How does one handle permanently drunk brothers of GF's?

[LivinLOS]

His leg is far from 100%, but to add to it he took another tumble, badly breaking his tibia and fibula (arm).

Back to biology class for you..

[rockyysdt]

His leg is far from 100%, but to add to it he took another tumble, badly breaking his tibia and fibula (arm).

Back to biology class for you..

. Sorry.

Radius and ulna.

Well spotted.

The former are from the leg injury.

[rockyysdt]

maybe what peer1000 suggested is not such a bad idea ... talk to the GF and have her initiate it and make him relocate to the Wat for a few months. Buy him his robes and whatever and drop him off there ... talk to the chief monk and explain the problem with him ...

Leave him at the Wat so he can become a monk and have him realize he needs to stop drinking or he's finished.

This appears to be the best solution I've heard ...

In all this advice, everyone is forgetting what the brother desires.

Only he can decide what he should do.

Would you become a Monk if I bought you robes?

[EmptyHead]

Ok Rockyysdt,

As much as we are all enjoying philosophizing about your drunken problem. Is there any way we can help you? (which is what we have been trying to do)

You seem to be disagreeing with most of our comments and want to philosophize. In other words, you are wasting our time.

The title of this thread is: how does one handle permanently drunk brothers of gfs?

So why don't you give us your answer to that question. It seems you already know the answer and don't actually want any advice.

[rockyysdt]

Gee E H.

I'm sorry you get this impression.

I did say I appreciated everyone's input.

Some replies much fun, and others brought out much personal feelings (shared experience).

I've already gained much (someone to listen).

In terms of philosophizing, I broadly practice Buddhism. Sorry it comes over in my posts.

In terms of an answer, there really isn't one clear way without a corresponding negative.

Will tread warily, not get involved, and adjust as things unfold.

Regarding my personal discomfort/fear, will observe without attachment and focus on breathe.

Thanks.

R

[Tarteso]

Rockyysdt

I understand that each case is different , I had a similar problem and I had to decide after a year of continuous discomfort, leave my girlfriend. unfortunately I had to choose between my happiness or misfortune to endure such suffering . I agree, like someone wrote, you can give one last chance , try to convince him to go to a temple , and keep him away from alcohol...maybe change the status and became the peace in the family and in your home.

[rockyysdt]

Rockyysdt

I understand that each case is different , I had a similar problem and I had to decide after a year of continuous discomfort, leave my girlfriend. unfortunately I had to choose between my happiness or misfortune to endure such suffering . I agree, like someone wrote, you can give one last chance , try to convince him to go to a temple , and keep him away from alcohol...maybe change the status and became the peace in the family and in your home.

Thanks P.

Sounds like you went through some pain.

My situation is unique.

I'm not moving in.

I've learned relationships can endure longer if not live together.

Beings of ego or self (as we all are), rarely find enduring happiness externally.

For me, much better to appreciate without control or ownership.

A friend is learning this first hand. Buy Thai wife a house, a condo, a car, holidays, cash, farm and have child. She put on 15kgs, have headaches, not make love, argue violently. For all this he works double and triple shifts in his country for this privilege. He had expectations and now suffers.

I only have to put up with brother seasonally and GF can do what she likes without strings.

I have no expectations and much metta and karuna.

[kaorop]

Sponsor his booze and buy him a faster bike, problem solved soon.

Why are so many suggesting this?

What if he took his child on the bike or hit someone else? yeah problem solved

Some nasty and just as messed up people here

[rockyysdt]

Sponsor his booze and buy him a faster bike, problem solved soon.

Why are so many suggesting this?

What if he took his child on the bike or hit someone else?

Such replies are easily explained.

In part come from years of watching Bugs Bunny and Loonie Tune cartoons.

Often violence depicted with humour.

It's not that anyone is violent, but just displaying a sense of humour.

[CapeThai]

It is what it is.... Nothing you can do about it. You either just avoid him completely and live with it or leave your GF and move on. She will most definitely NOT just send him packing because of your discomfort mate...

[johninbkk]

Did you say he rides the scooter after drinking to he's totally wasted!

I'd buy him a 650 cc......save him the daily torment.

[steven100]

I still think the temple for 3-6 months is the best idea. At least give it a shot ....

he'll be out of your hair for a while and I'm sure the GF would agree ....

[rockyysdt]

Tonight the peace was shattered.

He got lucky last night and bagged 5 kgs of frogs which sold like hotcakes.

Flush was baht he got into the alcohol at his friends place and rode home tonight smashed.

Has been ranting and extremely loud and abusive.

He approached me insinuating I had his lighter (I don't smoke).

GF raised a chair at him and threatened to call the Army.

She said she's only been patient this long due to the mothers wishes but is considering having him put away.

He gets blind and then carries on in an incontrollable mad like state.

Completely ruined the evening for me.

My worry is also how his 9 year old daughter handling it psychologically and the environment the GF must endure.

She's also spent quite a bit on his hospitalisation.

[maprao]

I suggest you take a vacation for a week. Take your gf with you.

After he goes or find someone else and somewhere else to live. So many other nice independent ladies out there

[NickJ]

Is he dead yet ? or are you divorced yet?

[steven100]

Tonight the peace was shattered.

He got lucky last night and bagged 5 kgs of frogs which sold like hotcakes.

Flush was baht he got into the alcohol at his friends place and rode home tonight smashed.

Has been ranting and extremely loud and abusive.

He approached me insinuating I had his lighter (I don't smoke).

GF raised a chair at him and threatened to call the Army.

She said she's only been patient this long due to the mothers wishes but is considering having him put away.

He gets blind and then carries on in an incontrollable mad like state.

Completely ruined the evening for me.

My worry is also how his 9 year old daughter handling it psychologically and the environment the GF must endure.

She's also spent quite a bit on his hospitalisation.

Not good .....

You have three choices ...

1. Drop him off at the temple.

2. GF needs to kick him out.

3. You move either with the GF or without.

[rockyysdt]

This morning he took off.

GF said he had no recollection of the previous night.

She said things were clear for her now.

He changes or he's out.

[nottocus]

She may need to divorce him.

[rockyysdt]

She may need to divorce him.

?

[rockyysdt]

He forages and hunts for cash.

Can easily save for alcohol.

Black Cock for example (white spirit) is 40% proof and 138 baht 700ml.

[billphillips]

She may need to divorce him.

?

Someone is suggesting that the g/f "brother" may be something else. It's not uncommon in Thailand for the person that is introduced to you as a brother, cousin or other family relative is in fact the husband or long term boyfriend of your girlfriend. Believe me, it's not an unusual event. If this was the case, it may explain his excessive drinking and bad behaviour. Give it some thought and consideration, see if the dots join up.

[rockyysdt]

She may need to divorce him.

?

Someone is suggesting that the g/f "brother" may be something else. It's not uncommon in Thailand for the person that is introduced to you as a brother, cousin or other family relative is in fact the husband or long term boyfriend of your girlfriend. Believe me, it's not an unusual event. If this was the case, it may explain his excessive drinking and bad behaviour. Give it some thought and consideration, see if the dots join up.

The suggestion seems clichéd.

I've read of this a number of times but you can't use it to describe all or the majority of relationships.

I've known their family for 4 years.

GF heavily into non religious (original) Buddhism and aware of kharma from such behavior.

I also met brothers ex wife.

He's fallen apart since his first big accident.

Broke his leg and had to sell his rice farm to pay expenses. The wife cracked it and left him.

Definitely not the case, but if it was, good luck to them.

[MaeJoMTB]

She's also spent quite a bit on his hospitalisation.

The pitiful plea of the outstretched hand, 'please I need it for my family' ........ did you help her out?

You do know Thai government hospitals are free?

[rockyysdt]

She's also spent quite a bit on his hospitalisation.

The pitiful plea of the outstretched hand, 'please I need it for my family' ........ did you help her out?

You do know Thai government hospitals are free?

She's never asked me once for money for her brother.

Whilst on the subject of free hospitalisation, maybe I can bring you up to speed

A lovely Thai lady I knew, in her fifties ended up with liver cancer. Doctors stole her early time by prescribing drugs for schizophrenia of all things, and then later digestive and vitamin tablets, for which she had go pay. The good "private doctor" a year later showed the damage on a simple ultra sound. By this time it was too late.

Current GF broke her legs in a train accident. The friendly guys at the public hospital wanted her to sign an authority to remove both legs.

She told them to f*"k off and got transferred to private. One leg saved.

Her brother went public for his busted leg and now hobbles.

How also went public for his busted lower arm. They didn't align the bones properly. It now looks like a twistie.

I'd rather busy a butcher.

[MaeJoMTB]

Current GF broke her legs in a train accident. The friendly guys at the public hospital wanted her to sign an authority to remove both legs.

She told them to f*"k off and got transferred to private. One leg saved.

Her brother went public for his busted leg and now hobbles.

How also went public for his busted lower arm. They didn't align the bones properly. It now looks like a twistie.

I'd rather busy a butcher.

So you have a one legged girlfriend?

(whose 'brother' gets legless every night?)

555, I couldn't make this stuff up!

[rockyysdt]

Thanks for your support.

[EmptyHead]

Don't worry about him, Rocky. His GF is just out of high-school, so he's a little immature (even as a senior citizen).

[MaeJoMTB]

Don't worry about him, Rocky. His GF is just out of high-school, so he's a little immature (even as a senior citizen).

Wife ...... and she starts university soon ..... so I'll be having one of those wealthy, educated, half Chinese, hiso, good family wimmin ...... like all the other top respected forum posters!

[EmptyHead]

Don't worry about him, Rocky. His GF is just out of high-school, so he's a little immature (even as a senior citizen).

Wife ...... and she starts university soon ..... so I'll be having one of those wealthy, educated, half Chinese, hiso, good family wimmin ...... like all the other top respected forum posters!

I expect they are over-rated.

[billphillips]

She may need to divorce him.

?

Someone is suggesting that the g/f "brother" may be something else. It's not uncommon in Thailand for the person that is introduced to you as a brother, cousin or other family relative is in fact the husband or long term boyfriend of your girlfriend. Believe me, it's not an unusual event. If this was the case, it may explain his excessive drinking and bad behaviour. Give it some thought and consideration, see if the dots join up.

The suggestion seems clichéd.

I've read of this a number of times but you can't use it to describe all or the majority of relationships.

I've known their family for 4 years.

GF heavily into non religious (original) Buddhism and aware of kharma from such behavior.

I also met brothers ex wife.

He's fallen apart since his first big accident.

Broke his leg and had to sell his rice farm to pay expenses. The wife cracked it and left him.

Definitely not the case, but if it was, good luck to them.

I promise you that I'm not suggesting for one minute that this is the case here. I also know it's not the norm or anything approaching the norm, but it does happen and it's not unusual in the LOS.

Forget about devout religion, a lot of professional "bar girls" are extremely religious in the mornings and transform to "another self" in the evenings.

As for meeting his ex-wife ... You only know what you are told. It could have been his sister. If she was worried about the child, and it was hers ... surely she would have taken her, and still can.

I would never suggest that your experience even comes near to this, but it's good to be aware of a potential or possible situation.

Time to talk hard to the g/f "he goes or I go" about sums it up. Who's home is it anyway? If it's not your g/f home ..... move to somewhere that is your g/f or your home. You have to be, or nearly be, the boss in your own home, otherwise any passing <deleted>, or unwelcome family member, can drop by at will for an unwelcome and / or extended visit.

Get a grip on your life. You came here to be happy, and to be with a younger or more attractive girl. If your not happy, move on, this is Thailand. So, so many girls to chose from, all of hem wonderful, honest, trustworthy and reliable people (also a few good and straight ones with no hangers on). Some are also extremely fit.

Edit to Edit .... The deleted bit was referring to a heavily used piece of toilet tissue that is well past it's expected lifespan and so soiled that it may be deemed to be of no further use to anyone or anything within the scope of life on this planet.