A woman had been on the game for four years and was worried about the size of her f@nny on her wedding night, so she decided to tell her new husband she caught it climbing over a fence.

 

After an hour in bed with her he said, "how far across the field where you before you realised it was caught?".

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Is it possible to buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Only if you have a queque mate!

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

If you want a job in the moisturiser industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.

I'm a bit wet behind the ears when it comes to this industry!  Does that meen I'm qualified for a job interview?

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Did the civilisation of ancient Egypt break down because it was essentially just a massive pyramid scheme?

I believe it was the original "Crypto" currency but run by the Mummie's union who had it all wrapped up before the guys who gave a tootin came in and raided the tombs!

 

 

 

Good mums let you lick the food mixer.
Great mums turn them off first!
 

My friend David has just had his id stolen. 

Now he’s known as just "Dav"! 

Some people are such treasures. 
You just want to bury them!

I just can’t handle automatic doors!

Todays Chat-up Line:-

7 hours ago, fangless said:

I believe it was the original "Crypto" currency but run by the Mummie's union who had it all wrapped up before the guys who gave a tootin came in and raided the tombs!

 

Sounds like a Pharaoh story to me!

1 hour ago, VBF said:

Sounds like a Pharaoh story to me!

May the Sphinx be upon you! ????

 

 

1 hour ago, fangless said:

May the Sphinx be upon you! ????

 

But does the palace have pharaohs at the bottom of the garden?