Do you control the purse strings .

[Once Bitten]

A few days ago I was at  a retired expat friends house having a cold beer and I happened to noticed laying on the lounge coffee table a plastic folder marked in large English lettering , house hold accounts . I said jokingly to my friend whats that the wife's account book . He said yes 

 

 

It turns out that his wife keeps a running account book of every thing they as a family spend , from shopping to health insurance to school fee's , every thing is entered in her account book . He showed me the folder and  there were written columns showing the date and the amount paid out and what the out payment was for and a total out amount for each month . His wife at the beginning of each new month then tells my friend the total amount that was paid out the previous month .

 

I was a bit taken aback at how good these accounts looked , but more so on the fact it was his Thai wife doing the accounts which Ive never heard of before . Normally from what I have seen its the foreign husband who watches the purse strings and may keep some sort of running account of house hold or family spending . 

 

My friend made it clear that he was happy with the situation and his wife doing the house hold accounts , every thing that was purchased a sales receipt or invoice  was entered into the account book including electricity and water bills and other services like satellite tv , internet connection costs  and he did say that his wife of eight years was fully aware of his financial position including his personal pension payments.

 

 

 

When the  wife went shopping alone she would request some money to cover the expected costs and return home with the shopping receipts . 

 

So after hearing about my friends wife and the account book and how my friend is apparently happy with the situation , I'm now wondering what others here do when it comes to keeping an eye on monthly spending , do you in some way keep a record of your spending or like my friend do you leave that sort of chore to your partner. Or do you throw caution to the wind and not worry how much goes out of the door .

 

 

 

 

[canuckamuck]

My wife does this, but it has nothing to do with control. She asks for my receipts and she enters her own as well. Just likes to keep track. We have both have equal access to the cash, been that way for 15 years. She is more of a tightwad then I am, but I am not complaining.

[giddyup]

Never kept an account of expenditures since I retired. There's always more coming in than going out so why worry? My partner is frugal and I never have to worry about her overspending.She has her own bank account as well as having a joint account with me. More than 8 years together and 100% trustworthy.

[tifino]

Do you control the purse strings? 

 

Most indubitably!

 

I only ever have 30 baht in my pocket - and she ain't getting THAT

[pgrahmm]

My wife also keeps a detailed account ledger....She categorizes the expenditures & reconciles it at the end of each month by each category.....

I can ask her what we spent/where we got a particular item many years ago and she'll have the info (and receipt if big or warranty item) within a few moments.....Her family (father) taught her to budget & she did this when she was single - one of the first things I learned to appreciate and respect her for.....

 

I give her XX anount of money for household budgeting every month, (it's the exact same amount I'd budgeted to myself for household expenses when single).....Over the many years we've gone from 2 to 4 and the budget has remained the same.....Only twice has she run short & borrowed against an upcoming month..... 

I take care of maintaining, fueling the vehicles & any holidays or outings we take & school costs, misc stuff....

Having a working budget gives her the latitude to make her own choices as far as needs/spending is concerned, if she's not sure she'll ask for my opinion....This takes me out of the "parent/ATM/give me give me" mode & keeps a system of mutual respect while we run our household together.....As an active partnership......

 

She has her own credit cards from before & about once a year she'll buy something big for herself then pay it off to keep things active.....This year she's shopping/comparing mid level cameras.....

I know she's sending something to her mom along the way - that's fine; neither she or they have asked for anything.....

[BobbyL]

I do this for myself in terms of daily spending for work and what my share of the expenses are in terms of rent, car payment etc. 

 

No idea if she does the same. It is probably quite a good idea and something we should do now we're married. 

 

I do keep a small bank account for my 'rainy day' money though. She doesn't know about that. 

[smutcakes]

Neither of us  'control the purse strings' as we are both fully functional mature adults.

 

If i or she wants or needs something then we either buy it or we dont based on normal decision making as you would in any country, relationship or marriage.

[EVENKEEL]

We only buy and spend as needed so I figure as long as more money comes in than goes out we're good.

[i claudius]

Just keep a record of monthly expenses but nothing indevidual.we both have bank accounts plus joint accounts in the UK. Been married so long we trust each other we also have each others pin nos

 

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[lockyv7]

i have been trying to get a couple of my adult children to do this account keeping to take control of there money instead if it taking control of them. My wife keeps track of everything but she has a degree in business from the States and is tight as a fishes a*#e. 

[thrilled]

I believe this is called A budget.Everyone should do this.unless you have money to waste.

[OmarZaid]

My wife does it all and I'm glad of it.  It's her country. 

 

When abroad, I did it, but now that I'm retired and also part invalid (post cardiac surgery and MS)  she takes care of all the finances. I just go to the bank once a month for the withdrawal.  Not a penny in my wallet.

 

But this is surely not advisable for all. I'm fortunate to have a trustworthy woman, thank God!

[steven100]

I keep track of all my expenditures,  beer, gambling, pizza, more beer .....   more gambling  !!

[wwest5829]

I have told my "significant other" of my monthly income. My plan is for "what comes to Thailand stays in Thailand". If we go over the monthly amount, well, it won't be there when I croak. Spend less than the monthly income, it will go to her when Igo up the chimney. She is given a monthly amount for her control and we agree when other expenses come up. I keep a ledger of spending so we can see what the set basic expenses are every month (around 26,000 baht). The remainder fluctuates for travel, food, medicine, etc.

[murraynz]

i doubt if very many thai women are that sensible with finances...but we should all have some sort of a spending allowance to try and keep to...

there is not much point in living "over budget"

[Sirbergan]

I just give her all the money that's coming in, apart from my daily beer and cigarette funds, and leave it all to her. I have no idea what our spendings are, but it's a lot. My 500 baht daily beer and cigarette budget certainly doesn't help, nor do the 2 car loans.

[4MyEgo]

On 21/02/2018 at 4:41 PM, giddyup said:

Never kept an account of expenditures since I retired. There's always more coming in than going out so why worry? My partner is frugal and I never have to worry about her overspending.She has her own bank account as well as having a joint account with me. More than 8 years together and 100% trustworthy.

Same same, more coming in than going out, wife is frugal, but not when it comes to quality food and that suites me.

 

I pay for everything, she gets 300 a day paid weekly to buy local veggies daily and give the kids some school money. She also gets money for what she wants, when she wants, i.e. just has to ask and she receives.

 

She has her own bank account as I do, no joint accounts, together more than a decade, 110% trustworthy, but I hold the key to the funds, because you just don't leave yourself in a situation that could all of a sudden be your undoing as it has been for many many many farangs.

 

Joint finances has nothing to do with trust in my opinion, keeping things separate is about keeping things simple and you being on top of things, i.e. you always have to have a plan B, and you only invest as much as your prepared to lose, in love today, what happens tomorrow ?

 

So why leave yourself wide open if its your $'s, a will is in place, and if I go earlier than expected, i.e. 110 years of age, its hers, if we part separate ways for other reasons, she has a house, a car, a bike and the kids, I walk away with 90%, fair is fair oy 555

 

Currently everything is and has been the same since day one, so it works for us, and will keep the sails steady as she goes.

 

If two people are both producing then its different, but I like it just the way it is, and it also suites her.

 

Over the decade we have been together she has managed t buy about 4 or 5 land parcels from the pocket money I have given her above the usual weekly allowance, so she has a good fall back position.

Edited February 23, 2018 by 4MyEgo

[jumbo]

I give her a 100K every month and when she needs more I need a reason..

no strings, no purse, bills don't surprisingly go up in my book...

budgets?? spendings? We keep the bills for the appliances we buy for warranty issues... that's it

 

[GreasyFingers]

35 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Same same, more coming in than going out

Good position to be in but we are not so fortunate. What we spend is not being replaced so need to be a little careful so it does not run out in the next 5-10 years. We have a joint budget that I keep a daily record of. She can take what she likes for whatever she needs, just needs to tell me what she takes. When I am gone there should be some left over for her.

[French mate]

Every month i give my wife a set anount of money and she have to take care of all the basic with it (food, childs, familly demand, bills...).
I keep for myself a smaller fixed sum who is used for the little accidents and extra of the month (going out with the childs, car maintenance, take care of the sick rabbit, repair something who broke in the house..)

The rest of my money is saved for the big thing like holliday in europe, a major home improvement, buy a new car...

Work like a charm for me, no need to keep a trace of where is spend the daily money as if one of the budget run out, we just wait the next month (even if that mean eat only noddle). With this way, my wife make sure to never run out of money before the last day :)
 

[Surasak]

3 hours ago, thrilled said:

I believe this is called A budget.Everyone should do this.unless you have money to waste.

If someone has money to waste, please PM me.

[Surasak]

My wife works but I'm not sure how much she earns. About 1000 per day when schools are open, I think. However, I give her a set amount each month for household bills and general items. I pay for running the car, outings such a dinner once a week, visits and holidays. We have separate bank accounts, I don't know what she has and she doesn't know what I have. She does know I have made ample provision for her when I depart this cruel world and we are both happy with the situation as it stands.

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, GreasyFingers said:

Good position to be in but we are not so fortunate. What we spend is not being replaced so need to be a little careful so it does not run out in the next 5-10 years. We have a joint budget that I keep a daily record of. She can take what she likes for whatever she needs, just needs to tell me what she takes. When I am gone there should be some left over for her.

Agree, it is a good position to be in, but I can assure you it didn't come from any hand outs or inheritance, just year of hard work, further study, investing, marriage breakup, and then the decision to retire 12 years early in a foreign land with my beautiful wife and be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle.

 

I came from a poor background, and by no means did all my years of work make me a millionaire, although here compared to Sydney, I can chill out by not having a huge mortgage around my neck to enslave me in the workforce, having said that, I am now start to enjoy the fruits of my years of hard labour, which I will NEVER go through again in this lifetime, just too bloody difficult and stressful.

 

We all have different levels of savings, incomes, budgets, the thing is, to make them last regardless, and spoil ourselves in small ways, like an ice cream every now and again  555 

[Lacessit]

It depends on whether the wife/GF understands income and expenditure as Mr. Micawber did. If they don't, it's advisable to control the money flow yourself.

The big trap in Thailand is when they start borrowing - I've left no room for doubt with my GF it's over if she does, because she doesn't need to.

I've only ever borrowed money once for a house mortgage, and that was nearly 50 years ago.

[thaiguzzi]

Jeez guys.

Life's too short.

I thought i was OCD in my workshop but some of these posts are ridiculous...

[thaiguzzi]

11 hours ago, jumbo said:

I give her a 100K every month and when she needs more I need a reason..

no strings, no purse, bills don't surprisingly go up in my book...

budgets?? spendings? We keep the bills for the appliances we buy for warranty issues... that's it

 

I'm sure you are extremely popular.

100k pm.......

[steven100]

21 hours ago, Sirbergan said:

I just give her all the money that's coming in, apart from my daily beer and cigarette funds, and leave it all to her. I have no idea what our spendings are, but it's a lot. My 500 baht daily beer and cigarette budget certainly doesn't help, nor do the 2 car loans.

I don't think the 500 baht is near enough for beer .... let alone your ciggs.  That 500 is gone by lunch time in my house ....      you need 1000+ just for a steady day ...

[Kadilo]

I don't think the 500 baht is near enough for beer .... let alone your ciggs.  That 500 is gone by lunch time in my house ....      you need 1000+ just for a steady day ...

You might, a non pisshead may not.


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[Sirbergan]

1 hour ago, steven100 said:

I don't think the 500 baht is near enough for beer .... let alone your ciggs.  That 500 is gone by lunch time in my house ....      you need 1000+ just for a steady day ...

8 big bottles of Archa (I only drink in the evenings) and 2 packs of small L&M  works out to around 500. 

 

[smokie36]

I have a secret pizza budget and she steals the coins from my pocket and keeps them in a jar.

 

Gawd help me if I touch that jar.

 

Mind you I always get the last slice of pizza.

 

Blissful living.