Has this happened to you?

[1FinickyOne]

"how cold & insincere they immediately become without any warning."

 

You are saying w/o any warning that you perceived... maybe if you had to guess, what ways might you have let her down... ??

 

And, what you find heartless, she probably conceives as kind -  not throwing insults at you would be nicer than telling you things that will have the same result... it's over. 

 

Sorry for your pain - - don't stop seeking the pleasures of life... just move on. 

[baansgr]

Try the old fashioned way, write her a letter?

[FritsSikkink]

31 minutes ago, TumblinDice said:

Thats what I've tried, 2 ph n#s, even a second FB account. She's completely cut me off. Its so ridiculous that she cant admit whatever it is. I've accepted that its over. Knowing this about her I wouldn't want to be with someone who can pull this off without a conscience.  I just want to know what it was.

She found somebody who sleeps with her and makes her happy, at least more happy than writing about getting married while you never slept with each other. MOVE ON

Edited August 4, 2018 by FritsSikkink

[1FinickyOne]

8 minutes ago, IAMHERE said:

Alternate Scenario: She was raped against her will by the local headman or his son or maybe the school administrator or police, and as one of the results feels unworthy of you.  Many reasons that she'd cut off all communications, some with nothing to do with you.

It might not be as violent as you suggest but yes, excellent point - - there can be any number of explanations that have nothing to do with you.. and one might be that she found someone she likes better for whatever reason... 

 

the words "long distance" & "relationship" are not harmonic... 

[Emster23]

A bloke in the hand is worth two (or more) in the bush

I had a sociology professor who once quipped "Absence makes the heart go wander". That made me laugh and stuck with me.

[Tchooptip]

In all types of relationships, commercial or emotional, in the event of a change of plan, any self-respecting human being is supposed to give at least an explanation to the partner concerned. Not to do so is cowardice and a lack of self-respect. 

So, logically the question of an honest explanation for an ex-anything does not even arise.

...this is my opinion that I stand for but I am not God the Father ?

[TumblinDice]

20 minutes ago, bannork said:

Lots of good advice here TD, ( love The Stones). You probably did read more into the romance than she did but I understand your desire to know the real reason for the cut off. You need closure. 

Seeing she won't respond at all, do you have any other contacts at the school you both worked at? Any friends there who might be able to fill you in on what happened? Or any of her friends on Facebook whom you know? You could drop them a line, explaining you'd like to know what happened.

Yeah I've thought of that but knowing Thais, they'll all stick together & not tell me. I am friends with some on FB but I really don't want to stoop that low. (But I probably will just to get closure). 

Another Canadian teacher had warned me off about her from day one, how selfish & deceptive she was but I couldn't see it or believe it, until now.

A simple explanation or reason is all I'm asking from her. Christ, we were colleagues & friends for over a year. 

A previous post with photos of her may just as well expose her into the shame. Haha. But I am done with her. I've seen her true colors now & there's no going back for me. I'd just like to know what it is that changed.

[TumblinDice]

1 hour ago, maccastime said:

I retired in 2011 relocated to los.with a Thai lady that I met in Aus lived in aus for 13 years.after 1 year in Thailand and her heading off to hundreds of temples. I did a few with her but not as many as her. She meets a Thai lad. So after catching her out. Booked her on a one way ticket back to Australia.stayed alone for 6 months. Then met a lovely Thai lady we got on extra well. Then late 2016 she has a bleed on the brain never really recoved. Sadly she passed away in January this year.i think about her a lot. So sad but life can be so cruel. 

Sorry to hear that. Its tough when you cant see the person or get an answer, at least to say goodbye in a civil way. Im 12000kms away what am I gonna do? A simple email "dear john" letter would be nice.

[likeke]

She has moved on and now you should as well. People do this because there was never any real investment in the "relationship." I've even done it to a few Thai ladies once I moved back to my country. Blocked them from Line, Facebook and all email. Forget internet relationships. Not going to work. 

[HungDonger]

Maybe she is worried that any communication she has with you will create issues with her new fella

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, TumblinDice said:

Hey, I realize its all over. I'd just like a explanation from her as to what happened. I'm not crying about it because I knew it was a long shot, just bewildered that she won't say anything & completely cuts communication. And to me it sounds like this "saving face" BS that Thais live by. That, I'm trying to get my head around & asking if there's been others who experienced similar. I've never known western women to cut & run without some kind of verbal last word.

 

BritManToo, your studly ways are commendable. Keep it up! 

 

Sounds to me that she is like one of those, Mills & Booms kind of Princesses, i.e. "I need him to be that guy that will prove his love for me", i.e. if he really truly loves me, he will get on the next plane and come to me with a big bunch of red roses and get on his knee and ask me to marry him, that's when I will tell him to his face, I can't, your a nice guy, but I love my friend, she came into my life just after you left, so solly.

 

All jokes aside mate, if the girl has just cut you off means, she doesn't love you enough to go forward, so take that as her loss and your lottery ticket to live another day, because if you look into that crystal ball and see that your married to her with a couple of kids, and then all of a sudden one day she ups and leaves without telling you anything, with the kids as well, could you imagine the pain and suffering you would be going through, suicidal stuff for some guys.

 

The horse through you off, your half ways there, keep dusting it off, find another you can get onto, there are no guarantees she won't throw you off either, and if you can't find one that shows and gives you unconditional love, then she is not worthy of being your mare.

 

Cheer up mate, and always put yourself 1st otherwise there won't be anything left of you if you need a woman to love you, sure it's great, but you come 1st, can't say that enough times.

 

 

Edited August 4, 2018 by 4MyEgo

[TumblinDice]

1 hour ago, Daveyh said:

She has definitely moved on ....... you should do the same. Don't dwell on it .......... no point. She's found something else that just might be better than what she had ............. Thai thinking is their family & what she can do to improve her quality of life. It's always money, money & money ............ which is of course "survival" here. My view? ............... relationships are for fools here. The women are beautiful & enjoy your stay here ................. "pay as you go" ......... you'll be a lot happier! Good luck & happy hunting eh?

That's bang on. She has mentioned her family countless times & I know about the Thai tradition. If you marry a Thai, you marry mom & dad too. She has a kid & her father is apparently terminally ill. I'm not too agreeable about supporting her parents so I'm sure that is 99% of her reason. 

Best for both of us I guess. I'm glad I saw this in her now & not thousands of dollars later.

[TumblinDice]

4 minutes ago, HungDonger said:

Maybe she is worried that any communication she has with you will create issues with her new fella

Thats what the last one told me. But she was a bar girl so I wasn't too surprised. I thought I graduated to a finer, more sophisticated quality of breed but I guess not. Save face at all costs. 

[DILLIGAD]

Maybe she is worried that any communication she has with you will create issues with her new fella

Or end up on a well known forum showing photo’s ! 555

 

Be it a bar-girl/doctor or solicitor, relationships here in Thailand are ALL like a business transaction whether you like it or not. Many guys don’t see this and believe there are honorable feelings involved when, in reality, there are very little.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Juan B Tong]

Just go to your safeplace and grow a pair.

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, ehs818 said:

About 6 weeks later I got a reply from her, totally unexpected. She said she hoped that I would be happy for her and that she'd gotten married in December. I never replied back to her email.

You should have sent her back an email with a picture of you a drop dead gorgeous female, telling her that you are happy for her as you are for yourself, and that all this time you felt very guilty when you were in your relationship with her because towards the end you were faithful to her, and her ending your relationship, made you realise that it was the girl you had been sleeping with while in your relationship that you loved and ended up being with, who is pregnant to your twins now. 

 

Summing up the email you would have also added that she did have a place in your heart once, but you cannot hold back true love ??

Edited August 4, 2018 by 4MyEgo

[TumblinDice]

37 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

It might not be as violent as you suggest but yes, excellent point - - there can be any number of explanations that have nothing to do with you.. and one might be that she found someone she likes better for whatever reason... 

 

the words "long distance" & "relationship" are not harmonic... 

Thats well said! It's oil & water.

The plan was for her to come for a visit in October when classes were done & she had the month off. We had been planning this since December. She just ran out of patience & saved me a bundle.

I should be thanking her!

[ratcatcher]

1 hour ago, TumblinDice said:

Thats what I've tried, 2 ph n#s, even a second FB account. She's completely cut me off. Its so ridiculous that she cant admit whatever it is. I've accepted that its over. Knowing this about her I wouldn't want to be with someone who can pull this off without a conscience.  I just want to know what it was.

                                                                                   

[TumblinDice]

1 minute ago, Juan B Tong said:

Just go to your safeplace and grow a pair.

Ohhh, a hard azz tough guy who's got what he thinks is the biggest pair

[transam]

If the OP knew what my ex UK lady of 24 years tried to do to me, and she was threatened with a prison sentence for lying in court, he will thank his lucky stars and move on..?

[TumblinDice]

33 minutes ago, Tchooptip said:

In all types of relationships, commercial or emotional, in the event of a change of plan, any self-respecting human being is supposed to give at least an explanation to the partner concerned. Not to do so is cowardice and a lack of self-respect. 

So, logically the question of an honest explanation for an ex-anything does not even arise.

...this is my opinion that I stand for but I am not God the Father ?

Excellently said. Thats what I was trying to articulate myself. Thank you for that!

[jippytum]

You have to remember when Thai girls are not fishing they are mending their nets .She got a better catch than you and moved on .To retain your sanity please do the same .

[Mace648]

Its over, and its as simple as that. Just find another one and move on. You are either very very young or very inexperienced but it is time for you to learn that women are always looking for the best deal and obviously someone came along who she felt made her a better offer than you did,. Just cut your losses and move on.

[atyclb]

Be grateful she didn't do what the title of your post made me think; she cut something off.

[hellstens]

It can be a family thing, her family say NO and ask her to finish you,

happen many time here.

[TumblinDice]

1 minute ago, Mace648 said:

Its over, and its as simple as that. Just find another one and move on. You are either very very young or very inexperienced but it is time for you to learn that women are always looking for the best deal and obviously someone came along who she felt made her a better offer than you did,. Just cut your losses and move on.

I'm not young & I'm not inexperienced.

 

What it is is I'm too good looking with a big banana but not rich enough. ?

[ratcatcher]

1 minute ago, TumblinDice said:

I'm not young & I'm not inexperienced.

 

What it is is I'm too good looking with a big banana but not rich enough. ?

Well, if you can handle this cut-off properly, it will prove that your brain is in your head and not your big banana where a lot of men have theirs.

[transam]

4 minutes ago, TumblinDice said:

I'm not young & I'm not inexperienced.

 

What it is is I'm too good looking with a big banana but not rich enough. ?

Aaaaaaah, now we are getting down to the nitty gritty...Seems your banana was/could be making girlie ploblems....Thankfully I will never make that ploblem for any bird...?

[ratcatcher]

1 minute ago, transam said:

Aaaaaaah, now we are getting down to the nitty gritty...Seems your banana was/could be making girlie ploblems....Thankfully I will never make that ploblem for any bird...?

Your avatar does indicate you have a big motor though??

[Nice Boyd]

BBD Bigger Better Deal is what we call it Stateside...

Edited August 4, 2018 by Nice Boyd