My thai girlfriend - is she cheating on me?

[FrankyHanky]

Hey guys...yes i know, another topic about cheating girlfriends...but everybody has its own story...

I need some advice…First of all, it’s my very first girlfriend from Thailand. I’m starting from the very beginning to give you guys a little insight.

I’m 34 and from France, she is 33 and lives in Bangkok.

I’ve seen her profile on a popular EUROPEAN Datingapp. I’ve looked at her profile (many pictures, but not suggestive, pretty normal profile at all) and minutes later she sent me a short message. We start talking and over time it became more serious. We switched to Facebook-Messenger, WhatsApp and Skype, which went on like that for about 4 months.

• She is from Isaan, not married, no kids. She came to Bangkok for studying and work.
• She has a normal office job in a big company with some field service.
• She lives in a 2-room-apartment with one of her sisters and her family.
• She speaks pretty good english (she knows some uncommon words which i don’t know)
• She has a nickname, but using her normal name after we met

After 4 months i decided to meet her in Bangkok. So, I arrived on a Saturday morning and she was already waiting for me at the airport (and she looked really gorgeous!) to took me to my Hotel.

• She has her own car (normal car, nothing special)
• She moved directly into my room, what i really did not expect.
• She already had her clothing and her bag with her.

In retrospect, it seemed like she would not do that for the first time. Maybe i was not the first Farang she picked up from airport?! I think it’s really unusual what she did, isn’t it? We spent the day together. Back in Hotel we took a shower (separately, not together) and went to bed for sleep. Then she started kissing me, pretty intense! And we had sex…on the first night, after the first day we met! And if i had not stopped to take a condom she would have made it without it. I’m pretty sure.

• She normally wears a belly button, but removed it (i have seen the small hole), no tattoos!
• She is shaved, has brown skin and wears make-up.
• She has some scars, and a bruise on her leg.

She took the week off from work and we had an amazing week together. And it was not like i paid for everything. We kept the balance. When she showed me the city i sometimes had the feeling that she already has been to some places with other men before. Hard to explain this feeling. Once we were sitting in a restaurant i had the feeling that she recognized one of the Farangs next table. I asked her if she knows him, she said she is not sure. Very weird.

• She has some Farang friends on Facebook (friends list is hide, but i know)
• She likes to go to Partys in Bangkok and Pattaya several times a year. Last time i know some months ago. Find some Photos with some female friends in fancy dresses.
• She likes to go to Levels Club, Insanity Club and so on.
• But she said she has not been to clubs for long time. Well, i doubt it!

I really don’t know what she is doing in these clubs and in Pattaya. Is she is just there to have fun with her girls, or is she hunting for some Farang?! She has some pictures showing her with her female friends drinking beer or waiting (waiting for whatever) in a Hotel Lobby in Pattaya in nice dresses. But these pictures are the only ones from hundreds of pictures where nobody is tagged or left a comment. So, i can’t track her friends on facebook to see more pictures or find more information. I’ve seen some pictures from last year, where she is lolling on a bed (but in clothing!) in a fancy Hotel in Pattaya. Who took her there? Who took these pictures? I don’t know. Could be some female friends, could be a Lover. She said she has not met other men after she broke up with her Thai boyfriend 5 years ago. But i’ve already figured out that she was on vacation with some guy in 2012 and 2013. And that she had dinner with some guy last year. I have seen pictures on her Facebook profile. She didn’t hide them, but only she is shown on these photos, nobody else. Again, who took her there? Who took these photos? I asked her and she confessed tearfully that she was there with her ex-boyfriend. They wanted to try relationship again, but it did not work out. She promised it’s over. Well, that’s far away from “haven’t seen someone for 5 years”. She has a Farang friend on facebook and keep liking his photos. Friendship/liking his photos began approx. after/before this guy was in Bangkok/Pattaya for vacation. (she said she never met him, but has friendship on facebook? Far too many coincidences for me). You can imagine, i have some serious doubts about her honesty now. I want show you some key points now, cause text is getting too long:

• In begin she said she lives together with one of her sisters (and husband and kid of sister) in a two-room-apartment. Now it looks like her other two sisters are living there as well. But she has her own room. Really strange to me.
• She has her own car
• She slept with me first night, then after that 3 times a day (but says she is shy)
• She went into my Hotelroom with me, without asking and with all her packed stuff
• She has/had a belly button
• She is going out for party/drinking in Bangkok (Nightclubs, Khaosan Road, Bars) and Pattaya
• She acts like she is doing it not for her first time (take shower together, going toilet when i am in bathroom, showing/walking around naked in Hotelroom, and how she was showing me the city)
• She lied about her ex (if it was her ex)
• She can afford to travel around
• She has fancy clothing and expensive handbag
• She was still online on Datingapp where we first met. She was also active on other Datingsites. She only stopped logging in as i asked her about that.
• OK – this happened 2 times within 4 days: We are chatting on Facebook-messenger, she said she is just home watching TV. So, I called her same time we are chatting. First time it took her a minute to answer the mobile phone. I’ve heard some background noise and she said “i call you back” and hung up. A female friend came to meet her…yeah maybe yes, but more likely not! Second time we are chatting on Facebook-messenger, i call her again and she doesn’t answer at all. A minute later she’s calling me back and speaks very softly. She said when she’s chatting on Facebook she can not see when i’m calling on her mobile phone (but she is sending her messages from the Messenger-App, how is that possible? She must have seen that i am calling). When i ask, she tries to change topic and gets mad.
• She got 3 or 4 phone calls when she was with me (but always female voice!). And she said it was her sister.
• On weekends she doesn't ask if we can talk on Skype, what she always does from Sunday evening to Thursday evening.
• In the beginning she always sent me photos of her (what she does etc.), that has already stopped.
• Her mobile phone was always lying on the screen, so that nobody can see it.
• She was out with friends to eat something, normally she is tagged in some pictures together with her friends. Normally they make some pictures of the food. But nothing!
• In public we didn’t hold hands and we didn’t kiss
• I believe her regarding her job (she has working clothes, i’ve seen photos of her colleagues, she is offline at facebook the entire night…so probaby she is sleeping)
• Everything what she said was true so far, except the story about her ex.
• Maybe she doesn’t want to tell me everything cause she feels embarrassed about some things
• In bed she doesn’t really act as a professional. She wasn’t a virgin, and she does have some experience, but not like a hooker
• It seems like she really want to take care of me, it seems like she really is missing me after i am back in France
• She is sending me messages continuously the entire day, calling me on my phone, calling on Skype every evening, pretty hard to have another guy sending messages to
• We know eachother for about 6 months now and she never asks for money
• She wants to take me to her parents when i’m coming back to Bangkok
• We had some pretty serious arguments already and almost broke up, but she keeps trying to have a good relationship
• I already let her know that i’m not rich and just a normal guy, and she is ok with that
• Her friends seem all be pretty normal..Just normal local Thais with normal Jobs. Some are married already (some with Thai men, some with Farang)
• In beginning she was really worried if i have other women waiting for me in Thailand

I still think she is a decent woman, but i have some major problems to trust her. We had arguments about that, cause i’m really jealous. When i am reading this text now it seems like she is cheating, but i still have that feeling that she is really serious about having relationship with me. I can not explain why. Maybe these are really just coincidences. Guys, what you think about this story?

I’m thinking about flying back without telling her. Just to surprise her and call her on her phone when i’ve arrived in Bangkok. But not sure if it’s a good idea. I suppose you’ll tell me that she is meeting other Farang, and that she is planning their visits for an entire year…so why not meeting her as a surprise to f*** up her plans.

And yes, maybe i can just ask her about all these things, but if everyting just arises from my fantasy it will be really unfair afterwards. Besides of that, she is getting mad when i try. She is unsure as well, and she is asking the same questions i do. She pretends that she is saying the truth. That she only meets her ex several times and nobody else. That she didn’t meet someone for an ONS after she broke up with her ex (but slept with me first night). She alsways says she miss me - and call me a fool – i believe her. Do you guys have any advice or something?

Thanks in advance!!!

Edited September 11, 2015 by FrankyHanky

[pbay]

You are probably one in a very long line...warning signs would be, she shagged you on the first day.

Edited September 11, 2015 by pbay

[Stradavarius37]

Look Tolkien....I fell asleep after the first 1000 words. Anyone who would sleep with you on a first date is not marriage material.

[Soutpeel]

Farang tink too mutt, let's face facts a decent Thai girl would not be shagging you a few hours after meeting you

Edited September 11, 2015 by Soutpeel

[CharlieH]

This statement says it all " but i have some major problems to trust her"

You already know the answer and are just looking for reassurance on what you already believe.

Without trust you have nothing, move on until it "feels" right. and only you will know when that is.

[55Jay]

The answer is obvious. Not sure why she's wasting her time on you.

Edited September 11, 2015 by 55Jay

[smokie36]

Its Friday....please keep it under the bridge.

[fish fingers]

Re having sex straight away .. yes it happened with my first thai GF (who I met online) - we were together two years but boy was it the toughest relationship I ever had.

great looking, paranoia and mistrust, great sex, she paid her way .. she had a nice job, picked me up from airport, living in BK .. sounds very similar.

I couldn't read all of your post

Are you a jealous type? Because if you are, it will end in tears. She may be a nice girl, but may have other guys she stays in touch with, 90% sure of that.. this relationship is strictly on her terms, never forget that. You will never be able to control what she does

Tip - Do not get jealous, or look at her phone, wonder what she's up to etc.

Just have fun with this one, stay in control of your destiny, don't fall in love.

Edited September 11, 2015 by fish fingers

[bwpage3]

The fact she is 33 and not married says it all.

If she was marriage material she would already be married at that age.

The fact she is on Sunday to Thursday, maybe her significant other is away at work all week and only home on the weekends? (The time she cannot talk to you)

Think with your head man. She has done absolutely everything wrong.

If you cannot find a woman in Thailand that does everything absolutely right, you need to get some help yourself

Who taught her how to "hunt" for farang's online?

Play with fire and you will get burnt.

Do yourself a favor and find a good girl for your future.

This one is not it

[bendejo]

How do you reckon she paid for all these things?

My guess is she has a regular situation going on (Friday and Saturday) and the rest of the week she's on line trolling for more business.

Her picking up the tab occasionally is a pretty regular part of the set-up, from similar stories I've heard. She's working for the big haul.

[prb]

You can have a so called shy Thai "Girlfriend" who keeps telling you "I miss u", "I wait for you" and at the same time you see on her facebook a new farang friend added every week and photos of her in fancy restaurants and hotels swimming pool that she could not afford even if she had a not too bad job.

Yes, i'm learning the hard way too...

[Fabricus]

The OP's username is FrankyHanky. I quite like this. It's kind of interesting.

It's certainly better than HankyPanky or SpankySpanky.

To be honest, though, I would have chosen WankyWanky.

[NeverSure]

[yoboots]

LOL, welcome to Thailand !

If you had to ask, you already know.

[FrankyHanky]

Anyone who would sleep with you on a first date is not marriage material

yes that's pretty obvious and my biggest question mark in this story.

I asked her why she did. Her response: I don't know, Had good feeling

Then she tries to change topic by saying she is too shy

Not sure why she's wasting her time on you

I'm not sure either. Why should she move on when she could have other guys the next day?

I don't think she's just playing for fun, because we already had some serious arguments and

everybody who has no serious intentions would have stopped already. I don't send her money

or other bull***t

Are you a jealous type? don't fall in love

Yes i am, and I'm afraid i already did

maybe her significant other is away at work all week and only home on the weekends?

that's a really good one, why i didn't think about that before

How do you reckon she paid for all these things?

I have absolutly no idea, that's why i started this topic.

To be honest, though, I would have chosen WankyWanky

there's no need to get personal or to making fun of other persons lives

I just want to know what the heck is going on. I'm not the type of person who can stop from one day to the other. I can leave in peace when i'm 100% sure

what her intentions are. She posted a photo on her Facebook page showing me with the words "my boyfriend" Why should she do that? Everybody

of her friends were able to see this. She took a week off from work while i was in Bangkok. She spend the entire week with me and slept in my Hotelroom.

How could she explain that to her husband?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not searching for signals that she's a good girl...i just want questioning everything

Edited September 11, 2015 by FrankyHanky

[bartender100]

You have got it bad OP, I would get the strength to walk away now, you will never be happy with all these things going though your head.

Does not look like your a troll with the time it must have taken you to post all that, but nobody but yourself can answer your questions

[prb]

OP, you've seen my post, i'm in a similar situation. There is not much to do.

If she is cheating, and just keeping you as an option, she will never admit it like my girl is doing.

Either you stop all contacts now or you continue to see where all this goes.

It's going to be the second solution for me. Before all thoses doubts, when i came back from holidays, i negociated one year leave from my work.

Would do things differently now but the machine is started.

I'm back in thailand in a month. If the distant relationship has not stopped since then, i'll see for myself what i can really expect.

When are you going back to Thailand and for how long?

[NeverSure]

"Are you a jealous type? don't fall in love

Yes i am, and I'm afraid i already did."

No you didn't. You're just needy. You probably never had a gal that pretty before either.

You don't fall in love with someone you hardly know. You fall into emotional need or lust. You're interested in this gal for all of the wrong reasons. The first lack is going to be that she can't take care of your emotions and only your emotions. She's going to be putting herself first and you are going to be in pain which is what you are now.

Stop asking questions about her and ask yourself the only relevant question here:

What is wrong with YOU that would tolerate this shit?

Cheers.

[FrankyHanky]

Yeah unfortunately there's not much what i can do now. She's living on the other side of the planet.

I have two options: I can move on or i can stop. It's really up to me. Maybe i'm in love, but i always have the choice to stop.

I think i move on, it's pretty obvious that she is cheating (or whatever she's doing), but i don't know 100%. I want to be sure.

Our plan was to meet again beginning next year, cause then i have time to stay for 2 months. Not sure if i know what's going on after these

2 months, but for sure i will know more than now. Nobody can hide something like husbands, lovers or a second life for 2 months, i'm sure

it's not possible. But my question was also, if i should take a plane without her knowing next month.

@NeverSure, thank you very much for that comment. Yeah i'm just needy i guess, i will not call it love again, because i met her in person for just one week.

I don't know this person. We just talk online, and i really don't know what's going on in her head. And yes you're right, i never met such a beautiful woman before,

Edited September 11, 2015 by FrankyHanky

[steve187]

Is that op a draft for a new book

[prb]

Yeah unfortunately there's not much what i can do now. She's living on the other side of the planet.

I have two options: I can move on or i can stop. It's really up to me. Maybe i'm in love, but i always have the choice to stop.

I think i move on, it's pretty obvious that she is cheating (or whatever she's doing), but i don't know 100%. I want to be sure.

Our plan was to meet again beginning next year, cause then i have time to stay for 2 months. Not sure if i know what's going on after these

2 months, but for sure i will know more than now. Nobody can hide something like husbands, lovers or a second life for 2 months, i'm sure

it's not possible. But my question was also, if i should take a plane without her knowing next month.

How long can you stay next month?

Doing all this long trip, coming unnanounced, just to check what your girl is doing sounds like a quite foolish idea.

Now, if you can afford it financialy and professionaly and it makes you fell better well....

[FrankyHanky]

Yeah unfortunately there's not much what i can do now. She's living on the other side of the planet.

I have two options: I can move on or i can stop. It's really up to me. Maybe i'm in love, but i always have the choice to stop.

I think i move on, it's pretty obvious that she is cheating (or whatever she's doing), but i don't know 100%. I want to be sure.

Our plan was to meet again beginning next year, cause then i have time to stay for 2 months. Not sure if i know what's going on after these

2 months, but for sure i will know more than now. Nobody can hide something like husbands, lovers or a second life for 2 months, i'm sure

it's not possible. But my question was also, if i should take a plane without her knowing next month.

How long can you stay next month?

Doing all this long trip, coming unnanounced, just to check what your girl is doing sounds like a quite foolish idea.

Now, if you can afford it financialy and professionaly and it makes you fell better well....

I can stay for approx. 10 days. Yeah coming unanounced seems to be a bit creepy and needy, that's why i'm asking.

Financially it's not a big deal for me

[NeverSure]

Yeah unfortunately there's not much what i can do now. She's living on the other side of the planet.

I have two options: I can move on or i can stop. It's really up to me. Maybe i'm in love, but i always have the choice to stop.

I think i move on, it's pretty obvious that she is cheating (or whatever she's doing), but i don't know 100%. I want to be sure.

Our plan was to meet again beginning next year, cause then i have time to stay for 2 months. Not sure if i know what's going on after these

2 months, but for sure i will know more than now. Nobody can hide something like husbands, lovers or a second life for 2 months, i'm sure

it's not possible. But my question was also, if i should take a plane without her knowing next month.

@NeverSure, thank you very much for that comment. Yeah i'm just needy i guess, i will not call it love again, because i met her in person for just one week.

I don't know this person. We just talk online, and i really don't know what's going on in her head. And yes you're right, i never met such a beautiful woman before,

Welcome. You are thrashing around, an emotional mess. This is your emotions talking, not love.

Coming unannounced is something only a needy person would do. It's not healthy for you and the desire shows that you aren't emotionally healthy. That would be sneaking like jealous people do.

You are experiencing many unhealthy emotions that are far from love. They are desperate and needy.

The only question again is: What's wrong with YOU that you would put yourself through this? I'd run away from this gal so fast all you'd see is a streak.

Cheers.

[bamukloy]

Pal if you want people to read this, i suggest edit heavily. Like axe it by about 90 %

Doesnt matter, i only had to read the title and i can answer all your queeries in just a few short lines and equations:

- If she thai and speaks great English, chances are shes been on the game with hundreds of foreigners and chasing the biggest $

- If shes thai and on dating websites, double what i just said

-If she's Thai and your not with her 98% of the time;

If your not like,living together and spending every single night together..triple everything i said and X10 all your own worsest suspicions.

pretty simple eh? :0)

[NOC]

She sounds like a good fun, can I have her number?

Really. Create this scenario...

Run some counter-intelligence on her, like using a picture finding app to find other pictures of her on the internet that support your suspicions.

1) Get an answer to your questions first, then ask her the questions.

2) Stay calm when she lies.

3) Decide what you're going to do about it.

4) Act.

Before you leave the relationship, at least give your virgin a nice three way, and film it. It ain't no fun if the hommies can't have none!

If you think that Thai's can't shut up when you give them a mic to talk into, just watch how fast the legs open when you have a camera in your hand.

Edited September 11, 2015 by CharlieH

[Crazy chef 1]

Farang tink too mutt, let's face facts a decent Thai girl would not be shagging you a few hours after meeting you

She abides to the first rule... It's wrong to be French...

[VIPinthailand]

welcome in the Thai matrix... where every woman is a business women.

why not go back to Paris and marry a french girl? , she will cook and take care of you.

life in Thailand is different, you adjust or you leave because you will become miserable here.

your jealousy will eat your brain, so don't fall in love for this girl. you can find plenty of other girls who don't go party in Bangkok.

I don't mind to stay with a lady like yours... I would keep her for my little fun and I would not ask question about what she is doing. not my business.

Edited September 11, 2015 by VIPinthailand

[rocketboybkk]

Hang on

She's from isaan, never been married & no kids

She went to BKK to study & work.

That's all I read

Next......

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[norfolkandchance]

Yes

[SiSePuede419]

Jesus wept.