A salesman knocks on the door of a home and it’s answered by a 12 year old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, “Excuse me son but is your mother or father home?” To which the boy replies, “Does it ...... look like it?”

The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the fellow said, "Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me - do you have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?"

"As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot fetish - but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

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A Cowboy Story.................

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well,  I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the <deleted> out of all of you!

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'

Chang Mai

 

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28 minutes ago, still kicking said:

I skipped the salad and ate bacon bits with 3 smashed up eggs for my evening meal tonight.

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