Dating a younger Thai girl - or why I love Thailand.

[LaraC]

Also you seem to put some moral stigma on charging for sex. And that men who don't pay for sex are somehow better than men who do. That's not really a Thai idea.

<deleted> company do you keep in Thailand that you think there is no moral stigma attached to charging for sex?

Let me tell you that most young Thai guys (edit: most young educated thai guys) would consider it an affront to be paying for sex, particularly from some ratchedy bar girl.

How do i know this? Because my bf has tons of thai male friends.

How many thai male friends do you have? How old are you..?

[FiftyTwo]

Also you seem to put some moral stigma on charging for sex. And that men who don't pay for sex are somehow better than men who do. That's not really a Thai idea.

<deleted> company do you keep in Thailand that you think there is no moral stigma attached to charging for sex?

Let me tell you that most young Thai guys (edit: most young educated thai guys) would consider it an affront to be paying for sex, particularly from some ratchedy bar girl.

How do i know this? Because my bf has tons of thai male friends.

How many thai male friends do you have? How old are you..?

And yet, according to a survey done in CM by the university.

50% of Thai boys age 16 have used the services of a prostitute, and 90% of male Thai university students have visited a brothel. The survey is floating around online somewhere, seems legit. Found it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oMJxzf8rELRhPriSQw0G_7y0zvdCnUHGJ7z4czxmJt8/edit?hl=en

Also many of the 300 'love hotels' in CM are centered around the universities, and if you ask nicely at the hotel desk (during school hours) they can often arrange for a girl in uniform to duck out of her lectures to visit you.

How many Thai male friends do I have?

No friends, but an extended family with many young and old Thai males, including both police and gangsters. On a blokes night out with a few hundred baht in their pockets, only one thing they want to do. Visit a brothel and drink as much rice whiskey as they can before they pass out.

Edited March 17, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[thailiketoo]

Also you seem to put some moral stigma on charging for sex. And that men who don't pay for sex are somehow better than men who do. That's not really a Thai idea.

<deleted> company do you keep in Thailand that you think there is no moral stigma attached to charging for sex?

Let me tell you that most young Thai guys (edit: most young educated thai guys) would consider it an affront to be paying for sex, particularly from some ratchedy bar girl.

How do i know this? Because my bf has tons of thai male friends.

How many thai male friends do you have? How old are you..?

You never ever tell a GF/gick/friend with benefits that you pay for it. Tis rule number one. Rule number two is you never tell the guys you pay for sex. Rule number three, you never tell guys you go to lady boy bars.

LaraC if you really want some information look up at what age Thai men lose their virginity and how and with whom. It's all out there.

But please you can't really think a man will tell you the truth about sex with hookers? Remember Bill Clinton. It took the Supreme Court to get him to tell Hillary about a minor stain on a blue dress. I could have told you the answer to that one. Bill says with a straight face, "I did not have sex with that woman." What man really believed him?

[thailiketoo]

I know you are not in Thailand but in Thailand everybody pays. Everybody pays sin sot.

Really??

I'm not in Thailand??

Jeez bro, your dementia's getting worse.

"Everybody pays??"

OK you keep telling yourself that if it brings you the validation you need

Go look in the mirror and put the below photograph below your mirror and say. Hugh Grant pays for sex but I don't pay for sex without laughing or crying.

[Scarpolo]

Also you seem to put some moral stigma on charging for sex. And that men who don't pay for sex are somehow better than men who do. That's not really a Thai idea.

<deleted> company do you keep in Thailand that you think there is no moral stigma attached to charging for sex?

Let me tell you that most young Thai guys (edit: most young educated thai guys) would consider it an affront to be paying for sex, particularly from some ratchedy bar girl.

How do i know this? Because my bf has tons of thai male friends.

How many thai male friends do you have? How old are you..?

That is 100% BULL

Just walk into any massage parlor, and you will see it primarily filled with young thai men

[HardenedSoul]

Ooooh hit a nerve did I?

OK well firstly, I've never said that I haven't paid for it. I have partaken - albeit very occasionally - but do I get on TV forums telling everyone that because I have paid for it, everyone else must be paying too?

That the lines between P4P and normal relationships with women have become so completely blurred for you tells me and everyone else reading your pitiful posts exactly what you're about.

Do you really think that saying "Come to Thailand" actually taunts me?

I mean, you're in your 70s, right?

[BookMan]

I mean, you're in your 70s, right?

The amount of different posting names he has used?

[MobileContent]

My wife is 27 years younger then me and we have a great baby boy. The only issue that she told me from the first time we talked on the phone. You got to be slim, no bald hairs and no hair on the chest and if I have any of those three issues don't come to see her in Isaan. In regards of money she don't care but slim, hairs on the head and no hairs on the chest was for her the most importance besides speaking Thai. Three years and we still are a great match and enjoy the days and nights.

Edited March 17, 2014 by MobileContent

[bigjules007]

I am 45 and my GF is 26, been with her a year and never had any problems, never argue, have a great life, never been happier and she is now pregnant, which we both planned (I have never had kids and time was getting on for me, for her it's a great age to have her first kid). She was a normal girl with a normal job and had never even met a falang or spoken to (face to face) until I met her....all she did was work and home and knock around with a few Thai friends when she had time.

She doesn't drink but she has integrated with my falang friends and comes to the bar with me when I want to go.

Before the "you are so naive" brigade step in.....I have lived in Thailand full time for 6 years, I was with my ex (36) with 2 kids (living away) and 2 divorces behind her for 5 years and yes, she was ex-bar. It cost me a fair bit, car in her name etc etc (yes, I was a bit naive for a while) BUT I learn't a lot and put it down to experience. Some good but a LOT bad! I was too blind to see it for a long time!

I made a conscious decision this time round to only date "normal' girls and am glad I did. It restored my faith in Thai girls. I took my time and dated a few "normal" girls and avoided bar girls and the bar girl environment completely!

I don't get demands for this or that, I just live a normal life with a normal girl....simple as!

There are a lot of cynics on here that think every girl is a money grabbing <deleted>....just not true. However, I DO see a lot of blokes going head first into relationships with bar girls I have known and see them heading for a fall, but they can learn the same as I did!

So, to answer your question OP, no problem at all being with a 25 year old! I just wish I had done it 3 years earlier!

I also posted here about a year ago with the same concerns, there were the usual cynics (probably sitting in their Singha singlets' having been stung by a few bar girls) with their comments....and some great comments!

My advice is <deleted> what anyone else thinks!

Sounds idyllic pal, well done!! Probably me being cynical, but it normally is plain sailing until there's kids involved, just speaking from experience but hopefully your GF is that one in a million:)

[Robininbkk]

I mean, you're in your 70s, right?

The amount of different posting names he has used?

The amount of his ''paid love''?

[Scarpolo]

they certainly are, just not the old-fashioned kind, i think "third-wave" is one descriptor?

certainly sex-positive

my mum too very strongly, but not as politically active

I fully understand what you mean by "feminist" as used here

The girl I am with is very strong willed and determined to have things her way, every time.

I of course, placate, but, still leave my guitar on the couch, still leave my shirts on chairs and still don't use the bin for toilet paper,

I also continue to leave my coffee spoon on the counter, awaiting its refill use,

all of these things are simple examples, of a woman who must have things under her control,

we all know, in the massage world, one step out of line brings in the bouncers,

girls in the vanilla world, do not have this amount of control over men, and this one isn't easy on giving it up,

Having been married to a Leo already, I know how to handle them, not unlike the Lion himself, who allows the Lioness to run amok, until he's determined to do something.

Being a Leo moon sign, arrests her desire to try to control me, and puts her at rest.

She has told me she was able to dominate all of her thai boyfriends, and that they understood when she didn't want sex from them.

I carry that understanding, and temper it, and have had no trouble adjusting to her, nor she to me,

Amazing tho, how the affection hs racheted up, as my departure moment grew closer tho

Your gf wants you to clean up after yourself and you consider that shes controlling and running amok?

BLimey!

If i do something that narks my bf, i do my uttmost not to do it. If i forget, im up for a gentle scolding..and will make a joke out of it.

I call that being considerate...not about relinquishing control.

..and thats not even getting into the line about rebuffing a partner if you arent up for sex. There was me thinking that was a basic human right...

Wanting a person to wash the spoon in between the first and second cup, is clearly to me, over the top control issues

As is the usage of the bin, instead of the toilet for paper,

Yes, I find that control freak insanity, and, that is what the toilets are for, so yes....

And, &lt;deleted&gt;, you mean, by,

"I am up for a gentle scolding?"

sounds to me like you are the slave

[thailiketoo]

The amount of his ''paid love''?

Celibacy is not for everyone.

[HardenedSoul]

Wanting a person to wash the spoon in between the first and second cup, is clearly to me, over the top control issues

As is the usage of the bin, instead of the toilet for paper,

Yes, I find that control freak insanity, and, that is what the toilets are for, so yes....

And, <deleted>, you mean, by,

"I am up for a gentle scolding?"

sounds to me like you are the slave

You apply an adversarial view to your dealings with women and this is very likely at the root of your lack of success with them.

You're a rebel without a cause.

You're seeing control and manipulation when she's just wanting to keep her place clean and in the manner that she thinks is best.

You're a guest - albeit a paying one - so shouldn't you try to respect her desire to do things her way in her own freakin' home rather than sitting there suggesting she's trying to control you?

Lose the chip on your shoulder and bloody well grow up, for cryin' out loud.

Edited March 17, 2014 by HardenedSoul

[nontabury]

Hate to break it to you, but most people who see you 2 together will think she's a prostitue. It's the image thailand has of old men with young girls.

Everytime I see an old man with a lot younger girl, prostitue goes in my head. Unless she is fat or ugly, then I believe it maybe a legit gf.

Many Thais I speak to have the same view

Many Thais think that when they see a girl with a Farang, she must automatically be a prostitute even if they are in the same age group. Is this fair on the girls who may never have been in the sex trade, Off course not.

Unfortunately on occasions these Thais may make the wrong assumption, just the same as you.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[JLCrab]

Oooh hit a nerve, did I? (Is it safe?)

[Scarpolo]

Wanting a person to wash the spoon in between the first and second cup, is clearly to me, over the top control issues

As is the usage of the bin, instead of the toilet for paper,

Yes, I find that control freak insanity, and, that is what the toilets are for, so yes....

And, <deleted>, you mean, by,

"I am up for a gentle scolding?"

sounds to me like you are the slave

You apply an adversarial view to your dealings with women and this is very likely at the root of your lack of success with them.

You're a rebel without a cause.

You're seeing control and manipulation when she's just wanting to keep her place clean and in the manner that she thinks is best.

You're a guest - albeit a paying one - so shouldn't you try to respect her desire to do things her way in her own freakin' home rather than sitting there suggesting she's trying to control you?

Lose the chip on your shoulder and bloody well grow up, for cryin' out loud.

Adversarial?

Today, I was chartered to drive a hole in her concrete wall to hang a picture.

I have handled a drill my entire life,

She, never, only watched other Thai repair and installation people.

With me so far?

She selects the drill bit. I see, it is the only bit ever used in the set. makes sense. (If you are thai)

I compare with the screw and plastic sheath, and it sizes up. No problem, the last guy who hung the clock used the same sizes.

So, I install the smallest bit in the drill, because I want to start the hole.

She insists I use the larger bit. Mind you now, she has never touched the drill in her life,

I instead, go about doing it the way I know is right, use a small bit to start the hole, so the larger bit, doesnt careen all over the wall,

So far, so good?

I get the hole started, and mention, this is similar to getting a woman started (goes over her head)

Continuing with the next size, to ensure the larger size will fit.

She comes over, insists I use the larger size.

I attempt to do that, see the larger bit wobbling, as it is too long for the drill, and understand anymore pressure and it may snap, and I lose an eye,

So, I go down two sizes to complete the hole,

Does she understand any of this? no, but at the end, wanted me to agree with the use of the larger bit first, notwithstanding my safety concern.

Yes, this is a control freak,

I am well aware of it,

And I enjoy her anyway

Edited March 17, 2014 by Scarpolo

[FiftyTwo]

Scarpolo playing guitar

[Ulysses G.]

Also you seem to put some moral stigma on charging for sex. And that men who don't pay for sex are somehow better than men who do. That's not really a Thai idea.

<deleted> company do you keep in Thailand that you think there is no moral stigma attached to charging for sex?

Let me tell you that most young Thai guys (edit: most young educated thai guys) would consider it an affront to be paying for sex, particularly from some ratchedy bar girl.

How do i know this? Because my bf has tons of thai male friends.

How many thai male friends do you have? How old are you..?

Either your boyfriend's friends are lying to him or he is lying to you. Young, educated Thai men have no problem with paying for sex. The brothels near the universities are full of them.

[FiftyTwo]

Also you seem to put some moral stigma on charging for sex. And that men who don't pay for sex are somehow better than men who do. That's not really a Thai idea.

<deleted> company do you keep in Thailand that you think there is no moral stigma attached to charging for sex?

Let me tell you that most young Thai guys (edit: most young educated thai guys) would consider it an affront to be paying for sex, particularly from some ratchedy bar girl.

How do i know this? Because my bf has tons of thai male friends.

How many thai male friends do you have? How old are you..?

Either your boyfriend's friends are lying to him or he is lying to you. Young, educated Thai men have no problem with paying for sex. The brothels near the universities are full of them.

Thai boyfriend lying to gf ....... surely not.

[nontabury]

"Anyways, I now date a gorgeous and sexy 25 year old office worker"

I sincerely wish any couple the best of happiness regardless of their age gap. However, I would really like to know if any of the posters in this forum would change their attitude if they were to learn that their younger sexy Thai gf was sleeping around with other farang guys their same age????

I've had my fair share of experiences with "gorgeous and sexy 25 year old office workers" in Bangkok, because I was a 25 year old office worker myself (now in my early 30s). I would have to say that 100% of these young hotties with farang boyfriends over 40 were up for fun in the bedroom with guys closer to their age. Not that all of these 40+ boyfriends were all out of shape, but 20 years is 20 years and we all know real sex isn't about 'taking care' and 'good heart'. Other posters have already mentioned that the moral compass here is different from back home.

Of course it's possible that your girlfriends "are different" from the hundreds I've known over the years in Bangkok. It's a different scene these days, just venture off the girlie bar path and into the social scene where guys in their 40's just simply won't be found (they woudn't feel comfortable). There are countless twenty-something farang guys in Bangkok these days, in good shape, and earning good money. If your girl knew she would get away with it, these guys wouldn't say No.

So, I would like to know.....would your attitude change? Every man is different I suppose. But for me, having seen what I've seen, I would hope that when I'm 40+ years in age, I'm well settled with a nice Thai woman of similar age.

I'm sure there must be truth in what you say, it reminds me of a few years ago when a friend and I, both over 55, got chatting to a couple of young girls( mid/early 20's)not b/g with good office jobs, they told us about their young Farang boyfriends, and then accepted our invitation to return to our hotel, where as you can imagine a great deal of fun was had. Saw them again on a few further occasions, again finishing up in bed with them. Forward on a couple of years and I saw one of them in Siam Paragon, and while having a coffee with her, she told me both she and the other girl had since got married to their Farang boyfriends. Strange old world.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[LaraC]

Wanting a person to wash the spoon in between the first and second cup, is clearly to me, over the top control issues

As is the usage of the bin, instead of the toilet for paper,

Yes, I find that control freak insanity, and, that is what the toilets are for, so yes....

And, <deleted>, you mean, by,

"I am up for a gentle scolding?"

sounds to me like you are the slave

You apply an adversarial view to your dealings with women and this is very likely at the root of your lack of success with them.

You're a rebel without a cause.

You're seeing control and manipulation when she's just wanting to keep her place clean and in the manner that she thinks is best.

You're a guest - albeit a paying one - so shouldn't you try to respect her desire to do things her way in her own freakin' home rather than sitting there suggesting she's trying to control you?

Lose the chip on your shoulder and bloody well grow up, for cryin' out loud.

Adversarial?

Today, I was chartered to drive a hole in her concrete wall to hang a picture.

I have handled a drill my entire life,

She, never, only watched other Thai repair and installation people.

With me so far?

She selects the drill bit. I see, it is the only bit ever used in the set. makes sense. (If you are thai)

I compare with the screw and plastic sheath, and it sizes up. No problem, the last guy who hung the clock used the same sizes.

So, I install the smallest bit in the drill, because I want to start the hole.

She insists I use the larger bit. Mind you now, she has never touched the drill in her life,

I instead, go about doing it the way I know is right, use a small bit to start the hole, so the larger bit, doesnt careen all over the wall,

So far, so good?

I get the hole started, and mention, this is similar to getting a woman started (goes over her head)

Continuing with the next size, to ensure the larger size will fit.

She comes over, insists I use the larger size.

I attempt to do that, see the larger bit wobbling, as it is too long for the drill, and understand anymore pressure and it may snap, and I lose an eye,

So, I go down two sizes to complete the hole,

Does she understand any of this? no, but at the end, wanted me to agree with the use of the larger bit first, notwithstanding my safety concern.

Yes, this is a control freak,

I am well aware of it,

And I enjoy her anyway

OTT for sure.

Suggestion.. why dont you just say "do you want to drill the hole yourself, or do you want me to drill it?"

Her reply, im guessing, would be "you".

Then reply in a cheeky but sweet way "ok sweetie, can you leave me to it then".

I dunno..maybe i have it wrong. I wouldnt want someone standing over me telling me how to do something either..but i also wouldnt allow them to stand over and watch my every move either whilst my blood boils.

Id simply make light by saying something like, Oy! let me get on with it and go make me a cuppa! (Of course in an amicable joking way!).

If i was watched over, id simply put down the drill (or whatever else) and say if im going to be told how to do a job, i may as well leave you to do it yourself.

Simple.

[wym]

Pretty obvious she thinks you're an idjit

[LaraC]

Also you seem to put some moral stigma on charging for sex. And that men who don't pay for sex are somehow better than men who do. That's not really a Thai idea.

<deleted> company do you keep in Thailand that you think there is no moral stigma attached to charging for sex?

Let me tell you that most young Thai guys (edit: most young educated thai guys) would consider it an affront to be paying for sex, particularly from some ratchedy bar girl.

How do i know this? Because my bf has tons of thai male friends.

How many thai male friends do you have? How old are you..?

Either your boyfriend's friends are lying to him or he is lying to you. Young, educated Thai men have no problem with paying for sex. The brothels near the universities are full of them.

Thai boyfriend lying to gf ....... surely not.

You misunderstand.

Its not a thai guy saying to a girl

Its a thai guy(s) discussing and saying to a farang guy (same ages).

I dont doubt for a second that there are young guys who use prostitutes. Im not that naive.

Im saying that there seems to be a stigma attached amongst educated young thai guys. At least in terms of admitting to using prostitutes to their mates.

So, as i was addressing the comment that sleeping around/prostitution etc isnt deemed a problem in thailand and is openly ok etc, i was replying that i did not agree. Even if easily accessable there is STILL a stigma attached.

Ok, business-men attending higher class brothel bars may be seen as ok..but it is becoming more dated (older businessmen rather than younger)...but for the general young and educated THai man if he indulges its done so privately, not openly, and not without stigma attached.

Now, you may next say that my own bf was bs'ing me. Fair point. However, i didnt ask him. He just mentioned it one time as he was surprised by the reaction of his thai guy friends he brought it up with (he was expecting them to be upfront about it, but they werent. THey said they would be ashamed to be seen to go to a prostitute. Of course, that doesnt mean they do not). As for my bf, hes got free reign to do what he wants, as have i. Im no persons jail mate, so the choices we make are up to us. Im monogomous by choice, and by all accounts it would seem he is too. Hard as that may be to believe for so many of you.

Anyway, the only worry id ever have is if another farang girl was to show too much interest in him. i personally have no fear of a thai girl moving in on him, hes been there, seen it, done it. He seems no longer interested in them as doesnt give a second glance, but farang girls do turn his head from time to time.

[FiftyTwo]

Its a thai guy(s) discussing and saying to a farang guy (same ages).

I dont doubt for a second that there are young guys who use prostitutes. Im not that naive.

Im saying that there seems to be a stigma attached amongst educated young thai guys. At least in terms of admitting to using prostitutes to their mates.

I would say it is Thai guys not as friendly with a foreigner guy as a foreigner guy thinks.

My Thai rellys have absolutely no problem taking me whoring.

Clearly someone is lying, educated Thai guys go whoring ALL the time.

Almost all guys in Thailand pay for sex at one time or another (excluding HardenedSoul who never has).

Edited March 17, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[Ulysses G.]

Now, you may next say that my own bf was bs'ing me. Fair point. However, i didnt ask him. He just mentioned it one time as he was surprised by the reaction of his thai guy friends he brought it up with

He is bs'ing you or his friends are bs'ing him. The brothels near Chiang Mai University are full of students every single day and they come in groups.

Edited March 17, 2014 by Ulysses G.

[wym]

Yes the BKK spots' primary demographic is groups of young guys going out together in groups, very flash cars, no way these aren't wealthy "educated" (sic) guys, they pay far more than farang because the girls know it's for ST fun ONLY, no chance of long con there.

Many uni girls on offer as well, looks to me like most of them.

It's the older guys that show up solo, at least at the outdoor spots.

Lara, I think the fact you're female is shaping the impressions you're getting.

[HardenedSoul]

Lara, I don't know why you're bothering.

You don't really expect these clowns to pass up an opportunity to convince you that because the locals pay for some massage fun, that validates their belief that, by extension, it's perfectly normal to pay your Thai wife and her deadbeat extended family a monthly stipend in return for coitus 3 times a week and a cooked meal each evening.

[BookMan]

Is LaraC a woman?

His profile sex says 'Male'

Edited March 17, 2014 by BookMan

[wym]

We just get the mia noi skipping the usual pain of also maintaining a mia luang.

[Ulysses G.]

it's perfectly normal to pay your Thai wife and her deadbeat extended family a monthly stipend in return for coitus 3 times a week and a cooked meal each evening.

It's perfectly normal all over the world. It's called marriage.