The "I've been here longer than you" people.

[Deaw]

One thing which really annoys me now that I live in a place with lots of expats {Jomtien} is the need for long-term guys to let you know JUST how long they have been living in Thailand, and if anyone has less time in than they do they are somehow not worthy to be in the presence of the grizzled, hardened veterans. It seems to happen almost every time I get into a conversation with these guys.

Happened again 2 nights ago, was in a restaurant with a British friend and he stepped outside for a smoke. The guy alone at the next table had heard us talking and I heard him talking to the waitress and his accent told me he was either a Yank or a Canadian, so I asked where he was from.

Immediately flustered, he says "I am from here." Really? You look pretty tall and white to be a Thai, and your English is perfect!

So I pressed him; No, do you come from the states or Canada?

"I'm from Michigan, but have been living here for 14 years now", as if he were addressing one of the plebeians, someone clearly beneath him.

Cool, I tell him, still trying to strike up a friendly conversation....I am from Boston and have been coming here since 2000 as well! "Well, I LIVE here and haven't been back to the states since then."

Well, excuse me and my high-seasons only!

Happened not too long ago in BKK as well; some older guy with a long, Hemmingway-style beard just HAD to tell my buddy and myself he has been living in Bangkok for 20 years, despite the fact neither one of us had even asked him. Anything. At all.

I get it, those way-cool veterans who live in Thailand and don't get back to their home countries very often are brave, self-important men who feel the need to share that fact with guys who have been coming or living here for less time than themselves. But go share that fact with someone who cares, because I surely don't.

[ThaidDown]

Not everyone is like that, but agree that a lot are. If their opening statement does not contain an indication as to how long they have been here then their next question asks (demands) it direct.

If asked by someone I have just met I usually reply 'a while' or something similar. If they then loudly declare 'I've been here xx years' I often just mutter 'bloody newbies' and move on.

(note.. I've been here 'a while')

[Jingthing]

I get the OP's point but being here long myself (sorry) I think you have to look at the INTENTION of sharing that info. I don't think I do the annoying thing the OP is complaining about, which is more like a pissing contest. As an example, if I meet another American who I can tell right away is a tourist (sorry it's obvious) and he starts talking to me about tourist things, I feel I've got to tell him that I live here because I am basically saying I can't really personally relate to the way you see things here. Not saying superior, just different.

[HeavyDrinker]

Means nothing!

I know a few folk who have been here more than 20 years and are still clueless about the place and whose language skills don't extend beyond "Sawatdee Krap"

[mozzer3953]

I couldn't agree more. I'm relatively new to Thailand and I'm already sick of the 'I've been here longer than you, listen to my expert advice (mainly based on failed relationships with bar girls) <deleted>'.

Sent from my GT-N8010 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[transam]

Means nothing!

I know a few folk who have been here more than 20 years and are still clueless about the place and whose language skills don't extend beyond "Sawatdee Krap"

Me..................

[wolf5370]

Mmm wonder who has the hang up here - these guys for telling you how long they have lived here, or you for being bothered by it (kind of sounds like penis envy - big guys like to talk about it, small guys with a hang-up get offended, everyone else couldn't are less). Sometimes newcomers appreciate meeting people that have been here a while - they can help in so many ways with the simple and not so simple stuff - even from their place on the bar stall next to you. Things like we see here often in the local forums: Good dentists, nice moo bahns, expat bars, places to avoid, best place for a massage without getting solicited, best place for fish and chips/decent beer/to buy vegemite and so on. Can help get the conversation moving, and answering "yeah me too" for other longer termers, it can launch the nostalgic bit.

I might also add that, the answer to "Where you from?" being returned as "Nakom Somewhere" is often a defence mechanism. Thai strangers ask that all the time and it can really get grating - replying, "Bangkok" can sometimes stop them cold.

[Jingthing]

I couldn't agree more. I'm relatively new to Thailand and I'm already sick of the 'I've been here longer than you, listen to my expert advice (mainly based on failed relationships with bar girls) <deleted>'.

Sent from my GT-N8010 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I agree with you. I speak LESS THAI than I did when I moved here. Seriously. But knowing that about a person is meaningful information. Again, I think it's about the intention of sharing the information and also the intention of hiding the information. For example in my case I might be smarter to hide from Thais how long I've been here because not caring to bother to learn Thai (which is an INTENTIONAL decision on my part) would often be seen as impolite. But I don't hide it.

[i claudius]

Means nothing!

I know a few folk who have been here more than 20 years and are still clueless about the place and whose language skills don't extend beyond "Sawatdee Krap"

Oh ,so you know my mate then? As for myself ,i dont talk to tourists

[ThaidDown]

Means nothing!

I know a few folk who have been here more than 20 years and are still clueless about the place and whose language skills don't extend beyond "Sawatdee Krap"

Agreed, especially the clueless ones who think they know everything and insist on telling you how it is(n't).

Always learning, have to Google "Sawatdee Krap" to see what it means ! (joking!)

[marko kok prong]

I'm not normally annoyed with most of these types, and sometimes they have some interesting stories to tell.

However, the ones in this group I really can't stand are those that have been in Thailand for a long stretch and are constantly trying too hard to convince themselves and others about how "Thai" they are. They speak their (usually awful) Thai mixed with English, even to other westerners they might be meeting for the first time. They might wear a certain color shirt and a certain rubber braclet declaring their love for all things Thai. I could go on, but I'm sure most know the type. These guys are deluded beyond imagination.

Agree mate,a couple of years ago at our village Bang fai festival there was this ludicrous falang, dressed as a Thai dancing around,when he saw me and my friend he pointed at us "falangs" he exclaimed, the Thai's then told him he to was a falang,he obviously did not speak Thai as he answered them in english 'no they falang i Thai',all the kon Thai were laughing at him by now but the idiot thought they were laughing along with him,later he approached us and asked do you speak English, i replied 'pom mai put pasah angrit,kun put pasah thai dai mai" he shook his head bewildered,and walked off mumbling something about "bloody Russians',my friend and i still laugh about it to this day.,what a complete T**ser this bloke was.

[HardenedSoul]

The vibe I get from people like that is that they somehow want you to believe that they've managed to endure or survive in Thailand for XX number of years as if it's really, really difficult to be here away from the comforts of the West.

I usually make my excuses and depart hastily because it's inevitably followed by a tirade about the West, the women and, especially with the yanks, taxes.

[marko kok prong]

Mmm wonder who has the hang up here - these guys for telling you how long they have lived here, or you for being bothered by it (kind of sounds like penis envy - big guys like to talk about it, small guys with a hang-up get offended, everyone else couldn't are less). Sometimes newcomers appreciate meeting people that have been here a while - they can help in so many ways with the simple and not so simple stuff - even from their place on the bar stall next to you. Things like we see here often in the local forums: Good dentists, nice moo bahns, expat bars, places to avoid, best place for a massage without getting solicited, best place for fish and chips/decent beer/to buy vegemite and so on. Can help get the conversation moving, and answering "yeah me too" for other longer termers, it can launch the nostalgic bit.

I might also add that, the answer to "Where you from?" being returned as "Nakom Somewhere" is often a defence mechanism. Thai strangers ask that all the time and it can really get grating - replying, "Bangkok" can sometimes stop them cold.

If someone asks were i am from i generally say North,if were are you going south,east or west,this generally stops unwanted conversations dead in their tracks.

[stoneyboy]

The ironic thing is most of these people you speak of,I've met them first hand also,speak hardly any Thai and despise the place,hang on this could be your average TV member.

[DP25]

I've been here a while, but in real life I always lie and say I just got here. I'm simply not interested in sharing personal information or answering questions about Thailand to random strangers. I prefer people don't ask me how long I've been here, what I do, ask me for advice, my opinions on Thailand/Thai people/Thai politics, or anything like that all, so I just lie whenever they do and pretend to be fresh off the boat. If they start going on and try to give a lecture it's time for me to move on cause I don't want to listen to that from someone else either.

[Jingthing]

The ironic thing is most of these people you speak of,I've met them first hand also,speak hardly any Thai and despise the place,hang on this could be your average TV member.

You make a good point. Familiarity breeds contempt.

[JLCrab]

Not a problem for me. I'm a recluse and rarely speak to anyone in English.

[marko kok prong]

Not a problem for me. I'm a recluse and rarely speak to anyone in English.

See Jl,i told you you needed to get out more.

[JLCrab]

Not a problem for me. I'm a recluse and rarely speak to anyone in English.

See Jl,i told you you needed to get out more.

Why? The girls make house calls.

[Ricedout]

A lot of these so called 'ex pats' think because they've been her X amount of years their sh1t don't stink and think travellers are beneath them and 'look at me' syndrome I've got loads of money to live here etc etc, now I served my Thai time for about seven years but was always helpful to travellers if they asked me for advice but never got above my station thinking I know more than you because I lived here etc, most of my friends are still in the Los but none of them ever think their too big or important to talk too, maybe it's a American thing about how long you've stayed there idk..

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[Jingthing]

Well, I am happy to help tourists when I can.

But in Pattaya if a tourist asks where to go on Walking Street I can't tell them because I don't know because that's a tourist trap. It's similar to when I lived in San Francisco and a tourist asked about a good restaurant in Fisherman's Wharf, and the only kind answer was: go elsewhere!

[mallyrd]

Means nothing!

I know a few folk who have been here more than 20 years and are still clueless about the place and whose language skills don't extend beyond "Sawatdee Krap"

That's me to a tee, 28 years and don't know shit about Thailand!!

[Costas2008]

Not a problem for me. I'm a recluse and rarely speak to anyone in English.

But.....you do speak to us JL on TVF......and we like you.

[wow64]

I guess they have to win at something.

Anyone else get there gold thai watch in the mail??? Ahh you havent been here long enough..yeah they send one to you after you become an expert at knowing everything that anyone wants to know. Usually takes about 30 years but i did it in 2 weeks.

Sent from my c64

[JLCrab]

Not a problem for me. I'm a recluse and rarely speak to anyone in English.

But.....you do speak to us JL on TVF......and we like you.

Thank you. I have US based NGO that deals now with several US Federal Court cases and government policy issues in the US and internationally through the UN principally in Geneva. I spend a lot of time online often at odd hours. I tend to write as briskly as possible or else my stuff in those arenas will just not get read by lawyers, government officials, and heads of large international NGOs who are my typical audience.

So spending time on here on TV is often a respite from reading legal documents or monitoring online meetings or testimony. I just do not tend to meet a lot of farang/non-Thais. I don't drink; don't smoke; and I know nothing about footie. Although my Thai skills are not on par with those in the Thai language forum I have no problem speaking with Thais who speak no English. So thanks from here in the outskirts of KK.

[weegee]

Not a problem for me. I'm a recluse and rarely speak to anyone in English.

See Jl,i told you you needed to get out more.

Why? The girls make house calls.

That one gets my poster of the year award......

[marko kok prong]

Not a problem for me. I'm a recluse and rarely speak to anyone in English.

See Jl,i told you you needed to get out more.

Why? The girls make house calls.

Ah,now i see,good on ya mate.

[Seastallion]

Mmm wonder who has the hang up here - these guys for telling you how long they have lived here, or you for being bothered by it (kind of sounds like penis envy - big guys like to talk about it, small guys with a hang-up get offended, everyone else couldn't are less). Sometimes newcomers appreciate meeting people that have been here a while - they can help in so many ways with the simple and not so simple stuff - even from their place on the bar stall next to you. Things like we see here often in the local forums: Good dentists, nice moo bahns, expat bars, places to avoid, best place for a massage without getting solicited, best place for fish and chips/decent beer/to buy vegemite and so on. Can help get the conversation moving, and answering "yeah me too" for other longer termers, it can launch the nostalgic bit.

I might also add that, the answer to "Where you from?" being returned as "Nakom Somewhere" is often a defence mechanism. Thai strangers ask that all the time and it can really get grating - replying, "Bangkok" can sometimes stop them cold.

If someone asks were i am from i generally say North,if were are you going south,east or west,this generally stops unwanted conversations dead in their tracks.

Is it possible that your reply of "North" invokes aghast thoughts of "Isaan" in these people's minds, and thus their reluctance to continue the conversation?

Just teasing, I have no real anti-Isaan feeling.

[somchaismith]

The starngest thing is the ones who've been here for years and can barely speak a word of Thai, are still hanging around tourist orientated girlie bars and really know jack shit about Thai culture.

Edited May 5, 2014 by somchaismith

[thailiketoo]

The starngest thing is the ones who've been here for years and can barely speak a word of Thai, are still hanging around tourist orientated girlie bars and really know jack shit about Thai culture.

It follows the only way you would know this, is hanging around girlie bars talking to them about how long they have been here.

I don't live in a tourist area, don't talk to strangers and only go to places that serve alcohol for food at lunch or dinner. I would go to a go go bar but there aren't any where I live.

The only long term stayers who don't speak Thai and live in tourist areas are dullards at best. Just from a financial point of view it is dead dumb.