Should I build a house next door to the inlaws?

[pgrahmm]

Hey Davo, aren't you glad you asked?

Apparently...

Your house will get trashed.

It is too hot.

It is too cold.

You won't be able to buy pickles or mushy peas.

Your front door will get burnt down.

The inlaws will eat all your food.

There is no water.

You will get diseases.

You will need to learn Isaan.

There will be 4 barking dogs.

Your tv will be on full volume all night.

They will bleed you dry.

You will have to build another better house for the inlaws.

Motorbikes will keep you awake all night.

The smell of cooking will drive you mad.

Charcoal Sip - you forgot the charcoal.....

[pgrahmm]

^ everyone's free choice

Every 90 days we leave the country (regional airport is only 50 mins drive away) for a mini (nah sometimes longer) holiday, we just came back (escape Song Kran) from 2 weeks Singapore and in July we are going for a 4-5 day trip to HKG.

I was on an extension of stay (based on marriage) but as said not anymore, now on ME NON-O

We have a great garden, with fish pounds (fish is not for sale, just a hobby) and it gives us enough things to do. Live is relaxed here (for us that is).

The food you mention, is readily available (tomorrow will send you a link via PM what is available here) for home delivery at a small premium.

Went to China.....

Got back & hobby fish - gone.....24 hour grounds keeper or day house keeper - no idea what happened.....

About 2 years of nice big fish gone....

[Stevemercer]

To 'pgrahmm'. That's a terrible shame about the fish. Like you, I've been raising a few big fish as a hobby. I put some old coils of barbed wire in the pond to make it harder for anyone to fish them out with a net or line.

Hopefully it is not an inside job involving an in-law!

[tonray]

To 'pgrahmm'. That's a terrible shame about the fish. Like you, I've been raising a few big fish as a hobby. I put some old coils of barbed wire in the pond to make it harder for anyone to fish them out with a net or line.

Hopefully it is not an inside job involving an in-law!

They are likely covered in salt and roasting on that stand 200 meters down the Soi. Don't forget the sauce and herbs

[sipi]

^ everyone's free choice

Every 90 days we leave the country (regional airport is only 50 mins drive away) for a mini (nah sometimes longer) holiday, we just came back (escape Song Kran) from 2 weeks Singapore and in July we are going for a 4-5 day trip to HKG.

I was on an extension of stay (based on marriage) but as said not anymore, now on ME NON-O

We have a great garden, with fish pounds (fish is not for sale, just a hobby) and it gives us enough things to do. Live is relaxed here (for us that is).

The food you mention, is readily available (tomorrow will send you a link via PM what is available here) for home delivery at a small premium.

Went to China.....

Got back & hobby fish - gone.....24 hour grounds keeper or day house keeper - no idea what happened.....

About 2 years of nice big fish gone....

Blame the inlaws....

[Ireland32]

I wouldn't do it, but if you must why not build a very cheap house there and buy house to retire in somewhere else, then you always have a house to live in when you and the Mrs want to go back.

buy one of those cheap bungalows , and can stay and leave anytime without big investment

It would be better not to build at all because going cheap means parents and daughter lose face in the eyes of the village and they will forever hate you for it. Think about it seriously before you go this route.

tell everybody just holiday home , Have Penthouse in city

[Stocky]

I put 500km between us and the in-laws, still not far enough.

any particular reason?

Father liked to beat his wife and kids when drunk. The sad old bastard is on his own now; his son married and moved to Phuket, we moved to Hat Yai and with the children safely married his wife divorced him and moved to Kanchanaburi.

[MJCM]

^ everyone's free choice

Every 90 days we leave the country (regional airport is only 50 mins drive away) for a mini (nah sometimes longer) holiday, we just came back (escape Song Kran) from 2 weeks Singapore and in July we are going for a 4-5 day trip to HKG.

I was on an extension of stay (based on marriage) but as said not anymore, now on ME NON-O

We have a great garden, with fish pounds (fish is not for sale, just a hobby) and it gives us enough things to do. Live is relaxed here (for us that is).

The food you mention, is readily available (tomorrow will send you a link via PM what is available here) for home delivery at a small premium.

Went to China.....

Got back & hobby fish - gone.....24 hour grounds keeper or day house keeper - no idea what happened.....

About 2 years of nice big fish gone....

My BIL is the only one who has the keys when we are away, and if he decides that he wants to eat one, he can as the fish are only Plah Tabtim and Plah Nin and we eat them also. But I understand what you are getting at, unfortunately it happens (a lot of stories in the Farming Section)

[ardokano]

I wouldn't do it, but if you must why not build a very cheap house there and buy house to retire in somewhere else, then you always have a house to live in when you and the Mrs want to go back.

buy one of those cheap bungalows , and can stay and leave anytime without big investment

It would be better not to build at all because going cheap means parents and daughter lose face in the eyes of the village and they will forever hate you for it. Think about it seriously before you go this route.

Why need wife who can hate you because some strange people thinks? Wife care more about some other people think than her husband wants?

Who need this wife?

[scorecard]

Anyway back to Davos original post. We built next door to the inlaws but for now it is only a holiday house. It sits vacant 10 months a year until I retire. In the meantime the inlaws look after it, otherwise (if it wasn't next door to the inlaws) it would possibly get broken into.

Presently we are only there two months a year. Frankly I couldn't think of anything worse than being in Thailand and not being around my family. But they are very honest and fun folk.

I am sure the likes of Charlie have good reason for changing their mind and I look forward to hearing why.

[tonray]

I wouldn't do it, but if you must why not build a very cheap house there and buy house to retire in somewhere else, then you always have a house to live in when you and the Mrs want to go back.

buy one of those cheap bungalows , and can stay and leave anytime without big investment

It would be better not to build at all because going cheap means parents and daughter lose face in the eyes of the village and they will forever hate you for it. Think about it seriously before you go this route.

Why need wife who can hate you because some strange people thinks? Wife care more about some other people think than her husband wants?

Who need this wife?

You are joking right ? Here is the order of how things are in Thailand:

Wife's Mother: #1

Wife's Children: #2

Wife's Father and extended family (aunts/uncles...etc) #3

Husband: #4

[Morch]

Why need wife who can hate you because some strange people thinks? Wife care more about some other people think than her husband wants?

Who need this wife?

You are joking right ? Here is the order of how things are in Thailand:

Wife's Mother: #1

Wife's Children: #2

Wife's Father and extended family (aunts/uncles...etc) #3

Husband: #4

Wonder what's the average pecking order from a foreigner's point of view.

[laislica]

Tonray I've visited a cpl of times the whole family apart from my fiancee speak zero english. They are hard workers and reasonably fit.

I don't support anyone

Dont drink as far as I'm aware.

20 minutes from town.

They are rice farmers

We bought a house about 350 m away from my wife's brother and his wife and child.

They are only there at weekends.

My wife's Mum and step father live about 10 Km away.

Other family at least 15Km away.

This works well, we spend quite a few weekends with her brother and they drive, we don't so they take care of us for trips and days out.

We get occasional visits from another brother/step father who live 10Km away.

I have a friend in CM who lived next door to his in-laws, it was a disaster, his wife spent most of her time with her folks, not her husband.

The marriage didn't last.

Remember in Thai culture - Family first, husband fourth if you are lucky.....

Edited May 4, 2016 by laislica

[ardokano]

You are joking right ? Here is the order of how things are in Thailand:

Wife's Mother: #1

Wife's Children: #2

Wife's Father and extended family (aunts/uncles...etc) #3

Husband: #4

And how about " in the eyes of the village"?

And i am not joking.

I just curious.

For WHO need this is wife?

Edited May 4, 2016 by ardokano

[ardokano]

Wonder what's the average pecking order from a foreigner's point of view.

Ok

So you can say how is Thai view?

[ardokano]

Tonray I've visited a cpl of times the whole family apart from my fiancee speak zero english. They are hard workers and reasonably fit.

I don't support anyone

Dont drink as far as I'm aware.

20 minutes from town.

They are rice farmers

We bought a house about 350 m away from my wife's brother and his wife and child.

They are only there at weekends.

My wife's Mum and step father live about 10 Km away.

Other family at least 15Km away.

This works well, we spend quite a few weekends with her brother and they drive, we don't so they take care of us for trips and days out.

We get occasional visits from another brother/step father who live 10Km away.

I have a friend in CM who lived next door to his in-laws, it was a disaster, his wife spent most of her time with her folks, not her husband.

The marriage didn't last.

Remember in Thai culture - Family first, husband fourth if you are lucky.....

Husband it not family?

You mast kiding me.

So her father not family fo her mum?

[MyFriend You]

Nooooooo, but I built their f'amily house' across the river and 26 kms away and they still come over to visit whenever, and how long they want............in retrospect I hated it for the first few years, now I don't care so much about it, its even enjoyable.

[balo]

If this was in Bangkok I would say yes , you can do it and relocate somewhere else in the city if your relationship with the family doesn't work out as you planned. But in Isaan or in the middle of nowhere, no way . They will eat you alive.

[kannot]

To 'pgrahmm'. That's a terrible shame about the fish. Like you, I've been raising a few big fish as a hobby. I put some old coils of barbed wire in the pond to make it harder for anyone to fish them out with a net or line.

Hopefully it is not an inside job involving an in-law!

They are likely covered in salt and roasting on that stand 200 meters down the Soi. Don't forget the sauce and herbs

and if u as the frang want one it will be 100% more baht

[kannot]

You are joking right ? Here is the order of how things are in Thailand:

It would be better not to build at all because going cheap means parents and daughter lose face in the eyes of the village and they will forever hate you for it. Think about it seriously before you go this route.

Why need wife who can hate you because some strange people thinks? Wife care more about some other people think than her husband wants?

Who need this wife?

Wife's Mother: #1

Wife's Children: #2

Wife's Father and extended family (aunts/uncles...etc) #3

Husband: #4

bad planning (wink icon not working)

Wife's Mother: #1 dead before married

Wife's Children: #2 got none cant have any

Wife's Father and extended family (aunts/uncles...etc) #3 have nowt to do with them 500km away

Husband: #4 number 1

[D3030]

Hey Davo, aren't you glad you asked?

Apparently...

Your house will get trashed.

It is too hot.

It is too cold.

You won't be able to buy pickles or mushy peas.

Your front door will get burnt down.

The inlaws will eat all your food.

There is no water.

You will get diseases.

You will need to learn Isaan.

There will be 4 barking dogs.

Your tv will be on full volume all night.

They will bleed you dry.

You will have to build another better house for the inlaws.

Motorbikes will keep you awake all night.

The smell of cooking will drive you mad.

Charcoal Sip - you forgot the charcoal.....

Sad, but true for some..

Add:

* Blasting the music while you're watching the television..

* Someone drinking beer or doing Thai whisky shots at 6:00 a.m.

* Wife decides to sell beer/whisky because the moochers keep coming to the house..

* You're now the taxi driver..

[laislica]

Tonray I've visited a cpl of times the whole family apart from my fiancee speak zero english. They are hard workers and reasonably fit.

I don't support anyone

Dont drink as far as I'm aware.

20 minutes from town.

They are rice farmers

We bought a house about 350 m away from my wife's brother and his wife and child.

They are only there at weekends.

My wife's Mum and step father live about 10 Km away.

Other family at least 15Km away.

This works well, we spend quite a few weekends with her brother and they drive, we don't so they take care of us for trips and days out.

We get occasional visits from another brother/step father who live 10Km away.

I have a friend in CM who lived next door to his in-laws, it was a disaster, his wife spent most of her time with her folks, not her husband.

The marriage didn't last.

Remember in Thai culture - Family first, husband fourth if you are lucky.....

Husband it not family?

You mast kiding me.

So her father not family fo her mum?

Not kidding.

The question was the order of priority to a Thai wife.

Farang who have other expectations will be disappointed.

This is Thai culture.

In the West, a western wife would put her husband first

then her children

then parents,

then other relatives

then friends.

In Thailand, friends can be above husbands.

If you think of husbands as last, you will not be far wrong.

[ardokano]

Tonray I've visited a cpl of times the whole family apart from my fiancee speak zero english. They are hard workers and reasonably fit.

I don't support anyone

Dont drink as far as I'm aware.

20 minutes from town.

They are rice farmers

We bought a house about 350 m away from my wife's brother and his wife and child.

They are only there at weekends.

My wife's Mum and step father live about 10 Km away.

Other family at least 15Km away.

This works well, we spend quite a few weekends with her brother and they drive, we don't so they take care of us for trips and days out.

We get occasional visits from another brother/step father who live 10Km away.

I have a friend in CM who lived next door to his in-laws, it was a disaster, his wife spent most of her time with her folks, not her husband.

The marriage didn't last.

Remember in Thai culture - Family first, husband fourth if you are lucky.....

Husband it not family?

You mast kiding me.

So her father not family fo her mum?

Not kidding.

The question was the order of priority to a Thai wife.

Farang who have other expectations will be disappointed.

This is Thai culture.

In the West, a western wife would put her husband first

then her children

then parents,

then other relatives

then friends.

In Thailand, friends can be above husbands.

If you think of husbands as last, you will not be far wrong.

8

Why only in western?

In many Asia its same. In mane east even wife family last after husband family and husband friend

So

Fir who need this is wife?

[laislica]

So her father not family fo her mum?

Not kidding.

The question was the order of priority to a Thai wife.

Farang who have other expectations will be disappointed.

This is Thai culture.

In the West, a western wife would put her husband first

then her children

then parents,

then other relatives

then friends.

In Thailand, friends can be above husbands.

If you think of husbands as last, you will not be far wrong.

8

Why only in western?

In many Asia its same. In mane east even wife family last after husband family and husband friend

So

Fir who need this is wife?

I'm sure that you are correct but this discussion is about Thailand and this is how it here for most people that I know.

If you don't like the "Rules", of course you don't have to play the game here 555

Maybe you could read Thailand Fever, an excellent book that will teach you about Thai (and possibly Western) culture.

This could help you to know the "Rules" and decide where you want to be.

Best of luck.

[ardokano]

So her father not family fo her mum?

Not kidding.

The question was the order of priority to a Thai wife.

Farang who have other expectations will be disappointed.

This is Thai culture.

In the West, a western wife would put her husband first

then her children

then parents,

then other relatives

then friends.

In Thailand, friends can be above husbands.

If you think of husbands as last, you will not be far wrong.

8

Why only in western?

In many Asia its same. In mane east even wife family last after husband family and husband friend

So

Fir who need this is wife?

I'm sure that you are correct but this discussion is about Thailand and this is how it here for most people that I know.

If you don't like the "Rules", of course you don't have to play the game here 555

Maybe you could read Thailand Fever, an excellent book that will teach you about Thai (and possibly Western) culture.

This could help you to know the "Rules" and decide where you want to be.

Best of luck.

1. Rules made people.

2. Some folow rules evry where(its mean not have him self any rules )

Some choes/make/get obly one rules and follow anywhere.

Ps

I guess discussion about a foreigner who is married wuth Thai lady ask about build or not house near wife family.

So it not only about Thailand. About foreigner and family thinks too.

Edited May 5, 2016 by ardokano

[KMartinHandyman]

Build next door?

No.

[laislica]

8

Why only in western?

In many Asia its same. In mane east even wife family last after husband family and husband friend

So

Fir who need this is wife?

I'm sure that you are correct but this discussion is about Thailand and this is how it here for most people that I know.

If you don't like the "Rules", of course you don't have to play the game here 555

Maybe you could read Thailand Fever, an excellent book that will teach you about Thai (and possibly Western) culture.

This could help you to know the "Rules" and decide where you want to be.

Best of luck.

1. Rules made people.

2. Some folow rules evry where(its mean not have him self any rules )

Some choes/make/get obly one rules and follow anywhere.

Ps

I guess discussion about a foreigner who is married wuth Thai lady ask about build or not house near wife family.

So it not only about Thailand. About foreigner and family thinks too.

OP:- (Original Post) <Snip>My thai fiancee of 5 years and I are thinking of building our retirement home on her land an hour from ubon.

The only thing stopping me from doing it now is its next door to her parents and a kilometre from her brother and sisters houses.<Snip>

ubon is in the east of Thailand (not Udon but Ubon) Thailand.

The girlfriend is Thai.

Family nearby.

Thai culture, other cultures not important.

I guess that English is not your first language.

One person gave advantages of living close to her family.

Many others (including me) suggest that he builds with a reasonable distance between their house and her family.

Up to him what he chooses to do.

Up to you to choose what you do.

I already choose and have a reasonable distance between our house and her family, about 10-100Km, it's a big family.

This works well for me,

it also works well for my wife and her family.

The Thai culture is honoured and my Western culture is also honered.

By the way, we only stay in Thailand for 4-5 months per year.

We are now in Spain for 6-7 months.

Now the distance is 11,000 Km

555

[IMA_FARANG]

Before you do "build a house" find out who actualy OWNS the Land the house is built upon.

As a foriegner you are NOT allowed to own the actual land in Thailand....... Your wife and your wife's family can own land....but you can not legally own the land.

That means once your house is built the actual LANDOWNER aan take away your newly built house as the or she owsn the land your house is built on....not you.

[ardokano]

OP:- (Original Post) <Snip>My thai fiancee of 5 years and I are thinking of building our retirement home on her land an hour from ubon.

The only thing stopping me from doing it now is its next door to her parents and a kilometre from her brother and sisters houses.<Snip>

ubon is in the east of Thailand (not Udon but Ubon) Thailand.

The girlfriend is Thai.

Family nearby.

Thai culture, other cultures not important.

I guess that English is not your first language.

One person gave advantages of living close to her family.

Many others (including me) suggest that he builds with a reasonable distance between their house and her family.

Up to him what he chooses to do.

Up to you to choose what you do.

I already choose and have a reasonable distance between our house and her family, about 10-100Km, it's a big family.

This works well for me,

it also works well for my wife and her family.

The Thai culture is honoured and my Western culture is also honered.

By the way, we only stay in Thailand for 4-5 months per year.

We are now in Spain for 6-7 months.

Now the distance is 11,000 Km

555

Yes English not my first

And I know my English poor.

Sorry

Thai culture, other cultures not important.

Why it not important?

Married TWO cultur people

is it?

SO why husband culture not important?

For who not important?

for wife?

So why need this is wife?

PS

i even not discuss with you its thai or not thai culture.

I know many Thai family where wife frollow husband and his family or even wife family follow husband..

And even more

lover family follow Thai men

[davo2212]

8

Why only in western?

In many Asia its same. In mane east even wife family last after husband family and husband friend

So

Fir who need this is wife?

I'm sure that you are correct but this discussion is about Thailand and this is how it here for most people that I know.

If you don't like the "Rules", of course you don't have to play the game here 555

Maybe you could read Thailand Fever, an excellent book that will teach you about Thai (and possibly Western) culture.

This could help you to know the "Rules" and decide where you want to be.

Best of luck.

1. Rules made people.

2. Some folow rules evry where(its mean not have him self any rules )

Some choes/make/get obly one rules and follow anywhere.

Ps

I guess discussion about a foreigner who is married wuth Thai lady ask about build or not house near wife family.

So it not only about Thailand. About foreigner and family thinks too.

OP:- (Original Post) <Snip>My thai fiancee of 5 years and I are thinking of building our retirement home on her land an hour from ubon.

The only thing stopping me from doing it now is its next door to her parents and a kilometre from her brother and sisters houses.<Snip>

ubon is in the east of Thailand (not Udon but Ubon) Thailand.

The girlfriend is Thai.

Family nearby.

Thai culture, other cultures not important.

I guess that English is not your first language.

One person gave advantages of living close to her family.

Many others (including me) suggest that he builds with a reasonable distance between their house and her family.

Up to him what he chooses to do.

Up to you to choose what you do.

I already choose and have a reasonable distance between our house and her family, about 10-100Km, it's a big family.

This works well for me,

it also works well for my wife and her family.

The Thai culture is honoured and my Western culture is also honered.

By the way, we only stay in Thailand for 4-5 months per year.

We are now in Spain for 6-7 months.

Now the distance is 11,000 Km

555

spain. Is English your first language?

Hmmm