Daughter disowns father for having younger Thai GF

[JLCrab]

Well what I can say reading all this is that I sure missed a lot never having been married and having kids but the good thing is that I sure missed a lot never having been married and having kids.

[grollies]

17 minutes ago, pgrahmm said:

I have 2 daughters living in the states....

The one that has conned - duped - manipulated everybody/everything she could get her hands on since she was a teen basically is unheard from since I'm not around to manipulate.....

As a matter of fact, she helped me make my decision to move here by declaring one day out of the blue "I think I'll pack up the kids (mongrels) and move in with you in Calif" - you need somebody to take care of you....She never calls unless she wants something & it's always an earache & a head scrambling headache after contact......We've basically lost contact & I don't miss it...  

Daughter #2 - 11 months older has worked hard every day....They own their house & have built a successful business that serves about 3 counties in Texas....She would love to have me around because I ran a similar business with 5,000 employees & she'd like to get me semi involved in building/refining their business.....BUT....

She recognizes I'm happy here & she's got a couple of sisters here which she never has questioned....We communicate via messenger almost every day exchanging jokes or family goings on......

She has no use for her sister's approach to life & only hears from her when she wants something....

 

2 girls - 11 months apart....One as selfish/user/abuser as the day is long....

The other is a good hearted, kind, hard working, responsible adult....

The manipulator cut off the communication.....

The good one accepted & embraces her & our/my life with no demands.....

I don't like manipulators - family or not I don't keep them in my life....

 

The OP is getting manipulated....

''There's nowt so queer as folk'' as dear old Mum used to say.

[thaibeachlovers]

Wonder if it's anything to do with children not wanting to think of their parents having a sex life. Having a gf younger than the daughter is making it obvious what the relationship is about.

[chickenslegs]

1 hour ago, SidJames said:

I understand the accepted rule for a younger partner is half your age plus 7 & that's goes for either sex or gender.

There has been an amendment to that rule. When you reach 80+ years of age your gf must still be half your age plus 7 ... but it's now kilograms.

[sipi]

Tell the friend to tell his daughter that he is totally embarrassed by her choice of partner.

Or he could turn up with a fat old man under his arm, introduce him as his new partner  and tell the daughter she was right about choosing a younger Asian was wrong.

[DoctorG]

If he gets on well with her husband he could try to talk with him. Might get somewhere.

Sorry if repeated, did not read all 6 pages.

[dotpoom]

"He loves his daughter"...... I would expect my daughter to want for me what makes me "genuineally" happy. 

   The lady being 5 years younger than the man appears normal to me. With regards to tbe "Asia" thing, don't know.

  I have heard of next of kin not wanting part of their inheritance going into Asian hands (not suggesting it in this case).

[Nemises]

Sometimes it takes a man-up to compromise. The daughter is maybe acting in at least what she feels is the best interests of her family. And the stated goal of the father is to still be able to see his daughter and grand kids. It also may be that the daughter and her husband have more money than the father so financial threats won't cut it

All of what you say above is 100% correct. You certainly have an excellent understanding of the situation.

Just to reiterate, daughter wants her father to be happy and live with who ever and wherever he wants. Daughter wants her father to remain in her and her family’s lives. But if he chooses much younger Asian, daughter wants nothing further to do with him. Daughter has nothing against Asians but considers older western men with much younger Asian partners as “disgusting”. Daughter is more financially better off than her dad, thus money is a mute point.

Dad understands her position. This thread is NOT about attacking the daughters stance.

This thread is about asking other Dads if they have been in similar situations.

Thanks again for those dads who have contributed thus far.

[Xonax]

Sounds exactly like my ex-wife, who turned my daughter against me.

[RayD]

It's a peculiarity of western culture that children think they have the right to dictate to the parents that gave them life and a good upbringing. They are ungrateful little b*st*rds and should not be indulged. "Honor thy mother and father" is a commandment. The Thai way is superior in this regard.

[klauskunkel]

"do this my way, or else" that pretty much sums up the daughter's view. It's intolerant, threatening, uncompromising and most of all "the crime doesn't fit the punishment". You mentioned she works in a law firm..., maybe she should apply some lawyer's attributes to this case before making an emotional judgment without chance to appeal.

[anakot]

My bro is in his 70's but v fit and horny. Sadly his wife died a few years ago and i took him to LOS. He has established a 'connection' of sorts with a 36 year old. Yes one of those. He is fully aware of the situation being a tradie of many years standing... Anyway he has 4 adult kids. The eldest daughter who is nearly 50 said she didn't mind "who he brought into the house so she was younger than me".   We had a good laugh about this particularly since the age difference is decades... Basically what the daughter has done is cut herself out of this part of his life. Had she been supportive she could have helped him get over the grief of losing his mate of 48 years... been involved in his new life and got to know something outside of her fairly limited existence. Ah well I think she is the loser in the long run. 

[zyphodb]

On 12/15/2017 at 9:41 AM, Gregster said:

 

His daughter is not racist. She has close, long-time Asian friends (whom I’ve met) and apparently she doesn’t hesitate employing Asians at her law firm.

 

 

 

In which case why on earth does she have this problem, and 5 years age gap? that's nothing even for westerners, she's making no sense at all, maybe it's because she's Thai with all the assumptions that brings... 

[canuckamuck]

1 hour ago, Gregster said:

 

All of what you say above is 100% correct. You certainly have an excellent understanding of the situation.

Just to reiterate, daughter wants her father to be happy and live with who ever and wherever he wants. Daughter wants her father to remain in her and her family’s lives. But if he chooses much younger Asian, daughter wants nothing further to do with him. Daughter has nothing against Asians but considers older western men with much younger Asian partners as “disgusting”. Daughter is more financially better off than her dad, thus money is a mute point.

Dad understands her position. This thread is NOT about attacking the daughters stance.

This thread is about asking other Dads if they have been in similar situations.

Thanks again for those dads who have contributed thus far.

 

Say what you will, but there is no way this is anything but a race issue. You can't tell me the girl would have a problem with him seeing a 10 years younger white lady. This is all about making sure daddy doesn't marry an Asian. Age is a red herring.

[sammieuk1]

I have 2 sons that have disowned me in the UK for the last 4 years over the most trivial irrelevant thing imaginable my answer disown them back wasted far to much time and money on them for far too long down to them as men to right the wrongs I have tried for the first 2 years to heal the stupid rift then gave up suggest the same. 

[ICECOOL]

For whats worth here is my two cents from someone who has 2 daughters and am with a beautifil thai woman only 1 year older than oldest daughter.

 

 He is a grandfather and she probably wants him close so probably feels new gf is preventing that. He lives in Thailand I am guessing.

 

Suggest he concentrates on two things. Letting daughter to get to know new lady (if he can) Spend more time with grandkids (if possible)

 

Good luck to him

 

[Cranky]

On 12/14/2017 at 2:40 PM, samsensam said:

and has always given her nothing but the best eg 2 x nice cars, a University education resulting multiple degrees, a huge “no expense spared” spectacular wedding, numerous overseas holidays etc.

 

and therein may lie the problem... there's more to being a parent than opening your wallet

 

 

He clearly enjoys giving his money away to young girls, leave him be.  

[mentalcolonization]

I bet you 3/4 of farang in thavisa forum will try to defend the Aussie man because they are in a similar situation. 

[jimn]

1 hour ago, Gregster said:

 

All of what you say above is 100% correct. You certainly have an excellent understanding of the situation.

Just to reiterate, daughter wants her father to be happy and live with who ever and wherever he wants. Daughter wants her father to remain in her and her family’s lives. But if he chooses much younger Asian, daughter wants nothing further to do with him. Daughter has nothing against Asians but considers older western men with much younger Asian partners as “disgusting”. Daughter is more financially better off than her dad, thus money is a mute point.

Dad understands her position. This thread is NOT about attacking the daughters stance.

This thread is about asking other Dads if they have been in similar situations.

Thanks again for those dads who have contributed thus far.

 

I spend 7 months in Thailand and 5 months in the UK. Whist in Thailand my Thai wife and I keep in touch with my sons and my 2 grandchildren via a long video call once every 2 weeks so I am still active in their lives. When we go back to the UK we visit my sons and their wifes regularly, going out for meals and baby sitting the girls. My wife is fully accepted by my family in fact she is good friends with the wifes. I dont support my wifes family but she is my wife and I pay when we shop and go out, the same as in many western countries. I feel the daughter is being totally unreasonable.

By the way my wife is 36 years younger than me and I dont regret a minute of the choice I made.

[Curmudgeon1]

On 2017-12-14 at 1:33 AM, Gregster said:

 

 

Many thanks. Will pass on.

He divorced his (Western) wife after he caught her cheating. Hence his aversion now towards Western women.

His daughter is fully aware her mother cheated and she is also aware her Dad wants a GF from a different culture.

It made no difference, the daughter is not backing down on her position.

 

 

Sometimes your kids turn into adults you may not like. If the daughter loved the father she'd be happy that he was happy. Instead she loves herself far more.  Parenting can be a thankless job. It certainly is a selfless one. 

[hobz]

I bet what she is really saying is "you cant have a hooker girlfriend"

[billd766]

21 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

I thought that my writing "maybe" made that clear.

I could have said "possibly", "perhaps", or "conceivably".

 

So why bother to post in the first place?

[Muzarella]

If we fathers will take in consideration what our children says or think about our actions our lives will be in constant misery and regret....specially when young children changes mind every day. My wife is 26 years younger than myself and my daughters are happy with my decision, but my daughters are mature and married women and close to my wife's age. That's makes a difference.... but, if you friend's daughter is a mature woman, she have a problem....not him.

[chickenslegs]

2 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

So why bother to post in the first place?

In the post that I quoted the issue was raised that the OP was being very defensive of the daughter's behaviour.

I was suggesting a possible reason for this.

Now I have explained my reason for bothering to post - What was yours?

 

[billd766]

18 hours ago, SidJames said:

I understand the accepted rule for a younger partner is half your age plus 7 & that's goes for either sex or gender.

 

What rule would that be and who instituted it?

 

There is NO rule at all.

 

It is down to the 2 people directly concerned. If they are happy with it, why should they care what other people think.

 

My Dad was 15 years older than my Mum when they got married and that was back in 1924 in the UK.

Edited December 16, 2017 by billd766
added extra text

[tonray]

Daughter is being selfish and who her dad sees is none of her damned business and furthermore using emotional blackmail is disgusting and she needs to grow up 

Edited December 16, 2017 by tonray

[Ridler]

He has to let his daughter know that he has to live his own life, just as she has her own life.

If she won’t come round and accept it then he must walk away and it will be her loss and she will eventually come round to seeing that he is happy

[Dogmatix]

One can understand the way the daughter feels but she really needs to grow up and respect other people's right to choose whatever partner they may, including her father's.  A divorced friend of mine had a similar problem when he happened to bump into his daughter on the street when he was walking with a young black girlfriend about the same age as the daughter.  He was also presented with similar ludicrous ultimatums by his daughter but fortunately she grew out of it and the relationship didn't last anyway.

 

In both cases there is nasty element of overt racism which is the most unacceptable part.  If the daughter doesn't grew out of it, he will just have to let her go her own way.  Leaving his chosen partner at the command of his interfering daughter and trying to find a farang replacement about his own age is unlikely to bring him great happiness.     

[NanLaew]

On 12/14/2017 at 1:27 PM, Gregster said:

Her criteria for an “acceptable GF” is that the GF must not be Asian and she must not be more than 5 years younger than him.

I bet she voted for Pauline Hanson too.

[NanLaew]

42 minutes ago, mentalcolonization said:

I bet you 3/4 of farang in thavisa forum will try to defend the Aussie man because they are in a similar situation. 

What's that about a mentalcolon?