Do you tell your Thai wife/girlfriend the truth about going to bars, playing with girls, etc.?

[Emster23]

My moral standards do not depend on where I am. Simple thing, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Would you guys who think it is acceptable to cheat be fine with wife or girlfriend banging other men?

[Inepto Cracy]

1 hour ago, oldhippy said:

The expression "male chauvinist pig" comes to mind.

 

Here is wonderful necktie to wear when you want to be seen as an MCP. I have had this tie since 1972.

[Aussieroaming]

1 minute ago, Emster23 said:

My moral standards do not depend on where I am. Simple thing, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Would you guys who think it is acceptable to cheat be fine with wife or girlfriend banging other men?

well said

[recycler]

Are you ready to accept if she would do the same, a drink, a BJ, an hour of sex, etc?

[Andycoops]

To the OP. Surely thats a joke. 

Of course I play away, they know you play away. 

You might think they don't but you would be wrong. 

It's endemic in Thai culture, the difference is the majority of us farang married guys go home and continue to support the wife and her family. 

[nikmar]

i like that my penis is not in the digestive tract of a duck!

[Andycoops]

1 minute ago, nikmar said:

i like that my penis is not in the digestive tract of a duck!

Quack, quack 

[MyFriend You]

You never shit in your own backyard...............when it comes to infidelity  - ensure 'Never the Twain shall meet" comes to mind if you want to keep your gonads and property.

 

But to tell, that would be throwing it in your loved ones face wouldn't it??

[oldhippy]

Some people have "an open marriage". Why not, both partners <deleted> around and enjoy it.

Some people believe in 1 to 1. Why not, both partners are monogamous and enjoy it.

And then there are the hypocrites who would never tolerate their partners to do as they do.

 

[Rimmer]

A troll post has been removed please try to discuss the topic not the poster, thank you.

[MadMuhammad]

Pretty big generalisation. My girlfriend has made it known without a shadow of a doubt that cheating is not ok. Zero. None. 

She has told me that if it happens she’s gone. No contact, sim cut, move away, friends told not to speak to me. Her friends are also if the same thought. 

 

Maybe bar girls (the less than 1% states previously in a comment) MAY put up with it but it’s only because they’re doing the same and you’re just the walking wallet. 

 

Decent Thai girls, or any girl for that matter, will not be ok with you playing around, quiet BJ, second gf as a rule. 

 

 

[Brayka]

If your Thai wife did this, how would you react?

 

[DrPhibes]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It is well known that lots of Thai men have mia nois. This includes lots of prominent men, i.e. politicians, and I am sure these Thai men are not married with ex-bar-girls. I am sure many of the wives of these men with mia nois know about them and, for whatever reason, accept the situation. As far as I know mia nois are not acceptable in "the west" so there is a clear difference between here and somewhere else.

So if lots of Thai men get away with mia nois why should this not somehow work with farangs?

France and Italy have their mistresses and in Muslimland you can have multiple wives.  Each culture and each relationship has their view of what is allowable about co-mingling with others.  Some are up front about it, some take the view that as long as it does not interfere with home life it is tolerable to preferable, and some it is verboten.  I have dated girls in long term relationships where once in a while we went on date nights, as in we go to a club and find a girl we both find attractive and see if she is up to coming home with us.  Made some real quality friends and had some good times that way.  My current Thai wife (ex-wife Singaporean but still my business partner) with 3 kids and 15yrs together, if we find ourselves in BKK, we will go hang at some of the red light places, have some drinks, talk to the girls, but no bringing home.  Some people look at sex as the ultimate symbol of commitment to the relationship, some people place more emphasis on commitment to building a life together through thick and thin where a stray hookup is just something to get out of your system and get back on with the life building (no real need to tell about it), and some people have an open marriage from a sex point of view.  As a male of the species, my base biological drive is to mate with as many females as possible.  That's just basic life as the wife says.  Only social pressure, the law, economic resources, religious conditioning, and a persons preference of what makes him or her happy make it otherwise.  So as far as telling her about your dalliances, you really have to know your partner.  If your doing it to relieve yourself of guilt, you might want to ask yourself why you do it then.

[Bluespunk]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I would have expected an answer like that in other countries. But as we all know TiT and this is different. Many, I guess the majority of guys, play around. My idea about this thread is not to argue if this is right or wrong, it's reality. So how do we tell or don't tell our wives about reality?

No wonder you're at the end of a failed relationship with that attitude. 

[murraynz]

i would suggest- the same rules should apply,as in a relationship with a western women..maybe this is why so many farang man have failed relationships with thai woman--if you need to play with more than i woman=surely it makes sense to remain single---two timers  deserve to be ripped off by a thai woman..ha ha 

[JHolmesJr]

The best way to engage a thai woman is to tell her the truth...that you are a butterfly....most off them are used to this (thanks to previous relationships with thai men)...all they expect is that you don't rub it in their face....or bring back some exotic disease to infect their vaginas.

[lindlake]

18 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

Pretty big generalisation. My girlfriend has made it known without a shadow of a doubt that cheating is not ok. Zero. None. 

She has told me that if it happens she’s gone. No contact, sim cut, move away, friends told not to speak to me. Her friends are also if the same thought. 

 

Maybe bar girls (the less than 1% states previously in a comment) MAY put up with it but it’s only because they’re doing the same and you’re just the walking wallet. 

 

Decent Thai girls, or any girl for that matter, will not be ok with you playing around, quiet BJ, second gf as a rule. 

 

 

yes 100% same here my wife told me  if i cheat on her she would leave and cut off my dick and i would never do that any way. 12 years still have my dick 

[NextStationBangkok]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Many of us are in a relationship with a Thai woman and at the same time we go out to bars, have drinks with the boys, buy some drinks for some girls, and maybe we do with these girls a lot more than just having drinks. Should we tell the wife/girlfriend what we do?

Some people say we should always tell the truth but I am not so sure that makes sense in relationships with Thai women. Many Thai wives know that men in general like to play with sexy (bar) girls. Often the men just like to have some fun and maybe a BJ or an hour of sex and that’s it. Then they go home to the loving wife and the men know such entertainment has normally nothing to do with love. But this can obviously become a problem when the wife finds out and wants to know her name and why you did it and if you love the other one and if this was the first time and all these annoying questions.  How do you answer?

I ask this because I am just at the end of a failed relationship and at some stage I will have a new relationship and probably at some stage I will buy another girl a drink or two. Until now I pretended I never touched another girl and everything was fine until my gf found out and she told me I should have told her the truth. But I am not so sure she would have liked to hear the truth. (That was not the main reason for the end of that relationship but it obviously didn’t help.)

What do you do? Do you tell her? What do you tell her?

Personally I think the best we can hope for is that the wife understands that men want to have fun from time to time and just ignores it and does not ask awkward questions. There might be some wives who except reality and can even talk about it. But until now I don’t think I ever met such a woman.

Obviously there is the solution to never play with any other girl but many of us want to have a relation and a little bit of fun on the side…

My idea is the limit this thread to relationships of farang men with Thai gf/wife and short time entertainment on the side. That is already difficult enough.

If yo want to be a announced PlayBoy , a Thai wive wanted to be PlayGirl  too, is it OK with you ?

 

Just keep quite play your games, you are not my friend anymore out side the bars.

 

[473geo]

Well there you have it Op, a few honest observations, and, a great deal of moralizing. from those who would not even contemplate an extra marital shag.

 

 

 

[earlinclaifornia]

I don't do that sort of thing so I have no contributions. Frankly it makes my life better.

[khunPer]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Should we tell the wife/girlfriend what we do?

In my opinion, you shall always speak truth, if you wish a successful relationship – and clear before some hanky panky happens – seem to me like some Thai ladies accept it, whilst others definitely don't. Those ladies that accept it may even say, that "a man cannot eat the same dish every day!"

 

But isn't it the general risk in Thai relationships – or perhaps everywhere? – that a man with a gorgeous, and quite a bit younger partner, often live in risk of she may find one, "more handsome, and more rich", and off she is...

Whilst the other way round, the Thai lady is afraid that her "handsum" sponsor may see a "more beautiful and more young lady", and get hit by one of Cupid's arrows...

 

Therefore I believe in honesty and open talk, and an agreement before anything on the fun side happens – might even be that a cleaver little Thai lady herself will suggest a variety in dishes – she may know that it might be exciting to try something else for a change, but the regular stuff served at home are not that bad either, perhaps even the best...

[Foozool]

She always tells me " go see your ladies friends" otherwise you get board. ?

[Bill Miller]

My gal is inclined to be suspicious, and with good reason.
I left her twice to be with other women. The problem is that I am in love with my lady, and not with the others.
She has hinted that she might be OK with me seeking some outlet once in awhile, because she does not "feel for that", and says that many Thai ladies after fifty do not.
I will continue to try to convince her to at least tolerate my rare advances, because I do not want to "boom boom" with anybody else. Function of age maybe. She is the only one that gets my motor running. 

[scorecard]

4 hours ago, cms22 said:

My wife never asks a question about where I've been if I've been out for a drink (about once every six weeks), and I never ask her if she's gone out with her mates (also about once every six weeks or so). Don't want to get into that territory.

 

Is she frightened to ask you?

[RichardColeman]

My wife is a Thai school teacher. She knows I played around ....a bit. She just laughs and jokes about it.

 

I'd turn the question on its head. Do you think it acceptable that your woman go of maybe whoopy with the local taxi driver whilst your at the bar ? 

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks for your praise of my creativity. I have to admit it was just a spelling mistake - maybe my subconsciousness was at work.

Subconscious sure... too good not to be... after all, you are seeking some time as an "exception" to a relationship...

 

But, ok, more on subject...

 

I had a taxi driver in Bkk one time, 50 yr old Chinese Thai, had a successful limo business, worked with hotels and they decided to eliminate him and just took over his business. He kept one taxi and drove whenever in the mood but spent much of his time out at forest temples, communing with nature. His wife was upset that the big bucks had dried up and knowing he had a good head for business, she wanted him to go back into a business.... She told him that he should find a young girl for motivation and take her as a mia noy and the two of them will split his money...

 

I have been here a long time - seen all sorts of relationships... 

[scorecard]

44 minutes ago, lindlake said:

yes 100% same here my wife told me  if i cheat on her she would leave and cut off my dick and i would never do that any way. 12 years still have my dick 

 

My Thai wife (doctor of medicine - now deceased) made it very plain 'no playing' and I never did, I drank at home, wife occasionally had a glass of wine, my only son never experienced  'dad's out with his buddies'.

 

My Thai son's Thai wife also made it plain when they decided to marry that one even slight transgression would mean the end, no discussion, end.

 

In reality neither of them go out alone and my son never goes to bars etc., with buddies. Both of them want to be at home taking care of their kids, helping with homework etc.

My son likes a beer and a glass of red wine (not chilled), but he prefers to have it at home with the family.

 

 

 

[scorecard]

1 minute ago, RichardColeman said:

My wife is a Thai school teacher. She knows I played around ....a bit. She just laughs and jokes about it.

 

I'd turn the question on its head. Do you think it acceptable that your woman go of maybe whoopy with the local taxi driver whilst your at the bar ? 

 

Good question and I'd like to know the answer.

 

My Guess (repeat guess) is that many farang men who do play would be very angry to discover that their wife is straying.

 

[Kieran00001]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It is well known that lots of Thai men have mia nois. This includes lots of prominent men, i.e. politicians, and I am sure these Thai men are not married with ex-bar-girls. I am sure many of the wives of these men with mia nois know about them and, for whatever reason, accept the situation. As far as I know mia nois are not acceptable in "the west" so there is a clear difference between here and somewhere else.

So if lots of Thai men get away with mia nois why should this not somehow work with farangs?

 

No Thai wife wants their husband to have a mia noi, many divorces result, and mistresses are hardly unusual in the West, some wives accept husbands with mistresses, others don't.  Try not to generalise, it is wrong.

[elliss]

  Having a Mia Noi ,  is acceptable if affordable, it can make a miserable marriage work, so be it .

  The  Marriage Visa, is what marriage is all  about .  It,s immigration photo time again, 

smile my darling, please ..555

 

 

      

Edited September 29, 2017 by elliss