17 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

They are!!

 

During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children enter the dining room totally nude and walk slowly around the table. The parents are so embarrassed that they pretend nothing is happening and keep the conversation going. The guests cooperate and also continue as if nothing extraordinary is happening. After going all the way around the room the children leave, and there is a moment of silence at the table, during which one of the children is heard saying,

 

"You see, it is vanishing cream!"
 

Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat in a high-end department store.

"Do you realize," Sarah says, "that some poor, dumb animal had to suffer just for you to wear that coat?"

Sarah's mother turns to her and snaps,

"Don't you dare call your father an animal."
 

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
 

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
 

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." 

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." 

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." 

 

Is it still premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married?" 

One for the intellectuals amongst us..............to explain this to me [emoji851]

 

Either way it is !!

 

 

EDIT :

 

What !! Can’t even say anymore !!

 

 

EDIT: Doh !!

A bit severe this !!

Where’s that Listerine ??

Eye cabbage is my level these days!!

My dog can do this all by himself anyway ☹️

Surely it depends how wide the door is ??

He’ll probably get “ suspended “ for this ????

As Tokyo was being destroyed a stroke of luck stopped Godzilla in his tracks !!

1 hour ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

One for the intellectuals amongst us..............to explain this to me

I don't want to display unkindness, but they look like ravens to me.

I don't want to display unkindness, but they look like ravens to me.

 Cheeky !!

But you are possibly correct.

 

Can you tell which is which ?

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Which is which ?

Well, they both look like rooks, so they should be in Parliament - or, at least, a castle.

We've all been there ...

My girlfriend kept going on about how much she loves drunken holiday sex.. 

Worst postcard ever!

 

My wife accused me of having an affair with a girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

How could she say that?

 

11 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Eye cabbage is my level these days!!

For some reason a Turnip came to mind!

11 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

He’ll probably get “ suspended “ for this

You could always fly over and offer him a package of solutions to help deliver him from his problems!

15 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

One for the intellectuals amongst us..............to explain this to me

I just remembered this morning the link between your joke and the collection of crows.