Hooker in lower Manhattan hails a cab for a lift uptown.

 

Cab stops in front of the hooker's building, looks int he rearview and says: That'll be $24.70 doll."  

 

The hooker catches his eye in the mirror, cocks her her leg up exposing her source of income and invitingly says" "Take it out in trade?"

 

Whereupon the cabbie says: "Ah, jeeze lady, don't 'cha have nothin' smaller?" 

2 hours ago, KannikaP said:

 

 

1 minute ago, KannikaP said:

 

 

 

 

 

Midwife for sale.
£500
Can deliver.

One way or another, I'll find a means to stop quoting Blondie songs.

CNN
"Heavy snow in Paris closes Eiffel tower".
How deep was it?

God moves in mysterious ways.
Best chess piece ever.

An old fella was celebrating 92 years on this earth.
He spoke to his toes:
"Hello toes." He said. "How are you? You know, you are 92 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember how we walked in the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon. The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday toes!"
"Hello, knees!" He continued. "How are you? You know you're 92 today.. Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday, knees!"
Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willie! You little <deleted>. Just think, If you were alive today, you'd be 92."

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

As you get older, all calendars should come with a warning:

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.