.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png.8488ab72b8bb2e508209bfe3211b6e08.png)
-
Recently Browsing 0 members
- No registered users viewing this page.
Announcements
-
Topics
-
-
Latest posts...
-
-
4,291
Latest developments and discussion of recent events in the Ukraine War
The OP is correct. Kim does not the people of NK to know how the rest of the world lives. -
32
Iran Poised for 'Strong and Complex' Strike on Israel Amid U.S. Warnings
Surely you must know my answer to that ? Israel are wiping out Hamas, the terrorist group responsible for the Oct 7 the terror attack and 20 000 of those dead were Hamas and the rest got killed in the process , as they do in all wars But need to stick to the topic , Iran vowed to escalate the war -
39
Leaving Thailand 2024
I suppose if I had unlimited finances, I would probably live here only a few months of the year. I despise the government and immigration here, and it does feel like the nation is moving backwards. But, considering the fact that I do not have a fortune, I will stay. There are many issues to consider. Going back to the US is not an option. I would not want to live there now, unless I was being paid over a million dollars a year, and then I would only do it for 3 years, and then leave. For me, it is about quality of life, and my level of fulfillment on a daily basis, which I seem to have here in abundance. A big factor here, is the relatively light hearted attitude of the people. You just do not find that in the US, where most seem bitter, disenchanted, unfulfilled, and heavy hearted. And everything is over priced. This is an entirely subjective topic, of course. But some of us live very good lives here. Some of us have been fortunate enough to find an outstanding woman, who is delightful to be around, on a daily basis, always has our back, and is fun, smart, and lovely. For me, that likelihood of finding that back in the US, would be very low. So, that is a big factor for me. The second factor is just the quality of life. Sure, I miss alot of the culture back home. The theatre, independent film (which I can download here with no issues at all, and a super fast 1 gbps fiber optic connection, at under 700 baht per month!), stand up comedy, live jazz, etc. But I have a lovely home that I rent, for about 8% of what I would pay in California, I live very well on an income which is not huge, have access to great health care, at a tiny fraction of what it costs in the US, and do not have to put up with alot of the aggravation that I had to when I lived back there. I will stay. Happily. I have my issues, but I would have issues anywhere I went. -
1
The Subtle Shift from Boyfriend to ‘Useful Assistant’ in Thailand
Some women want money, some will accept a form of indentured servitude. I prefer to offer money! -
20
Foreigners brawl on Patong Beach sparks criticism of Thai laws
Throw them both in jail, giving us a bad name in Thailand who respect Thai Law. Both scum!! -
20
Foreigners brawl on Patong Beach sparks criticism of Thai laws
why is this news? in any bar area anywhere in the world there are fights you've confused Patong with walking street & soi 6 in Pattaya 5555 -
1
The Subtle Shift from Boyfriend to ‘Useful Assistant’ in Thailand
After spending decades here in Thailand, I’ve had my share of long-term relationships with Thai women. Some worked in the nightlife scene; others had more conventional jobs. But in all cases, there was never any money involved. None of these relationships were a sex-for-money exchange. They grew from connection, curiosity, and a genuine desire to be with each other. And for a while, it was just that—simple, fun, even a bit idyllic. I moved in with some, stayed separate from others, but each felt like a real partnership. Yet over time, something subtle, almost unspoken, would shift. What began as a classic love story somehow evolved into something… well, different. One day you’re the boyfriend, sharing laughs and the occasional cultural misstep, and the next, you feel like a mix of partner, assistant, and on-call problem-solver—kind of like a boyfriend service. The funny thing was, nothing was ever asked of me directly. It was as if I’d been drafted into a new role without warning, a subtle shift I couldn’t pinpoint until I was already in too deep. In the beginning, I chalked it up to the honeymoon period ending—that natural point where real life seeps in, and the glow of new romance takes on a different light. But it became something I noticed time and time again. It was as if each relationship, regardless of her background, went through the same phases, with the same unspoken expectations rising to the surface. Don’t get me wrong; I never minded helping out—it often gave me satisfaction to help with the day-to-day things that were tough for them. And sure, it’s natural for any relationship to have moments of give-and-take, a balance that ebbs and flows. But somewhere along the line, that balance tipped, and suddenly I found myself playing a role I hadn’t realized I’d signed up for. It went beyond simple favors. It became expected that I’d be the reliable one, the steady fixture for life’s little demands. Over time, I began to feel less like a partner and more like a fixture in the background, always expected to be ready to step in when needed. What was surprising was how natural this shift felt—like it wasn’t questioned on either side. I never saw it as manipulation or something done consciously. Like something you just do for someone else when you care about their well being. It was more as if a script was unfolding that neither of us had written but both knew by heart. And I suppose I went along with it, partly out of affection, partly because it just seemed to happen so quietly. The strange part? It didn’t feel unfair, just… strangely inevitable. I’ve asked myself whether I’m somehow inviting this role, unintentionally giving off the vibe of someone who’s willing to take on those responsibilities. Maybe there’s some truth to that. Maybe, in the early days of dating, I’d unconsciously offer to help out a little more than necessary, thinking I was just being polite, caring and nice and crossing one of those cultural bridges. Or maybe it’s that in Thailand, with its unique balance of independence and family ties, stepping in for each other is just part of the dynamic. What strikes me now, looking back, is how universal this experience became across all the different relationships. All five of the relationships lasted at least five years each. And it didn’t matter if she’d come from a small rural town or had a Bangkok upbringing. It was like, once the honeymoon phase faded and things started becoming more comfortable, I became someone functional above and beyond being the romantic partner. I went from being the spontaneous boyfriend to the one you turn to for life’s little logistical issues, the one who helps smooth over the everyday hiccups. I guess, on some level, I thought this shift would happen in any long-term relationship, regardless of country or culture. But something about it here, in this setting, in Thailand, feels a bit more amplified. Maybe it’s the unspoken expectations or the social dynamics that add weight to the role. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s just one of those cross-cultural quirks—where what one person sees as practical, another sees as a kind of slow encroachment. Or maybe it’s simply part of the way things flow in a relationship where two worlds meet, not always understanding each other but somehow finding a rhythm. Does it perhaps gravitate back towards the concept that men are always supposed to be the providers and protectors in some way? So, I’m left with this strange feeling of being on both sides—grateful to be trusted, but wary of becoming a bit too indispensable. I can’t help but wonder if others have felt this too: the slow shift from lover to something else, not unwanted but undeniably different than just being a boyfriend in the conventional sense. Has anyone else found themselves in this in-between? Not exactly a life assistant, but not quite just a boyfriend either? And does that change the way you see the relationship with a Thai woman, knowing that while you’re still “together,” it’s taken on a flavor that’s, well, part romantic, part everyday care giver?
-
-
Popular in The Pub
-
.thumb.jpeg.d2d19a66404642fd9ff62d6262fd153e.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now