My thai girlfriend - is she cheating on me?

[Thaimike370]

Two things I have learned since living in Thailand. First. If you think you saw something move, you did, you may not see it, but it is watching you. Second, if you think she is cheating on you, she is.

[yaudah]

Jeeze FrankyHanky, do you have a problem and you can not figure it out yourself ? What a yokel.....................

[Sutty]

Firstly stop worrying and take what she is giving but give her nothing in return if she is true no problem if not she will be off like a shot.

Seconday you lot out there statements like not marriage material if you shag on first night for gods sake come on in to thee 21st century.

[ttthailand]

Trust your instincts !

One lie for sure is that you are her first farang. She is hitting all the farang clubs and going to Pattaya for what ??? She jumps you first date and not shy.... I dated many girls online prior to meeting my current girlfriend and most were first night banging. I might have even met your lady friend ... She is a player and play she does....

Look ... Seriously! You are a jealous guy to start with so this is just going to eat you alive. It will be nagging at you day and night if she is with someone. It will affect your sleep, eating, work and everything else. Even by chance she is being a good girl you will never believe it anyway. Before you get more attached break this off and start the look again.

Without trust you have nothing !

The only way this could ever work is if you could forget the jealousy and not worry about her past, one or a hundred boyfriends.

My advise is ... You have got your feet wet with your first Thai girl now you have a better idea on what you want and what to stay away from. Have some fun, chat and date a few more or a hundred more and don't get serious so quickly. The right woman is out there so have fun looking....Good luck !

[thaibeachlovers]

Firstly stop worrying and take what she is giving but give her nothing in return if she is true no problem if not she will be off like a shot.

Seconday you lot out there statements like not marriage material if you shag on first night for gods sake come on in to thee 21st century.

This is Thailand he's asking about, not some western country where they all lost their virginity at school and go to the pub to get free booze in return for a shag behind the dumpster.

I believe that "good" Thai girls don't on the first date. If they do, I'd expect money to be coming into the equation sometime.

Do they really expect to be getting the big dowry if they've been giving it away?

[Travel Dude]

You are already hurt. Your jealousy is killing you.

Does she likes you? Yes she does.

Does she shag other man from time to time? Probably she does. She also does not want to stay lonely and knows you are not sure about this relationship neither.

Does she go to the wrong clubs? Yes she does

Is she the only one wrong? Probably not. your jealousy is opressing.

Does she lie? In the Thai culture that's very normal. It's a different culture.

Will she tall you the whole truth, past or present? She will neverm She can't, it's part of the culture.

Why don't you hire Thaiprivateeye to find out for you if it is a must for you to know all details?

Will this relationship last? I think it will never. Not only because of her but because of your dreams of 100% clarity. European jealousy will not match.

Should you end the relationship? If you do so do it in a nice way. She has perhaps not told you the whole truth but she has been good to you on many ways, and still calls you everyday. Be nice to her, please.

Ps: if you want me to find out something for you please PM me.

[Just1Voice]

My thai girlfriend - is she cheating on me?

Yes.

[Deli]

Drop her now, change number and run. Otherwise you will suffer, as many others here did, me incl.

[bobthomas]

"Nobody can hide something like husbands, lovers or a second life for 2 months, i'm sure" ???????

You are new to Thailand?

If you spent just 10% of the time you spent composing your very long and detailed story, you would have found a proper Thai woman by now.

Run forest Run!

b

[1FinickyOne]

She took a week off from work while i was in Bangkok. She spend the entire week with me and slept in my Hotelroom.

The only way she could do that is if she does not have a real job - maybe you are her job? This to me is as telling as anything… along with your other questionable areas…

[Soutpeel]

Trust your instincts !

One lie for sure is that you are her first farang. She is hitting all the farang clubs and going to Pattaya for what ??? She jumps you first date and not shy.... I dated many girls online prior to meeting my current girlfriend and most were first night banging. I might have even met your lady friend ... She is a player and play she does....

Look ... Seriously! You are a jealous guy to start with so this is just going to eat you alive. It will be nagging at you day and night if she is with someone. It will affect your sleep, eating, work and everything else. Even by chance she is being a good girl you will never believe it anyway. Before you get more attached break this off and start the look again.

Without trust you have nothing !

The only way this could ever work is if you could forget the jealousy and not worry about her past, one or a hundred boyfriends.

My advise is ... You have got your feet wet with your first Thai girl now you have a better idea on what you want and what to stay away from. Have some fun, chat and date a few more or a hundred more and don't get serious so quickly. The right woman is out there so have fun looking....Good luck !

Trust your instincts....

The OP is a troll and you boys have fell for it.....

"Strong the force is in this one Obi-wan"

[RBOP]

Your storey sounds wonderful almost like a dream. So what you had sex on your first physical meeting. I had sex with my wife on our first meeting too and been married to her 15 years now. I have never trusted her but it doesn't bother me.

Just remember this, if you breakup with her she will want settlement (cash) and nothing worse than Thai women scorn.

[micmichd]

Hey, you met someone like my girlfriend?

Congratulations.

You should trust her. Maybe she's not been an angel, but she seems to be honest.

Of course she has a sexual history. Were you never with another woman before? Accept that she's got the same rights that you claim for yourself.

[Shermanator]

This is a baiting post of a very versatile joker, right? A lot of effort put into it, though...

[misterphil]

Sounds like the Ex wife.

Shes probably spending the money on you what she stole from me.

Tell her to sling her hook and buy another one.

[fang37]

Just provide her an allowance of say B50k/mth for 3 months. Then reassess.

[MaeJoMTB]

She doesn't have a job (hard for Thais to get time off).

She shagged you the first date.

She speaks English

=

Sex Worker!

Enjoy.

[Altalake]

What an unutterably dull tale. From an equally dull bloke.

Get a Life mate.

[AlexRRR]

Yeah unfortunately there's not much what i can do now. She's living on the other side of the planet.

I have two options: I can move on or i can stop. It's really up to me. Maybe i'm in love, but i always have the choice to stop.

I think i move on, it's pretty obvious that she is cheating (or whatever she's doing), but i don't know 100%. I want to be sure.

Our plan was to meet again beginning next year, cause then i have time to stay for 2 months. Not sure if i know what's going on after these

2 months, but for sure i will know more than now. Nobody can hide something like husbands, lovers or a second life for 2 months, i'm sure

it's not possible. But my question was also, if i should take a plane without her knowing next month.

@NeverSure, thank you very much for that comment. Yeah i'm just needy i guess, i will not call it love again, because i met her in person for just one week.

I don't know this person. We just talk online, and i really don't know what's going on in her head. And yes you're right, i never met such a beautiful woman before,

Most of what you describe is fairly standard behaviour from a Thai woman, I can relate to a lot it myself, the problem isn't with her but you you sound insecure you don't have anything so what's all the drama about?

In time if you stick around you will work it out but really if your already fretting about what might be better you stick with local women then look in a far off land.

As for the lies or not telling all who in there right mind is going to open up and tell it like it was...women all over the world like to protect there reputation, I think you lack a little maturity in the love game, I'm not saying she is or isn't but first you need to get your mind in the right frame jumping to all sorts of conclusions won't get you far, in the end if you don't trust let her go.

[jaylaai]

Whats her name? The x boyfriend, was he german?

[Liquorice]

OP if you suspect she is cheating and still communicating with different men on dating sites, why don't you create a false account on one of these sites, then contact her to see if she takes the bait.

Create a profile using a photo of a decent looking guy, no financial worries, willing to relocate etc, something that will attract her.

If she takes the bait, then you have your answers.

Of course you'll get inundated with replies you'll just have to ignore.

Thailand is renowned for dating scams and cheating to extort money even in the long haul.

There is no extent to how far some of these women will go.

I know a local foreigner, legally married to a Thai lady for several years. Built a house for her etc.

What he doesn't know but everyone else does is that she had him build the house 50 metres from her matrimonial home where her disabled Thai husband lives, who she visits 3 times a day to cook and clean.

Yeah, she's committed bigamy, lied, cheated, but the monthly pension income keep rolling in to solve the financial issues, so no problems.

On the other hand their are many decent, respectable women around as many will testify.

If you have doubt and trust issues now, the situation will never improve.

[Expat1]

Some time back Durex, the condom manufacturer, published a study they had done on infidelity of women around the world. Thai women came in second world wide as the least faithful after some African country. You can fill in the blanks yourself.

[Happy Days xx]

Hello all... many good comments here, and it seems the problem and answer both lies within you.

If, honestly, (and only you know) you have a 'difficult' history with past relationships, they don't expect any to work for you.

There is no PERFECT relationship... just a perfect state of compromise.

One thing I must add, is that i don't think you can dismiss someone totally if they sleep with you on the first night.

There are some charismatic males out there ("I know.. I is one"... as they say !!!).

Just as one thinks no decent woman would do this, also many ladies (from around the world) with a chequered past know that if they play 'hard to get' it comes over better even though they may ultimately be found to be the biggest players!

Our French friend may be packing one hell of an Eiffel Tower... which she found impossible to resist!

Good Luck

[55Jay]

My question on Page 1 was why is she wasting her time on a guy like this.

4 pages of this fool blubbering on, the answer is clear.

[fang37]

I heard a rumour - a quality rumour!

Thai girls do not have sex for enjoyment at all.

It is another form of weight control.

[Happy Days xx]

Sounds like the Ex wife.

Shes probably spending the money on you what she stole from me.

Tell her to sling her hook and buy another one.

... or you could just go to the doctor and get him to prescribe you Viagra and Prosac

... so if you don't get a <deleted>, you won't give a <deleted>!

[NOC]

Since we're taking the piss...

https://youtu.be/9aofoBrFNdg

Edited September 12, 2015 by NOC

[recycler]

She has friends, likes to party and you're not the first one, even in Thailand 33 year old virgins are uncommon.

It doesn't mean that she would be a bad wife or would you prefer a boring one?

[elviajero]

Your jealous needy nature means this long distance relationship is doomed to failure. I doubt theres anything she could do or say to gain your trust except move to France.

Thai women are more pragmatic about sex and relationships than western women and just because she shagged you the day you met up doesn't make her good or bad. If anything she was probably expecting you to expect sex.

If she's visiting nightclubs and is half decent to look at she will be getting hit on multiple times every time she goes. She could be an office worker/hooker or an office worker/opportunist. Either way she's probably seen the inside of several Bangkok hotels. Subsidising low incomes like this is not unusual.

The only way you're going to know for sure about what she's doing and who's she seeing is to employ a PI.

[xerostar]

What I have learnt so far:

Never get emotionally involved because a relationship for most Thai women is a business relationship.

As long as the money supply is stable then you can expect to spend some time with her (in proportion to her expectations).

If she expects to spend 50K baht per month and you can only supply 25K baht then she will soon be looking for a second sponsor (if she hasn't got one or more on the go already).

Telling lies in Thailand is just an everyday part of the culture. Anything they say has to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Apparently having sex with different partners for many Thai women is as natural as taking a shower, no big deal.

They will defend their reputation with lies, obvious lies and absolute secrecy.

You can make them lose face by exposing the truth but it will just make matters worse.

You will never win an argument because they eventually go into the silent mode or start crying, then you are the cruel one !

Expect to hear tales of woe to loosen your wallet. If you're a sensitive guy with money then they will have shopping list ready for you.

The only way is to develop a thick skin and ignore their cheating or just be trusting and hope for the best.

If all else fails, have a beer or two and move on to the next one!