10 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

In our school it was

 

Jingle bells,

Batman smells,

Robin flew away.

Batmobile lost a wheel

on the motorway.

 

Alternately, the last two lines were replaced by

Wonder Woman lost her bosom

on the motorway.

(Accompanied with much tittering (no pun intended) from our childish minds).

I just got off the phone with a friend in Canada.
He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.
The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing.
His wife has done nothing but look through the Kitchen window all day.
He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her In.

I bought a book called The Worlds 100 Most Depraved and Disgusting Jokes.

When you break the price down per joke it was really cheap; I only paid for the authors 6 cents of humour.

Peter was talking to his friend Bob.

"I had it all Bob ... money... a beautiful house... two fast cars ... and the love of a beautiful woman."

"Then pow! .. It was all gone!"

"What happened?" asked Bob?

"My wife found out about the beautiful woman!"

I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards',

and I thought... 'That's just spam...'

When I was a student I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

I've decided I want a pet termite. I'm going to call him Clint. Clint Eatswood.

10 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Robin flew away

In our school it was Robin laid an egg… 

 

https://youtu.be/ub9K4g_qeLs&t=24

 

Turkey breast anyone?

On 12/10/2022 at 10:13 AM, ballpoint said:

The one on the left looks like Freddie Mercury. 

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

The one on the left looks like Freddie Mercury. 

From their "A day at the races" album?

 

Anyway, he can't sing today. He's a little horse.

BBC Xmas and New Year schedule to be 23rd Dec to 2nd Jan 24 hours a day of World Cup 1966 alternating with The Longest Day. 

Normal service will resume on the 3rd of January.

 

Three friends were in the bar talking about their wives.

 

My wife is so fat she just stays in the kitchen all day eating.

Well, my wife is so fat she cannot get up to go into the kitchen.

What about your wife bud?

Well, my wife is so fat she sits around the house.

 

 

A Bar Opened Opposite a Church!

 

The Church Prayed Daily against the bar business.

 

Days later the bar was struck by lightning & caught fire which destroyed it.

 

Bar Owner Sued the Church Authorities for the cause of its destruction, as it was an action because of their Prayer.

 

The Church Denied all Responsibility!!!

 

So, the judge commented,

"It's Difficult to Decide the Case because *here we have a Bar Owner  Who Believes in the Power of Prayer & an Entire Church that Doesn't Believe in it! "

 

 

12 hours ago, ballpoint said:

In our school it was

 

Jingle bells,

Batman smells,

Robin flew away.

Batmobile lost a wheel

on the motorway.

 

Alternately, the last two lines were replaced by

Wonder Woman lost her bosom

on the motorway.

(Accompanied with much tittering (no pun intended) from our childish minds).

The version I remember is:

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost a wheel
And The Joker got away - Hey!

 

But we can surely agree on this classic hymn:

While shepherds washed their socks by night,
And hung them on the line,
The angel of the Lord came down,
And said "Those socks are mine!"

Boy! They aren't kidding!