential angst.

[Nautilus05]

Thanks for the kind comments everyone.

Edited October 25, 2013 by Nautilus05

[Dancealot]

Thanks for the kind comments everyone.

So it made you feel better..

[Nautilus05]

Thanks for the kind comments everyone.

So it made you feel better..

No, actually I just got pissed off at the person above who told me I just need to go live in a wat for 10 days, but then edited my remarks.

Yeah, some sticky rice and meditation. That will get me going again.

Edited October 25, 2013 by Nautilus05

[MJP]

Thanks for the kind comments everyone.

So it made you feel better..

No, actually I just got pissed off at the person above who told me I just need to go live in a wat for 10 days, but then edited my remarks.

So what are you going to do old boy?

Getting pissed off is a good sign, gets the blood up!

[Nautilus05]

So what are you going to do old boy?

Getting pissed off is a good sign, gets the blood up!

I don't know. Buy a bicycle, and throw a party. As stupid as it sounds, that's the best I can come up with.

Bicycle for some good daily exercise. Then I'll grab 20kg of meat in town, and invite all and sundry to my place for a party. Have some nice spare ribs, couple flavors of chicken wings, hamburgers, sausages, cold beer, veggie platter, etc.

I don't want to go on pills though. Did it once about 5 years ago, and would prefer to stay away from them. They're great in the fact they take away that soul crushing depression that grips you, but they also take away the good things in life -- happiness, excitement, ambition, creativity, etc. You're never sad, but you're never really happy either -- you just wander around like a zombie, always mild.

[bumpkin]

The old advice is still the best.

Depends on your circumstances, but get involed in something serious. Get a job..or... Start a business...even if you dont "need" too.

There are charities requiring just about any skill you have (certainly in Thailand).

Commit yourself to something where other people rely on you. Most people have more to offer than they realise.

It sounds corney, but there is real satisfaction from giving, not just taking from life.

What ever your level of health, there is some sporting activity you should be doing. Exercise stimulates the brain.

If you drink, do it with true friends, never alone.

End of lecture.

Do it friend, the world needs your skills and abilities.

And very important, don't procrastinate, do it now !

(BTW, I followed this advice some years back, and I surprised myself with the beneficial effect on my life and lifestyle)

Good Luck !

[MJP]

So what are you going to do old boy?

Getting pissed off is a good sign, gets the blood up!

I don't know. Buy a bicycle, and throw a party. As stupid as it sounds, that's the best I can come up with.

Bicycle for some good daily exercise. Then I'll grab 20kg of meat in town, and invite all and sundry to my place for a party. Have some nice spare ribs, couple flavors of chicken wings, hamburgers, sausages, cold beer, veggie platter, etc.

I don't want to go on pills though. Did it once about 5 years ago, and would prefer to stay away from them. They're great in the fact they take away that soul crushing depression that grips you, but they also take away the good things in life -- happiness, excitement, ambition, creativity, etc. You're never sad, but you're never really happy either -- you just wander around like a zombie, always mild.

Yes, I hate them too, but sometimes they do work if you're really, really down. It's a brain chemistry thing. I had the Paroxetine 20 years ago which turned me into a raging bull for about 5 years after even though I was only on them for six months. I mean a real mentalist. Probably what made my career successful, but didn't do me any good as a person. Turned out to be a really bad pharma with complications later on, not surprised. Es-citalopram I found had no side effects, just my experience.

Exercise is where it's at, getting out there too in the sunlight. Also creativity. I replaced pills with horrifically expensive camera equipment and when I start feeling on the slide I start snapping.

[moe666]

Get over it get on with life and just live each day like there will be no tomorrow, I am 67 and having the time of my life because I do not take anything to serious any more.

[MJP]

Get over it get on with life and just live each day like there will be no tomorrow, I am 67 and having the time of my life because I do not take anything to serious any more.

+1

38 and can decipher what is important and what is not important. Most things are not important enough to bother about.

[Dancealot]

Yeah, some sticky rice and meditation. That will get me going again.

At leat you haven't lost your sense of humour

[JoeLing]

I travelled half the world and yaeh, some times poor, some times rich too.
No where to go really, no where to settle for long. (I think it's called Itchy Feet)
Off course there are down and up's. I never learn much from my good times
but learned a life full of lessons from my bad times. Some bad things that happen
might even prevent us from worse. Maybe some thing like "Bad-Good Luck". ?

So, when ever I am the point of asking myself: "What am I going to do?"
and believe me, there are many of them, I say to myself,
"Don't worry and be happy, it always could be worse and tomorrow, well,
in due time, things will look better for sure"

Monkeys occasionally fall from the trees, then they stand up, shake
themselves for a while feeling sorry for themselves but then, climb up
the next tree.

Good Luck on your "journey"

Edited October 25, 2013 by JoeLing

[Shaksey]

The positive responses here are very heartening and good to see. Hope the OP can turn things around.

[SeabagsFull]

A known side-effect of treatment I had begun for an illness, depression once hit me so hard that it seemed I would be crushed by its weight. I was a jogger then, & it never dawned on me -- depression & all -- to not jog; it was part of my routine.

When I began jogging on about day-3 of my treatment, the depression hit me really hard. I was so down that I cried for the entire 40' or so of my run. Afterward, the depression lessened a bit. For the next several days, I found myself looking forward to the jog so that I could just let it out. Helped me a great deal.

If there's something you can do to occupy yourself, it too might help. An outlet, talking with someone close (or even a stranger anonymously), even crying, can be amazingly refreshing. In time, it will get easier.

[benalibina]

Ah, depression my old friend. I wrap you around me in an attempt to find comfort where there is none. What will you do to me this time? Will you lead me further into apathy where I find myself lost to any form of interest? Will you lead me to despair where I find myself wondering if the end will hurt or not? Will you bring to me items of my self destruction? Why must you come when I can least handle it? Why must you take so much away? Why do I let you in again and again? I am not strong enough to leave you on my own. Yet part of me doesn't want it to leave. Part of me likes to dwell in the inky blackness.

Hello, wish you weren't here, please don't leave and see you again soon.

Saying ?

[pitchag]

Life's rich tapestry. I dunno if there is anything I could write here that would make you feel better. You are still young with the rest of your life to live yet. I know Bangkok/Thailand, can be a lonley place for a foreigner who feels he is losing his way and the land of smiles no longer has him smiling.

It is perhaps passe these days, and has most likely been posted dozens of times here before. But I find that it is still a good read. It is my all time favourite piece of verse.

If

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling - 1895

Rudyard Kipling is my favourite author and this is my all time favourite poem it brings a tear to my eye every time I read it. I gave a framed illuminated print of this to my son when he was 13 and said it it a good way to live your life, last year he turned 20 and had the entire poem tattooed on his back so he would always have it and me with him, 9 hours on the table and cost $1000 needless to say I felt very honoured

[AYJAYDEE]

Life's rich tapestry. I dunno if there is anything I could write here that would make you feel better. You are still young with the rest of your life to live yet. I know Bangkok/Thailand, can be a lonley place for a foreigner who feels he is losing his way and the land of smiles no longer has him smiling.

It is perhaps passe these days, and has most likely been posted dozens of times here before. But I find that it is still a good read. It is my all time favourite piece of verse.

If

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling - 1895

Rudyard Kipling is my favourite author and this is my all time favourite poem it brings a tear to my eye every time I read it. I gave a framed illuminated print of this to my son when he was 13 and said it it a good way to live your life, last year he turned 20 and had the entire poem tattooed on his back so he would always have it and me with him, 9 hours on the table and cost $1000 needless to say I felt very honoured

good thing he didnt decide on this one

Take up the White Man's burden, Send forth the best ye breed

Go bind your sons to exile To serve your captives' need;

To wait in heavy harness, On fluttered folk and wild--

Your new-caught, sullen peoples, Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Man's burden, In patience to abide,

To veil the threat of terror And check the show of pride;

By open speech and simple, An hundred times made plain

To seek another's profit, And work another's gain.

Take up the White Man's burden, The savage wars of peace--

Fill full the mouth of Famine And bid the sickness cease;

And when your goal is nearest The end for others sought,

Watch sloth and heathen Folly Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Man's burden, No tawdry rule of kings,

But toil of serf and sweeper, The tale of common things.

The ports ye shall not enter, The roads ye shall not tread,

Go mark them with your living, And mark them with your dead.

Take up the White Man's burden And reap his old reward:

The blame of those ye better, The hate of those ye guard--

The cry of hosts ye humour (Ah, slowly!) toward the light:--

"Why brought he us from bondage, Our loved Egyptian night?"

Take up the White Man's burden, Ye dare not stoop to less--

Nor call too loud on Freedom To cloke your weariness;

By all ye cry or whisper, By all ye leave or do,

The silent, sullen peoples Shall weigh your gods and you.

Take up the White Man's burden, Have done with childish days--

The lightly proferred laurel, The easy, ungrudged praise.

Comes now, to search your manhood, through all the thankless years

Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom, The judgment of your peers!

[umbanda]

You are very young...and life is full of surprises...sometimes we need the strength to wait a while to nice things to happen...but...that's life. A journey on good and bad trails until one day...everything makes sense......The "secret" is never to quit! Keep that secret in your soul and do not share with any negative mind...

Are we alike.docx

Edited October 26, 2013 by anugoon

[benalibina]

You are very young...and life is full of surprises...sometimes we need the strength to wait a while to nice things to happen...but...that's life. A journey on good and bad trails until one day...everything makes sense......The "secret" is never to quit! Keep that secret in your soul and do not share with any negative mind...

Nice 1 !

[Silurian]

Ah, depression my old friend. I wrap you around me in an attempt to find comfort where there is none. What will you do to me this time? Will you lead me further into apathy where I find myself lost to any form of interest? Will you lead me to despair where I find myself wondering if the end will hurt or not? Will you bring to me items of my self destruction? Why must you come when I can least handle it? Why must you take so much away? Why do I let you in again and again? I am not strong enough to leave you on my own. Yet part of me doesn't want it to leave. Part of me likes to dwell in the inky blackness.

Hello, wish you weren't here, please don't leave and see you again soon.

Saying ?

No,just made it up on the spot. It is how I relate to my down times. Probably not helpful to the OP but just wanted to let them know they are not alone.

[iamariva1957]

Hay ... we have all been there! Life is not easy. It is full of pit falls and ups and downs. But we can get through it. Not always with pride and ease, but we get through it. If you need to talk then do so... we are all here to listen!

[Dancealot]

Hay ... we have all been there! Life is not easy. It is full of pit falls and ups and downs. But we can get through it. Not always with pride and ease, but we get through it. If you need to talk then do so... we are all here to listen!

Still listening