How did you find long term love in Thailand?

[Orton Rd]

42 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Really? What else besides money?

Gold, designer bags and shoes usually 

[chickenslegs]

26 minutes ago, Muzarella said:

After getting married I met many of my wife's friends, most mature (over 40) professionals, some very beautiful and fit, doctors, lawyers, business owners, some even very rich, divorced for many years, living alone, and looking to meet and marry a foreigner.

It is quite selfish of you not to introduce them to a few of the members here.

 

 

[Peterw42]

Thaicupid worked for me. Its great if you learn how to use it, All sorts of filters you can apply to weed out BGs and hookers etc, and a few questions you can ask. So long as you dont hit then up for sex or ask underwear color etc (according to my wife about 90% would), chat for a couple of days then meet. An ironed shirt and some aftershave and you have a cute Thai girl showing you around BKK, lunch on the beach at Hua Hin etc.

 

I combined thaicupid with the grand tour,  ,a couple of months in Phuket,   Hua Hin, BKK, Pattaya etc, and dated girls in each place. Met lots of normal everyday Thai girls. Teachers, Bank workers, even a girl that worked in immigration. 

 

Thing is I almost skipped over my wife. In the girls thaicupid profile there is a have kids/no kids etc or "have kids but dont live with them", I always took this to mean BG, as in she is in Pattaya and the kids are back in issan so I woudnt make contact or respond. Turns out there was a different explanation.

 

I still believe you can find a great girl and relationship with BGs, Comes down to why they are doing it, circumstances, trust etc.

[hobobo]

7 hours ago, colinneil said:

You are making some pathetic comments today !!

With money, stupid nonsense, not all Thai women are after just money, yet you think so, why?

Married going on 7 years, my wife has never asked me for 1 baht.

During my 7 months in hospital, unable to access money, my wife paid everything, never once said pay me back.

Good on you Colin, wish that our experiences weren't treated as "hoax", "dream" or similar by the armies of those who came here just for sex!

[Muzarella]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I find it interesting when some people suggest to look for a women with about the same age, education, etc. I guess that is in principle a good idea but how many of us really want a Thai woman of our own (more or less advanced) age?

 

I think one of the wonderful things about this country is that there are so many young, beautiful and available women. Do I really want an old women my own age if I can have a young beauty? For me that question is easy to answer. But obviously the young beauty wants something in return (not only money) and that makes this situation more difficult...

Thailand is one of those countries where mid age women acts and looks a lot younger, some stunning beautiful and fit...and...independents, not interested in bad companions even if they may have a lot of money.... Also Thailand women do not care much about age difference if you are too old for younger Western women. About 10 to 15 years difference it is the norm here. A lot more difficult to find than very young gold diggers, but that's the challenge.

[Muzarella]

57 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

Thaicupid worked for me. Its great if you learn how to use it, All sorts of filters you can apply to weed out BGs and hookers etc, and a few questions you can ask. So long as you dont hit then up for sex or ask underwear color etc (according to my wife about 90% would), chat for a couple of days then meet. An ironed shirt and some aftershave and you have a cute Thai girl showing you around BKK, lunch on the beach at Hua Hin etc.

 

I combined thaicupid with the grand tour,  ,a couple of months in Phuket,   Hua Hin, BKK, Pattaya etc, and dated girls in each place. Met lots of normal everyday Thai girls. Teachers, Bank workers, even a girl that worked in immigration. 

 

Thing is I almost skipped over my wife. In the girls thaicupid profile there is a have kids/no kids etc or "have kids but dont live with them", I always took this to mean BG, as in she is in Pattaya and the kids are back in issan so I woudnt make contact or respond. Turns out there was a different explanation.

 

I still believe you can find a great girl and relationship with BGs, Comes down to why they are doing it, circumstances, trust etc.

You are right. Great girls and ladies on online dating sites, but not so easy to find ones speaking our language and .... if you do not speak Thai..... misunderstandings happens. No problem at all if looking just for fun times and nothing more. For marriage...go slow...takes some time to "read" them well....to avoid bad surprises.

[Muzarella]

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

It is quite selfish of you not to introduce them to a few of the members here.

 

 

Really I did look for nice foreigners for them...but the single guys I met were not good marriage material or just looking for fun..... and also didn't pass my wife's approval. After 9 years of marriage I still not not knowing how I passed her testing.... Just in time....I was tired of meeting the wrong ones. Anyway...it is a problem. I am getting older and she is getting younger.

Only in Thailand.

[pomozki]

8 hours ago, Colabamumbai said:

It took me 7 years and a marriage and divorce, met close to 100 women. I met her on a website, then in person, I knew  after our first meeting she  was a keeper. She also told me no sex on our first date. It has been 2 years now and we will marry soon. She was a factory worker and I was a teacher for 7 years and retired at 65. I was concerned due to a large age difference, but have no regrets.

how much age difference and have u bought her house etc yet?

 

 

 

[Mac98]

Friends first. Take your time. You will learn a lot, good and bad. Then ramp it up for the long run.

[Kadilo]

Who would of thought it. TV giving marriage/ relationship guidance. 

Well done to the many that have found happiness and longevity in their relationships by whatever means they chose. Just goes to show you should keep your mind open and not judge anyone by their past mistakes or their chosen lifestyle. 

Thank god thai ladies don’t or most of us would f ooked!

 

 

[namoi]

Met my beautiful wife online, wasn't looking for a show pony and there is only a 6.1/2 year age gap, she is retired with a masters degree in nursing receiving a good pension and has never asked for 1 baht, I am lucky and proud to have met such a wonderful lady.

Sent from my CPH1707 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[catman20]

13 hours ago, kenk24 said:

Sure, this is how it happens. It's ok. 

 

Bill Maher said something like it is not that women don't have shoes. What they enjoy is to go shopping for new shoes. 

 

Spice of life and all. 

i was married in UK for 17 years.

the first 9 years i was here, i lived with 2 women 1 for 3 year 1 for 6 year been living alone now for 9 years by far the best way, i got g/fs i dont get sick of them or the sex cos only see them 5 or 6 days a month. it keeps everything fresh and exciting. im happy when they come to me and im even happier when there going.life great

[catman20]

12 hours ago, Kinnock said:

The selection process for a real, long term relationship is 100% dictated by the female.  Any influence the male believes he had in the process is just an illusion created by the female to make him submit without a struggle.  Short term relationships are the other way around.

 

The question by the OP is like one lion is a cage asking another lion why he selected that particular zoo.

 

I don't mean this to sound negative - I believed for years that I selected my partner firstly because she had great legs, secondly because she has the best (natural) breast in Bangkok and thirdly because she's a genuinely nice and caring person.  But she admitted that she spotted me weeks before I even noticed her, and she wore a short skirt one day when she knew we'd be meeting on the way to work, and another day she wore a low cut top.  I was easy prey, and it's been great for the last 8 years.

 

When I asked her why she selected me, I was hoping she would say it was my dashing good looks, or my wit and wisdom, but she said "I looked clean".

 

 

 

i think you nailed it in you first paragraph. 

[catman20]

14 hours ago, jvs said:

That is exactly the kind of woman you don't want.

then your in the wrong country or you've had very little experience in the dating game here.

[catman20]

13 hours ago, kekalot said:

 

pay attention to this, the girls you meet online on sites like Thaicupid and Thaifriendly are mostly "farang hunters".. as in they would NOT date a Thai man and will give you a story that .. "once a thai man treated me poorly so no more Thai men.."

 

trust me, I met quite a few from Thaicupid over the years (never from Thaifriendly, F that free site lol) and 95% of them told me that exact story.

most girls on there are quite disillusioned.. and most of them have had farang boyfriends before (not that this is bad) but I have found from the constant contacts that I have kept with some of them over the years that most are not that smart.. (no dissing here) as they should know that they are basically dating short term tourists and that those people are only here for a fun time.. but the girls are none the wiser.

 

I keep hearing about those e-Boyfriends or tourists they met and then cry to me when they leave or find someone else other than them. about 5 or 6 of them are now single with kids from those tourists that had no plans on staying more than a few days or weeks to begin with.

 

proof in point: last year, i broke up with my girlfriend of 1.5 year because she had a major meltdown so i told her we needed a break, she wouldn't give me a break so i told her "maybe we should break up". anyways a week later she met an idiot tourist in hua hin (don't ask me how) and the week after that he got her pregnant.

I've been hearing about this dummy for 11 months now, she married him out of shame as her family practically disowned her and now living a sexless and loveless marriage with a 2 months old kid.

 

turns out buddy is a broke ass and has to go back home next month, lol.

sounds like he did u a favor.

[steven100]

just went to the nearest beer bar and hit the piss      

[OneMoreFarang]

9 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

Thaicupid worked for me. Its great if you learn how to use it, All sorts of filters you can apply to weed out BGs and hookers etc, and a few questions you can ask. So long as you dont hit then up for sex or ask underwear color etc (according to my wife about 90% would), chat for a couple of days then meet. An ironed shirt and some aftershave and you have a cute Thai girl showing you around BKK, lunch on the beach at Hua Hin etc.

 

I combined thaicupid with the grand tour,  ,a couple of months in Phuket,   Hua Hin, BKK, Pattaya etc, and dated girls in each place. Met lots of normal everyday Thai girls. Teachers, Bank workers, even a girl that worked in immigration. 

 

Thing is I almost skipped over my wife. In the girls thaicupid profile there is a have kids/no kids etc or "have kids but dont live with them", I always took this to mean BG, as in she is in Pattaya and the kids are back in issan so I woudnt make contact or respond. Turns out there was a different explanation.

 

I still believe you can find a great girl and relationship with BGs, Comes down to why they are doing it, circumstances, trust etc.

I just had a look at ThaiCupid. I know the girl on the front page - she was the hottest girl in Nana many years ago...

[MaeJoMTB]

10 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

Met lots of normal everyday Thai girls. Teachers, Bank workers, even a girl that worked in immigration. 

That's what they told you anyway.

I bet you didn't check they actually had jobs.

[csabo]

10 hours ago, pomozki said:

how much age difference and have u bought her house etc yet?

 

 

 

14 year age difference. I actually had younger GF's in the States. I would not buy a house for anyone including myself. I helped her start her first business which is very successful and she bought a second on her own with her profits which is also doing very well. 

[jenny2017]

There's a time when I was fed up with Pattaya hookers and I had decided to quit dating and renting bar girls. I think it was a great time to understand how most bar girls live their lives with lies, fake tears and the always changing stories about their poor families, the sick buffaloes, the brothers who had accidents and the usual stories. And the "I love you too much nonsense."

 

 I was very close to marrying a bar girl but decided to stop the relationship after being introduced to her village where I paid a good amount of cash for a "here's the new farang husband party" where many people I had never met, drank as much alcohol as they could, because it was free.

 

Too many of her lies were finally the reason that I flew to Phuket, took a van to Phang Nga where I had rented a nice bungalow at a great resort. I wasn't looking for love, nor was I looking for a hooker. It was difficult to tell R. that I wouldn't come back to her when she phoned me many times.

 

I told her that I couldn't get any more of her lies, that I didn't want to meet any of her friends who're all fooling other foreigners who sent them money, but they never quit their jobs at the bar. Enough. 

I rented a motorbike to get to Khao Lak and I found a little resort with a  beer bar a Thai was running with his wife. 

 

There's this amazing girl working for them and I immediately fell in love with her. Just looking at her made me understand that she's so different to the bar girls I'd always met before. She couldn't speak English and it was good that I could speak at least some Thai, not very well, but enough to talk a bit.

 

I was there every day and happy when I saw her, ordered a beer and tried to have a chat with the girl with the straw hat who cleaned resorts for the Thai couple. For two weeks there's not more than a friendly chat with her and I had no idea how to get to know her better. 

 

She had a son whose birthday came up and her motorbike broke down. I had to drive back anyway and offered her a lift. She invited me to the family where her son was and I met her son. A great little child without a father. She'd left the guy when she's pregnant because the parents didn't want him to get married and finishing school was more important. 

 

 I found out that she was from a place in lower Isaan and I invited her to travel to Prachuap, where a good friend of mine had a resort. The little boy came with us and it was nice to have them around.

 

Then something odd had happened and I ran out of money when my bank card didn't work anymore. We were in Chumpon and spent the last baht for the little boy to buy him a piece of chicken. 

 

She phoned her brother in Rayong, went to an ATM and picked up 10,000 baht, enough to pay the hotel bill and to move on. We got married after eight months and moved to Isaan shortly before the Tsunami made "Baaan Naam Khemm", the place where her son was going to school, to a place where the smell of death was incredible. No more houses, all were gone by the waves. But plenty of dead bodies were still in seawater and the hot sun did the rest...

 

We drove back only three weeks after the disaster and had to find out that many friends had died.

 

I believe that people find what they want if they are not looking for it. We're happily married for 15 years and life's really good. 

  

 

 

[brewsterbudgen]

Like many others, I met mine in a gogo but we didn't get together properly for about 3 years. It takes time to be sure about someone - on both sides. We both wanted a kid, so when she got pregnant it was time to make it permanent. We married in the UK and our boy is now 3. So, in answer to the OP, I would say patience and a long-term view are essential, irrespective of where you meet her.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Peterw42]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

That's what they told you anyway.

I bet you didn't check they actually had jobs.

For some dates, they were in their bank and immigration uniforms

[jenny2017]

15 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

For some dates, they were in their bank and immigration uniforms

The reality is that they all wore a Supergirl T-shirt only/.///  

[MaeJoMTB]

28 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

For some dates, they were in their bank and immigration uniforms

My misses has a nurses uniform ......... but she was never a nurse, and she doesn't wear it in a hospital.

[Suitcase]

19 hours ago, Colabamumbai said:

It took me 7 years and a marriage and divorce, met close to 100 women. I met her on a website, then in person, I knew  after our first meeting she  was a keeper. She also told me no sex on our first date. It has been 2 years now and we will marry soon. She was a factory worker and I was a teacher for 7 years and retired at 65. I was concerned due to a large age difference, but have no regrets.

Was thinking he was going to finish the sentence with:

  “It has been 2 years now and I still have gotten no sex!”

       You say that will happen after the marriage??

[toughlove]

stay away from bar girls is #1 (these girls usually have allot of baggage and are usually only looking to land a foreigner to take care of them and have very little to offer in return other than sex)
 
try and find someone of equal social standing and upbringing and someone who can support and take care of themselves
.
Look towards co-workers for help  
Make new friends 
try dating apps.... If you are religous go to church,  go to singles events,  go to events where you will find someone who has similar interests.

Good post. Bar girls and factory workers have little education and offer little in mental stimulation. I'm curious how the guys who met factory workers on line actually communicated with them?

The above can offer sex but let's face it.. Your in Thailand and shouldn't need to marry for it.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

My misses has a nurses uniform ......... but she was never a nurse, and she doesn't wear it in a hospital.

I know exactly that kind of uniform - I am pretty sure it is not according to the official standard. I like it.

[jenny2017]

2 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

My misses has a nurses uniform ......... but she was never a nurse, and she doesn't wear it in a hospital.

No schoolgirl uniform??

[smotherb]

23 hours ago, transam said:

It really is the luck of the draw...

Not so sure of that. Is a good career or retirement luck or proper planning and preparation? I think you need to be aware of the potential problems and plan your attack depending upon your preferences. Too many of the ladies found in bars or online are in it for the money and far too many have lots of disadvantageous baggage--children, dependent family, ex or even current boyfriends or husbands, drug addictions, gambling problems, etc. ad infinitim. Sure, it is possible to meet a good girl even if she sold her favors or advertised herself, but the odds are against you. I would look elsewhere and be prepared to work for it, besides it can be fun; if you have something to offer the ladies other than just money. I know several available and attractive Thai women who have responsible jobs, whose virtues are not negotiable; but who would entertain a legitimate relationship with a farang, but not a sexpat.

[transam]

1 minute ago, smotherb said:

Not so sure of that. Is a good career or retirement luck or proper planning and preparation? I think you need to be aware of the potential problems and plan your attack depending upon your preferences. Too many of the ladies found in bars or online are in it for the money and far too many have lots of disadvantageous baggage--children, dependent family, ex or even current boyfriends or husbands, drug addictions, gambling problems, etc. ad infinitim. Sure, it is possible to meet a good girl even if she sold her favors or advertised herself, but the odds are against you. I would look elsewhere and be prepared to work for it, besides it can be fun; if you have something to offer the ladies other than just money. I know several available and attractive Thai women who have responsible jobs, whose virtues are not negotiable; but who would entertain a legitimate relationship with a farang, but not a sexpat.

Total tosh.......Man and woman do with their life what they want too do....All have different views of what they want from THEIR life....No two people are the same....