"I have to ask a crucial question: “Do you like Asians?”"

[Jingthing]

Headline is a direct quote from the Advocate.com link.

Rice queens.

Many here?

I totally deny it.

But that question, I've heard it before.

In Thailand, not, because this IS in Asia.

When I got that question, I was kind of annoyed by it.

The issue comes up with a lot of things.

Like chubby people attract chubby chasers.

Often fetishists.

If we're white here ... do you ever ask:

"I have to ask a crucial question: “Do you like white people?”"

I didn't think so.

http://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/08/07/op-ed-perils-dating-while-asian

This writer and Advocate intern used to revel in the fact that men found him attractive because he's Filipino. Now the attention feels like pandering racism.

Edited August 7, 2015 by Jingthing

[Stray]

If you go black, you don't go back.

If you go Asian, you don't go Caucasian.

Had to have yellow fever shots before working in Nigeria. I guess that was to try and cure me of my lust for Asia. Didn't work.

Not sure about the racism factor but I just don't find whiskey tangos that desirable.

[onthemoon]

Is the guy in the article complaining that too many people in San Francisco find him attractive?

Rather than accusing the people who he takes the free drinks from as racists, he should thank [insert your favourite deity] for his good looks.

[JakeSully]

Oh please.. most everyone is capable of observing this in their real life!

Person 1. Ohh I love hispanic guys

Person 2. Ohh I only date white guys

Person 3. I love asian guys

Person 4 Nothing compares to a BBC

Person 5 I love Muslim guys, they can really romance

Person 6 I love Indian guys, they can f me anytime

Person 7 Ugh black guys are smelly

Person 8 Ugh white guys are uptight narcissitic jerks

So you can just keep on going down the list.. it'll be harder to find one who isn't completely biased one way or the other than someone who is.

Edited August 10, 2015 by JakeSully

[Jingthing]

I kind of agree that people generally have such preferences and if you're the target of such preferences, why kiss a gift horse in the mouth, especially if he's cute?

But the thing is, there are more extreme cases where the individual person isn't seen at all, only the preference category whatever it may be, and in those cases I think such things can be elevated to the level of a fetish.

Edited August 10, 2015 by Jingthing

[JakeSully]

Agreed on that. Sometimes it's just more nice to not talk, do your business and then move on.

Otherwise you kick yourself later like how did I even copulate with that person when they believe this bull..?

[steven100]

Thai guys are so sexy ... beautiful skin, just light tan .. not too dark .. and they smell nice ..

Edited August 11, 2015 by steven100

[JakeSully]

I've noticed one thing through my travels.. the Philippino guys are bigger where it matters than Thai guys but it often goes to their head.. Thai's generally are more subtle or maybe it's just lost in translation.

[Jingthing]

To revive this discussion, this writer things these kinds of preferences (likes and dislikes) in dating is a form of racism:

Here’s the thing: when asked during in-person meetings, 90% of my clients report having racial preferences. Which maybe doesn’t sound so bad, because I mean, they have other preferences, too. Height, religion, career paths, Netflix show most recently watched, the list goes on and on. But of the 90% of the reported racial preferences, 89.9% are preferences for white people. So . . . that is bad. And I’m not just talking about white-on-white preferences. I’m talking about all my clients, only 55% of whom identify as white. (This seems as good a time as any to mention that when I say “all my clients,” I do mean clients of all sexual orientations. Let’s not get heteronormative now; we’re only in the third paragraph.)

http://www.theestablishment.co/2015/10/30/online-dating-racism-matchmaking/

[Scott]

My personal experience is that the longer I am exposed to a particular group of people the greater my attraction to them becomes. When I was in the Middle East, I found myself attracted to Middle Easterners after a time. When I lived in Turkey, I found my attraction for them grew strong after a time. The same happened in various areas of Europe where I lived.

Of course, living in Asia, I have always had a liking for Asians.

Within those groups there are certain physical traits that I find more attractive than others. I can't easily explain them, but regardless of the race, there are similarities.

Perhaps human desire is stronger than racism.

[Jingthing]

In this article I posted there was one part that spoke to me. Like most people I think, I do have general racial/ethnic preferences, likes and dislikes that I don't like to think of as racist, but more about whatever floats your boat, can't help it. But thinking about that, the author proposes a good test. If you say you don't like fill in the blank race/ethnicity ___________ sexually, seriously, every single person who is labelled that way? Not bloody likely. There is such diversity in people within such labels. Of course.

[tominbkk]

Well, the heart wants what the heart wants. It's not a politically correct organ.

[Jingthing]

Well, the heart wants what the heart wants. It's not a politically correct organ.

The heart?

Anyway, I'm not sure we know all there is to know about such things to make such grand conclusions.

[White Christmas13]

You disappoint me JT I thought you fancies baht busses

[Jingthing]

You disappoint me JT I thought you fancies baht busses

But you have to admit -- they all look alike!

Uh oh. Is that racist?

[White Christmas13]

You disappoint me JT I thought you fancies baht busses

But you have to admit -- they all look alike!

Uh oh. Is that racist?

Nooooooooooooo if you talk about the baht bus

[MAJIC]

My personal experience is that the longer I am exposed to a particular group of people the greater my attraction to them becomes. When I was in the Middle East, I found myself attracted to Middle Easterners after a time. When I lived in Turkey, I found my attraction for them grew strong after a time. The same happened in various areas of Europe where I lived.

Of course, living in Asia, I have always had a liking for Asians.

Within those groups there are certain physical traits that I find more attractive than others. I can't easily explain them, but regardless of the race, there are similarities.

Perhaps human desire is stronger than racism.

Good point!

[Jingthing]

I find it's a mixed feeling to realize you're being fetishized for something rather than appreciated for who you are as an individual.

But I do dream of waking up in a world where Matzah Queens are as common as Rice Queens!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=matzah+queen

Of course, if we're lucky enough to live to be very old, then it would really be great is if there were a lot more GERONTOPHILES!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1815717/

Edited November 2, 2015 by Jingthing

[dennis123]

I only like cute asians cause I can't get them caucasians

Actually in Belgium I can, not sure what's wrong that country.

Edited November 26, 2015 by dennis123

[Wilsonandson]

I only like cute asians cause I can't get them caucasians

Actually in Belgium I can, not sure what's wrong that country.

Russian men.

Mmmmmmm.

Yes!

had one in koh chang last year. One night stand. A night I will never forget. Steel piston.

[onni4me]

Jeez...is everything now racism?

I've been with every color imaginable so what does that make me? Racist against animals?

To be more serious, I don't have a such strong preference. A nice guy is a nice guy. What puts me off is too fat, too old, bad manners, smelly, very hairy...so that makes me a racist against particularly fat, old, badly behaving, smelly and hairy guys..?

I find this talk about racism boring. If you want to experience some of it, just ask Asians what they think of other Asians/foreigners or races.

When someone dreams of a black big ...er...something...that doesn't make him a racist. He has a preference or just daydreaming...LOL

[Jingthing]

I was discussing a related question the other day. Not sure if it's possible to talk about this here and keep it G rated, but I'll give it a try anyway.

Does it mean anything, racism-wise, if you "discriminate" your erotic interest based on the color of the guy on top? Related to darker/lighter.

(Related to seeing images, or your own fantasies or actions.)

For a neutral non-human color example (Donald Trump excepted), suppose it turns you on if the PURPLE dude is on top, and the ORANGE dude is not (in a purple dude/orange dude coupling) but the OPPOSITE does nothing for you.

I think that's fairly common -- where does that come from, and do you think it's an expression of racism?

I have a feeling it does ... but I don't think it's anything you can do anything about ... your responses to stuff like that are whatever they are. Who does it hurt?

Edited January 17, 2016 by Jingthing

[Scott]

I think that when it comes to whom we are physically attracted, then discrimination is not exactly an operational issue. How we treat other people and behavior towards them is where discrimination is a problem. We all have different criteria for what turns our crank. So when it comes to sexual encounters and relationships, then size matters, color matters, weight matters, height matters. It's not necessarily one of these things, but the composite that makes the difference.

[Jingthing]

Race based filtering?

People are talking.

That is, when they're not doing other ... stuff.

Scruff is hardly the first site to allow searching by race and new niche dating services pop up every day, catering to individual preferences — from to farmersonly.com toglutenfreesingles.com and it's kind of cute or even sort of funny until something like the site wherewhitepeoplemeet.com is introduced. "I'm not even looking," said Diego when I told him about the site, "The thing is white people don't get it."

http://www.advocate.com/business/2016/2/11/scuff-gay-dating-app-creators-defend-race-based-filtering

[robertthebruce]

If you go black, you don't go back.

If you go Asian, you don't go Caucasian.

Had to have yellow fever shots before working in Nigeria. I guess that was to try and cure me of my lust for Asia. Didn't work.

Not sure about the racism factor but I just don't find whiskey tangos that desirable.

" I went Black, and I came back"

More than happy with Asian Men...., cute, clean and nice manners....

[FruitPudding]

Good question.

I am certainly attracted to Asian (women), but I don't really like them.

I like westerners, but I am not attracted to them.

[FruitPudding]

If you go black, you don't go back.

If you go Asian, you don't go Caucasian.

Had to have yellow fever shots before working in Nigeria. I guess that was to try and cure me of my lust for Asia. Didn't work.

Not sure about the racism factor but I just don't find whiskey tangos that desirable.

I agree.

Since coming to Asia, I don't feel attracted to Caucasian women. It just vanished. It wasn't a conscious decision, since attraction is completely subconscious.

I can't yet testify about the black thing, though I expect it would be accurate to say I wouldn't go back.

[orchis]

yes

[Jingthing]

Kind of related.

Sexual racism?

[BritManToo]

Young, available and cheap is all I care about.

I'm an equal opportunities employer.

If the price is right, come on down!

Edited April 14, 2016 by BritManToo