my wife wont believe me

[giddyup]

When you have corrupt lawyers, police, government officials etc, it's no wonder the Thais trust no one. Recently a brother of my partners family died, his wife had bought a life insurance policy before he got sick that paid around 100,000 baht. The broker who sold her the policy came around and insisted she was owed half because she had sold her the policy, and threatened to "make trouble" if she wasn't paid. In the end the wife agreed to pay her 20,000 baht.

[how241]

This is common in Thailand.  Just accept it and don't let it bother you....Easier said then done.  Good Luck !

[Krataiboy]

On 7/23/2017 at 5:52 AM, buffallobill said:

473geo, its not my pension in 14 years, that her aunt dosnt think my wife will get, her aunt thinks she wont get my properties or my life insurance, which is rubish as i have written a will. The post is more about why my wife believes people who tell her shit, even though i tell her differently...

Get the lawyer who drew up your Will to tell her.

[biggles45]

OP, did you write the will in Thailand or in the UK? Is a will made in Thailand accepted by an english court, assuming it is translated? 

I can understand how your wife could inherit your assets in Thailand from a Thai will but I am unclear how she would be expected to access assets in the UK, would she have to go there to lodge the will, death certificate etc. This is a very important issue for many of us here and I am surprised that the posts are concentrating on the "believe" angle and not the substance of your problem. 

Maybe the Aunt is thinking of the same issues that I have raised?

[Juan B Tong]

Inform wifie that a ghost came at night and told you Auntie has been taken over by a malevolent spirit.

[Bluetongue]

11 minutes ago, biggles45 said:

OP, did you write the will in Thailand or in the UK? Is a will made in Thailand accepted by an english court, assuming it is translated? 

I can understand how your wife could inherit your assets in Thailand from a Thai will but I am unclear how she would be expected to access assets in the UK, would she have to go there to lodge the will, death certificate etc. This is a very important issue for many of us here and I am surprised that the posts are concentrating on the "believe" angle and not the substance of your problem. 

Maybe the Aunt is thinking of the same issues that I have raised?

Those issues are up to the executor of the will, which need not be the wife. I certainly wouldn't appoint her as one. She is the benefactress and the belief issue would be common I think. Maybe Thai family wisdom is predicting the difficulties that must exist in many cases, despite wills existing. I mean after all every other farking thing that we have to do with both Thai and foreign Governments and officialdoms is twice as complicated or more.

[Baerboxer]

I'm sorry to say your experiencing a Thai phenomenon. Anything another Thai says must be correct, intelligent, wise, and beyond criticism. What do farangs know? Bugger all!

 

My missus of 14 years is well educated, has bachelor and master's degrees, speaks several languages and was a senior teacher for many years. But still listened to the tripe the ex-bar girls in the UK spouted about this that and the other. They might be ex-whores, piss artists and still on the game but hey, they're Thai so they must be experts on all aspects of law, citizenship, rights, business, finance etc in the UK. The amount of time she came to me with questions because some girl she was tutoring in English said this that or the other was unreal. A number of husbands of Thais said the same thing. 

To be fair it's probably also a woman thing as husbands of other nationality women have moaned about similar. They get an idea in their head, which other women have and it ain't gonna be shifted, no matter what.

 

Men are from Mars and Women from Venus mate!

[yardrunner]

it is not just about believing other Thais, my Thai daughter complains that her mother (my wife)will not believe her but will believe anything her friends down the market tell her

[OmarZaid]

Make a will, register it with a thai lawyer in thai and translate to English and then notarize at your embassy . . .

 

You can always change it if push comes to shove. NB: that an astute lady will want things in order ... you should respect that. I did.

 

My life's never been better.

[transam]

1 minute ago, OmarZaid said:

Make a will, register it with a thai lawyer in thai and translate to English and then notarize at your embassy . . .

 

You can always change it if push comes to shove. NB: that an astute lady will want things in order ... you should respect that. I did.

 

My life's never been better.

Are you saying putting future cash payment on ones death fixes all...?

[Naam]

On 7/23/2017 at 8:53 AM, colinneil said:

Your missing the point, i have a fantastic marriage, but my point is no matter what a farang says a Thai is always believed before the farang.

if that is the case i don't understand your claim "fantastic marriage".

[KIWIBATCH]

On 7/23/2017 at 8:48 AM, kaorop said:

Low education + high indoctrination = Thai No1 (in everything)

 

Good for those pulling the strings, bad for those farang who chose the above as a partner.

 

 

Precisely...and here is the  wife/wife's family trying to secure the "money tree" downstream before he's even dead 

[transam]

2 minutes ago, KIWIBATCH said:

Precisely...and here is the  wife/wife's family trying to secure the "money tree" downstream before he's even dead 

That happens without a farang involved...

[The Deerhunter]

On 7/23/2017 at 6:18 AM, colinneil said:

Problem that you have got is a Thai will believe anything another Thai tells them before she will believe you.

 

I have had similar problems with my wife, her sister said this or that, all nonsense but, but she is my sister.

Even after proving her sister wrong my wife wouldnt listen, she told me Thai people do not lie.

All Thais have the same attitude,.

They can change, but it takes time.  My wife spent 7 years with me in my home country before we came to live here and got a solid grounding in how things are done elsewhere.   The problem is although there is corruption of many types in most countries, here it is on another level altogether and everywhere; Even in police, judiciary ad law.  We had an opponents family directly bribe a family nephew's lawyer here to give him wrong advice over an important matter.   The common feeling is that you can only trust your blood family against any and all others.  And sometime not even some of your blood family.  It is a "missfiring" form of the extreme trust children have in parental or family authority above all others as the first and last line of defence against all dangers, cheating and corruption.   Sort of an extension of Josef Goebbels "Give me the boy until age 7 and I will give you the man."   

 

The line to take over Auntie is "She is not lying.  She really believes this but she is mistaken."   It will take time but it can change.  I can still feel that my wife is having an internal argument with herself over some things in our family here.  She WANTS to believe the family but KNOWS I am right on certain things,and I can see her mentally struggle with that.   Good luck.

[happylarry]

19 minutes ago, OmarZaid said:

Make a will, register it with a thai lawyer in thai and translate to English and then notarize at your embassy . . .

 

You can always change it if push comes to shove. NB: that an astute lady will want things in order ... you should respect that. I did.

 

My life's never been better.

The wills my wife makes for clients are in both Thai and English. Paragraph 1, in Thai, then paragraph 1 in English, then paragraph 2 in Thai, and so on. Then towards the end of the will there is an extra paragraph stating that if there is a discrepancy then the English version must be followed. This is a much better way of doing it than just doing it in Thai and having a separate translation as things can go missing also the client is absolutely sure of what he is signing.

HL

[kensisaket]

It would make most sense for you to get a copy of the will translated to Thai.  Attach copies of insurance policies, property titles; and, whatever else she will be entitled to.  You need to give her something tangible to hang her hopes on other than your word.  

[English Engineer]

When you made the will did your wife not go with you? Surely the lawyer is the best person to clarify the situation.

[Tony125]

You can search Google or PM me and I will give you links but the aunty is partly right. Although your marriage is valid in every country your will is not.  Thai will " only" covers assets in Thailand .    If you have any assets in the U.K. you need a UK Last Will and Testament too. The Thai will only covers Thailand. 

 

 

 

[cnx355]

What about going with her to a Thai lawyer that would  explain to  her the law.  And she can choose the lawyer herself so she  would no accuse you of paying the lawyer to lie to her...

 

Or like other say...wait and see what happen....

[Pilotman]

In my experience,  most of what you are reading here as 'advice' is less than helpful.   I have been married to my Thai wife for 20 years.  When we first married,  we engaged a Thai/English law firm in Bangkok to explain to her,  in simple terms,  her new status as a UK wife,  what she was entitled to in terms of the relationship and in general terms,  what the differences were between western life as a wife and that in LOS.  When we got to the UK,  I made sure she had access to Thai information through support groups.  After a few years,  she was the one giving advice to others.  I suggest that if you follow this course, you will go some way to allay her teal and very understandable concerns.  The other advice I was given was that,  when she arrived in the UK,  place an open return ticket in her bedside table and tell her that any time she wanted a break in LOS,  she could use it.  We have both made wills in both Thailand and England. Hope that helps 

[bobnuts]

I didn't read all the replies so apologies if I missed something. What I can say is that when we were married, 2000, we registered it at the amphur office. Then I had it entered onto the UK registry. This is probably what they are talking about. The process required a translation of the Thai document and, of course, a fee. I received documents back from the department of BDM stating that the marriage was recorded in the UK register.

 

Okay ignore all that, I just read this

Registryservicediscontinued

 

Seems that the service ended in 2014.

 

I would imagine your wife and her aunt are remembering situations that predate this when it was indeed available.

 

[Bangkok Barry]

You still have a lot to learn about Thai culture. Tell her you are right and her aunt is wrong, and you don't really care whether she believes you or not. You can't fix stupid, especially with a Thai, so don't even try. It's totally pointless. You can't win. Just count to 10, or 100, and accept it.

Quote

 

 

[HHTel]

On 7/23/2017 at 3:15 AM, 473geo said:

Well to an extent your wife and her family are correct in that she would not receive a widows pension from the UK government, this is my understanding. Perhaps this is prompting the statement?

The widow's pension was ended some years ago.  Under that scheme a widow received an allowance until she was 60 (state pension age)

The new system (Bereavement allowance) is not nearly as generous and if you are eligible it's only paid for up to 52 weeks, then you're on your own!

[colinneil]

1 hour ago, Naam said:

if that is the case i don't understand your claim "fantastic marriage".

Sorry but i cant understand why you said that.

I have a fantastic wife, yes she takes care of everything for me, and i mean everything.

As i am paraplegic, i cannot wash, clean myself, i need assistance for most things, she is always there 24/7, never complains

always smiling, stop i do that she is always saying, now tell me she is not a fantastic wife.

Only thing that is a problem, whatever a Thai says is correct, farangs are always wrong, every Thai thinks like that.

[Straight8]

And you really want to be with someone like that?

 

Wake up OP, you are the prize in this relationship, you have now over exposed yourself, she knows so much more than she needs to now, & if your wife uses a single gram of brain power she would know what you are saying is the truth and you are genuine, but she chooses to believe a pack of leeches instead, oh rest assured there is more than her aunty filling her head.

 

Lay down the terms and condition, on your terms, get her and yourself away far away and start a new life. Find out how strong her love for you really is.. this is ridiculous, to be in this position.

 

Sadly I hate to say this relationship is not what it should be.

[marquis22]

On 23/07/2017 at 1:37 AM, yannic said:

Ok tell her she wont get a dime and if she still likes you - you have a good wife - if not, it was all only for the money than you wont need to give her anything anyway


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

She wont even get a dime if he is from UK  :-)

[Tony125]

11 minutes ago, Bangkok Barry said:

You still have a lot to learn about Thai culture. Tell her you are right and her aunt is wrong, and you don't really care whether she believes you or not. You can't fix stupid, especially with a Thai, so don't even try. It's totally pointless. You can't win. Just count to 10, or 100, and accept it.

 

You need to check posts #48 (mine)  and  #50  as the marriage is valid in GB but the Thai will is not. It's not about pension he has other assets in GB. he will also need  a UK Last Will and Testament to make sure there are no problems. Had a family try to challenge a friends Thai will in GB saying he told them he would never marry a Thai but they did not know he filed  a UK Last Wil and Testament as well when he flew back to GB for heart operation . He died a few weeks later and when they tried to chalenge the Thai will friends here got in touch with Brit lawyer who found Brit Will and friends here sighned declarations that we knew him and his wife many years and was his wish. Took a little over a year but she got the UK asssets.

[Nemesis7]

No offence mate...is this marraige is for your asset or based on love?

2. Trust me, no matter what you do there are certain people will always remain hell bloody greedy, stating what if you died whats her security?

3. You should tell your wife to stand up and protect your honor and not letting third party to destroy the relationship you have.

4. Family background and education matters, mate, so does matter the up bringing.

%. If you can, please be strong and what ever you have earned enjoy your life with that as we all have only one life to live. Dont bother rest. Dont think she will never be married after you are gone. Thats the reality.

[catman20]

On 7/23/2017 at 8:53 AM, colinneil said:

Your missing the point, i have a fantastic marriage, but my point is no matter what a farang says a Thai is always believed before the farang.

Not only my wife, but every Thai lady married to a farang is the same

cant see why you lot would bother with the marriage thing if this is the case .

[Bangkok Barry]

14 minutes ago, Tony125 said:

You need to check posts #48 (mine)  and  #50  as the marriage is valid in GB but the Thai will is not. It's not about pension he has other assets in GB. he will also need  a UK Last Will and Testament to make sure there are no problems. Had a family try to challenge a friends Thai will in GB saying he told them he would never marry a Thai but they did not know he filed  a UK Last Wil and Testament as well when he flew back to GB for heart operation . He died a few weeks later and when they tried to chalenge the Thai will friends here got in touch with Brit lawyer who found Brit Will and friends here sighned declarations that we knew him and his wife many years and was his wish. Took a little over a year but she got the UK asssets.

 

The original post stated that the aunt had said the marriage wasn't valid outside Thailand and my response is based on that. The stuff about the will followed on from that. So I stand by what I wrote - the aunt is misinformed and will certainly not be corrected by anyone, let alone a foreigner.