Meeting Thai Women

[soalbundy]

You are in Thailand, you are going to have a hard job meeting anybody that's honest.

[pgrahmm]

A friend of mine wrote a book "Thai Fever".....

ANYBODY really interested in any kind of serious relationship with a Thai woman within the Thai culture should read and school themselves on that book....If you don't/won't/can't do or accept what you read then a Thai woman is probably not right for you.....

I'm wary of anyone making definitive statements like this. "if you don't/won't/can't" do something, you must be a failure or unsuited. Silly really.

Thai fever is okay as a self help book, but it is hardly an all encompassing rule book for anything. Probably a bit dated now in many ways.

I've had a lot of interesting advice regarding dating Thai women over the years from a range of people.

That includes advice about how to meet the right Thai woman from: Guys that are single, guys who have been to Thailand for one month, advice from lesbians, gay men who have never dated a woman, men who have been married and divorced multiple times, men who have had just one TGF, men who only do P4P, misogynists, .. and the list goes on and on.

Really, I have to laugh most of the time. I can't take advice from those sources over seriously. Someone else's rules and guide to relationships & life are just that: For someone else.

So BM → now that you're done with the haughtily knocking and mocking part.....

How about walking the walk part → share your vast accumlated wisdom....

It must be more insightful than everything you mentioned in your post....

Pretty sure the OP would appreciate you sharing......

Nothing haughty or mocking about my post. If you want to read into it that way, so be it.

As for sharing...err, I did already share, PG. You replied to the post

So your advice to the OP would be - don't listen to any of the type of people you listened to over the years as you had to laugh at them and not take them seriously? Guess that would be some sort of a guideline....

Think he has a better shot with Thai Fever....

[Daniel Boon]

Based on the name and avatar it seems likely that the OP is from India.....If that is the case then he is starting with a the perceptual disadvantage/cultural/status aspects of Indians and in particular Indian men as husbands and partners......

Especially here - in a country they are not perceived/received well.....

IF that is the case it brings another set of hurdles coupled with cultural partner treatment/roles (I vrs T) that are going to be more difficult to overcome......

It might explain the short term success but longer duration failure of his relationships......

From Canada, white and born in Canada, I spent many years in India and hence the Avatar and the photo of my favorite beggar in Mumbai.

OK makes it easier for you then....

Get and read Thai Fever if you can...

Seems like you have been here for awhile....

Sometimes you can be so familiar with a place and culture you don't see it....And easy to get entrenched....Why Isaan of all places?

p.grahmm .. are you the 77 year old with the 26 year old wife (looks like it in the photo)

[Toscano]

You probably live in the wrong place ! If you are using the internet you will be interested in women near where you live ?

To find nice clean honest women , you need to go to the north or northeast of Thailand ; where you can find nice girls , women of all educational levels .

It may be true to say that ALL Thai women are principally interested in your money and money is often the source of argument .

As a reasonably happily married man , married to a beautiful and good woman , head teacher of a school ; I would still say its better not to get married , have fun with the girls pay as you go .

My guess is that you made the mistake of marrying , living in your apartment for several years and then moving to live at your wife's house , near her family .

To live in a rural community , you need to have tried it out for at least a couple of years before committing yourself to marriage .

If you are over 50yrs and can afford a retirement visa , I would advise to have just the Thai wedding , not Amphur , then you are free to come and go as you please .

[Toscano]

Is Kalasin that boring ?

YES !

[Suradit69]

I have a hard time meeting honest Thai women.

Probably using the wrong bait. Were you all that successful luring honest farang women before fleeing to Thailand?

Edited November 28, 2015 by Suradit69

[pgrahmm]

Based on the name and avatar it seems likely that the OP is from India.....If that is the case then he is starting with a the perceptual disadvantage/cultural/status aspects of Indians and in particular Indian men as husbands and partners......

Especially here - in a country they are not perceived/received well.....

IF that is the case it brings another set of hurdles coupled with cultural partner treatment/roles (I vrs T) that are going to be more difficult to overcome......

It might explain the short term success but longer duration failure of his relationships......

From Canada, white and born in Canada, I spent many years in India and hence the Avatar and the photo of my favorite beggar in Mumbai.

OK makes it easier for you then....

Get and read Thai Fever if you can...

Seems like you have been here for awhile....

Sometimes you can be so familiar with a place and culture you don't see it....And easy to get entrenched....Why Isaan of all places?

p.grahmm .. are you the 77 year old with the 26 year old wife (looks like it in the photo)

Nope - wife's in her 40's/me 60's ...Thanks for the thoughts though...

[BookMan]

So your advice to the OP would be - don't listen to any of the type of people you listened to over the years as you had to laugh at them and not take them seriously? Guess that would be some sort of a guideline....

Think he has a better shot with Thai Fever....

You are simply reinforcing the jist of my post.

You made an absolute statement about Thailand not being for anyone who doesn't want to agree and school themselves on the mind blowing truth that is Thai fever! I just called that for the nonsense that it is. It is just one self help book offering the POVs of a Western man and a Thai woman. If you disagree with it or don't follow the 'rules' of the book, so what?

The OP does not have to choose between my advice or your advice. He can accept either piece of advice or accept neither or both, or even take parts of advice from 20 different sources.

[callaway]

I'm marrying A woman that I met on the net,Wayn.She finishes her PHD around June.We will be living at her place around 6

Months out of the year and the rest in the US.Um you might want to bend A little.Maybe lighten up.I find that everyone lies.Maybe

Some are small white lies.No big deal.You can hunt far and wide your not going to find perfect.You probably have some things

That many women don't like either.I try to comprise.Roll with the punches.

Patience is the key. I met mine after 3 years and 3 disasters but I learned from each one. We met on the Thai Love Links site she is 26 now and I am 77 been together 4 years now get along great. After I pass somebody is going to get a wonderful woman. I truly hope they appreciate her. They are out there. After 3 disasters I laid what I was offering on the table. We negotiated and came to an amicable agreement. Your biggest disadvantage is coming here with lust in your eyes and a loose wallet. It takes time to work your way through that. There is a lot of coal out there but sift through it for the diamonds. There are all kinds. The funniest one I heard lately was a young lady with 2 kids looking for a guy no sex involved but wanted to be maintained. She spoke no English but had high expectations.

77 ans 26? Makes me want to bring up my food. Gary Glitters dad

[ggt]

It does appear quite difficult to meet an honest Thai woman...I can honestly say...after living with several...and observing farang marriages...I doubt that I have ever been in the presence of a Thai woman who is completely faithful to her farang husband...

I too would like to meet an honest Thai woman...but after trying different methods over several years...I am resigned to purchase favors from young women and send them home the next morning...

Less stress...less money...no heartbreaks or breakups...and more real that the many pseudo relationships I have observed...

If you are not willing to accept her male friends, brothers, cousins, and such...might as well stay single...

[MeHere]

I dated several Thai girls before I moved here, that I met on line they were mostly all lovely (a couple of SHORT stints with whack jobs, but they were quickly apparent), but in time I saw that they weren't going to be right for me for various reasons, not all they're issues, but sometimes mine. The ones that I considered serious 'contenders' were all quite lovely and we are still in touch to this day.

I moved here six years ago to live with (the plan was forever) a lovely lady that I met on Thaifriendly... we were great for my first initial two week visits staying together and even the first few months living together when I moved here. After that, it started to fall apart and was apparent we weren't compatible.I think we both shared equally in the reasons we couldn't stay together, but I'm fine with that and we moved on. Too bad though, she was a banshee in the bedroom LOL!

I've now been with a super lovely lady that I met over four years ago (also on-line initially), and we get along famously; like best friends, as it should be. She's stuck with me even though I can be difficult at times and she's also put up with my occasional philandering, which was part of my package... I know everyone has a tipping point when it comes to sticking with a relationship, and so far I've managed to keep her clear of that.

In the end, I think I've finally met one that can put up with me... and I surely feel comfortable with her... but it's taken a long time, four countries, and a bunch of stress and heartache to get to this point.

Have patience. Long term good relationships aren't easy to find, and also not easy to keep, no matter where in the world you decide to look.

[chicowoodduck]

End of story...?

[JAFO]

Garry go to mbk. Sit in a coffee shop with passing traffic and smile at the women walking past. When one reciprocates indicate coffee and if she joins you go from there.

Yeah, creep 'em out; that'll work

OP, you're 65 - you're going to have to put in some effort.

Saying you're not willing to travel suggests you're being unrealistic and think you're some sort of "catch"

Don't care how "slim" or "fit" you THINK you are; at the end of the day, a 45 year old woman isn't going to be as affected by the temporary buzz of meeting someone new as she used to be in her youth - especially with a guy your age.

She'll be a lot more cynical and a lot more pragmatic - assessing you less on your personality and looks and more on your income, background, generosity and the chances of you cheating

Love may come into it later but odds are, it'll be that "gratitude love" you hear so much about in Thailand

Good points CH, additionally other things to consider is the woman's age the man is trying to date. Its really no different then anywhere in many regards. The young girls have no real relationship experience and are easily impressed with a man who has financial means(Look at what most of us have seen in Thailand). Conversely older woman are likely well established. They have been there and done that to a great degree. Lots more life experience. Have own money, own car, own house. They are not likely impressed with the mans financial means as much. It will boil down to personality, stability, a lot more about he looks and how he dresses and cares for himself. Dating older women takes a lot more effort and perseverance as well. Reality too is the mans age has a huge impact on it. Why would a 40 year old woman want to connect with a significantly older man? At some point we all have to be realistic about it all. The OP states his age at 65. He is looking for a 40ish year old woman with limited success. It is going to take some real patience and courting.

[mikiea]

I'm marrying A woman that I met on the net,Wayn.She finishes her PHD around June.We will be living at her place around 6

Months out of the year and the rest in the US.Um you might want to bend A little.Maybe lighten up.I find that everyone lies.Maybe

Some are small white lies.No big deal.You can hunt far and wide your not going to find perfect.You probably have some things

That many women don't like either.I try to comprise.Roll with the punches.

on line ? really ? hahahahaha ... you do know if she is on line ehhhh..... you are but only one of many , sorry bub , but someone needs to tell you this ..............

[mikiea]

I have a hard time meeting honest Thai women.

Probably using the wrong bait. Were you all that successful luring honest farang women before fleeing to Thailand?

dude is looking foe a yass sir boss man type lady . himmm....seems it would be just as easy to find as matching bar stools with seat belts for after happy hour .....

[smotherb]

26 and 77, I put my offer on the table !

You can't beat true love !

True love? That terms seems almost humorous when mentioned on TV. A true relationship takes many forms. Male-female relationships are quite similar to any business or contractual relationship. Although it may be preferable to some to have an emotional offer reciprocated, an offer of assets can also be lasting. It depends greatly upon what each partner is willing to offer and accept.

[Petchabun Man]

If you looking in a tourist area your wasting your time. The majority of good Thai women have the impression that most foreign men are either, drunks, slobs by the way they dress etc. So many before you have ruined it for what few good men are here. Speaking Thai changes everything. Unlike most foreigners who never bother to learn date and often marry Thai women from the bars or massage shops. Ever wonder why you hear of the thousands of she did me wrong stories and men killing themselves off? Also the foreign men you might be hanging around might be part of the problem. Met my girlfriend years ago and at the time she barely spoke English, did not dress nor act like a bar girl and her friends were the same. Been together going on sixteen years. You sound like a nice guy better than most i have seen on the streets . No reason you should not be able to find a good woman.

[joebrown]

You dont say your age, Or what you do for a living, Sometimes not looking things happen , dont have any fast hard rules, There are 1000s of Good Thai women who want a good man, But they dont live in Pattaya, I wish i had 10baht for every time a Thai lady has asked me if i know any good men, I would be a baht millionaire.

It's not just farangs who find it difficult to find an honest and faithful Thai woman. Ive listened to many Thai women who say it's very difficult to find a farang of similar qualities, ie not a 'butterfly', and one who doesn't already have wife in farangland.

[elgordo38]

26 and 77, I put my offer on the table !

You can't beat true love !

Everything has a price in life in this case it was more than reasonable. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown.

If I was Elgordo38, I'd be sleeping with one eye open, not going anywhere near a balcony more than 50 cm above ground, exchanging part of each meal, after serving, with the 26 yo spouse, and any other precaution you can think of, in the interests of longevity.....your longevity!

I am still here after 4 years together guess your statement does not hold water and definitely shows your naivety.

[Stevemercer]

I think the OP said he is currently living in Kalasin, so he is remote from tourist areas. There are many, many decent ladies over 45 in towns like this, but a ferang would only normally meet them by recommendations through a friend etc. I would have thought that fellow teachers would be able to recommend someone with a bit of English and who might be suitable. You want someone who has a good job and, perhaps, not much in the way of family.

I know a ferang who married an ideal Thai lady. Never married, no children, parents have died and no brothers and sisters! He doesn't have to contribute to the Thai family because there is no Thai family. He can spend his money just on his/his wife's happiness.

[thaiduncankk]

I dated several Thai girls before I moved here, that I met on line they were mostly all lovely (a couple of SHORT stints with whack jobs, but they were quickly apparent), but in time I saw that they weren't going to be right for me for various reasons, not all they're issues, but sometimes mine. The ones that I considered serious 'contenders' were all quite lovely and we are still in touch to this day.

I moved here six years ago to live with (the plan was forever) a lovely lady that I met on Thaifriendly... we were great for my first initial two week visits staying together and even the first few months living together when I moved here. After that, it started to fall apart and was apparent we weren't compatible.I think we both shared equally in the reasons we couldn't stay together, but I'm fine with that and we moved on. Too bad though, she was a banshee in the bedroom LOL!

I've now been with a super lovely lady that I met over four years ago (also on-line initially), and we get along famously; like best friends, as it should be. She's stuck with me even though I can be difficult at times and she's also put up with my occasional philandering, which was part of my package... I know everyone has a tipping point when it comes to sticking with a relationship, and so far I've managed to keep her clear of that.

In the end, I think I've finally met one that can put up with me... and I surely feel comfortable with her... but it's taken a long time, four countries, and a bunch of stress and heartache to get to this point.

Have patience. Long term good relationships aren't easy to find, and also not easy to keep, no matter where in the world you decide to look.

The people who go on dating websites or meet bar girls, are not looking for 'someone to put up with them'.

Your 'relationship' shows signs of insecurity on your behalf.

Why not just live alone and carry on with your philandering ?

[tonray]

Lying is done in many cases (execpt with bargirls who lie to deceive) to save or preserve face. Thais will never admit to making a mistake so they would rather lie than admit it which would be embarrassing to them. takes some time to deal with that.

[Blackfox]

If your more than 10 years older and her English is limited, she's in it for the cash.

To the OP, you're getting on, look for a women closer to your age. Even Thai chicks in their 40's don't want an old geezer.

Many deluded western men in this country will tell you different but believe me, I'm certain near every single one of them will be paying for the arrangement.

If you're not meeting them in the country, move to the city.

[MauiSteveBKK]

Hey -- to me, it's about their age.

Move up to 43+ and you will find many, professional, small business owners:

+ If they have kids, they will be older and gone.

+ Good chance she speaks some English

+ She knows what she wants.

+ They can be extremely sexy.

I dated 5 women before meeting and eventually marrying my Thai wife from Tha Bo - 35km west of Nong Khai.

I dated a woman in Chiang Mai that owned a transportation company, a woman in Nong Khai that had an upscale dress

shop, and a woman in Udon Thani that did hair and make-up to famous actresses.

It's easy to find a bit older, quality woman.

Suggestions learned the hard way:

- Don't talk too much.

- Don't try so hard to "impress" them. Let it flow.

- Talk about FAMILY.

- Be Serious. They don't have time for a "butterfly" man.

- If they offer to buy a dinner, let them. Then call them quickly for another date.

I am 62. My Thai wife is 48.

[NoshowJones]

There are loads of decent honest Thai women, but as Farangs, the much fewer ones who are questionable, tend to be attracted to us as in their eyes we are rich

and will marry them and buy them a house and care for their family financially.

It is just up to us to not rush into things, do a bit of due diligence, but again, some of us Farangs have private pensions etc, so it all depends on whether you are

happy to look after a girl financially or not, if not, then like me, find one who is working and has always been financially responsible for her children (if any) and her parents.

That is not to say that you should never help out financially from time to time to make things easier for her as I often do, but when I do it is because it is my choice.

[chilli42]

Looking for love in all the wrong places I guess. I wish I had a dollar for each time my wife's friends ask me to introduce them to a nice foreign guy. They are all sick of being treated like crap and cheated on by Thai men. These are all attractive women with their own career. They don't go to clubs or bars. They socialize mainly through parties. They only way you have a chance to meet one of these women is through work or to be introduced by a friend. The problem of course is I don't know any nice single foreign men ... if they would just give up on the "nice".

[elgenon]

You dont say your age, Or what you do for a living, Sometimes not looking things happen , dont have any fast hard rules, There are 1000s of Good Thai women who want a good man, But they dont live in Pattaya, I wish i had 10baht for every time a Thai lady has asked me if i know any good men, I would be a baht millionaire.

Tell them about me.

[SOTIRIOS]

.........find an 'ugly' woman....and tap into her inner beauty....the only way....maybe.......

...humble....modest.....

....but do any exist any more.......

[sawadee1947]

what about yourself? Are you honest? Bad habits? Bad attitudes? I would reckon it's not omly the women's fault. Start to know yourself first. Why a woman should choose you? Pro's and con's

[kinmaew]

I think you need to be like an inveterate gambler in the dating game. It often goes wrong a lot, but you do get some wins, and keep those wins in your head when you walk around as it should help finding a better one.