You've probably heard a lot about Thailand. The 'Land of Smiles' is known for it's warm hospitality, amazing cuisine and stunning landscapes. However, before heading off on your trip to Thailand there are a few things to take into consideration.

Here are 5 things you need to know, gathered from our friends in the travel industry - the ones who really know Thailand.

Watch out for dodgy deals

You know more Thai than you think

Beware of the buckets

Look before you leap

Stand your ground

http://www.worldnomads.com/travel-safety/thailand/5-things-i-wish-i-knew-before-going-to-thailand

That even if your married, own a company, working and have kids you will NEVER be accepted as you are back home, no matter how long you stay

and at any time you can be kicked out or refused your visa

The least nomads could do is spell his name correctly.

You should also know that you are more than likely to have at least one paedophile within spitting distance of you at any given time! So remember to spit.

I wish I'd known that strange guys would come up and give you a massage when taking a pee in a bar. I'd have been here sooner.

Find out which beer damages you the least

How to use an ATM if your girlfriend hasn't already shown you

That you can't, initially, eat most Thai food

That Pattaya and Phuket are to be avoided by decent human beings

How to recognise lady boys.

1. Dont judge an entire Nation by one resort experience.

2. What you think is a girl ...may not be!

3. You are not really that handsum.

4. A fool and his money really are easily parted.

5. Dont leave your common sense in the departure lounge.

A better topic might be "5 things I wish I never learned after coming to Thailand".

Never underestimate how stupid they are, or how stupid they think you are.

1. It's not called Bangkok............it's KrungThepMahaNakhonAmonRattanakosinMahintharaAyutthayaMahadilokPhop NoppharatRatchathaniBuriromUdomRatchaniwetMahasathanAmonPhimanAwatan SathitSakkathattiyaWitsanuKamprasit.

2. Unless a Thai tells them something, then it isn't true.

3. Do not try to do your job well and change things for the better. You will be labelled a trouble maker.

4. All the good things you have done over 10 years will immediately be forgotten the moment you f@@k up just once.

5. Do not ask a Thai for directions. Rather than say they don't know (face), they will send you off on a wild goose chase.

One thing you also should know ,that there is a load of old bullshit posted on these boards

- Beware of the dangerous street dogs

- If you do get bitten get the 3843 shots against rabies

- Do not under any circumstances rent a scooter

- Do not rent a jet ski

- Cross the street only in group , or use a pram without a baby to stop traffic

- Long tall Thai girls with bigger chests are not girls at all

Don't take any notice of us dropkicks who post here.

Don't bother to learn Thai, they pretend they don't understand and are not worth talking to anyway most of the time

The one thing you cannot do without here are good ear plugs, you do not want to be listening to the Thai in laws rabbiting away about som tam or why it's hot/ cold.

Don't eat the food, Thai 'cuisine' really is the most ghastly repetitive stuff, but if you like lots of rice, veg, + fish served with some of the worst smelling stuff (plha ra) maybe OK

Never lend money to a Thai for obvious reasons, other foreigners even more so.

Never ever be tempted to marry a bar girl, most are as thick as a brick and as crafty as a fox.

The only thing Thais excel at are music and dance, that's the amazing part, the rest is not worth a mention.

Lady boys are guys, treat them accordingly

Bar girls are for fun not keeps

Don't rent jet skis, never !

Never walk away from an open beer

Thais fight in packs like dogs

Etc

Etc

Etc

More about myself.

Beware of foreigners claiming to be lawyers and or big property hot shots in the resort towns or even in sakhon nowhere buyer beware, do background checks on these sort of people before spending a penny.

For all you paranoids out there, this is the best method for your survival in Thailand.

What amazing cuisine exactly? I must have missed that one.

What amazing cuisine exactly? I must have missed that one.

add MSG sugar and fish sauce in equal amounts and its all amazing

Wish I knew :-

My woman IS different.

Thai's love us foreigners

No need to ever learn Thai as your girlfriend/wife will translate everything for you.

No need to rent a house instead its so easy to buy one under your wife's name. Let her do the paperwork while you put your feet up and open a cold beer Chang.

Thai's are naturally honest and truthful. If one asks to borrow money, go ahead and lend them. No need for a contract. Their word is their bond.

Any farrang telling you different, is just twisted and sick. Ignore them.

Beware of farangs who drink Chang beer.

Beware of farangs selling real estate. No explanation necessary.

Don't fall in love more than once a week. Too expensive.

Your girlfriends 'brother' is actually her real lover.

Don't pay more than 6000 Baht for the non existant funeral of your Gfs non existant relative.

Once you accept the fact you are a walking talking ATM you will sleep better at night.

And again i reiterate , there is a load of old bullshit posted on this subject , mainly by the few who have come a cropper .

And again i reiterate , there is a load of old bullshit posted on this subject , mainly by the few who have come a cropper .

I couldn't agree more! Well said.

you can scratch out the word 'buckets' and replace it with 'woman'. Buckets are only for 1 week a year. Woman are year round.

If you are riding your own motorbike and are a foreigner with white skin never (and I mean NEVER) ride by a police station in shorts. Unless you like giving donations to local law enforcement officials...

If you are riding your own motorbike and are a foreigner with white skin never (and I mean NEVER) ride by a police station in shorts. Unless you like giving donations to local law enforcement officials...

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bull sh1t

1. It's not called Bangkok............it's KrungThepMahaNakhonAmonRattanakosinMahintharaAyutthayaMahadilokPhop NoppharatRatchathaniBuriromUdomRatchaniwetMahasathanAmonPhimanAwatan SathitSakkathattiyaWitsanuKamprasit.

2. Unless a Thai tells them something, then it isn't true.

3. Do not try to do your job well and change things for the better. You will be labelled a trouble maker.

4. All the good things you have done over 10 years will immediately be forgotten the moment you f@@k up just once.

5. Do not ask a Thai for directions. Rather than say they don't know (face), they will send you off on a wild goose chase.

Point 4 applies anywhere in the world.

Some absolutely practical advice:

1. Thai king-size beds are the same size as U.S. king size beds, but for reasons totally unknown, good quality sheets sets in Thailand cost 10 times what they do in the western world and it's nearly impossible to find flat top sheets that match the rest of the sheet set. So, bring several sets of good quality sheets with you. (Isn't this stuff made in this part of the world?)

2. Ditto for good quality bath towels.

3. Ditto for good quality athletic shoes.

4. Ditto for good quality underwear, especially women's bras.

5. Ditto for good quality swimwear, especially for a woman who isn't toothpick thin and swims laps for several hours weekly.